MEN!! If you are one, don't read,,,,

[Frankie]

My ex-husband filed for divorce on Valentines day a year ago,,,the divorce was final this February. Like most, it was not easy.

I have done pretty good with it, doing an ok job of going forward. I'm rather independant, strong willed and do most things myself,,,from fence work, to work on mowers and cars.

So what's he doing? Calling me, asking if I missed him, did he make a mistake? Well I can't answer that, and if he did it was HIS decision to make that mistake, not mine. I think it's head games and I hate it. I have asked him to stop calling,,,so why does he still call??!!

I see it's him, if I don't pick up he keeps calling,,,might as well get it over with. Don't ask me how Christopher is, if you really wanted to know you would of tried to see him over the past 19 months.

Men, geeze.

How I really feel is, if we really need them to produce,,,we let them all live together in an under ground city and let them out only once a year,,,we'd all be happier.

 

[TheCaseFamily00]

I really wish you happiness,you seem like a great person who deserves alot better

.

 

[AppyLover2]

Sounds to me like he's found out the grass isn't necessarily greener and he's realizing that maybe he didn't make such a good decision. Kudos to you for adjusting and moving forward. It isn't easy but it can be done. Don't let him play mind games with you. Mine played terrible mind games with me and I was dumb enough to believe them for way too long....it makes things so much harder. Just let him know as far as you're concerned it's one of the best decisions he ever made (whether you really believe it or not).

 

[Miniv]

He's either sorry and grovelling (which is unlikely or he'd be trying to be a good dad too)..........or he's doing the passive aggressive thing........which is a controlling trick.

Going forward in your life......figuring out how to do things without a male under the roof sounds healthy to me.

Eventually you will meet another male you can really like, and not NEED.

 

[miniwhinny74]

Tell him YES, he made a mistake and NO you don't miss him--then tell him he already burnt down that bridge and there's no going back. Then the next time he calls, simply pick the phone up and gently set it down again (so you don't have to listen to it ring!) and if you run into him, avoid him... and if you can't avoid him, ignore him. If he persists, be polite but very cold, and let him know in no uncertain terms that you are absolutely done with him.

You didn't deserve what happened to you since HE decided to head for "greener" pastures. You moved on (and quite admirably it seems) and no longer need him. If he's just now realizing what he lost...well, that's HIS problem, not yours. You deserve better, and that better person is out there somewhere.

Best of Luck!

 

[Marty]

Betcha he's not getting any...........

You are doing fantastic without him! By the way a huge congrats on Phanthom!

 

[krissy3]

Id like to reserve a place for my hubby in the "under ground man world"... you are doing just fine , be strong , and keep movin .... dont look back now girlfriend. As soon as he finds someone to take care of him , he will stop the calls... you may have to get a cell phone and stop answering your home line. Filing on Valentines day...boy he is a game player...and thats just what he is doing now...playin his game with you.. Its not easy, sounds like you are very strong... good for you.

 

[SHANA]

Change your phone number so he can't phone and have it unlisted.

Hope he stops bothering you.

 

[sfmini]

If he is calling your cell phone, just assign a silent ringtone to his number and give him an entertaining name. I had this caller, I think from Somalia that would call at all hours of the night and babble about something. I wasn't able to block just one number so I did that. Then when he called, no sound, but I could see that butt was calling. He eventually stopped, guess he finally figured out he had the wrong number.

Threaten legal action if he doesn't stop calling you. If your son has a cell, this would be easier, you might be able to just block him or change the number without blocking any access (not that there is any) to your son. Your lawyer might be able to help you on that one.

Mistake? Maybe he made one for himself, but not for you.

 

[ChrystalPaths]

I absolutely love the dark dwelling placw for the bad men, yup. Caro..you earned your freedom with blood, sweat, and tears...keep it. Don't discuss it with him, tell him you have a life and suggest he get one as well. Moving on.....

 

[Riverdance]

I have been married twice and divorced twice (my choice). I will not even date anymore as I have decided I am not too fond of men. If I could have one in the closet to take out when I needed some manual chores done and then put them back, I would have a man around again, but otherwise........

How did I become a "man hater" . The two lousy, self absorbed, egotistical, their way or the highway, verbally abusive, Narcissistic, brainless idiots I married. (not too bitter about men am I

) I see my girl friends in similar marriages who are so unhappy, but too afraid to try to live on their own.

For those of you seeing themselves in this situation.... you only live once, have one life to do some of the things you always wanted to do, but were unable because of "him". Go for it. It takes about 2 to 3 years to get used to being on your own, but boy am I sooooooooooooooooooo much happier. I can not imagine ever being married again.

Are there some great men out there? You bet there are, those of you that have one, hang on for dear life as they are the rare ones.

Men reading this, think about how you treat woman, are they your equals, do you try and share their interestes too? Are you supportive in what they enjoy? Do you help around the house and do not feel that it is "womans work"? If not, perhaps you too might want to think twice before you end up alone. (seems men have a much harder time being alone)

Seems like you are much better off without him. Just stop answereing the phone when he calls, at first it will be hard, as he will call all of the time, but eventually he will get the message and stop calling. If he does not, contact the police department and the court system. They will be more than happy to give him the message.

OK, I will get off the high horse.... I had my man hate speach for the day.

 

[Southern Belle Farm]

I saw an episode of The twilight zone or The outer limits a long time ago where this guy wakes up and finds a world full of women but no men. Turns out all the men were frozen and when it was time to bring more kids into the world one was unfrozen, did his job and was refrozen! I wonder if that's possible..........

 

[Annabellarose]

I saw an episode of The twilight zone or The outer limits a long time ago where this guy wakes up and finds a world full of women but no men. Turns out all the men were frozen and when it was time to bring more kids into the world one was unfrozen, did his job and was refrozen! I wonder if that's possible..........

Yes, we call it a sperm bank.

 

[Hosscrazy]

Riverdance - you have some very powerful statements in your post...all good things to think about, for everyone...

Liz R.

 

[Frankie]

If nothing else, I knew you'd be right, and make me giggle.

I have gone forward and I do every day. The way I do that is each and every day I make myself or something around me better. Today it's the barn, going out to power wash the inside. If you want today better, YOU have to do something to make it happen!

I have an on going list, mark off one thing, add two. Tomorrow, my Grandsons Birthday,,Sunday fall clean up in the yard,,Monday a hair appointment. All small, but makes something around me better. So my tomorrow gets better, every day!

Thank you!

 

[LindaL]

How I really feel is, if we really need them to produce,,,we let them all live together in an under ground city and let them out only once a year,,,we'd all be happier.

(No, I'm not a man hater...I love gay men! LOL!

)

 

[miniwhinny]

Men reading this, think about how you treat woman, are they your equals, do you try and share their interestes too? Are you supportive in what they enjoy? Do you help around the house and do not feel that it is "womans work"?

It WON'T happen !!!! When I came here from Europe I was HORRIFIED at how the men treated the women here...it was like the middle ages

Men in Europe don't treat women this way. Then as I got to know people I realized it's because this country is so religious (well "was" things are slowly changing) I have christian friends who follow what the bible says about women and raise their sons/daughters in that manner...that men are better than women and women have to serve the men. HAHAHA my mouth drops when they talk that way but they said it's in the bible and it's how god wants them to be. Oh and of course...lets not forget the men who wrote the bible blame all sin on we women

Until women wake up and smell the roses and stop this nonsense then they will continue to be second class citizens in the majority of American homes. What's sad is they are doing it to themselves.

Oh and there ARE AWESOME men out there...I have THREE

What the Bible says about Women's Rights

Genesis 3:16

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

1 Corinthians 11:3

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man.

1 Corinthians 14:34-36

Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

Ephesians 5:22-24

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Colossians 3:18

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.

1 Timothy 2:11-15

Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing.

1 Peter 3:1

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands.

 

[BigDogs & LittleHorses]

Oh, c'mon... bad people come in both sexes, just listen to Dr. Laura. Maybe there ARE more men than women, I dunno.

I always listen to Dr. Laura when I am feeling down and then feel much more content afterward that I am not in a bad relationship and don't have bratty kids!

So much male hate here, no wonder there are so many geldings in the horse world!

Daryl

 

[susanne]

People of both sexes tend to live up to our expectations, for good or for bad. If we believe that all men are jerks, then that's what we find.

Too many women think that the truly nice guys are wimps, or consider them "just friends"...then they jump the bones of the macho he-men jerks.

Just as many men look for the prototypical madonna-whore type, ignoring the "pal" who is truly the better mate.

I married my best friend 20 years ago this past Sept 10 and he and I are still having a blast!

So, Carolyn, go out and make some friends!

 

[PrestigeMiniHorses]

I would like to say I am all for this dark man cave somewhere on earth..HAHA. I think my hubby would like it there too much though... He is a pain. I sure wish knew how to treat me.. We sure have our spiffs thats for sure... But I am much happier with him than I ever was with Josh....So I guess its not that bad