I'm still mad this morning!

[whiskeyranch]

My daughter has (had) a best friend. These two have been really close for 2 years, went on vacations together, everything. I've dealt with this girl over some very serious issues. She is like one of our family.

I've noticed that this girl has been going downhill all year, grades, not going to work this summer, attitude, and some other issues I won't discuss, but my daughter hasn't seen it.

Yesterday, I pick up my daughter to take her to turn in her application for the melon shed, and she tells me that this girl, tells her other friend to tell her she is a B*** and that she's going to beat her A** as soon as she gets a chance and is going to tell her mom not to let my daughter babysit her little brother the rest of this week.

My daughter is supposed to babysit this girls brother because she doesn't want to.

Anyway, my daughter is in tears, and I tell her I will call the girls mom, since I know her well and talk to her.

I left a message at her job, she was in a meeting.

Well, this girl calls around 7 and asks to talk to my daughter, I ask what she wants and she says "Tell her she doesn't need to babysit, my grandma is going to"

I was livid, told her I hope she is proud of herself and hung up!

I asked my daughter if anything had happened between the two of them, and she says not that she is aware of, I believe her because this is somewhat typical of the girl.

I m more angry than my daughter I think. She is a good girl, all A's, will be a Varsity cheerleader next year as a Freshman, etc.

We've always told our daughter that people change and will as she goes through high school and to surround herself with positive people.

I just needed to vent, some more!! But GOSH I'M DISAPPOINTED IN THIS GIRL!!!

ANY ADVICE????? ANY????

 

[AppyLover2]

No advice....just a reminder that real friends don't behave like that. Sounds like your daughter is better off.

 

[lvponies]

I have 2 teenage daughters, ages 16 & 14. Girls this age can be downright evil and mean. There have been so many times that I have hurt for my girls when some girl is hateful to them. And boy do they know how to inflict pain on others!!! I tell them 1. not to stoop to the evil one's level, they are better then that and 2. middle school/high school is a temporary part of life that they will live through and find "true" friends after it's all over. Teenage girls seem to thrive on constant "drama" and some just don't care who they hurt. My youngest is in 8th grade in middle school. She has had an absolutely awful year due to some of her supposed "best friends" who have treated her terribly. I hurt for her all the time. She's a good girl who tries so hard to be decent to others and be a true friend. Unfortunately, some of the other girls just don't care about the feelings of others. She is so looking forward to moving on to high school next year and finding other friends. It's awful of me, but sometimes I long for the day that these girls will feel the same pain that they have made my daughter feel. The old....every dog has his day thing. I may not be around to see when they get theirs, but I have faith that one day they will!!! But.....I really, really hope that I am around to see it!! I know....I'm an awful person!!!!

:

 

[backwoodsnanny]

I think this has always been true but it all seems more violent now. When my daughter was there as a preteen and teen they would find the emotional button and push it but now they threaten and often carry out physical harm and it seems the girls are worse than the boys which has never been the case. They punch each other and not only say they will beat someone's A-- but do it. Make sure your dauaghter watches her back. Something she shouldnt have to do but today that would be my advice. Your daughter sounds like a really good person and sometimes they are the first target. So sorry this is happening to her. Often this boils down to insecurity on the part of the other girl but the violence has escalated in recent years.

 

[Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis]

well we all know girls are very mean and teenage years seems to bring out there meanness even more.

As the mom of a former Varsity Cheerleader and captain of the squad let me tell you she better prepare to hear more mean things lots of them and learn to let them roll of her back. From kids in there own student body calling them fat, (by the way my daughter at biggest was a size 5/6) to calling them stuck up and bitches and everything in between.

My first football season I was ready to fight some MOM yes a MOM who kept talking about the girls over and over again.. I finally could'nt take it anymore and pretty much let her know how I felt about her comments

It is just part of being a teenage girl not a good part, not an ok part but a part none the less.

Something as simple as a boy another girl likes simply saying hi to your daughter can really start the whole thing.

Tell you what I wouldnt go back to that age for a million bucks

 

[lvponies]

Lisa,

You're right about cheerleaders being particularly picked on in a mean way. My daughter has been a cheerleader all through middle school and plans on trying out in high school. Alot of the meaness towards Bethany is probably due to jealousy. Unfortunatly the ones who have been the meanest are other girls on her cheer squad!!

: You would think they would band together, but didn't happen. Really hoping some of these girls (one in particular) don't make the high school squad!!!

Kim

 

[Charley]

My daughter had a friend just like this girl when growing up. I quickly learned to stay out of problems between them. They would be friends then an issue would come up and they were not friends anymore and then friends again so many times that I would listen but learned not to judge or take sides. Their relationship is one that they worked out between them. Things that I thought would forever ruin their friendship was always eventually forgiven.

Oh, my daughter is now 23 and they still do things together. They were never best friends but friends they do remain.

 

[Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis]

Lisa,

Unfortunatly the ones who have been the meanest are other girls on her cheer squad!!

: You would think they would band together, but didn't happen. Really hoping some of these girls (one in particular) don't make the high school squad!!!

Kim

Yes that is the truth.. without a strong coach the girls can run rampant.. we had that issue this year as well it was AWFUL

 

[RainSong]

Teenage girls are vicious. It hasn't been that long since I was in school, and I'll tell you... I didn't get the worst of it, and couldn't have handled it if I did. As is, I couldn't handle school!

Boys have a tendency towards being more physical and outright. Girls don't... they'll sneak, be catty, catch you in a corner when no one is looking, etc. They can destroy your self-esteem in 0.5 seconds and then smile and act like your best friend the moment an adult comes around. It's truely sick. One of the nightly news shows (I can't recall which) did a show about it last year- talk about an eye opener not only to parents, but to the girls themselves!

I hate to say it, but what's been posted between your daughter and her ex-friend really doesn't surprise me- ad take the threat of "kicking her @$$" seriously. While I was in middle school and HS, it was an empty threat most of the time... it isn't now.

 

[Just Us N Texas]

My advice to you would be to not get involved in your daughter's and her friends arguments and disagreements. If so, you will live those miserable years of your youth over, and who wants to do that. I have always said you can tell the hour, minute, second a girl goes from being 12 to 13. She and all her friends change as quickly as someone waved a wand over them. They're vicious, mean little brats! Be supportive of your daughter, but don't take the arguments personally. Be aware of the threats though, and if necessary, report it to the principal, or a favored teacher in school.

 

[Marty]

The lives of teenage girls are soap operas. Wish you were a fly on the wall in my kitchen when the girls would come over to google at all the boys.

I'm willing to bet:

1. There is another teenage girl involved that is lighting a fire

2. There is a rumor involved

I think the best advice you got was: My advice to you would be to not get involved in your daughter's and her friends arguments and disagreements.

And I completely agree. Stay out of it and let the girls resolve it on their own one way or the other.

BUTT! If it were one of mine, if something violent or threatening escalates, then I would open up a can of whoop-a _xx on them like you wouldn't beleive.

 

[whiskeyranch]

Well, it all came to a head yesterday and unfortunately, I got involved. The girl was texting my daughter yesterday, and while we are with all the cheerleaders to get fitted for shoes, she texts my daughter and says, B, I hope you fall and break your neck doing a stunt next year.

Then she makes the mistake of starting to call the house. So I answer and tell her I am really disappointed in the way she is acting after everything, and this needs to stop, ended up telling her to never call my home again if this is the way she is going to act.

I'm so glad yesterday was the last day of school. My daughter will be working and have camp away at a college.

I'm so disappointed.

 

[Blitz Huf Miniatures]

[SIZE=18pt]I'm so sorry this has happened. I worry about Cali going to high school all the time. Granted, she's only in 1st grade right now, but with the world the way it is, it scares me to death! We don't have a middle school here, so after 6th grade, you're off to high school! I've noticed as early as preschool that girls are being catty and just plain mean to each other. They would gang up on other girls, usually Cali and see how far they could push her to make her cry! She used to love school, but has hated it the majority of this year. With this starting so early, it really makes me worry for the teenage years![/SIZE]

 

[~Karen~]

Ohh, I'm sorry. I don't know why kids think they have to be so mean. Girls can slice one another up with words alone and when it is a best friend, those things cut deep an leaves a permanent scar reguardless of the outcome. When our (now grown daughters) ran into problems, we would ask them if there is anything they would like for us to do or say. We let them make that decission and tell them that when they had enough just let us know and we would step in and deal with it. We always would lend an ear and a shoulder. Sometimes they would deal with it on their own, sometimes they would ask advice and deal with it, sometimes they had us step in for them. The best thing for a child to know is that they don't have to be alone in their problems, that mom and dad will always be there to count on. {{{{HUGS to all the children that have to go through heartaches}}}}

~Karen