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Endless

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I read the forum alot and I hardly ever post but I feel as if I need to this time. For the most part it seems that most of the members are supportive of some but quick to judge and put down others that may not be part of the inner circle. I find that sad. I have seen tons of people jumping to help some people and then when others are in need of help or advice they are told to get rid of their animals if they can't afford them. Why is help good for one and not another??? I really think that people should read and re read posts before jumping on with their opinions.

We all have opinions but I really feel people should put themselves in others shoes before they are so quick to judge others. Yes I understand that by posting on a public forum people open themselves up to everyones opinions but when did kindness go out the window??? Maybe some people just cant type exactly what they are trying to say and maybe people should take a more compassionite view of some of these posts. It looks to me like most people are on this forum to learn and for emotional backup to share their joys and sorrows, which there are alot of both in the animal world. So why not take a minute befopre being mean and think about what you are saying. I see no reason to kick people while they are down or to put people down for trying to do right to the best of their ability for there animals.

I am willing to bet that every single one of us has had a time or two where they needed some sort of help.

Again I dont normally air my opinions here and maybe no one cares that I did this time but I just get tired of people being mean to others. Remember the old saying treat people how you would like to be treated!!
 

kaykay

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I have to agree and I hope that I am not one included in your post. I always try to put myself in the other persons shoes. And I try really hard to be helpful not hurtful. I have found though that I post less and less and I really hate that because I do think I could be helpful for other people since I have seen a lot since the time I got into miniatures. But it seems like anymore you also get flamed for trying to help so its almost a lose/lose situation.

Im hoping the tide will turn and we can all be kinder to each other again. Theres a wealth of information to be had here and some really amazing people
 

MiniforFaith

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I could not have said it better myself, and I am glad you did.. There is a "click" and if you don't belong, well just remember high school. Don't get me wrong there are ALOT of wonderful people on here and I have made a few good friends.. But I do think some really need to think about what they say, and if you can't say anything nice--- don't say it at all!!
 
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Reble

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I could not have said it better myself, and I am glad you did.. There is a "click" and if you don't belong, well just remember high school. Don't get me wrong there are ALOT of wonderful people on here and I have made a few good friends.. But I do think some really need to think about what they say, and if you can't say anything nice--- don't say it at all!!
So True....
 

SWA

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Welcome to the forum! You are smart to notice this so soon. I think it is like any group of friends, you just have to know who to trust.
Sometimes you also have to be aware of "wolves in sheep's clothing". As some will strive to gain your trust, just so they can slit your throat. (Metaphorically speaking, of course
). It's not just "here" though, that's life in general, unfortunately.

I too have noticed though, that as you have observed, some respond differently to others, usually pending if they are on this month's "we don't like list" or not.
I often feel I've made that list a time or two
, just wish I knew "what" I did or said to have made it. Let alone, "who" I must have said or done it to??? I've always been one to try my darndest to make things right, if I've ever wronged anyone, but lately I just have no clue anymore.

Thankfully, I do feel welcome among a few here still, at least somewhat... So, I just post when I feel I'm sharing among friends, and respond when/where my heart feels most compelled. If I am ever intruding or unwelcome among some, I apologize, just wish I knew who the list makers were, so I wouldn't further impose myself.

Without ever knowing though, I just post and/or respond hoping I've not cracked anyones eggshells for having done so.


That said, I agree with Kay's statement:

But it seems like anymore you also get flamed for trying to help so its almost a lose/lose situation.
Im hoping the tide will turn and we can all be kinder to each other again. Theres a wealth of information to be had here and some really amazing people
With emphasis (sp?) on the latter.
 
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Minimor

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Well, you know, sometimes...often...it isn't anything at all to do with who the person is. It's about good sense and caring for animals properly.... often people are being realistic, not mean, and the answers that some call "mean" are actually very good advice.
 

bingo

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I think there is alot of reasons as to why.

Sometimes it is a simple as some people may have more background info then others which might change the way they reply.

Sometimes it is simply someone stating something coming from logic rather then emotion. If the rest of the thread is based on emotion then it would be easy to see something coming from logic as mean.

Honestly it is very hard to learn if everyone agrees with everyone else and all you hear is what people think you want to hear.

I have been confused at times when for whatever reason the forum decides to ban together and rally and give hundreds + dollars to one person and condems another but that happens in every day life as well and we all give to what moves us.
 

Brandi*

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Well said Everyone
This is the first forum I have ever been a member of and it is an interesting environment to say the least. Some people will post one little thing and in 5 minutes there are 3 pages worth of responses. And then there are others who hardly ever post and in two days their post has 5 comments.
I think it just depends who is online at that time and whats going on in everyone's lives at that moment.

I have noticed that some are more outspoken than others but I still have yet to peg any one member as being mean. In every post there seems to be two sides. The defending side and the opposing side
It's a lot like politics
It is always interesting to see who picks what side. I try my best to stay away from the heated topics cause I always feel like I end up saying too much :DOH! Sometimes the urge is too strong to NOT say something.


But I always try to be kind and tactful. Like Kay, I hope I am not one who this post was meant for
 

SWA

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I have been confused at times when for whatever reason the forum decides to ban together and rally and give hundreds + dollars to one person and condems another but that happens in every day life as well and we all give to what moves us.
I can only offer my personal experiences with regard to committing of myself for others in their time of need. I still will, with whole heartedness, but I have learned with great heartache, that not always is "my feeble offerings" even wanted. There was a "once upon a time" that I would always, without question, offer of myself however possible within my feeble means, to DO ALL all I could, FOR ALL I could. There was that "once upon a time" when that WAS MY WHOLE LIFE! MY EVERY HEART's DESIRE, from the moment I woke up each and every morning, till the time I lay my head to sleep...and that was often done without too, for the sake of committing of myself toward someone else's needs.

I just never know anymore if when I "try", am I just imposing myself where I'm not really wanted in the first place...or is what I am offering just NOT ENOUGH, either way I find myself OFTEN held in contempt just for even "trying". So I just never know anymore. Honestly, I just never know anymore.


Just the last couple weeks here, I've offered my prayerful support "privately" to some who've requested of this "publicly". My offerings were either TOTALLY IGNORED, leaving me to feel I must have intruded/imposed where I clearly was not wanted...or, gosh, I don't know???? I just don't know anymore.

ANYONE, who knows "me" though, knows my GENUINE HEART, regardless of those who hold me in their contempt for "just trying". There is still the time or two, when I offer my condolences and/or prayerful support or ANY OTHER MEANS of committing of myself to their cause and/or need, they do GENUINELY accept that of me, and I will always be deeply grateful to every opportunity that I can give of myself in that way. So...still, YES, I try, and do so PRIVATELY, and will continue to so long as that is openly accepted of me. And for those who choose to hold me in their contempt for just trying to do what little I could and it just was NOT WANTED or was just NOT ENOUGH...well...I pray for 'em. That is all I can do.


NEVER will I EVER condemn anyone in their time of cause or need though.
 
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Minimor

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I have been confused at times when for whatever reason the forum decides to ban together and rally and give hundreds + dollars to one person and condems another but that happens in every day life as well and we all give to what moves us.
As I see it, some things are a genuine "needy cause" and others aren't.

If someone posts that XYZ Farm has had a barn fire & lost all of their tack and half of their horses, to me that is a good cause, and is something I would donate to.

If someone posts that their horse has colic and needs surgery and they cannot afford it and please could everyone donate money toward it, that is not something that I personally support. Why not? Because that's a normal part of owning horses and is a cost to be borne by the owner. I would never even THINK of posting a plea for financial assistance for vet care for my horse and I'm not about to contribute to someone else's expenses.

If someone rescues a horse, that's wonderful, but I don't believe that person should expect donations. If someone wants to donate, fine, that's great, but again it's not something that I personally support. Why not? Because I have rescued my share of animals, horses included, and I wouldn't even dream of asking anyone else to contribute to that.

I believe there are many that feel the same way, that it is the "need" and not the "who" that affects our decision on whether or not we jump onto a cause with our financial support. No doubt there are some that look at "who" it is, but in most cases I don't think that has anything to do with it. Usually, too, the most successful charity cases are those who don't ask for anything for themselves. You don't usually see the barn fire victim come on and say please give me money. It will be a good friend, or neighbor, or fellow breeder that comes on and say hey, so & so had this tragedy, can we do something to help him out.
 

Ashley

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I agree. Another reason I dont really post around here much anymore. I come to read, but often times dont really do much of that either. I think this forum has lost alot of its "important" stuff in the last year or so. Mostly now I just come to check out the foal pics and any pics on the pic forum.

I have spent alot of time just watching how others appear to "change" over time and go from one of the average normal people to those who are in the "in".

I am starting to find that I am starting to like those I never much cared for more then others on here. At least they show there true colors always and dont change. If that makes any sense.
 
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Jill

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I can only suspect I am thought to be a member of the "inner circle" because usually my topics get a lot of response. But I have always thought and believed that is because I also give a lot of feed back to all the other members -- be it advice when I have it, congratulations, a compliment on a photo, etc. Some people are maybe well liked because they are nice and enjoy others happy news and successes
 

Brandi*

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Yes I agree Jill. You are well known here because you participate in all aspects of the forum
You are a popular gal


I can only suspect I am thought to be a member of the "inner circle" because usually my topics get a lot of response. But I have always thought and believed that is because I also give a lot of feed back to all the other members -- be it advice when I have it, congratulations, a compliment on a photo, etc. Some people are maybe well liked because they are nice and enjoy others happy news and successes
 

maplegum

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I usually stay away from heated topics as it's not the type of thing I like to get involved in. I'm a lover, not a fighter!


Anyway, not sure if this has anything to do with the topic at heart but I feel like mentioning that it annoys me when you NEVER hear from certain members until foaling season. They then post photos of their babies and then disappear again for another year. Don't get me wrong, I love the babies, but I feel they are only here to advertise..

I visit the board daily, and usually post on a daily basis. I have formed some very strong friendships here, especially a friend that lives locally to me. If it wasn't for this board, I would have never have met such a special friend.
 

Jill

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I visit the board daily, and usually post on a daily basis. I have formed some very strong friendships here, especially a friend that lives locally to me. If it wasn't for this board, I would have never have met such a special friend.
I love hearing about this kind of thing
Many of the people who I value so much as friends I have met because of LB. Not only that, but I have learned SO much from the members... I take "you all" with me on business trips and don't feel so homesick when I can log onto LB from my hotel, etc. There are just so many good things about LB and the people here


PS thank you, Brandi
 

Endless

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Thanks everyone for responding, its nice to know people are reading and thinking. I have also met some very nice people on this forum and have also learned some things. I dont respond alot because most times I would be saying the same thing someone else already said. I understand there are always more than one way of thinking and there are soooooooo many opinions out there and sometimes its good to hear from all angles but I just wish there was a way to do so nicely. Sometimes I think people dont even mean to sound nasty or like their opinion is the only opinion, so all I am saying is we need to all stop and think before we type. I read the post that got my dander up 3 times over several hours before I went and posted this thread. I figured since the urge to do so wouldnt go aay then I needed to get my opinion off my chest! This post is not directed at any one person or group but to ALL forum members and people in general and of course it is only my opinion!
 

Keri

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I stay away from the heated topics too. Everyone has their opinion and sometimes its best to let things lie. I have found a world of helpful information on here from foaling topics (my first foaling year) to driving stuff. I was even convinced after talking with people that a stifle surgery is best for my gelding. Would never had done it unless I had heard the success stories from other members. Lots of people have had similar experiences and can help out. I've never noticed a "click" of sorts, but noticed who can be very opinionated and their opinion is the only right one.
Oh, well! Its everywhere. Takes things with a spoonful of sugar and get on with life.
 

yankee_minis

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Well, seeings how I'm one of the IN crowd.... huh? what? I'm NOT one of the IN crowd? Awww and I thought I was Special! LOL

Some people are sensitive and some people aren't.

Emotions versus logic.

Grey versus black and white.

Personally I always see shades of grey in every situation. My co-worker, who I love, sees black and white. We laugh at each other and ourselves.

But if we had to do everything in writing, it wouldn't be so funny and I'd get hurt.

My heart goes out to everybody.

I say be nice.

 
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