Foreign Exchange Student

[whiskeyranch]

We were asked to be a host family a couple of days ago. We were totally overwhelmed with the idea, but after sleeping on it, we decided to at least be a welcome family.

Have any of you ever had a foreign exchange student?

We are having a meeting here at the house tomorrow with the sponser, but I would love to hear any tips, advice, stories, etc.

Our student will be a girl from Pakistan. Her mother is a gyno. doctor. She is very bright, also religious. Her profile says she is vegetarian, no pork. I am especially nervous about that as we are meat and potatoe eaters. :new_shocked:

Anyway, tell me what ya think.

 

[wildoak]

Have never done it, but my neighbor growing up was the regional director for AFS. It was a wonderful experience for those kids and the families from all I saw. They had a student from France who remained practically a part of their family for the rest of their lives. Times are different now, I'd just be sure of the screening process and set ground rules ahead of time. My sister in law had a couple of students, a girl they grew very close to, and a boy who kept sneaking out, getting drunk, etc. Kids are kids - everywhere.

I'd give a lot of thought to the vegetarian thing - be sure you are willing to accomodate her. If she is a very strict vegetarian, she may have a problem coming into a "meat and potatoes" house lol.

If you decide to go ahead with it, I hope it's a wonderful experience. The program in my opinion is a great thing. It gives such insight to the participants, and understanding of other cultures.

Jan

 

[Minimor]

A girl I work with has taken in several exchange students; some she hasn't said too much about, the very first one she had has become a good friend of the family & has been back a couple times for visits. He actually didn't want to go home after his initial stay here--he was trying to get the paperwork to stay, but his mom back in Germany pitched a fit over that & he did give in & go home. I know the family really enjoyed this boy. I believe she's having 2 students stay with her family this coming year.

My next door neighbor was telling me about the several students her daughter has had stay with her over the years. The first few worked out really well, then the last two soured her. One boy had a real attitude, figured everyone should wait on him, was just more & more obnoxious as time went by, and she asked for him to be sent elsewhere. Actually the school ended up asking him to leave. His parents didn't want their friends knowing he'd been sent home in disgrace so instead of having him come home they arranged an extended holiday for him for the time he should have remained here. The other problem was a girl that didn't like anything about being here. She didn't like the "rural" setting, the small school, she was always wanting to go to a bigger city to shop, she didn't get along with the other kids, she complained about the food...at her request she went home early. Neighbor's daughter wasn't sorry to see her leave.

So, there is good & bad about it.

 

[Miniv]

We've been host parents for AFS - twice. What organization are you being interviewed with?

For AFS it's for a full year and they try to match up the student and host family as much as possible. Just try to be as open and honest about your family and lifestyle as possible so they can make that match........That is all I can recommend.

Our first AFS daughter was from South Africa, of British descent. She was wonderful and we learned from her probably as much as she learned from us. We were young and fairly newly married, wanting children. Loving Joanna was my first of only two experiences with what a parent calls unconditional love.........if that gives you an idea how wonderful she was and is for us. It's hard to believe that she's 42 now. I am 50 and Larry is 54. She came back to visit a few years later and we've been in contact since, currently making plans to go to visit HER within the next couple of years........

Our second AFS daughter was from New Zealand. We got her later during her year in the U.S. because her original host family wasn't working out. She also was great. Remembering her makes me smile and laugh. We think of Monique with lots of fondness and exchange Christmas notes every year, but to be honest we didn't develop the level of closeness with her that we did with Joanna.

I will say that with both experiences, they were extremely positive and I recommend doing it if your family is open to it.

MA

 

[laughingllama75]

I have never hosted personally, but my parents did while I was growing up. I believe we had 9 different students, and all but one were awesome. Our family has such fond memories of them, and we still keep in touch with 4 (2 from Chile, one from Greece and one from the Netherlands). I found it to be an experience I look back on all the time, and I remember learning SO MUCH from them. My parents ended up in divorce, that's why we stopped hosting eventually. Whatever you decide, do what's best for you........and if you choose to host, have fun!

:

Alicia

 

[capall beag]

I was an AFS exchange student and I went to France and a french girl lived at my house.

We have also had many exchange students, all from France or Spain.

I think it is a great experience, my one was not a good one with AFS but I learned a whole lot! I also learned how to live outside the box! I ate foods I thought I never would, learned another culture and another way of doing things. IMO it opens up your mind and that is always a good thing.

The girl who lived with my family said it was a wonderful experience.

I lived with her mother and her older brother in a highrise appt. The mother worked 12 hours a day so I was bored and lonely. But I learned to appreciate what I had at my home and at 15 you don't always appreciate what you have

:

That said, before agreeing to it, especially if it is a longterm thing, be sure you "like" what you read about the person you would be sponsoring.

What I mean is if their is NO common ground you may feel uncomfortable. Remember it is 24/7, just like family

:

I would love to have an exchange student sometime but a priority for me would be that they liked animals, because they would be surrounded by them here!!

Also, depending on her religion, she may have strict rules of how food can be prepared. That can become a bit of a pain, if you have to prepare different meals everyday. But that is just my opinion!!

Let us know what you decide!

 

[Sonya]

My family has never hosted one, but we have a good friend who did. The little girl was from Russia, and it was a very positive experience for our friend and the girl. Last I heard she still comes from Russia to visit.

One thing you must consider, and this is unfortunate, because your student comes from an Islamic country and so close to Afghanistan, it could turn into a negative experience for her and you as well. Pre 9-11 Pakistan had very close ties with the Taliban. Hopefully people will not look at her and pass judgement because of her middle-eastern descent. Hopefully this doesn't happen, but just be aware it could be a possibility. Hopefully she will not experience any prejiduces.

 

[RJRMINIS]

Well having family members who have done this more than once, well the first time it was ok, the second year, nope didn't work out, and they had to find other homes for them. Depends alot on the kid you get, just remember when you are getting 15-18 year olds that can pose alot of problems. My one family member would not let the one girl go out and party like she was used to doing, and she did not like that so asked to find a new host family.lol

After their experiences, no way I would EVER do it.

 

[whiskeyranch]

We will be working with CIEE-Usa High School. She would be here for the school year. Coming around Aug. 10 until and up to 2 wks. after school is out. June 1 or so.

We have asked ourselves everything ya'll have mentioned. I can deal with the veg. thing, but she will understand that we will be grilling steak!!!! If it takes a special skillet and a special plate set for her, we can deal with that.

The negativity about her race,,,,,,,everyone will have to get over it. Our kids are the "popular" type, athletes, cheerleader....not that it will mean anything, but hopefully will make a difference.

My hubby is such a jokester, he reminded me of the movie Sweet Sixteen, with Molly Ringwald, remember the exchange student,,,Long Duck Dong??? He said, I hope she isn't like that!! He's a mess!

I sooooo appreciate all your input, and I will update everyone after our interview today. The only thing that may stop us is our son. We have a girl and a boy.

 

[backwoodsnanny]

Though I personally have not ever had an AFS student we are coming off a year where we have had a girl from Hungary living with my sons family and since it is a family situation we got to know her very well over the last 10 months. All of us learned so much since none of us knew anything about Hungary before she came. She was from Budapest which is a big city and was placed in rural Maine but she also learned alot. She was 17 when she came and 18 when she left and her leaving was like losing a grandchild. She did not eat any meat except chicken when she came either and that was a difficulty but accomodated also she had lived on her own in her own flat above her parents at home so rules were something new to her but that too resolved itself. I would say a student from Pakistan in this day and age might create problems for you but perhaps not. The whole experience if rated in total was a good one for all of us and she did not want to leave she is hoping to return for Thanksgiving.If it does not work you have several opportunities to either swap for another student or not have a student at all so I would say go for it.

 

[MyBarakah]

Hi!

I have never had a foreign exchage student....but when I use to train full time and was training & showing quarter horses.... since my X was gone 90% of the time I needed some help..... So I had working "students". The first girl I had was a 19 yr.old girl, Hannah, from New Zealand (she stayed for 4 months-during show season). We've kept in contact and she even came and visited me & the kids last year (now 23)... and was SOOO great to see her! She was the only one from over seas..... I had a handful of other working students in the US and stay in contact with a couple of them..... But it was a good experinece and really nice to have and learn about thier culture (vise versa)......

 

[Whitestar]

I have had 5 students, 2 from England, one from sweden, 2 from Australia. Some worked out great, others did not. The first thing you need to get straight is if it doesnt work out, if they have a home set up to take them right away, nothing worse that living with someone that despises being there ( & Vise versa). the last two were spoiled brats, from very rich families, not use to doing chores ( Emptying dishwasher, doing own laundry, helping a bit when needed, not slave labor) & also were use to having more freedom & public transport than living on a farm & not being able to go off & do what they wanted when THEY wanted. They also got loads of spending money which didnt set well with my other kids who still had to live on a small allowence. The last two were the bad ones & we gave up when it didnt get better & what made it worse is the exchange program had no place to put them when it got bad so we were stuck with each other for another month. Imagine living with a horribly spoiled rotten teenager that wouldnt speak with you. She had thought that she was going to LA & got stuck in Hicksville USA! On a farm to BOOT!!! Frankly they try to match you up, but the kids are so desperate to come they will say they will be happy living anywhere but their idea of life in America is more what they see on TV, 90210 & back then Dallas ( yes it was a long time ago) so it was a shock to find out what it really was like.

The ones that do work out, were wonderful life long friends... You just never know...

 

[rabbitsfizz]

You need to look into this a lot more closely.

Being Muslim she may have some very strict rules about dress, eating, praying etc.

She may stick out like a sore thumb, she may not, it just depends on the family background but it might be an idea to find out before she gets to your house!!!

 

[LindaL]

When I was in Jr. High, my parents hosted a Brazilian exchange student for the school year. His name is Ricardo (Rico) and he became very popular at the school (he went to the same school I did...he was in 9th grade, I was in 8th). Luckily for me, he was very good-looking and all the girls were "jealous" that he lived with me...lol! :bgrin He did have a GF while here and went to the dances with her. He was also on the swim team. Our family kept in touch with him thru the years and he came back to visit once with his parents, but somewhere along the way about 10 yrs ago, he "disappeared". We have tried to find him thru family, phone calls and the internet...all unsuccessfully! :no: It's a real mystery that I want to figure out someday, because I always considered him like a brother.

I also became an exchange student in 11th grade, thru my high school's German class. We paired up with a German HS and there were 17 of us that went. We stayed for 1 month and then our "partner" came to stay with us in the US for 1 month. My host family was courteous to me, but was frustrated that my German wasn't as fluent as they would have liked, because altho they spoke English, they wanted me to speak only German while there. I didnt get to know them very well, since I was almost never around. My parents were embarrassing while my partner (Mark) was here...As a group, we wanted to go out all the time (like we did in Germany) and my parents felt that he should spend more time with the family...it became a problem and I was mortified! :new_shocked: What could've been a really good, lasting friendship ended when the experience for Mark went bad.

I think the experience was different in that with me, we went as a group (so with our partners there was 34 of us), so we spent a lot of time together doing things, whereas most exchange students go as individuals (and also stay longer than a month), so they have time to spend actually living as a family with their hosts.

I hope your experience as a host family is a good one. I always wanted to host a student, but being a single mom, I felt like I couldnt give them an experience they would have enjoyed...sightseeing, etc.

Remember that there will be culture shock on both ends, but if you are both easy going about things, it ends up being funny and you'll laugh about it! :bgrin

 

[whiskeyranch]

Our meeting yesterday was mostly signing papers, I got some books about hosting that are very interesting and helping put things in perspective.

I found out our student will have to do a certain amount of community service and that our sponser takes them on weekend trips, such as Nasa, San Antonio, etc. Our main responsibility is teaching about American family life. Our daughter, if she chooses, can also go on these trips with the exchange students.

I'm not really concerned about the Pakistan racism, maybe I should be but I have for most of my life, been discriminated against for being blonde. I was actually told at an interview once that I wouldn't be hired because I was too attractive in their opinion and it could cause a problem. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!

I still won't know anything for sure for about a week, because they must speak with the family to see if it's okay for her to be in a house with a boy. Waiting, waiting.

If it's not okay, we could possibly get another student, but it is getting near time for them to come, and we wouldn't have much time to get to know them thru email, etc.

This may have to wait until next year.

 

[Mercysmom]

Hopefully people will not look at her and pass judgement because of her middle-eastern descent. Hopefully this doesn't happen, but just be aware it could be a possibility. Hopefully she will not experience any prejiduces.

The school I work with has had some wonderful exchange students - we had a girl from India who wanted to come to the US to show a real life, true face to the Muslim religion. She is a lovely young lady, polite, smart, worked very hard in school and was our PE student of the year at my awards night ... and the other kids were also hard working, driven students who were all wonderful ambassadors to the countries they were from. Everyone loved the 2007 kids... and I will miss them especially - can't wait for my next two to come in. Most of our kids go through the AFS program (we have an awesome coordinator) but some go through through EF and the Rotary.

My 2006 kids come back to visit, too.

My neighbors hosted two students from Germany and their mom came out to visit for a month - despite being in a very rural area, Mom rode her bike to the Wegmans "nearby" (a good 12 miles from our homes). My neighbor's kids also went to Germany for part of the year to study. My neighbors had to lay down some ground rules as one of the kids wanted to stay out all night as she did back home but it worked out.

I hope it works for you - it seems like a rewarding experience.

Denise

Silversong Farm

 

[qtrrae]

We have had two foreign exchange students.

The first one was Pekko from Finland. He was just wonderful and well liked by our children and by the community. He was like another son to our family. After his year with us he went back to Finland to finish his high school - he then returned to the United States and got a degree in a college near us. Pekko ended up marrying a wonderful girl from this area, they now live in the Racine, WI area. He has an excellent job, comes very often to visit and still calls me "Mom!" I will never regret the wonderful memories and being able to share our lives with Pekko.

Our 2nd. foreign exchange student was Anna from Sweden. beautiful lovely girl. She also fit in wonderfully with our family - we cried many tears when she left to go back to her home in Sweden. Anna has never come back to visit but we hear from her often. She is now married with 2 adorable children. I will never regret our years with Pekko and Anna. I know they taught us so much and I always felt it was a great and wonderful experience.

Go for it - you will learn so much and it will be a wonderful experience for all involved.