Bassett
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Thought this was funny.
Don't force him to go shopping....
After Mr. & Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton
Insisted her husband accompany her on her trips
To Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most
Men--he found shopping boring & preferred to get in
& get out.
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women
--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the
Following letter from her local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing
Quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this
Behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the
Store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and
Are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of dog food and randomly put
Them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go
Off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
Leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
Official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put
A bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a
Carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department
& told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would
Bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help
Him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people
Just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera &used
It as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the Hunting department,
He asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while
Loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the Auto department, he practiced his
"Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
Browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
Speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed
"OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least -
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door,
Waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no
Toilet paper in here!"
Regards,
Wal-Mart
Don't force him to go shopping....
After Mr. & Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton
Insisted her husband accompany her on her trips
To Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most
Men--he found shopping boring & preferred to get in
& get out.
Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women
--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the
Following letter from her local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing
Quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this
Behavior and may be forced to ban both of you from the
Store. Our complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below and
Are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of dog food and randomly put
Them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go
Off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
Leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
Official voice, "Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away."
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put
A bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. September 14: Moved a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a
Carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department
& told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would
Bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help
Him he began crying and screamed, "Why can't you people
Just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera &used
It as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the Hunting department,
He asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while
Loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the Auto department, he practiced his
"Madonna look" by using different sizes of funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people
Browsed through, yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud
Speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed
"OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!"
And last, but not least -
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door,
Waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "Hey! There's no
Toilet paper in here!"
Regards,
Wal-Mart
