As of this morning at 11:30, it's been 28 YEARS....

[Miniv]

that Larry and I have been officially married. (We often add the previous two years of being together....if you know what I mean.....

: )

Our 30 year old nephew is thinking of popping the question and he asked each of us SEPERATELY what we thought were the most important things that made a marriage LAST.......

Our nephew told me it was scarey what we answered, because we both said basically the same things! And Larry even said something a little extra that was amazing......

:

So......what would you folks have said????

MA

 

[Jenn]

Laughter ... the ability to laugh at yourself, and at each other.

Oh, and communication.

 

[Crabby-Chicken]

I will definately agree with Jenn.... Of all the crap and things that can and do go wrong, mine can still make me laugh.

I have exactly four months left on my 20 year warranty left on him. And I guess if I keep him that long, I can't return him to the used husband store. If you take things too seriously, then everything is so much bleaker. Because you really can get through just about anything.

They have to be honest with each up front what they can not ever forgive and then the rest takes care of itself.

 

[pineyoaks miniatures]

HONESTY AND TO ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE BOTH STILL INDIVIDUALS WITH DIFFERENT LIKES AND DISLIKES.

MARRIAGE IS TWO INDIVIDUALS THAT COMPLETE EACH OTHER

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

I WILL BE GOING ON MY 32ND THIS MAY AND EVEN WITH ALL THE TIMES WE'VE HAD TO START FROM SCRATCH I HAVE ALWAYS SAID, AS LONG AS WE HAVE EACH OTHER AND OUR HEALTH EVERYTHING ELSE IS JUST MATERIAL STUFF THAT CAN BE REPLACED.

 

[Buckskin gal]

My hubby and I have been married 48 years and I think commintment is very necessary in a marriage. Too many marry and think if it doesn't go right, what the heck try another!

And each must give at least 90% :bgrin Mary

 

[Sterling]

Congratulations!!! How wonderful!! There are alot of factors that come into play to make a mariage work. The ones I can think of are (and not necessarily in this order)...communication, trust, admiration and one thing I think alot of couples tend to lose is respect. Always treat your significant other with respect and kindness.....that goes a LONG way!

:

 

[lyn_j]

Barry and I were married 29 years Dec 10th. It has not always been easy but we were both comitted to the Lord first. to each other second so our marriage was really a threesome not just the two of us. There were times when we didnt like each other for a bit but because we promised God and each other that this was forever, we learned to deal, went to some councelling once and we are better friends now than ever before. You can still love some one and not "like" them all the time.... Comitment comes first..... We comitted our lives to God, He told us to marry each other without a doubt and that was the glue that kept us together. Three children two grandchildren and assorted animal roomates later. Life is great! Our 30s and early 40s were the toughest (15-20 years ago but , when I finally knew who I was and who he was... we worked everything out and actually enjoy being together more and more. He lets me be me. Hes not an animal-holic like I am but her lets me do my thing. For that Im eternally grateful! I talk alot, he is quiet. I would spend all of our money he keeps me anchored..... we serve God better together than individually and thats why we got married in the first place. We were friends first, then lovers. I think that makes a big difference.

Lyn

 

[REO]

MA, I would love to know what you and Larry each had to say!

:

Me and my hubby, going on 20 years without our first fight yet.

 

[CyndiM]

[SIZE=14pt]Congratulations! [/SIZE]

 

[HobbsFarm]

[SIZE=12pt]My hubby and I have only been married six years. It took us a bit longer to find each other than most! I guess most importantly, marry your best friend! Be honest with each other, never go to bed upset with each other, make sure you laugh together, try to out-do your spouse in the kindness department and put God first in your marriage. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Hubby and I get along great and we never fight. I still have a long way to go to catch up with Robin though!! 20 years...whew! :aktion033: Shannon

[/SIZE]

 

[Sonya]

I think there are many factors, but I think compromise and communication are the most important.

Congratulations for 28 years. Good luck to your nephew, just by asking the question to you, I think he is on a good path to making his future marriage a success.

 

[ChrystalPaths]

Oh Maryann, I wish you both years more of trust, happiness and good humor. Not having a good marriage myself, I can say imho the best things to strive for in a marriage is :

HONESTY almost to a painful point but not to hurt,

COURTESY be kind and respectful to each other...if we can be courteous and polite to others we should be more so at home,

GOOD HUMOR and the ability to laugh thru the good and the bad,

FINANCIAL sharing..not his mine but ours

CONVERSATION/COMMUNICATION...we begin not having enough words to say all we think and feel then get complacent and the words just dry up and fall like autumn leaves, and mostly

INDEPENDENCE...don't let the other become the world; keep some of one's "self" and that spark wil always be there.

I wish you well forever and since I do know what Larry's reply was I will agree that is probably one of the hugest things...tell em MA....

:

 

[bcody]

Falling in many, many times. Always with the same person.

 

[Just Us N Texas]

My late husband and I were married for 32 years. It was a great one! We loved each other, put the other first, and were great friends. We grew up together, and had the understanding that we were individuals and agreed to disagree. My wise old uncle once told me that marriage was a 90/10 compromise, both sides. I thought he was silly at the time, but after a couple of years of marriage, I knew he was right. Jerry and I have now been married 8 years at the end of January, and it is also a good marriage. We were good friends before, and remain so now. I think friendship is one of the main ingredients in a good marriage.

 

[Cathy_H]

:aktion033: Congratulations! :aktion033: Lee & I are coming upon 37 years............. As for a successful marriage---- HONESTY in all things.......... RESPECT- & to keep that respect do not do anything that you might not be willing to forgive your partner for......... No putting down your spouse or airing your problems in public............. COMMUNICATION........ APPRECIATION - Genuine interest in your partner - this is shown by little things that are done, not by dinner out & presents..............$$$$ - being on the same page when it comes to the budget, goals, spending, savings etc................................ I have often said that lots of things can be changed or taken away from you without your input BUT the one thing that outside forces CANNOT take is the loving relationship that you & your spouse have together. ............All the other things mentioned above.

 

[Bassett]

It will be 45 years for Duane and I on February 27, 2007. We went together for 4 months only when we got married. You all have hit the nail on the head. I think Respect is the main thing. I can only think of the arguments we've had on 1 hand. Have 2 wonderful sons 1 beautiful daughter-in-law and 2 awesome granddaughters. Now we are dealing with senile dementia which is very hard. He is 14 years older than I am and always told everyone he wanted me so he could train me. :lol: But I was 19 and KNEW what I wanted.

: He is a very kind, gentle man. Hard to beat for a husband.

:

 

[lovinarabs]

I'm with whomever said to marry your best friend. Be supportive of each other, compassionate and honest. Respect comes with those things. And definitely, laughter. It has gotten us through many a tough spot. Celebrating 10 years this summer. Wahoo!

 

[twister]

:aktion033: Congratulations! I agree with the others respect, communication and shared laughter. I also think you should have some shared likes and some different likes/activities etc, you don't have to be in each other's pockets 24/7/365 to have a good marriage. My husband and I will be celebrating 39 years next April and we are still enjoying each others company :bgrin

Yvonne

 

[Miniv]

:aktion033: YOU ALL BASICALLY SAID IT!!!

Larry and I both put Being Best Friends at the top of the list.

After that, Laughter, Respect, Loyalty, Communication..........

What Larry added to the list was actually a question. He asked our nephew that if anything bad happened and they couldn't have sex again, would he be okay with that?

It was that last bit that blew me away.

MA

 

[ChrystalPaths]

:aktion033:

What Larry added to the list was actually a question. He asked our nephew that if anything bad happened and they couldn't have sex again, would he be okay with that?

It was that last bit that blew me away.

MA

I agree that is probably tricky kicker...physical love is a huge part of sharing a life in marriage but if you can still live with and love them without that sex part of life....you are meant for each other.

: I assume he said he could and wedding will go forward eh?

: