Swimming pools and your Children

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K&H Miniatures

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I went to pick up my daughter yesterday from my ex sisterinlaws house. Hollee was in the swimming pool and had floaties on. This was all she had on for any flotation device. We all know these are not that trustworthy. The pool is about 4 foot deep to my estimation. No way could HOllee touch the bottom. She is in there floating with her head above water. The only other person in there with her is her cousin who is only around 7-8 years old. I was so mad. My ex motherinlaw and sister in law were out there but not close enough for me. Hollee is only 4. She does not need to be in the pool without an adult. I am going to put a small pool about this size up at my house this week. I am worried now that Hollee will think she can be in the pool by herself and just go get in without anyone with her or any flotation device. I have seen too many kids drown from foolish resposibility with pools/water and I have treated some with the side effects of oxygen deprivation with resulting permanent brain damage.

What would you say or do to someone this idiotic and irresponsible. My daughter has to go over there quite a lot this summer. I don't like it. My dad I know is probably going to say something to them. Also, Hollee has a horrible bruise on her from a fall supposedly from a chair and the other leg she doesn't put all of her weight on it. She also moves it out to the side when walking and walks really weird. I am so scared worried and concerned about her. I wish she did not have to go over there anymore, but she does and there is really nothing I can do about it. I am sorry for venting, but I need help in deciding what to do or say. I know I need to talk to Hollee about not ever ever getting in the pool without an adult in there with her, but she only asked why yesterday. Please give me some suggestions.

On a lighter side I get to go and pick up my new boys this morning. They are both double registered amha/amhr. They are wonderful. Thanks and Godbless. Kristy
 

Casnos Minis

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We have a 3 1/2 ft deep pool and my kids 8 and 5 know they can't go in with out us right there. I would tell them this is no appropriate for my child and that if you're not right next to or in the pool she can't go in. As for her leg go to the doctor's and get it checke dout. She shouldn't be walking like that for a little bruise. And congrats on your new boys.

Christy
 

Floridachick

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We have a pool and live next to a Spring. Our kids learned how to swim by 3 yrs old and are very strong swimmers at 5 and 8 yrs old. We have ALWAYS been strict about water rules! No swimming alone or without an adult watching. ALways keep the gate to the pool locked and ladders pulled out if its an above ground. Be very strict with the rules and teach your child and things should help. I would seriously speak to them at the house about YOUR rules for near the pool and enforce them or make it known she can't go in at all. SOrry your having troubles but life is too precious to gamble with.
 

FoRebel

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I agree with the others. You need to set out strict rules for the pool for Hollee. She either follows those rules or there is no pool (I have a 4 yr old son, it's what we do at MIL's ). As for her leg, get her into urgent care today and have it looked at. There is no reason why she should be walking like she is. Have the bruise looked at too! Honestly,after having dealt with my ex-husband abusing my son by squeezing him around the waist with his hands at a year old during a supervised visit, going to the doctor and having all of this documented in her records will be your best asset if something more happens.
I'm SO sorry you're having to deal with this!
 

Marty

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You have every right to be livid.

I know what its like to bury a child.

I don't know what your circumstances are but as a mom, there is no way my kid would go back there period no matter what I had to do to protect my child and pull out all the stops. Hollee was sparred once but for some of us, there was no second chance.
 

Miniv

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Lay down the LAW about swimming. I would also suggest that you sign your daughter up for swimming classes if you can.

Have your daughter checked out by a doctor for her leg. And you need to let the doctor know where she got injured, so it's documented. That doesn't sound right.
 

Laura

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[SIZE=12pt]I have been in your situation and unfortunately, the way custody laws are, there is very little OFFICIALLY you can do. You can talk to Hollee about it and talk to her Dad and the other adults about your concerns about the pool, but you can't DEMAND or force anything
[/SIZE]

Kids do get bruises. I overprotect Mia, because I know her Dad will flip out over every bruise and bump


The leg issue I would DEFINITELY see a doctor about. Did she say how it happened?

Most of the custody laws to a great job of protecting the parents' rights, but do very little for the child...

Marty,

I have been told to my face (actually threatened), by a judge, that what happens during Mia's visitation with her Dad is NONE of my business, NOTHING and I am not to interfere or makes any comments or suggestions. Yet, he can call any time and demand to know where we are, who we are with and what we are doing....sounds fair huh?

**********

I do want to add that things, for the most part, are getting better with Mia's Dad. He's trying and I'm still trying, so it *IS* better.
 
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Magic

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Lay down the LAW about swimming. I would also suggest that you sign your daughter up for swimming classes if you can.

Have your daughter checked out by a doctor for her leg. And you need to let the doctor know where she got injured, so it's documented. That doesn't sound right.

I second this!! You may not be able to control what happens while Hollee isn't with you, but if she knows how to swim, she'll be better off. I WOULD ask that they keep a close eye on her while she is in the pool, or don't let her swim (some people, sheesh!) Prayers for you and Hollee, I hope this gets resolved!
 

K&H Miniatures

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Thanks everyone. I worry about her so much. I had a bad attorney when we got the divorce. He knew how afraid I was of my ex at the time. I was physically and verbally abused by him. Never anything that really sent me to the hospital but scared me to death just the same. I never knew what to expect. I wanted to respect my husband, he was the head of the household, and I wanted to be a good Christian wife. So, I did my best. After Hollee was born it was not great at all as far as him. What finally made me leave was I got home one day and got the mail. He had been making sure he was the one to get it. Well, I know now why. I found a bill for 900 numbers. He had been making sex phone calls. When I tried to asking him about it he denied it. Then admittted it. He still tries to control me and I still can't stand to be around him for too long at a time, but it is getting better. If I didn't have the parents that I have I don't know what I would do.

Anyway, I have not seen Hollee too much today. My dad and I just got back from picking up my new boys. I will post pics later. My mom and her were asleep so I came home to eat some lunch. She was still limping this morning. She says her knee hurts, but to me it sounds more like her hip or pelvis. She says she fell out of a chair at her daddy's??? Has she possibly been trained to say this. He still lives with his mother. If it is not any better come Monday I will take her to the doctor. I am a physical therapist assisstant and will take her to work with me and have my supervising PT look at it and see what he thinks. It doesn't appear to be that swollen, but it is hard to tell. Well, thanks again. I need to eat my lunch for now. Kristy
 

R3

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If you are afraid of her drowning, I would not put a pool up at your house. Why risk her drowning on your own property? Children, can and do, drown in backyard pools, even when they have responsible adults that are supposed to be watching them. It only takes a minute for a child to slip out of sight and get into trouble. With an above ground pool, if a child gets into it, you can't even see them, so that may not be the first place you look for them if they get out of sight. Pools and small children just scare me.

But, if you do decide on getting yourself a pool, be sure you have it safely behind a childproof fence with a locking gate. And, be sure that there are easy ways to get out of the pool. Sometimes a child falls into a pool, and even though they have some swimming ability, they can't get back out easily, and risk drowning because they get tired before someone finds them.

Also, be aware that swimming pools can affect your home-owners insurance and are a huge liability issue if someone else or their child gets hurt, even if they come onto your property without your permission.

Either way, I would definitely get her swimming lesson. That would at least give her some additional degree of safety around the water. If a floatie were to fail, at least she would be able to swim to the edge of the pool and cry for help.

I love to be around a pool in the hot weather, but there is no way I would have a pool of my own, in ground, or above ground, and I don't even have kids at home anymore. The liability issues are just too great.
 

Miniv

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[SIZE=12pt]I have been in your situation and unfortunately, the way custody laws are, there is very little OFFICIALLY you can do. You can talk to Hollee about it and talk to her Dad and the other adults about your concerns about the pool, but you can't DEMAND or force anything
[/SIZE]

Kids do get bruises. I overprotect Mia, because I know her Dad will flip out over every bruise and bump


The leg issue I would DEFINITELY see a doctor about. Did she say how it happened?

Most of the custody laws to a great job of protecting the parents' rights, but do very little for the child...

Marty,

I have been told to my face (actually threatened), by a judge, that what happens during Mia's visitation with her Dad is NONE of my business, NOTHING and I am not to interfere or makes any comments or suggestions. Yet, he can call any time and demand to know where we are, who we are with and what we are doing....sounds fair huh?

**********

I do want to add that things, for the most part, are getting better with Mia's Dad. He's trying and I'm still trying, so it *IS* better.
Laura,

Yes it IS your business. The judge is a SKUNK. If your child was either abused or injured by neglect, you have every right to step in with authority! (Trust me, if a child is ever proved to be abused by one parent without the other parent reporting it, the authorities blame BOTH parents!)

That's one of the reasons why I posted what I said above..........A questionable injury like Kristy's daughter's should be checked by a doctor and documented about where it happened.

Situations like this.........where the rights of a parent are taken away just make me SICK.
 

Marty

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Marty,

I have been told to my face (actually threatened), by a judge, that what happens during Mia's visitation with her Dad is NONE of my business, NOTHING and I am not to interfere or makes any comments or suggestions. Yet, he can call any time and demand to know where we are, who we are with and what we are doing....sounds fair huh?

Isn't that simply incredible that the system we live in allow people to screw around with our babies, allow them to be put in harms way, and allow those that hurt them to just get off scott free?
 

Sonya

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Ouch! There is also some scratches it looks like on her knee too.

I'd get it checked out, just so it is documented.
 

FoRebel

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Ditto to Sonya, I'd still have her leg checked out and document the bruise and injury.
 

Gizzmoe

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I also vote for taking her to the doctor to get it checked, rather then just having the guy at work look. It is better to get it documented then to not. I always worry about someone reporting something to CPS and getting in trouble over something stupid
Kids will be kids but sometimes people think the worse when its not. I have personally seen families have their lives torn up over CPS jumping into situations where it wasn't warranted and not doing anything for the children who need it. Not saying thats the way it always is but its a crazy system either way.
 

Laura

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[SIZE=12pt]I have been in your situation and unfortunately, the way custody laws are, there is very little OFFICIALLY you can do. You can talk to Hollee about it and talk to her Dad and the other adults about your concerns about the pool, but you can't DEMAND or force anything
[/SIZE]

Kids do get bruises. I overprotect Mia, because I know her Dad will flip out over every bruise and bump


The leg issue I would DEFINITELY see a doctor about. Did she say how it happened?

Most of the custody laws to a great job of protecting the parents' rights, but do very little for the child...

Marty,

I have been told to my face (actually threatened), by a judge, that what happens during Mia's visitation with her Dad is NONE of my business, NOTHING and I am not to interfere or makes any comments or suggestions. Yet, he can call any time and demand to know where we are, who we are with and what we are doing....sounds fair huh?

**********

I do want to add that things, for the most part, are getting better with Mia's Dad. He's trying and I'm still trying, so it *IS* better.
[SIZE=12pt]Laura,[/SIZE]

Yes it IS your business. The judge is a SKUNK. If your child was either abused or injured by neglect, you have every right to step in with authority! (Trust me, if a child is ever proved to be abused by one parent without the other parent reporting it, the authorities blame BOTH parents!)

That's one of the reasons why I posted what I said above..........A questionable injury like Kristy's daughter's should be checked by a doctor and documented about where it happened.

Situations like this.........where the rights of a parent are taken away just make me SICK.
I completely agree (both about anything regarding Mia being my business AND about having Hollee's leg checked out), but that's the judge we have and SHE has to agree if we wanted to change judges, which she obviously would not do. The difference in my case and Kristy's is that, although I don't always agree with his choices (although things are SO MUCH BETTER now), I never thought Mia was being abused. If I had, I would have called CPS in a heartbeat!
 

sfmini

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This sounds like a potential abuse case to me, I would get a doctor to document this right away so you don't take the fall. This could change the access your ex has to her which could be a good thing.

If you do get a pool, they make watches that are alarms that go off if the kid goes in the water. If you must get a pool, I agree with the others on fencing, your insurance will insist on it too, but I would use the alarm in addition. There are too many stories on the news of kids drowning in supposedly secured pools. Of course, the alarm would only protect your child, I think there are also motion detector type alarms for the pool itself which would alert you to any kid going in the water.
 

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