coping with death of niece

[delia]

I just got home from Helena, MT. My niece was shot in the head and died of her wounds. My husband says I have changed in the last 3 weeks! I feel tramatised! This is so sensless! I feel so sad. And I don't know how to deal with this. She has left behind a 1 year old daughter and there will be a terriable custody battle. I feel for the babe. My heart breaks.

 

[nootka]

Of course you have changed! You are also in shock and have been traumatized!

I remember when my brother in law died suddenly, it left me really shell-shocked for about 6 months though I would say it was more like a year before it didn't affect my mood daily.

These kinds of things are not like when a sick, old person dies, though those things are hard, too, it isn't quite the same.

I am so sorry for the loss of your neice and I hope the family can do right by her baby, that little girl has lost so much before she has even realized what she had. That makes me so sad.

Work through your grief the best way you can, and tell your husband how you feel, he may be able to understand, at least on some level, to give you the space you need to get to a healthy place of acceptance, where you can continue living.

It doesn't happen overnight.

My thoughts are with you and her family,

Liz M.

 

[Miniv]

OF COURSE you have changed! What would anyone expect???? A horrific violent death to a young relative would change anyone. And I suspect it will effect you and your whole outlook on things for the rest of your life.

My heart goes out to you and your niece's entire family and especially her little girl.

Blessings,

MA

 

[Marty]

You are certainly intitled to "change" and be grief stricken over such a violent tradgedy. It would help to have your husband listen to you or a clergyman. Please accept my condolences.

 

[mountain_waif]

....

 

[luv4minis]

delia ,let me start by saying how very sorry i am to hear your sad news , it was in 2000 i lost a niece ,she went into a coma and didnt recover ..it was terrible to take in ..

but worse was to come in 2003 aug i lost my 20 yr old daughter to a condition called sudden cardiac death ..vicky was on holiday with her partner and my grand daughter shannon who was just 5mths old at the time..vicky was pushing her in the buggy along the streets when she complained of feeling dizzy then within seconds collapsed and did not regain conciousness ..we had lost our darling daughter in a matter of minutes ..her heart went into a irregular beat im told and then stopped ...

so i do understand totally how you feel and please dont hesitate to email me if you need to

sympathy

jackie

vandeena miniatures ...uk

 

[LaraP]

Delia,

There is nothing I know I can say to make anything any better for you, but to say I am truly sorry for your pain and loss. I can truly say to you I know how you feel, God Bless You! I can't help you, altho I wish so that I could just take some of your pain and shock away, right now I can't help myself. But I pray that you will get some inner peace.

Lara Pier

 

[lyn_j]

[SIZE=14pt]Delia, grief goes thru several stages before it is resolved. You havent had even enough time to get thru the shock phase. Of course you have changed. This wasnt just a death it was a violent senseless death. That makes it even harder than say someone has died after a long illness and you had time to prepare for it. Your whole family dynamics has changed. Worrying now also about the baby adds to the stress. We can pray that the people in authority can do what is best for that baby..... will also pray for peace for you and the rest of her family. It wont come immediately but may God give you the grace and perserverance to get thru this. You wont ever be the same but down the road it will get easier to live with. So sorry for you and the rest of her family.[/SIZE]

Lyn

 

[Miniv]

There truly has been MANY losses on this Board!

There is a group called "Compassionate Friends" which has chapters all over the country and in the UK which offers emotional support for people (AND their families) who's children have died.

I've been told by a number of people that it is a wonderful organization. It unfortunately was not around when my brother was killed as I'm sure it would have helped my mother and father.

Blessings,

MA

 

[minisaremighty]

My thoughts and prayers go to you and your family. A horrilbe way to lose a loved one, to violence. So tragic. Praying that the baby will be well taken care of, no matter who she ends up with.

 

[delia]

Thank you all for your kind words! I know it takes time to heal. I just feel really shell shocked! I just can't understand this kind of senseless death. So young and full of life one minute and gone the next. Doesn't seem fair.

 

[sharon]

So very sorry to hear such sad news.

 

[Mona]

OMG, how awful. I am sop very sorry.

 

[Shelley]

Please accept my sincere condolences.

I'm sure a good portion of the way you are feeling has to do not just with the sudden loss of your niece, but also the fact that her life was taken purposely in this manner. I hope that whoever is responsible for this is now locked up behind bars. So senseless, so tragic!

Hugs to you and your family,

Shelley

 

[CyndiM]

You have my deepest sympathy.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.