Our Forum Youth

[kaykay]

i just wanted to say a couple things as it seems our youth on here are still upset about past posts. A common theme is they are getting flamed because they are YOUNG.

Well let me tell ya it has nothing to do with age

I have been flamed on here many times. Honestly too many to count. For example just remember the thread I had on redoing some of the AMHR ammy progarms

I took a TON of heat for that. Got nasty emails. Certain breeders would no longer talk to me etc. I even had two breeders i was looking at horses to buy who would no longer email me and I suspect it was because of that thread. But thats ok. There are way too many beautiful horses out there for sale to worry about two breeders who dont want to sell to me. It did hurt my feelings because I had met both of these people in person and both post on the forum alot but I had to let it go.

But I dont let it get to me!! I know when i post on such a big public forum that disagreements are going to happen. I do hate when some posts get very personal but thats just life and its going to happen. I just let it slide off my back and move on.

Keep in mind how everyone who is here is here because they are so passionate about our little horses. So tempers are going to flare. And if someone thinks a horse is in danger they are going to let you know NO MATTER WHAT AGE YOU ARE.

I love youth and teens. I love their enthusiasm and energy! I have offerred horses to alot of youth that dont have a horse to show. It is so important that we encourage our youth to move ahead, learn and succeed.

 

[ChrystalPaths]

WELL SAID KAY

 

[Jill]

The dedicated youth are the future of our breed!

Youth are no different than adults, there are all kinds. Well, one difference is that youths usually do get better as they grow while we adults are right much set in our ways

She's no longer a youth but hasn't been that long since she was. It still just floors me the accomplishments Erica Killion has made. Look at all she's done with horses she has created and her hard work!!! And she's also an amazing business woman in my book. I really admire her, but you all probably know this already.

 

[luvmycritters]

Nice topic Kay.

There are a couple of younger people on the forum that I look up to - and one of them just happens to be Nicole ( New Image ). Now this girl has got it all together and then some in my book. Another is Kera " Voodoo " though I dont think Kera is a youth member. You go girls!!

Lori

 

[Jill]

Nice topic Kay. 

There are a couple of younger people on the forum that I look up to - and one of them just happens to be Nicole ( New Image ). Now this girl has got it all together and then some in my book. Another is Kera " Voodoo " though I dont think Kera is a youth member. You go girls!! 

Lori

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I second that!!!

 

[Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis]

I do agree . First off like Kay i have been the target of hate email, flaming, people saying I was a horrible mom and should have my kids taken away.. all cause i have a different belief system them some

yet that is life and actually sadly in MUCH bigger forms a way history continues to repeat itself

But all that aside.. I am still here, still learn and dont let it get to me. It was very upsetting at the time and frankly got a bit scary but hey I have been thru way worse then a few angry coward emailers

I do think that sometimes be it to a youth or a newbie or anyone there are those who are truly convinced there way is the only right way and anyone who doesnt listen to them is a fool but.. i let those answers slide and move on.. many in fact the majority is here to help and to learn and understands what works for them may not work for you but lets you know what works for them in case it can help or make it easier for you.

Gotta learn like i tell my girls.. you have to stand up for you and it doesnt always have to be loudly, strength can come from not only speaking and telling others but some times us adults forget that strength can also come from listening, learning, and admitting not knowing it all isnt a fault.

 

[Marty]

KK you are right, and I do agree, but I also have a different slant on this for your consideration:

When some of these kids get on here, I view them as if I were speaking to my own kids and I do not appreciate anyone lashing out at them for a mistake. If these were my kids getting reemed I would not be very happy about it. Some of these kids are very blunt, don't have their facts straight, and don't know much. They come here for help or to show us something and then get taken down for it, hurt and insulted.

We do not know their situation. We do not know their horse's facilities or their parents views and the way they have been taught things, nor do we know how they have been raised. Just for instance, just suppose a kid came here that has an abusive alcoholic for a parent and just got a whipping for no reason, and he just wanted to talk about his horse. These are things we just do not know, and we as adults have to take things into consideration when speaking to them. Behind these screens are real people.

I did some pretty darn stupid things with my first horse too. When I look back and realize now what I was doing was just so ignorant it makes me crazy. Point being: everyone has to start somewhere and education is the key.

Ok, so say they are doing something wrong, that can hurt the horse or get themselves hurt. The way to deal with it is to explain it as nicely and as matter-of-fact that you can. Not jump down anyone's throats. It's called constructive criticism. You can make your point just as easy as being nice as you can. If the person on the other end then realizes you are on their side and just want to help, they will listen. But a kid will not listen if he feels that he is being attacked. When the kids then lash back, and refuse to take good advice, that is because they are using their defensive mechanism because then, they feel so dumb.

However I have seen much good advise given to some kids (and others) that just fight it and don't take it and then begin to argue back and forth. So don't argue with them. Then there is nothing more you can do, but atleast know that you did try your best.

 

[rabbitsfizz]

Erica- Nicole, Jaimie- they are but three- of course thay did start off with more than their fair share of common sense- which helps!!

I am so sorry, and disillusioned, to hear of people having "hate mail" because of a difference in opinion.

Gosh Kay, you and I have differed over many things, and you Lisa- I would never DREAM of holding such a trivial thing against anyone.

Marty, I have to disagree a little, I am afraid. I would not defend my kids if they were wrong, and I do not think you would either. The thing that gets me a little about some of these posts is they are NOT asking for help, they are asking to be told how clever they are.

This is fine if they are being clever- if one of these youngsters comes on and says how s/he has won at the Fair- no matter if they were the only one in the class, I would hope we would all congratulate them. Great things have grown out of a first blue ribbon!

But when they come on and ask to be told how clever they are because - to choose an example that has not happened- they have harness trained their yearling- NO, I shall not praise them I shall tell them they should not be driving a yearling it will do untold damage. And when they tell me it is fine, the horse loves doing it, I will tell them a little more firmly. Honestly, folks, what else can I do?? Ignore the whole thing because -Hey, they are kids, they are having fun???

It appears we are supposed to have dual standards here, we are supposed to treat them like Adults, but remember they are kids???

 

[Marty]

No Fizz I am not saying to praise a kid for something that they are doing that is just plain wrong and will get them hurt or cause a horse to get hurt or abused. Not at all.

I am saying that there is another way to talk to these kids that just don't get it.

I am saying that there is a way to speak to a kid sensibly and try to get your point across without jumping all over them. That is what bothers me so much. Just explain it. That's all. Explain it to the best of your ability without anyone getting their dander up or yours'. Sure you can be firm, firm is good, but being firm, you can also be careful in not hurting, insulting or getting anyone angry in the process. I'm one of these people that just don't have a very good way with words in explaining myself a lot of the time and I do a whole lot of editing in my posts.

I just wouldn't want anyone screaming at my kids for a mistake when they just don't understand what they have done wrong.

YES! Of course it's very trying and frustrating at times, I agree. And sometimes I do get disgusted when I feel like I am talking to a wall. But then, just sometimes, someone will be able to get their point across and then a little light will suddenly go off inside and then they get it. They understand. That's when you breathe a sigh of relief and thank God that you remained as cool as you did because in the end, it paid off.

As for the hate mail I don't understand why people have to do that to anyone just for voicing their opinion. It serves no purpose and the delete button is so easy to use. That's just plain meaness and I don't understand meanies.

 

[rabbitsfizz]

Marty do not ever let anyone tell you you are bad at explaining things- you make things clearer than anyone I know!!!

 

[kaykay]

i try really hard to be patient with kids and animals

now adults thats another story LOL. i just wanted to post this on its own so it wouldnt be associated with any one post. And to let them know it really has nothing to do with age and how much we appreciate our youth members.

And i know lisa says this all the time too but i learn so much with every horse person i meet. no way do i know even close to everything but im open minded to WANT to keep learning. So no matter what your age is we are all still learning!!!

and like rabbit said her and i and lisa etc have butted heads many times but we are all still forum friends and i love a great debate with lisa! shes changed my mind several times on certain issues. As long as things dont get personal and stay on topic it usually turns out ok

oops one more thing and ill shut up hahaha. i do agree marty that we dont know the story behind ANYONE on the forum. so we should be careful about what we all post and responses. But i will say i am always watchful and careful about people online until i know the true person. And that is ANY AGE. We have all seen times on the forum when people have pretended to be something they werent and it ended in disaster.

 

[lyn_j]

[SIZE=14pt]I would also like to compliment some of our youth that we have watched grow with us. Remember when Jenn was a handful and now she is going to be a mom herself! and Feather, Jessica, Nicole, just to name three that we have had our ups and downs with and look where they are and how mature and responsible they have become. They have proven themselves to us. I know in PMs with Jessica that I was not her favorite person for a while , nor was I her moms, because of some of my bluntness with them..... they have all learned alot! We have some other young ones that are still proving themselves to themselves and us. Things are looking up. Hopefully they will be soon added to the list of responsible, trustworthy capeable young horsewomen.[/SIZE]

Lyn

 

[Ashley]

Yep I agree. I got flamed alot when I was younger(most of which i deserved) and I still do now.

There are so many people in the world, and nobody is always gonna agree. You win some you lose some. Take the wins to heart, cut your losses, learn from them and move on.

 

[Leeana]

I know i've had my fair share of flames. Looking back now, i did in a way diserve it. I'm moving on though and forgiving, i do get angry with some of 'bluntness' at first but i move on and get over it, later on i even am thankful for it. I've learned to think before i speak and am learning more daily.

Hopefully someday i can be added to that list as well ...

Leeana

 

[fourhorses]

The youth are the future. But, I am also an advocate for the horse. The more we are around horses the more we understand that we don't know as much as we think we do!!

As I stated very clearly in a thread started by Leeana this weekend I am in NO position to judge but you are fair game when you post on the internet and when the welfare of the horse(s) is at stake - no matter what your age or experience.

I've been knocked around a few times on this board and I surely don't agree with some as they don't agree with me - such is life.

 

[Jess P]

I agree that Leanna has matured this past week and I am very grateful and proud about that.

I got flamed several times, and I know that people were just trying to help, so now I cherish all advice I receive on this forum. I have learned so much and I actually appreciate the criticism I get because it just makes me work harder.

Jessica

 

[Sonya]

I tend to agree with what Marty said, except I think everyone should use this approach to ALL, not just the youth.

There is no need to jump all over someone...no one will listen to advice when they are getting screemed at, youth or adult, they only get defensive. I think it's best to give constructive critisizm and give advice, not just flame the crap out of people. We are not the mini police here...there are govt agencies for that.

Very few know anyone on this board, nor do they know their situation.

I try not to judge anyone, on this forum or in life, it's a challenge all the time and I have to work at it constantly. I try to treat everyone how I'd like to be treated. That's my goal...and I'm sticking to it!

 

[susanne]

I'm always blown away when I hear that someone would have the audacity to send hate mail through this forum -- especially when it is in response to someone who is simply stating their opinion.

I've only received one -- ages ago -- from he who will remain nameless...you remember the one who threatened to sue for being kicked off the forum. He sent me an email informing that he was going to sue me, too...

Perhaps it's a good thing my mailbox is full most of the time!

All kidding aside, shame on anyone for sending nasty emails!

 

[Wolf]

I have only been on this forum for about a day or two but i have read some pretty bad threads.

I do not think that flaming is really needed most of the time. A simple, peaceful explanation or opinion is all that is needed. I dont care how thick headed the person is or what age, you can call someone some nasty name 75 times over agian but that will not force the person to take the advice you are offering. If you really do have the horse's or the person's best intensions in mind then i would suggest that you state it in a manner in which the person will openly take it into consideration. I have not been in to many forums but have seen some comments on other sites that have just destroyed people.

As for Leeana, i have sort of become her second mother lately but i dont think she gets flamed that bad, she just takes everything to heart and im sure some of it hurts her and others here but looks at her, still here right? To me that is maturity. We even had a talk about it and i understand where she and others are coming from. She seems to really take it to heart and love this forum, i could not take any of what has been said to her and come back every day. She is very mature and if she wasnt like this before (you guys have known her longer then i have) then i am glad she matured. But she and other youth have handled themselves in an adult manner.

I also do not think that it is right to send hate mail. Rudeness is part of the human race, the worst part of it at least.

Kate

 

[~Palomino~]

As a youth I really appreiciate this thread! I am one who understands that the adults here know better than us, and have done it ALOT longer that us (sorry I cant type right now...my hands are froze and are KILLING me) Us youth should use it as a tool in bettering are horsemanship

I know its very embarassing to be put in the spot light, and i know that youth are more defensive then others, its just natural, but we have to relize we are deeling with the pro's!! rather I get flamed (wich I never have been) or not I take what people give to me, and use it! not just say you embarassed me so I dont want it!

I also think we have a handy little button called ''PM'' I think it would be ALOT more appropriate to do it through there, instead of embarassing someone in front of thousands of people!

I can not tell you how much I LOVE this forum, and how much you people teach me (I even learn from the blunt people, trust me, if you take there advice, you can) why get so upset about words is what I wonder?

I like everyone on here, and I LOVE to talk minis with you! I would much rather perfer it to be nice, so lets just keep everything cool, and I think we will all be good! we all have feelings, so let treat others as we would like to be treated! and then we can be that HAPPY FORUM FAMILY!

Thanks so much for starting this Kay!

Gage