In keeping with the save money thread

[horsefeather]

The saving money thread was very interesting and informative, thank you for it. I didn't want to 'steal' her thread, so thought I would start this one. Last Christmas my daughter and her husband were really, really low on money. So for Christmas, she was able to buy us lots of presents by shopping at the dollar store. She got us toilet paper, paper towels, washing soap, cleaning supplies, well, you get the idea. I don't know why I hadn't thought of that before. It was things that we use all the time and we were happy to get them. Soooo, this year the tables have turned and we just don't have the extra money to spend.....guess what they are getting for Christmas?????

I went to our dollar store (NOTHING over $1) and spent $60 dollars, I have 60 presents to give.

And, I know that's not what Christmas is about, but it's fun to watch people open presents, and especially if it's something you KNOW they are going to use!

Pam

 

[NoddalottaFarm]

Two years ago, my husband and I decided there was nothing more we really wanted, (other than the bills paid) so we stopped giving presents for Christmas. We exchange a small stocking full of "needed items", much like your daughter, and that is all. It saves us money, and the stress and worry of having to figure out what the other wanted. It also cut down on the amount of "stuff" we have. I also fix a small stocking for my mom, and fill it with free samples I have collected over the past year. She gets travel sized bottles of shampoo, soap, lotion, you get the idea. It costs me Zero to fill. I'm all for the dollar store items too.

I like to get my wrapping paper from the Dollar Tree (our dollar store) because I can get a roll of paper for $1.00, and its the same Disney, Roudolph, Frosty, Nemo paper that you spend $4.00 on at other stores! Thanks for sharing your ideas!

 

[Sonya]

My husband and I were just talking about this last night. I think it is ridiculous the amount of money we spend on Christmas. Mostly it's his family, his Mom spends tons of money on us and we are in our 40's now, I wish she would stop...and of course I feel obligated to spend on them as well. I feel guilty if they spend all this money on us and I don't do the same, his sisters the same thing, they are in their 30's now and (still live at home) but they spend a ridiculous amount of money on us. It's not what Christmas is about at all and I would rather take that money and give to a family who needs it for their young children. We are all adults now and if we want/need something we are all capable of buying it for ourselves. I have approached the subject with his Mother before. Last year they were in financial difficulty due to his father being ill. I told her I want to put a limit on Christmas gifts, she said fine. I put the limit at $40/person, she agreed...well I bet she spent at least $100 on each of us (which is less than usual).

So here I am, no children, spending $1500-2000/year on Christmas gifts for ADULT family members (my husband and I don't even buy for each other anymore, if we want something, we go get it). When I told my husband I was only spending $50/person this year, he said, you better spend more you know they will, I said that's up to them. It's ridiculous, It's not that we can't afford it (we are financial in better shape then all of them), but I'd rather do something else with the $....be it put it towards the mortgage/car payments or bank it...or give it to someone who really needs it. I'm really bummed about it, especially since I hate to shop, it is making me not like Christmas at all. I think our family needs a wakeup call about what Christmas really is!

 

[~Lisa~]

I really cut back over the years with Christmas. I just do not have extra money as I still have bills- house payment- car insurance ect. I do buy for my brothers son but nothing for them (they have more then enough money and nothing I can buy them they will really use anyway) Same with my parents they are all financailly well off I am the only one who isn't ... (hmm also the only one with horses wonder if that is why LOL)

So there is nothing I can buy them that they truly need although my Mom has a cow if I do not get her anything so I get her something reasonable and then just buy for my daughters. Even then it is nothing extravagant

I do alot of shopping thru out the year at Dollar stores. I do not like the cleaning products but get shampoo for myself and the horses, deoderant - toothpaste (name brand)

stuff like that.

I think it is crazy that many put themselves in debt or spend so much money on Christmas presents that most do not need

 

[TheCaseFamily00]

We are really cutting back this year along with the family. I was thinking of getting a card for my parents with a note for a free house cleaning from me. They're my neighbors also and time to time i'll surprise them by cleaning and they love it. I have a younger sister who has a 1 year old son and her and her hubby don't go out much . I thought about a card with a note for me to babysit so they could go on a date.

 

[LittleRibbie]

Sonya, I feel your frustration as I have family members that do the same as yours. Its so frustrating. I just put my foot down several yrs. ago and still do. My husband and I havent exchanged gifts for a long time.

Growing up my mother hated Christmas,...she loved the cooking, decorating, family stuff but hated the fact that so many gifts had to be bought and opened all at once. Even as a youngster I can remember my friends and even cousins getting huge piles of gifts and I was always abit embarrased b/c we got usually 2 outfits ( pajamas was always one that she considered an outfit)1 small toy, for me it was a Breyer horse and we of course got a Christmas stocking. We still had lots of gifts to open b/c we did exchange gifts with aunts, uncles and cousins. No email back then so the day after Christmas Mom would sit all 5 kids at the dining table and have us write thank you notes. Lord forbid if we forgot what someone gave us...this would take all afternoon. That night we all had to go thru toy boxes and find toys that we no longer played with and drop them off at homeless shelter. Then she, my older brother, sister and myself had to go to the nursing home and help the patients write letters to their families/friends. It was not fun but it was what we did. But even though we never got too many gifts for Christmas on the 25th......We had a "Monthly Christmas Day"

The 1st of every month she would put a day for that month on a card at breakfast......we all knew that on that day we would get 1 small gift, have a little Christmas dinner ( usually something silly we all liked...spaghetti)...she put up the little table top tree,Christmas Carols and we all knew that if we wanted to buy a little something for our brother or sister we just spent alittle from our allowence for maybe a small gift All my friends were so jealous b/c we had a monthly Christmas...small as it was...it was so fun.I still to this day prefer to send small little gifts thru out the yr. to family or friends and really couldnt care less about the actual giving gifts at Christmas. If we had children it might be different b/c then...its all about them, but now even my nieces and nephews are getting older so just spending time at home with the animals is a perfect way to spend the holidays.

I love the idea of the gift card for babysitting or house cleaning or just cooking my family a dinner some night. On that note....Merry Christmas Ya'll...but dont expect any gifts from me for Christmas.....but maybe...when you least expect it....

 

[Ashley]

My husband and I were just talking about this last night. I think it is ridiculous the amount of money we spend on Christmas. Mostly it's his family, his Mom spends tons of money on us and we are in our 40's now, I wish she would stop...and of course I feel obligated to spend on them as well. I feel guilty if they spend all this money on us and I don't do the same, his sisters the same thing, they are in their 30's now and (still live at home) but they spend a ridiculous amount of money on us. It's not what Christmas is about at all and I would rather take that money and give to a family who needs it for their young children. We are all adults now and if we want/need something we are all capable of buying it for ourselves. I have approached the subject with his Mother before. Last year they were in financial difficulty due to his father being ill. I told her I want to put a limit on Christmas gifts, she said fine. I put the limit at $40/person, she agreed...well I bet she spent at least $100 on each of us (which is less than usual).

So here I am, no children, spending $1500-2000/year on Christmas gifts for ADULT family members (my husband and I don't even buy for each other anymore, if we want something, we go get it). When I told my husband I was only spending $50/person this year, he said, you better spend more you know they will, I said that's up to them. It's ridiculous, It's not that we can't afford it (we are financial in better shape then all of them), but I'd rather do something else with the $....be it put it towards the mortgage/car payments or bank it...or give it to someone who really needs it. I'm really bummed about it, especially since I hate to shop, it is making me not like Christmas at all. I think our family needs a wakeup call about what Christmas really is!

In this case would make a letter for each of them telling them how you feel about the situation and what xmas really means. Then I would end it by saying " so this year we decided to take the money and adopt a needy family for xmas".

 

[Bess Kelly]

A few years back I talked with my kids and mentioned that this "trading money" just wasn't needed!! Since the economy had fallen so low, and we are all getting more and MORE mature

last year I finally took the bull by the horns and announced that I would buy for NO ONE except the two grand/gr grand children and that I wanted NO one to buy differently. Hmmmm

My mom, at 85, was feeling this might not be good -- I mean, lotta years gone by and we always bought, shopped, bought, etc. Last year I told her to not embarass us, as we had all agreed and "our" gift would be a wonderful family dinner TOGETHER, at the table, with lots of time and talking. You know what, it was great...GREAT!!

I set the table with linens and china (which I almost never used anymore!)...a nice centerpiece, an early to mid-afternoon meal with everyone's favorite dish. Had gotten most food on sale over past couple months, or from the garden and frozen, etc. Wasn't a huge expense but a huge enjoyment. Everyone left full and happy.

This year -- NO arguments from mom, she is now in agreement. In fact, the money saved, time and stress saved, and the good time at a relaxed dinner made it tremendously enjoyable. We need to do more of this. Besides, I have everything I need......OK, I would take one of those notes to clean my house for me

 

[Sonya]

In this case would make a letter for each of them telling them how you feel about the situation and what xmas really means. Then I would end it by saying " so this year we decided to take the money and adopt a needy family for xmas".

That's a great idea Ashley, but I doubt my husband would go for it. We do help others at Christmas, but I (and they) could certainly do more if I wasn't "trading money" as Bess Kelly put it, which is exactly what we are doing. I do think my mother in law and his sisters do charge alot of this crap too, crap we don't need.

I think the fact that we live in a different state from all of our family, she (mother in law) feels obligated or something, like we need this to feel loved because we are all alone up here...what both our families don't realize is we choose to be in a different state than them, it's kind of a break the cycle of dysfunctionality thing that my husband and I decided 13 years ago, we love them all and miss them terribly but certainly don't want to live by them. I know that may sound terrible, but it's good for us.

I will just spend what I had decided and if they spend way more, that's up to them I guess. I do like giving gifts, but I just don't really like recieving them.

 

[TheCaseFamily00]

Bess,if you move to my town i'd come clean for you

. Moms birthday is this Wednesday i'll probably suprise her for it.She lives next door so it's easy.

 

[disneyhorse]

Sonya, I feel your frustration as I have family members that do the same as yours. Its so frustrating. I just put my foot down several yrs. ago and still do. My husband and I havent exchanged gifts for a long time.

Growing up my mother hated Christmas,...she loved the cooking, decorating, family stuff but hated the fact that so many gifts had to be bought and opened all at once. Even as a youngster I can remember my friends and even cousins getting huge piles of gifts and I was always abit embarrased b/c we got usually 2 outfits ( pajamas was always one that she considered an outfit)1 small toy, for me it was a Breyer horse and we of course got a Christmas stocking. We still had lots of gifts to open b/c we did exchange gifts with aunts, uncles and cousins. No email back then so the day after Christmas Mom would sit all 5 kids at the dining table and have us write thank you notes. Lord forbid if we forgot what someone gave us...this would take all afternoon. That night we all had to go thru toy boxes and find toys that we no longer played with and drop them off at homeless shelter. Then she, my older brother, sister and myself had to go to the nursing home and help the patients write letters to their families/friends. It was not fun but it was what we did. But even though we never got too many gifts for Christmas on the 25th......We had a "Monthly Christmas Day"

The 1st of every month she would put a day for that month on a card at breakfast......we all knew that on that day we would get 1 small gift, have a little Christmas dinner ( usually something silly we all liked...spaghetti)...she put up the little table top tree,Christmas Carols and we all knew that if we wanted to buy a little something for our brother or sister we just spent alittle from our allowence for maybe a small gift All my friends were so jealous b/c we had a monthly Christmas...small as it was...it was so fun.I still to this day prefer to send small little gifts thru out the yr. to family or friends and really couldnt care less about the actual giving gifts at Christmas. If we had children it might be different b/c then...its all about them, but now even my nieces and nephews are getting older so just spending time at home with the animals is a perfect way to spend the holidays.

I love the idea of the gift card for babysitting or house cleaning or just cooking my family a dinner some night. On that note....Merry Christmas Ya'll...but dont expect any gifts from me for Christmas.....but maybe...when you least expect it....

I guess it's a matter of perspective! That childhood Christmas sounds GREAT to me! I would love to just get a Breyer horse and some pajamas (that's pretty much what I got!)

I also used to spend the day after Christmas with my sister writing Thank You notes to everyone who gave me a gift, with specifics as to what I got and why I was thankful for it. It is a very important social habit to learn, and I STILL write Thank Yous the day after Christmas to my family.

And then, to donate old toys to those in need, and time to those in nursing homes, is WONDERFUL! I am a big one to go through my stuff and determine what I'm actually using regularly, and donating what I do not use, to those in need year-round.

I guess it just depends on what your interpretation of "fun" is. That sounds like an ideal Christmas to me!

Andrea

 

[CharlesFamily]

We have never spent a lot on Christmas - still too much - but in comparison to many families I know, we are very moderate. When our oldest daughter was a baby, I saw an article in the paper. It was about a family who limited the number of gifts by buying for family members according to this rhyme:

Something you want,

Something you need,

Something to wear,

Something to read.

We decided to adopt this in our family and this is what our girls have always known. They also get to ask "Santa" for three presents, or in the case of my oldest daughter, she asked Santa for one big present that she wanted which was an iPod touch. I love that our girls don't expect gobs of presents and most of the time, their favorite present is the books they receive! It really helps when we are shopping and keeps us from going overboard.

Barbara

 

[chandab]

We have never spent a lot on Christmas - still too much - but in comparison to many families I know, we are very moderate. When our oldest daughter was a baby, I saw an article in the paper. It was about a family who limited the number of gifts by buying for family members according to this rhyme:

Something you want,

Something you need,

Something to wear,

Something to read.

We decided to adopt this in our family and this is what our girls have always known. They also get to ask "Santa" for three presents, or in the case of my oldest daughter, she asked Santa for one big present that she wanted which was an iPod touch. I love that our girls don't expect gobs of presents and most of the time, their favorite present is the books they receive! It really helps when we are shopping and keeps us from going overboard.

Barbara

I really like this idea and the rhyme. Thank you for sharing.

 

[Sterling]

I hate Christmas shopping and for many years in the past it was always dreadful to think about the Christmas rush and what to get for who etc...etc... I love it that we've come full circle and are taking the old fashioned approached for a few years now. We make gifts to give and the emphasis around the holidays for us is getting together with family and friends and a wonderful meal.