Not the news I was expecting

[dixie_belle]

So I waltz into my local surgeon's office this afternoon expecting him to tell me that I need a lumpectomy. All indications are that this cancer was caught early and is quite small. No, he wants to do a mastectomy. what?? I asked him what I would have left and he said I'd have a skin flap. What the heck is that????

Hubby and I are going to Nashville on Thursday to the Vanderbilt Breast Cancer Center for a second opinion with a surgeon there.

I've been crying ever since I got home. Completely blindsided me. And looking at pictures of mastectomies on the internet didn't help. OMG.

Hubby says it'll be ok. How can it be ok? He even suggested I have both removed so I won't have any chance of getting this on the other side. Really??? OMG. I'll be an absolute freak. Of course think of all the money I would save on bras.,,,,food for thought.

If I could stop crying I might be able to think about this rationally, but so far no luck. I am an absolute wreck.

I'm so afraid. Afraid I'll be so unattractive hubby won't love me, afraid I just won't be able to handle it emotionally. OMG.

Unbelievable.

 

[romewhip]

Huge hugs to you. A friend went through this, and because of how aggressive her type was and her family history she opted for a mastectomy, insurance wouldn't let her do both or she would have. don't forget to breathe, and keep breathing- you'll figure out a plan and you need that second opinion first. You have a great hubby there, stop worrying about him and keep taking a deep breath.

 

[Carolyn R]

Hang in there. A child hood friend had to have a double mastectomy done the week before Christmas last year at the age of 37. She was in shock, but determined to do what needed to be done to see her kids grow up. She has finished all her treatments and is on the road to recovery.

My mother is also a breast cancer survivor, having had a mastectomy at 54 years old. Typically insurance will allow for reconstructive surgery In breast cancer patients, my mother opted to just go with a prosthetic. Get the second opinion, but REMEMBER, regardless of the second opinion, you are important to many many people, regardless of missing a leg, hand, arm or boob, they love you no matter what.

I can't help flashing back to seeing my very young daughter wearing my mother's wig, looking like elvis, and carrying her prosthetic around like a birthday cake singing to my mom, a barely legible "happy birthday" . I don't mean to make light of the situation, thinking of it actually makes me tear up, simply because, regardless of the content of my story, my mother did what she had to do and in doing so increased the birthdays she can spend with her loved ones. I feel very blessed to have her in our lives and for her to see her grandkids grow up. Hang in there and remember your friends and family love you no matter what the future carries, do what you need to do to get better and beat this. God bless.

 

[Charley]

So sorry that you were blindsided by this. I hope that Thursday you will hear better news. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[REO]

I'm so sorry about this

HUGE {{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}

 

[Ashley]

I can understand how hard it would be to lose something that is in all essence defining of who you are. Most might say they are just boobs, but they are wrong it can mess with a persons head not having them. That said, yes most insurance will cover getting reconstructive done after the fact.

Lastly, I agree with hubby, if you have one taken take them both to reduce the risk. You will get more looks with just one then none. Sounds like you have a great hubby who is going to love you no matter what and only wants you are for as long as possible!

I feel for you and I couldn't imagine. I am currently watching a friend who has went from having lung cancer to it moving to her brain in a matter of months. The doc hasn't given her much time. From there I watch my gf struggle with this and the fact that her dad's cancer has returned. Cancer is a nasty nasty disease. Thankfully for you breast cancer has a high treatment and survival rate, Good luck and will keep you in our prayers.

 

[misty'smom]

So sorry to hear you are going through this. My sister along with several of my friends have had breast cancer and all have had to have a mastectomy. Breast Cancer is very curable and in most cases a mastectomy is needed. All of them women I know including my sister are not only survivors but healthy and enjoying their lives Cancer free!! You should absolutely get that second opinion though!

Carolyn said it just perfectly........ "you are important to many many people, regardless of missing a leg, hand, arm or boob, they love you no matter what."

Your friends and family love you no matter what and want you healthy and happy!! I am sure you are still in shock and need some time to adjust but....... when you are ready you need to get strong and kick Cancer in the butt!!!!!!!!! I will keep you in my prayers...............

 

[Mona]

My Mom had so many lumpectomies over the years, she finally just told them to remove both of her breasts...she never had breast cancer. She felt it would be the best thing for her, so she wouldn't have to keep worrying and dealing with the chances of it being breast cancer, since it was so prevalent in her family. She, fortunately, had a very loving, and understanding husband who loved her for her, not for her breasts.

On a sadder note, I knew another lady that had breast cancer, and had to have a breast removed. She was heartbroken...her husband told her she was no longer a "whole" woman and he couldn't love her that way. To men like that, I think any woman would be better off without them! If they love you only for your body, then in my humble opinion they are not worth loving. I just cannot imagine loving my spouse any less because of a health issue causing a part of their body to be removed. I love my husband for him, not for his body parts, and I know he feels the same for me. (as your husband does for you) I truly pity those that have faced instances like the one I described. It's bad enough having to go through such huge turmoil in one's life, and then to have to be faced with a partner who thinks less of you because of a breast removal, is just totally unthinkable and DISGUSTING!

Wishing you all the very best....your husband sounds like he will be a HUGE support for you...you can be sooo thankful for that. Best wishes.

 

[Boss Mare]

Only sending good thoughts your way, hang in there!!

A good friend of mine was diagnosed several months ago. She did courses of radiation and chemo.. Had infection after infection and she still worked hard every day, never complained.. Laughed and joked often. Even being a single

mother to a 22 and 7 y/o she had a good support base in friends, family and co-workers.

Two weeks ago she had a mastectomy in one breast, was fitted with her prosthetic bra and made me feel it as she was showing it off. Her humor keeps her spirits high.

Insurance wouldn't cover both breasts at once. If it were me I would opt for both. After a year of healing she can go in for reconstructive surgery if she chooses. She is already joking about the size she wants her new perky boobs.. Anything to keep her from breaking down.

You're not a freak. Beauty is skin deep. Hang in there.

 

[shorthorsemom]

hugs. Your lil beginnings friends will stick with you through this whole experience... trust us on that because all of us know that it could be one of us at any time. The women I have known that have gone through this experience have been very pleased with the reconstuction and how things look once the entire ordeal is complete, like getting a present for going through all the surgeries and recoveries. My grandmother was a breast cancer survivor and I remember her making jokes her whole life about being lopsided. She lived into her 90's. Bless you for sharing your story with us, teaches all of us a lesson in sharing and caring.

 

[Performancemini]

shorthorsemom is right-you have many loving friends on here-and your husband sounds like he will be a huge support to you. Every woman fears what you are going through. I feel some of your fear coming through and want to cry-but I will pray for you. Though I don't know you personally- I now reach out to you through the forum to add to the love of others on this forum. We love you!

 

[Debby - LB]

{{{{{ hugs }}}}} you are in my thoughts and prayers. Please don't be sad and don't let this knock you down. It sounds like you have a good sense of humor and a wonderful husband so please grab both and don't let go. I'm so very sorry this is happening to you.

 

[Miniv]

Prayers and blessings are with you.....Your husband sounds awesome with this. Lean on him and thank him. You have a special guy. Glad you're getting a second opinion. And remember there is reconstructive surgery available.

This is a fear every woman has, IMO. Thank you for sharing yours....

 

[sfmini]

I am so sorry you are going through this.

I have heard of the reconstruction surgery being performed at the same time as the mastectomy. Also, get tested for the breast cancer gene, insurance might cover for both in that case.

Hang in there and best of luck on your second opinion.

 

[Riverrose28]

So sorry to hear this news. Lean on your hubby he sounds very loving and supportive.