Friday Stepember 23/2005-it's been 10 years

[justanothercowgirl]

September 23rd marked the 10th anniversary of the loss of my first husband. He and a friend of ours were in northern Ontario on a canoeing trip and drowned in Georgian Bay. It was a late season trip and the weather and the water were cold. The campground they were staying at is on an Indian reservation and only had a few campers at that time. They were expected home from their trip on Sunday the 24th and when they didn't arrive I started making phone calls and after much stress and worry they were found on Monday September 25, 1995 washed up on Pine Point on Georgian Bay. The autopsy revealed they had likely died on the 23rd caught out on the water in a storm in very cold water with waves estimated at 10 feet. It's been ten years and it feels like it was a lifetime ago. I was only 28 when Vince died he was 31. My friend, Monty that was with him was 28 as well, we had been friends since high school and I had introduced them to each other. I am happily married now to a wonderful man and although the hole in my heart will never go away, I am happy now. I hate the expression that time heals all wounds because it is certainly not true but you do get used to the fact that they did take a little piece of your heart with them. After a time the pain isn't so strong and you can look back at the good times you had and be glad for them! We had race horses and riding horses back then and my Dad and I often laugh and say how Vince would have just loved the minis!!

 

[Pepipony]

Cant even imagine the pain you must feel. I have lost family, but they were older and an 'expected' loss. Glad you have found love again. I too hate the saying that time heals, it doesnt, time may lessen pain, but it doesnt heal. Take care Heather

 

[Sterling]

I am so sorry for your loss and am also glad that love came and found you again...I'll bet Vince was a wonderful man.

 

[Marty]

I"m so sorry you went through such an ordeal. It's so sad. I had no idea. (( ))

 

[Triggy&Blue&Daisy Too]

Pam, that is such a very hard thing to go throught when you were so young. You are right that time doesn't heal it only dulls it a bit and I'm sorry this time of year will always bring back that painful memory. Even though life goes on I hope each year will bring more peace about it. Hugs to you, Shirley

 

[SWA]

Warmest hugs and prayers, and wish you much continued love and happiness!

 

[REO]

Mrs Bink, I had no idea. I'm so sorry for your great loss of your wonderful Vince. I think he is still with you and always will be. I betcha that he is happy knowing that you found more love and that you're happy now. NO, the pain never does heal. I wish it did.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} to you hon. You deserve to be happy!

 

[Jill]

Pam, I had no idea what you have been through! Your post really touched me! Big hugs to you!

 

[tifflunn]

Pam, I am so sorry for your loss. ((((((Hugs))))))

Tiffany

 

[ChrystalPaths]

Thank you for sharing and honoring us by sharing a very intimate moment in honoring your husband and good friend. This is surely proof how much of a family we are. Hugs.

 

[justanothercowgirl]

Thank you for caring, it means so much to be able to share with my forum family. I feel so lucky to have the life I have now. I think my present husband, Mark, is truly my soulmate but my relationship and my experiences with Vince helped shape the person that I am today. I am so blessed that I have been given the gift of a good man twice!! I am thankful everyday for that.

The weekend after the funerals were all finished I felt absolutely empty to the core but I went to a team penning event with my family and rode my Dad's horse all day long. Most of you here can completely understand the healing powers that animals have. That helped so much to just lose myself in riding and stop thinking about my loss every second of the day.

I had two dogs at the time of Vince's death and they were what kept me going everyday. It was hard for them too, Shorty had been on the trip with them and was very traumatized. He would try and attack anyone who came near him at the campground. When my Dad and I arrived to pick him up he wouldn't even let my Dad touch him. I went over and picked him up in my arms and he didn't want me to ever put him down. Poor little soul. My other dog, Amber, had stayed home, greyhounds don't do the cold weather camping so well. When we brought all Vinny's gear in the house she went over and put her head on his backpack and just lay there. She never once looked for him after that, she just knew he was gone. Animals are so sensitive and perceptive it never ceases to amaze me.

I am rambling here, thank you all for you kind words.

 

[Just Us N Texas]

I know exactly how you feel! My first husband has been dead now for 12 years, and when I lost him, I felt as if I were just walking around breathing and not truly living. I too have found another great man, and we have been married now for 6 years. Jerry, my present husband, had also lost someone just before we met. We have a very strong and mature love and friendship for each other, but we also respect each other's loss, and the hole that is permanently left in our hearts. I can talk to Jerry about Nate, and he fully understands, he says that all my previous life and experiences are what made me the person that I am now, and I shouldln't ever think that he wants me to forget the love and experiences we shared. I feel the same way about his Marie. Life is not easy, but it has a way of easing our pains. You will never lose the memories of Vince, but you can go on and be happy, as you know. Just know that anniversaries and holidays and memorable occassions will be always be with you, and they are to be treasured!

 

[Just Us N Texas]

I know exactly how you feel! My first husband has been dead now for 12 years, and when I lost him, I felt as if I were just walking around breathing and not truly living. I too have found another great man, and we have been married now for 6 years. Jerry, my present husband, had also lost someone just before we met. We have a very strong and mature love and friendship for each other, but we also respect each other's loss, and the hole that is permanently left in our hearts. I can talk to Jerry about Nate, and he fully understands, he says that all my previous life and experiences are what made me the person that I am now, and I shouldln't ever think that he wants me to forget the love and experiences we shared. I feel the same way about his Marie. Life is not easy, but it has a way of easing our pains. You will never lose the memories of Vince, but you can go on and be happy, as you know. Just know that anniversaries and holidays and memorable occassions will be always be with you, and they are to be treasured!

 

[Miniv]

Wish I could say something profound and comforting to you both. I cannot imagine the pain........ But thank you for sharing.

Blessings to you both,

MA

 

[_minihorses4ever_]

(((((HUGS)))))

We are all here for you. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling, it must really hurt.

 

[Sunny]

I didn't know about your tremendous loss before, Pam. I'm so sorry, but glad that you have someone so special in your life now.

 

[MyLilShowGirl]

Pammy,

I had no idea that it was around this time of year..if I did, I would have said something earlier...

I am sooo happy for you that you have found Mark, you two are perfect for eachother and you can see how much you love one another...it definately shows.

I believe everything happens for a reason, and like you mentioned before...I agree that Vince just prepared you for your current relationship with Mark, but Vince should never be forgotten...so I think it's great that you have shared your story to honour him

I am sure you have loads of fond memories to remember him by....((Hugs))

-Kris

 

[justanothercowgirl]

I know exactly how you feel! My first husband has been dead now for 12 years, and when I lost him, I felt as if I were just walking around breathing and not truly living. I too have found another great man, and we have been married now for 6 years. Jerry, my present husband, had also lost someone just before we met. We have a very strong and mature love and friendship for each other, but we also respect each other's loss, and the hole that is permanently left in our hearts. I can talk to Jerry about Nate, and he fully understands, he says that all my previous life and experiences are what made me the person that I am now, and I shouldln't ever think that he wants me to forget the love and experiences we shared. I feel the same way about his Marie. Life is not easy, but it has a way of easing our pains. You will never lose the memories of Vince, but you can go on and be happy, as you know. Just know that anniversaries and holidays and memorable occassions will be always be with you, and they are to be treasured!

I am so glad you have found peace and a good man as well. Jerry is a kindred spirit as well since he lost his Marie. Mark doesn't mind me talking about Vince and from time to time he even asks me about him and what my life was like then. I am sure you understand when I say that my life with Vince feels like a lifetime ago. It still makes me sad that he and Monty were taken from us so young they had so much life ahead of them. I am thankful though for all that life has given me thus far!

 

[mountain_waif]

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