Just wondering how you respond to people, you hear,

[Frankie]

You may or may not have noticed I have not been on much these days.

Why??? Guilt.

I heard some people talking about the forum, or, about the people who post here, and what they post about. They were getting a pretty good laugh about it. I guess they have no memory when it comes to the day they started in horses. They probably have known it all since the first horse hit their barn. Why do folks forget so soon? Why not instead of lurking and getting their jollies for the day, post and offer some suggestions, or answer those asking for help. Give us some of your years of experience.

And do they not care who is listening? Who they are hurting? And on the other end of this thread is a person doing the best they can? Who come here to LEARN for their horse.

Well, when I heard the things they were saying,,,,,,heard first hand,,,,,,,,,,I didn't do anything, or say anything, just walked away, that is not like me, and for that I am so sorry.

If you heard someone doing the same,,,,,,,,,,,,what would you do???

 

[Critter]

You may or may not have noticed I have not been on much these days.

Why??? Guilt.

I heard some people talking about the forum, or, about the people who post here, and what they post about. They were getting a pretty good laugh about it. I guess they have no memory when it comes to the day they started in horses. They probably have known it all since the first horse hit their barn. Why do folks forget so soon? Why not instead of lurking and getting their jollies for the day, post and offer some suggestions, or answer those asking for help. Give us some of your years of experience.

And do they not care who is listening? Who they are hurting? And on the other end of this thread is a person doing the best they can? Who come here to LEARN for their horse.

Well, when I heard the things they were saying,,,,,,heard first hand,,,,,,,,,,I didn't do anything, or say anything, just walked away, that is not like me, and for that I am so sorry.

If you heard someone doing the same,,,,,,,,,,,,what would you do???

I would say do they just want us to all go away and then there would not be any forum? Or it would be a very boring one. Us newbies make it interesting and I do learn alot, even at the expense of a laugh.

 

[nootka]

Depends on the situation. More than likely, if it is mean spirited and unwarranted, I get a bad opinion of the person running their mouth.

I would just go with that opinion and ignore it as they are not offering anything I care about though I would probably not buy or do business with these people nor give their ideas much credence in future communications.

Obviously, they see a bit of themselves in the post and they are uncomfortable "looking in the mirror" so to speak. We've all been there (asking or saying dumb things) and probably will be again in one way or another.

For example, I guess I know a bit about some aspects of horses/Miniature horses, but I am pretty much out of my element in the performance aspects as well as much of the training, so I would imagine I say some pretty stupid seeming or basically "wrong" things, but if someone like that is going to make fun of me, let 'em have at it. It might hurt my feelings if I found out about it, but chances are I would just move on and keep enjoying myself anyway.

Liz M.

 

[rabbitsfizz]

Carolyn, if I were a member of the group that had been doing the talking then Yes, I would have spoken up, and I am sure you would have done too, but I do see your dilemma.

If you butt into this sort of bitch fest you are going to get nothing but trouble.

If you are better at thinking on your feet than am i, and could think of a snappy riposte that would allow you to deliver it and then walk smartly away, then again I think we both would deliver it.

But I would just lose it, say something rude, get involved in an argument- now what does that say about the people who frequent the Forum??

Nothing good, that's for sure.

PLEASE do not beat yourself up over this- I think you probably acted as a lot of us would, and possibly, in my case at least, this would be the wisest course of action.

:

After all, as a founder member of the Foot in Mouth Club, we are hardly an endangered species!!

:

 

[MBennettp]

I know I would say something, probably not something nice though. The people who think it is a joke should be thankful that the ones asking the questions really want to learn. All of us have asked something stupid of someone somewhere and they should remember that they also have asked something dumb at some point in their lives. They should think about how they would feel if someone made fun of them like that.

What goes around, comes around. I would hate to be waiting to see what was going to happen to even things out if I were them.

This forum is fantastic and I think everybody has something to teach someone. I would hate to think that anybody would be afraid to ask a question, that is how we learn. If some of the questions bother them, they should skip the topic or don't reply.

Mary

 

[jdhand]

I would tell them that there is lots to be talked about. I have had minis for 5 years and have been showing for 3. I have learned from others while showing and since I have been on the forum the past few weeks I have learned lots. If someone was making fun I would tell them don't knock it till you try it. Yesterday I posted about a sick filly and received very helpful information that I believe saved the fillies life. Just enjoy the forum and don't worry what others think.

 

[nootka]

What sums it up for me is:

"Consider the source."

Someone like that is just portraying themselves as an ignoramus. There is NO SHAME in asking for information or help or input. At least I don't think so.

Liz

 

[susanne]

The only stupid question is the one that isn't asked...

Some people are simply small and nasty and don't merit the energy it takes to respond. Sounds like this person has a hair up their **** and is a basically miserable person.

I used to feel as if I needed to answer stupid comments such as this, but I've learned in cases like this, I feel better if I just let it go.

 

[Loess Hills]

Sometimes you have to be the "Adult" and suck it up. Not let other people's comments and bickering be hurtful to you.

No one knows everything about horses. You can choose to post or not to post, but one thing I've learned is that I don't control what other people think or say. It's my choice to pick and choose the topics that are of interest to me, and ignore those that are not. Sometimes there is useful information, sometimes there's just one person's emotional response. All valuable in certain circumstances. If someone wants to air their "emotional laundry", that is their choice, but they might get both negative and positive responses back.

Try to remember that we can choose to act like adults, not kids pointing fingers on the playground.

 

[Levonsa]

I would have done as you did and walk away. You couldn't win an arguement with them and they will probably never see the full benefiet of the site.

To me, they are like the smarty pants kids in elementary school that make fun of the others for asking questions. By the end of senior year, they are the dumb ones, becuase they didn''t listen to all the questions and answers, nor ask questions of their own. They and their horses will have to kearn the hard way, unfortunately.

 

[Wally]

I am a Moderator on one forum, and post on one or two others. One, I lurk on and only add things occasionally, but my business partner posts on it. Usually fun, lightsome subjects like the snow at the moment, nothing heavyweight. Maybe the odd answer to someone's questions. There are a lot of lurkers on that particular site, they seem to go there and watch just so they can have a jolly good snipe behind the scenes.

I was on the phone to a friend the other day, she told me that two council members of our Society were discussing things and my business partner's name came up. One said to the other "Oh I know her, she posts on........ ........", made a snap decision on what she was like and I was gobsmacked. How dare they decide they know somebody well through a few posts on a website, then bad mouth them in public! :no: :no:

I have had Small horses for donkey's years, I will NEVER stop learning, the day I do will be a sad day. The only dumb question is the one which isn't asked.

 

[rabbitsfizz]

. The only dumb question is the one which isn't asked.

:aktion033: :aktion033: :aktion033: :aktion033: :aktion033:

We need to adopt this as a Forum Motto!!!!!

 

[ibquackers20]

I myself has had many helping me on this forum and I do ask for more than one opinion on things - everyone has what works for them and what does not. I use to have a good friend that I did purchase 2 minis from and on an old post they were hit by a car plus another I bought from someone else and all this X friend did was put the forum down saying they know nothing and her word was right (she never used a computer before or owns one )and was not raised with horses - she learned everything from T.V

She did help me a bit with hands on but since my minis death she now blames me for it and says my place is unsafe for any animal and that it was my fault for someone opening up the gate and letting them out late/early morning. And that she wished she never sold me any minis. Well all I can say is all her horses and minis are wild and have never been haultered or trained with a leed rope.At least I did stuff with my minis (leeding/driving/hooves /and spent much time with them)they were so gentle around me and my kids.

She use to say that when she saw horses in a corral not having anything done that it was a shame - she forgot to look into a mirror (she does deworm and all hers are a night mare for a farrier,plus the yearly shots and the occasional scratch here and there)I guess what I am trying to say is all those using this forum keep up the great work - and as for my X friend well she needs to grow up and seek help. I did not kill my minis and my place is safe (be it by a highway)but no one in my home opened the gate up and let them out)

This Forum is the greatest and so are the people that help with all their great ideas and experience. Hats off to you all ....

 

[HGFarm]

Not all the people on this forum are beginners either and enjoy chatting with others about, what else, our favorite subject!! I too would probably just consider the source and their closed minded outlook on things and move on

 

[capall beag]

Oh Susanne your answer is funny and smart!!

You are so right!!

 

[Wally]

There is a very well known carriage driver here in the UK, he does films and stuff and has a HUGE mail coach. What he don't know about driving and coaching isn't worth knowing .......... anyway, his take on the subject of beginners, and kids learning stuff is, they are the future, it is up to those who know to spread their knowledge as far as they can and encourage newcomers and beginners and sew your passion for a subject into them. Encourage the questions, the more the better and NEVER make anyone think the question was a dumb one.

He must get asked the same questions 10 times a week, but he is patient and answeres everyone.

I do get cross with snotty folk who think they know it all and are rude to those who ask a simple question.

 

[FFFoxyGal]

Thank you to all you wonderful people on here,....

coming from me,..one of the stupids on this forum,.....all of your wonderful comments have really touched my heart,...NO,..I mean it!!

For years,..all my questions,.....and Trying different things and failing most of them,....I really do know first hand on what it is like to be laughed at!!

I am not just talking about puter land either!

Soo,..When people like you guys,....stand up for the dumb ones like me!!

I applaud you guys,...It is YOU who are TRUE FRIENDS!!!!!!!

I am crying as I write this,....because it hits home very well,...(((((((sweet hugs))))) To all of you on here who have cheered my(and others like me) day a little.

:

 

[Buckskin gal]

Hi Carolyn, I too have heard of people who think this forum is very entertaining and get their laughs from reading it. I chalk it up to having too much time on their hands to do anything better. Some of it may be just sick personalities who feel better about themselves if they can laugh at another person. Sure there is plenty of the same o, same o, on here, like how much beet pulp to use and do I use flax seed or Boss etc. etc. and there will always be those who post just for attention, and maybe out of boredom. What is important to remember is, what ever we don't like we can ignore. I like all the good which this forum has to offer. It would be wondeful to hear from some of the lurkers who have years of experience in minis, but many won't share their experience and maybe they have good reason not to. Those who do come on just to find fault with others and be entertained probably can't find something better to do...such as grooming their horses or training them. I know it takes all kinds of people for the world to go around but I do feel sorry for people who have nothing better to do than laugh at those who are truly wanting to learn. No need to feel guilty, you didn't do anything wrong. , Mary

You may or may not have noticed I have not been on much these days.

Why??? Guilt.

I heard some people talking about the forum, or, about the people who post here, and what they post about. They were getting a pretty good laugh about it. I guess they have no memory when it comes to the day they started in horses. They probably have known it all since the first horse hit their barn. Why do folks forget so soon? Why not instead of lurking and getting their jollies for the day, post and offer some suggestions, or answer those asking for help. Give us some of your years of experience.

And do they not care who is listening? Who they are hurting? And on the other end of this thread is a person doing the best they can? Who come here to LEARN for their horse.

Well, when I heard the things they were saying,,,,,,heard first hand,,,,,,,,,,I didn't do anything, or say anything, just walked away, that is not like me, and for that I am so sorry.

If you heard someone doing the same,,,,,,,,,,,,what would you do???

 

[schutzandwhinnies]

This conflict is I think one of the oldest in the book. It is in every circle of every community known to man. The answer is maturity and compassion and not all folks experience this luxury early in life, some will never know it ever. This is the hardest type of person to prepare your kids for as well. I tell my kids that when they encounter a person who cannot let others grow (have their mistakes and learn from them) that they must remember to try and be an expample to show that person what advantages there are to helping others and understanding someone elses mistakes and failers. The person that doesn't understand is the person that sometimes needs the most understanding from people who do. They will eventually catch up and feel bad about the way they had treated others or they will fall into the catigory of the ones that will just never change and those are the ones that I truly feel sorry for as they will never know what it is to feel how wonderful it is to help others. Soooooooooo Frankie, one way you can be true to yourself and be an example is what you are already doing which is not participating in the negitive action. Then to help yourself feel like you are following your own heart, you could PM the person that has just gotton flamed, sassed, or laughed at unsportingly and not bash the rude people, but just offer kind words of encouragement and refocus that poor person and help them to smile again. Even our negative experiences can be taken advantage of and used as a tool of learning. Usually they are the hard ones, but also the most important ones. Good luck and know that a lot of us "Newbies" might be new to horses, but are pro's at life in general, have tough skins, and are very respected in other areas of our lives, so the little miss know it all's out in the world shouldn't cause to much damage, they are just another learning experience for those of us who "Got it going on" Hee Hee Have a great week Frankie and all those other member out there who "Got it going on" Amy

 

[bevann]

Maybe some of these people are what I call"TWENTY MINUTE WONDERS". They forget that they were beginners once and now know everything there is to know about horses, especially Minis.I just sit back and chuckle.I've been in Mins almost 20 years and horses most of my 66 years and I am still learning lots.When you stop learning&asking questions, you might as well be dead, because all you are doing is taking up space on a planet that is becoming crowded.