Best Friends

[nootka]

Hi,

I was thinking today about my own best friend, even though now that I'm older I have lots of people I consider "best" in some respect or other, even some that frequent this board, but there is only one when I think of that one best friend that has a childhood to adulthood connection and thankfully, she and I are still best friends.

I met Chris in Freshman year high school. We had Art General 1 together w/Mr. Smith. We all sat at the same table. I was a shy kid w/glasses and a Garfield T-shirt. She was blonde w/red dyed ends (not natural red, but blood red), punk buttons (keep in mind this was 1981), and dressed like a London punk rocker. We were both outcasts for different reasons. I was too shy to be popular and she had made choices in music and outward appearance that were less than popular.

We both changed a LOT during those four years of school, both becoming more outspoken and more "ourselves" but we found we had a lot more in common than we thought, too.

It came down to changing our schedules around so we could be in the same classes, and when we graduated, we finally found a job together at an Insurance company.

When we weren't hanging out together, we were on the phone together, so inseparable were we.

Guys came and went, and some threatened to break us up. Our relationship waxed and waned though it was always very intense. When we were mad at each other, we were very mad at each other, and I know we hurt each other's feelings a LOT. There were times we didn't speak to each other, but we made it through. She's had three marriages and now two children. I've had one marriage and three children (when I had my first son, she was not of a mindset to have kids so we drifted apart a while then), but I am SO GLAD we did not lose touch for good. We have forgiven each other a lot, and I would not trade that best friend status for anything.

It's so funny to be able to send a three word email which says volumes. We still "get" our secret code, and of course either of us can sometimes give the other a look which explains it all. Priceless. We laugh and cry together and I know I have one strong woman in my corner no matter what comes. I can't see anything that would truly put us asunder at this point in life.

Wish I could find the pic of us together in one of those photo booths at fifteen years old. We were goofing around w/a paper bag and I think both of us had it on our heads in different pics but the expressions and how young we were was amusing. I would post it w/this post. Will do if I come across it.

Would love to hear about other best friends....

Liz M.

 

[Triggy&Blue&Daisy Too]

Actually to define a best friend for me it’s the person who I can call day or night whether it’s convenient or not, be able to tell them anything and be there for me unconditionally and I for them.  While I can claim several friends who meet that criteria only one truly stands out as a “best†and for some reason we have been closely bonded since the day we met.  We even married for a short time many years ago which almost totally ruined the relationship.  We tried for 3 years but finally had to admit that we were not meant to be husband and wife.  However, we have been best friends for the past 26 years and little did my husband realize when we met  that another man would be a permanent part of our relationship. But some how he understood this, accepts it and even embraces him as a dear friend as well. 

I have been called weird outright by several people who just can’t grasp this concept and had a lot of fingers shook at me through out the years including my own mother saying no man should ever come between me and my spouse.  No one ever could come “between†my hubby and I as the very basis for any relationship for me was the acceptance that whoever I became involved with and/or married must be able to understand and cope with this friendship.  There would be no “choosing†and anyone who would have asked on either side, either best friend or boyfriend/husband to get the other out of my life, is NOT in my life today.

On a general note, I do enjoy a variety of relationships with many people but could just as easily be a hermit too.  I've always been very independent and can fit in just about anywhere I want to be.   I won’t do high maintenance relationships with troubled people and those types always remain distant aquaintances, if acknowleged at all, because they tend to suck the life out of everyone they are around.  If someone does come into my inner circle of close friends they've had to earn it and have excellent character.  I have zero tolerance for drama queens/kings, moochers, liars, whiners, passive-agressive cowards and users. I'm extremely picky who I associate with and won’t be friends with just anyone.

 

[CAM]

I have many friends I have had since grade school and many I have made later on in life that I consider to be good friends but I have one I consider my best friend. We met in college and went on to Dental Hygiene school together, married dentists who went through school together and had three kids, all born within just days or a few weeks of each other. Our firsts were born just 10 days apart, our second 5 weeks to the day apart and our third just 3 weeks to the day apart. We have gone through so much together and because our lives parallel each other so closely, we can understand many of the trials or tribulations we have gone through, many at the same time: buying our first homes, selling our first home, building a dental practice, the trials of parenting a toddler, etc. all at the same time. For someone like me who has no siblings, it is the closest thing to having a sister I could ask for. The only thing we don't share is a mother and father, well...and a husband.

:

 

[nootka]

Debra, your best friend sounds much like mine w/some obvious differences, but it sure is wonderful to have those people in our lives, eh?

Shirley, yours too. I know what you mean about the calling anytime person and I have one of those, too. Believe it or not, I completely understand what you mean and I can empathize with your situation quite well.

I'm really happy to hear about your best friends. I guess being as I am so short on quality family, I really treasure these relationships.

Liz M.

 

[Miniv]

My best friend and I have known eachother for 30 years. We've been through he*ll and back together.....and even through a major split up. But, we realized during our time apart -- who could we really go to? Who could we count on if not eachother? As a song from the past says -- when our backs are against the wall -- who is always there?

Yes, I have close female friends -- But my BEST friend is Larry. Wouldn't have it any other way......

MA

 

[nootka]

MA, that is awesome.

Continued best wishes for at least another 30 years!

Liz

 

[hobbyhorse23]

Actually to define a best friend for me it's the person who I can call day or night whether it's convenient or not, be able to tell them anything and be there for me unconditionally and I for them.

I get sad sometimes because I've come to realize that I haven't had anyone like that for a very long time. :no: My friends from high school are good people but we're still friends mostly because of shared history, not because we even necessarily like each other anymore. There were only at most three people from college that I would consider real friends and the two I adore and have a good time with live quite far away and I rarely see them or talk to them. The ones whom I could call day or night, tell anything to, and be accepted unconditionally by are without exception old boyfriends. And simply because they ARE old boyfriends I can't call because it's taking advantage of the fact that they still love me! It would be saying I won't give them the love they want but I expect them to drop everything and be there for me, and I won't do that. It's almost worse than not having anyone at all- knowing that there's someone who would give anything to be your best friend and you have to turn away from it.

Bah, enough of the self-pity fest. Sorry.

: :lol:

The good news, and the thing that's kept me sane for the last several years, is that I do have a huge and tight-knit group of friends who are there for me 24 hours a day. When I get a new job, when I lose a horse, when living at home is irritating me or Kody does something funny, I can share it with them and feel warm and accepted. Thank God for Lil' Beginnings!!

I have been called weird outright by several people who just can't grasp this concept and had a lot of fingers shook at me through out the years including my own mother saying no man should ever come between me and my spouse. 
On a general note, I do enjoy a variety of relationships with many people but could just as easily be a hermit too.  I've always been very independent and can fit in just about anywhere I want to be.   I won’t do high maintenance relationships with troubled people and those types always remain distant aquaintances, if acknowleged at all, because they tend to suck the life out of everyone they are around.  If someone does come into my inner circle of close friends they've had to earn it and have excellent character.  I have zero tolerance for drama queens/kings, moochers, liars, whiners, passive-agressive cowards and users. I'm extremely picky who I associate with and won’t be friends with just anyone.

Nah, I get that. Some relationships don't fit the socially acceptable mold but are true and honest and there's just no explaining them to people. Those are the ones you either try not to mention or if you're brave and confident simply make no excuses for and if someone gets upset that's their problem. I still need to work on that! LOL

I respect your description in the last paragraph. :aktion033: Good for you!

Leia

 

[Jenn]

I've known my BFF for 10 years and it's her fault my family got into miniature horses. But I love her anyway. She's the sister my parents never gave me and I like her grandparents better than I like my own.

My other best friends are my mom and my husband.

 

[Feather1414]

My best friends right now, well I consider myself to have 3 of them.

Sarah, is the best gal pal a person could ask for. She is always there for me, we hang out all the time, the guys we are dating are best friends and we just have such a close connection. We show horses together even, and it's all just so much fun. Here is Sarah and I.

Next would be my best guy friend Levi. We are born 3 days apart, me June 28th, him June 25th and our personalities are so much alike. We both love music, hanging out, stars, talking and we have more in common that I wouldn't care to share on a forum, with personal lives and what not. I don't have any pictures of him and I, as it's hard enough just photographing him.

Last but not least would be my boyfriend Chris. We have been close friends for so long. I can talk to him about anything, we are both really competitive, rather hyper, think stupid things are funny. We just get along really well, which is good since we are dating.

Yea, I love my friends.

 

[EAD Minis]

My best friend and I met in kindergarten after she smashed my front teeth out with a wooden barn we were fighting over

: . She's awsome!!She is so funny and shes always there to give good advice and to pull me out of the situations I get myself into

: . She likes horses and is always there to hold roy for me. I will always be there for her and hope we can continue to be friends.

:

 

[chandab]

While friends have come and gone from my life; my best friend and I have know each other for over 30 years. We met when I was in first grade and she was in third grade. I moved half-way across the state 6 years after we met, then she moved to another state; although, we haven't kept in touch the best, when we do get together it's like we were never apart, we can just fall into our old relationship like nothing has happened. She was my matron of honor at my wedding. Unfortunately, I couldn't get to her wedding; there were just too many miles and difficult circumstances at the time.

 

[nootka]

I love these stories!

Esp. the one about the smashing of the front teeth w/the barn. Priceless and I'm glad it yielded such a great gift as a best friend.

Leia, I think you are definitely best friend material, and I just wish I knew you better, but I know there's someone out there for ya and yep, LB is a great place. Been coming here since 1997 (May) thanks to one of my "best friends".

Jenn, I would guess your best friend's name may start w/a K. If so, I agree, her grandparents rule, and I only met them once.

Liz

 

[luvmycritters]

[SIZE=10pt]Many friends have come and gone in my life as well, that is to be expected at my age though. My best friend I met in eleventh grade and we are still best friends to this day. We live different lives, but she has always been there for me and I would like to think vise - versa. We have gone through so much together - we should write a book! But then I am sure lots of folks could say the same. What a great thread, Lori[/SIZE]

 

[DancinWithDiamonds]

What a great thread!! So many great stories... I met my best friend when I was in 9th grade. We were friends, but it wasn't until grade 11 where we really becamce best friend. We stayed in the same city for University, but each went to a different school. Her parents moved before her 2nd year, so she lived with us for a year before going on an exchange to Germany. We had season tickets to the junior hockey team together, and we went on "dates" at least twice a week.

We are complete opposites, she studie European and Russian studies, and is starting her Master's in the fall, eventually wants to do her PhD, I study Human Kinetics, and will start working once I've graduated next spring. I'm a country girl, she's a city girl. She is very cultured, into politics, fashion, the whole nice yards. I'm simple, love to stay at home and play with the horses, athletic, and has NO clue what the current fashions are

It amazes people how well we get along. Our personalities must compliment each other. I couldn't imagine my life with her. She's moving in the fall, which will be tough, since we are closer now than we've ever been. We've realized we are growing up, and are completely scared about the whole idea!! We've got some great stories, and she's always said she will write a book about it eventually....I'm sure many BFFs have similar circumstances.

Love the stories, keep 'em coming!!

 

[Jill]

Okay, at the risk of looking pathetic to a lot of people, here is my best friend.

When I'm not at the office -- and sometimes even at the office -- he is always with me. Always happy to see me and just wants to be with me period. AND vice versa! Even when I'm taking a bath, he's waiting for me on the bath mat. He is my constant companion.

I have other close friends like Harvey who's my husband, my family (Mom, Dad and sister, Robin), CKC / Kim here is also a wonderful friend but as far as who I spend the most time with -- it would be my Winston.

 

[backwoodsnanny]

Well there have been those whom I called Best friend at different times in my life but my best friend for the last 31 years doesnt even live in the same country never has. We met when her youngest was 9 months old and my youngest was 3. All of us in those days were avid stock car fans. My hubby was driving at a local track and since I was always alone with my kids we finally staged a revolt and found a camp ground near the track. The kids and I would go to the campground and hang out until race time. My son then 6 met her son also then 6 at the campground playground and brought him back to the camper to meet mom. He said his new found friend was from Canada. For whatever reason at the time the only Canadians I knew were French so I asked Oh are you French? To which he replied I dont know Ill go ask. The two boys disappeared before I could stop them and Im thinking Oh great now I am going to look so stupid. Anyway we have had lots of laughs over this over the years and no they are not French but of Scottish decent not that it would have mattered. We have shared so much. Weddings funerals good times and bad. The loss of her Dad the loss of my mom just so many things the worst the loss of her youngest son. The best probably the weddings of her other 3 boys and my two children. Their 25th anniversary our 25th anniversary just so many things. Next year is their 40th and Im sure we will make another memory and the year after is ours. Thanks to the internet we are able to talk every day. We live 3 1/2 hours apart but there is never a time when we feel any further away than next door. To me though I have other friends that mean alot to me my Best friend is like a sister only better. And no she is not horsie but does love to see the babies. Makes a trip when ever we have a new one. I love my husband but can talk to my friend about him which I cant do with him LOL

 

[BRONSKIMAN]

What a lovely thread!! I have really enjoyed reading it, thanks so much for all your posts.

 

[kaykay]

We tend to move every 5 years so I consider myself lucky to have a lot of best friends

And I have some very dear friends some i have met and some i havent here on the forum. It amazes me what a close friendship you can have with someone you have never met face to face. I think Fran and I are a great example of that. We met here on the forum talking about horses. Then all of a sudden I found out we were moving to ohio! Then we hubby picked a house not far at all from hers!! I still remember the first day we met in my new house with everything in total disarray. We just immediately clicked!! There was not one awkward moment and my hubby said you would have thought we had known each other forever!

Another great friend that i miss dearly is ginny boyle (ginia on the forum) I met her after buying my first miniatures and again we just clicked. One of the very first times i met her was when i lost my beloved mini shadow. Here we barely knew each other and we were both crying our eyes out. as our friendship grew we are both brutally honest and knew we could say anything to each other and not cause hurt feelings. Even about each others horses which is really rare lol. We still email and chat on the phone and im hoping she comes to visit the new place soon. Shes been thru a lot with me and its a friendship i will always value.

I dont think I could call just one "best" because they are all so different and all so great in their own way. I dont demand anything of my friendships. They all seem to suit me in a different way and thats what I love.

For sure though i would have to say my absolute best friend is my husband of 21 years. We just celebrated our anniversary and he said "wow we have now been married to each other for half our lives" (im 42) He knows me like no one else on this earth could ever know me.

 

[jdomep]

What a nice post

Barbie and I have been BEST FRIENDS for 38 years (we met at 2 and have been best busds ever since) We have been through so much together her dsd died when we were 10 - her mom ended up with a major drug problem, my parents divorced...I sold my first horse to buy her something she needed (and I would do it again in a second). She is, in my heart, my sister. She lives in OH and me in PA (we both grew up in Florida) and we still speak often and if I need her I call. If I hear a song that makes me remember 1983 I call laughing " Hey barb do you remember....." I don't get to see her much but still love her dearly - we share so much.

Now...I am one of those people who is very picky about who I "let in" to know the real me. I have lots of casual friends but other than my wonderful husband (who is the ultimate #1 friend!) I have finally met a great girl (yep even at 40 we are "girls"

: ) who is the neatest friend - it has been 20 years since I have had a "fun friend" close by just to be silly with, cry with and enjoy being a girl with. I always tell Barbie how much fun she and Kari and I would have if we ever got together LOL.- may be someday

 

[nootka]

This is so fun to read.

Still, I think Jill gets the award for the best-looking and least judgmental best friend. *grins*

I just talked to my best friend today and sadly she won't be joining us for the Fourth (has to work the next day), as in most of the years past, especially considering the company we may be having it would be good to have her there for support! *LOL* But we had a good talk and it's always nice to have those people around you that you needn't stand on ceremony with (aka those who can come in when the house is a mess).

Thanks for sharing the best friends/friends and keep 'em coming...

Liz