lilhorseladie
Well-Known Member
> Cowboy Poetry
>
>
>
> I ain't much for shopping,
> Or for goin' into town
> Except at cattle-shipping time,
> I ain't too easily found.
>
> But the day came when I had to go -
> I left the kids with Ma.
> But 'fore I left, she asked me,
> "Would you pick me up a bra?"
>
> So without thinkin' I said, "Sure,"
> How tough could that job be?
> An' I bent down and kissed her
> An' said, "I'll be back by three."
>
> Well, I done the things I needed,
> But I started to regret
> Ever offering to buy that thing -
> I worked me up a sweat
>
> I walked into the ladies shop
> My hat pulled over my eyes,
> I didn't want to take a chance
> On bein' recognized.
>
> I walked up to the sales clerk -
> I didn't hem or haw -
> I told that lady right straight out,
> "I'm here to buy a bra."
>
> >From behind I heard some snickers,
> So I turned around to see
> Every woman in that store
> Was a'gawkin' right at me!
>
> "What kind would you be looking for?"
> Well, I just scratched my head.
> I'd only seen one kind before,
> "Thought bras was bras," I said.
>
> She gave me a disgusted look,
> "Well sir, that's where you're wrong.
> Follow me," I heard her say,
> Like a dog, I tagged along.
>
> She took me down this alley
> Where bras was on display.
> I thought my jaw would hit the floor
> When I saw that lingerie.
>
> They had all these different styles
> That I'd never seen before
> I thought I'd go plumb crazy
> 'fore I left that women's store.
>
> They had bras you wear for eighteen hours
> And bras that cross your heart.
> There was bras that lift and separate,
> And that was just the start.
>
> They had bras that made you feel
> Like you ain't wearing one at all,
> And bras that you can train in
> When you start off when you're small.
>
> Well, I finally made my mind up -
> Picked a black and lacy one -
> I told the lady, "Bag it up,"
> And figured I was done.
>
> But then she asked me for the size
> I didn't hesitate
> I knew that measurement by heart,
> "A six-and-seven-eighths."
>
> "Six and seven eighths you say?
> That really isn't right."
> "Oh, yes ma'am! I'm real positive -
> I measured them last night!"
>
> I thought that she'd go into shock,
> Musta took her by surprise
> When I told her that my wife's bust
> Was the same as my hat size.
>
> "That's what I used to measure with,
> I figured it was fair,
> But if I'm wrong, I'm sorry ma'am."
> This drew another stare.
>
> By now a crowd had gathered
> And they all was crackin' up
> When the lady asked to see my hat,
> To measure for the cup.
>
> When she finally had it figured,
> I gave the gal her pay.
> Then I turned to leave the store,
> Tipped my hat and said, "Good day."
>
> My wife had heard the story
> 'fore I ever made it home.
> She'd talked to fifteen women
> Who called her on the phone.
>
> She was still a-laughin'
> But by then I didn't care.
> Now she don't ask and I don't shop
> For women's underwear.
>
> ~ Author Unknown
>
>
>
>
> I ain't much for shopping,
> Or for goin' into town
> Except at cattle-shipping time,
> I ain't too easily found.
>
> But the day came when I had to go -
> I left the kids with Ma.
> But 'fore I left, she asked me,
> "Would you pick me up a bra?"
>
> So without thinkin' I said, "Sure,"
> How tough could that job be?
> An' I bent down and kissed her
> An' said, "I'll be back by three."
>
> Well, I done the things I needed,
> But I started to regret
> Ever offering to buy that thing -
> I worked me up a sweat
>
> I walked into the ladies shop
> My hat pulled over my eyes,
> I didn't want to take a chance
> On bein' recognized.
>
> I walked up to the sales clerk -
> I didn't hem or haw -
> I told that lady right straight out,
> "I'm here to buy a bra."
>
> >From behind I heard some snickers,
> So I turned around to see
> Every woman in that store
> Was a'gawkin' right at me!
>
> "What kind would you be looking for?"
> Well, I just scratched my head.
> I'd only seen one kind before,
> "Thought bras was bras," I said.
>
> She gave me a disgusted look,
> "Well sir, that's where you're wrong.
> Follow me," I heard her say,
> Like a dog, I tagged along.
>
> She took me down this alley
> Where bras was on display.
> I thought my jaw would hit the floor
> When I saw that lingerie.
>
> They had all these different styles
> That I'd never seen before
> I thought I'd go plumb crazy
> 'fore I left that women's store.
>
> They had bras you wear for eighteen hours
> And bras that cross your heart.
> There was bras that lift and separate,
> And that was just the start.
>
> They had bras that made you feel
> Like you ain't wearing one at all,
> And bras that you can train in
> When you start off when you're small.
>
> Well, I finally made my mind up -
> Picked a black and lacy one -
> I told the lady, "Bag it up,"
> And figured I was done.
>
> But then she asked me for the size
> I didn't hesitate
> I knew that measurement by heart,
> "A six-and-seven-eighths."
>
> "Six and seven eighths you say?
> That really isn't right."
> "Oh, yes ma'am! I'm real positive -
> I measured them last night!"
>
> I thought that she'd go into shock,
> Musta took her by surprise
> When I told her that my wife's bust
> Was the same as my hat size.
>
> "That's what I used to measure with,
> I figured it was fair,
> But if I'm wrong, I'm sorry ma'am."
> This drew another stare.
>
> By now a crowd had gathered
> And they all was crackin' up
> When the lady asked to see my hat,
> To measure for the cup.
>
> When she finally had it figured,
> I gave the gal her pay.
> Then I turned to leave the store,
> Tipped my hat and said, "Good day."
>
> My wife had heard the story
> 'fore I ever made it home.
> She'd talked to fifteen women
> Who called her on the phone.
>
> She was still a-laughin'
> But by then I didn't care.
> Now she don't ask and I don't shop
> For women's underwear.
>
> ~ Author Unknown
>
