Please post the best advice someone ever gave you

[Intexas2stay]

There are SO many wise members of this forum. I see good advice abounding everyday, on many topics. I was hoping that some of you will tell us the best advice, the one or two good things someone told you, that really made a difference. Even better if maybe there is a short story to go along with it? (When I say wise, I do not mean age wise!)

 

[Brandi*]

A former boss used to tell me

"Don't stress over things you can't control". (He told me this because I was stressing over how my family members were treating me)

"People can only make you feel bad if you allow them too" (This meant that people can't make you upset, you choose to be upset)

"If someone or something is a negative force in your life, you have to remove yourself from it or them....even if they are family"

"When you start having success in life you are bound to lose some friends" (This was referring to people who try to hold you back so that they don't feel bad about themselves)

It's funny, but he is the only one I have ever really got advice like this from

And it's really stuck in my head and makes a lot of sense

 

[Jill]

Someone else's success does not detract from your own success.

This mindset has been a blessing to my emotional happiness. I think women especially can fall into a trap of being jealous, even of their friends, and that is just not a fun way to live life.

Another simple but powerful one is Count Your Blessings.

I honestly do this every night before I fall asleep -- part of saying my prayers, and it makes me feel very peaceful and happy to go through and think for a second or two on each of the things I have and appreciate in life.

 

[kaykay]

My oldest sister and I were very very close. We had our daughters at the same time, lived together for a time etc. She was always a person that planned for the future and worried about the future. She was always on me to save more money, focus on your retirement etc etc. We were kinda exact opposites in that respect. Although she made a very good income (single mother) she was always too afraid to enjoy it or spend it.

Then she was diagnosed with stage 5 cancer. She immediately canceled a vacation that her and her daughter had been planning for a year to save money. I begged her to take that vacation but she wouldnt budge.

To make a long story short one of her biggest regrets was not taking that trip with her daughter. Before she died she told me to forget everything she told me about worrying about the future and just live for today and live each day.

Not saying people should be foolish with their money. But I do think you can get so focused on the future that you forget to live today.

And heres a funny one my mom told me years ago when I was just 16. I had a boyfriend that I was writing letters to while he was in boot camp. She said NEVER write in a letter what you wouldnt be comfortable with the whole world reading. I think this is even more appropriate today but insert email for letter LOL. Never put in an email what you wouldnt be comfortable with the whole world seeing!!

 

[ChrystalPaths]

Well, I am always telling people to "breathe". Folks forget in this difficult expensive stressful life to just breathe. Wanna just punch a wall, bang your head on it? Stop, breathe in thru your nose to your belly, then breathe out slowly thru pursed lips, and then again til you feel that calm flow. There ya go.

 

[Jill]

Kay's last paragraph there reminds me of something that effects how I handle things in my own life. It's not "huge" in my life the way the other two pieces of advice I shared are, however, I personally never say something to anyone online or through email that I wouldn't say to their face, nor that would embarrass me or upset me if it was held out for the world to see.

It doesn't happen with me a lot, but when there is a conflict with someone, I have my act together, call it like I see it and get the the bottom if it as efficiently as possible. Once someone threatened to show others what I said to them and I couldn't help but encourage them to do so, since I thought others would see the truth and humor in what I did say. Another time, someone had a meritless threat about legal action and I think got the point in short order that if they really wanted to pursue something with me, they'd have to find something they had a legitimate basis for (basically, they'd better have their ducks in a row and they'd better be right). It can be interesting to see how fast a person gets reasonable when you are confident in how you have conducted yourself. I don't understand why some people tuck their tails when confronted when they've not done anything wrong.

If you only say things you believe in, and feel right about, it keeps things simple and truthful. That doesn't mean being a "yes" person or being fake-sweet, though. Sometimes it's absolutely correct to say something not everyone wants to hear. Just be yourself and don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. But when you do, do it reasonably. Online, in email, on the phone, in person -- I am just me. Like it or not. I sincerely don't want to think as hard as I'd have to in order to have an online me and a real life me

 

[user 488]

[SIZE=12pt]Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt][/SIZE]

Keep your mouth shut because gossiping always comes back to bite you in the rear.

[SIZE=12pt]Don't betray a confidence.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Do not say something about someone that you cannot say to their face.[/SIZE]

 

[lovinarabs]

"You can't help those who won't help themselves." My high school counselor shared this wise tidbit with me when I was stressing over trying to help a friend see the light of day. I'm a "fixer" and want to help everyone with their problems, but some folks just don't want help.

 

[Leeana]

People can only get to you if you allow them to ..there are so many people who are out there for themselves and not everyone has your best interest in mind, but the only way words will hurt you is if you let them, i choose to not let them.

I'm very lucky to have so many great horsie friends that i just love and look up to

.

 

[Sterling]

It's best to be thought a fool than to open your mouth and confirm all doubt.

I carry this one on my email signature line.

 

[woodnldy]

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Be that online or face to face.

 

[OhHorsePee]

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Be that online or face to face.

That's what I always heard also.

I agree. Online or face to face.

 

[KanoasDestiny]

I was always told that people who brag about what they have, or are constantly defending something they do, feel very insecure about themselves. Kinda like they're looking for other people's acceptance, to feel important. I find in most cases this is true.

 

[garyo]

Somewhat horse related but here goes----

A few years ago when Ruth and I first became involved in miniatures we attended a very small clinic hosted by a club we were not members of. All of the other people at the clinic gave us their little pieces of advice through out the day, some good, some not so good. As the clinic drew to a close an older man who identified himself as an equine denist approached Ruth and myself and said: " I have noticed that everyone here has given you advice and I have overheard most of it, so I'm offering you some of my own." He then said, "BE CAREFUL OF WHOM YOU TAKE ADVICE FROM, BECAUSE ALL OF THE PEOPLE HERE ARE YOUR COMPETITION" LOL

That may well be the best bit of advice ever given.

Gary

 

[Slinkky]

[SIZE=18pt]"Make sure the words you speak are sweet, you may have to eat them!"[/SIZE]

Holy cow! Those letters turned out bigger than I expected! Sorry

 

[Intexas2stay]

My mom always told me to be sure I always wore clean underware. You never know who might end up seeing them

 

[Maxi'sMinis]

Well this wasn't advice from a friend but a book. Your Erroneous Zones, this book was very enlightening. Helped me change many things in my life and take control and stop being a door mat. Check it out.

 

[Candice]

Wow, this is amazing. All of you that have posted so far seem to know MY mother. Lots of good advice there and I've heard just about everything here come out of my Mom's mouth. Great Lady!!

Some more great advice that I've given my children:

Treat others as you'd like to be treated.

Practice what you preach.

Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

If you're gonna play, you're gonna pay!

 

[River Wood]

One of my dads sayings that I love.....and it is one of his own sayings.....

Live such that if everyone lived as you there would be no need for soldiers.

 

[Fantasia]

Listen to every piece of advice everyone has to give you. Even if you don't agree. Take what you will use out of it. Store the rest away - you never know when you'll need and you'll be enriched for carrying the knowledge.