Making too much of it?

[Lisa]

We had a family reunion today and my cousin who had a baby this spring came of course. I asked when we first arrived if i could hold her son and she said "we kind of have this sitting to hold him rule".

That's fine, bit paranoid, but whatever, your kid. Until I saw my sister holding him while standing. So i went and said "what happened to the sitting rule?", she responded: "she has her own kid, you don't".

I said that I'm quite capable of holding a child, just because

I don't have one, doesn't mean I can't hold a baby while standing up. I've done it numerous times. She responded that because I accidentally poked her too hard when she was pregnant (trying to get the baby to move) and "you hurt me and my baby", how could she trust me not to hurt him now? and her boyfriend piped up and said "do you have your own child? no, there you go"

Then, later on, I saw her brother who doesn't have a kid, holding him standing up too.

I didn't bother to say anything, but I was really hurt by it. I almost feel like since I'm the only woman in the family without a kid that I'm not as much of a woman as the rest of then, like they all are in a club that I'm not part of and that just kind of made it hit home more.

My mom talked to her and she said that she was joking, but her tone and the fact that she wouldn't let me made it clear that she wasn't.

I asked my grandma at one point if i could hold him, she let me, so I got him from her arms, and walked back over to my chair. My cousin got up from her chair as if she were going to take him because I was OMG standing while holding him for a moment. She said "you stealing my baby?" I said that I asked and she let it go for a sec, then came and got him and said "we're going for a walk" and took him.

Am I making too much of the situation by being hurt? I know he's her kid and her rules, but she's two years younger than me and I am just as capable of holding a baby as she is. She did not miraculously get to be SuperMom just because she had a kid and I don't.

 

[Marty]

Since she seemed to be letting everyone else hold her baby except you, I'd say that was pretty much a direct insult so yes I suppose she is sending you a message by her actions. Its understandable that you are hurt.

 

[Miniv]

Yes, there was a rude message sent. And it was hurtful. I hope you don't dwell on it, though....... The woman was being silly and petty. She was also being the focus of attention because of her new baby. She was the "big frog in a little pond" at a family reunion, and playing the role to the hilt.

 

[Brandi*]

OH man I would be mad

When I get "hurt" the claws come out lol!

I'm sorry she treated you like that

Someone once told me that I shouldn't get upset over things out of my control. So next time I just wouldn't even pay any attention to her or her baby. She knows she hurt you! And when you confronted her she didn't change her tune either

So very rude IMO

My family is the opposite. They get upset at me because I don't offer to hold their babies. They actually get offended even though they know I am not big on babies

 

[REO]

I don't blame you for being hurt Lisa.

We live in a different state as our families and we went home to visit. My sister had a toddler, our neice. We were getting to know her and she wanted a bite of fruit. I handed it to her. As she was going to eat it my sister stomped over there and slapped it out of her hand! HARD! Poor baby cried. I asked why she did that and she said she thought I had gotten the fruit from the floor. WHAT??? She actually thought I'd give the baby food from the floor? That was 20 years ago and it still bugs me that she thought that of me, her sister. But then she didn't let her hubby hold his daughter much either.

<rolls eyes>

Just realize that some new moms are like that.

 

[Sonya]

I can understand why you'd be hurt. Next time you see her, I wouldn't ask to hold the baby. It's a shame for you and the baby, but if she's going to be a witch, best to not even ask.

I am like Brandi, I do not like to hold babies and when most people ask me to I just say I don't feel comfortable holding him/her. It's not because I'm afraid to, or that I don't like babies, I'm just not into them much. I do not go googoo gaga over children. I suppose it's because I'm 39 and never had kids. I'm very set in my ways and normaly, to be honest, any children I see to me are just annoying. No flames please...I know in reality they are not!

 

[Jill]

I would just let it go. The alternative is to keep letting it bother you, because you're probably not going to change how she wants to be. Try and not let her actions yesterday have that power over you.

I'm another one who doesn't really want to hold a baby (I'm sure if I had my own, I'd love to hold him or her, but not others... feels totally out of my element).

 

[Fantasia]

Yeah - that was a direct insult. Been there too, except it backfired on her when I immeadiately realised what the mummy was up to and went and cuddled the cat instead!!!!!

I'm not a huge "kiddy" person either. Interesting to see that people with furbabies are often not human baby orientated isn't it??? I have all the patience in the world for my foals - kids? FORGET IT and get them away from me!!!

So just think of all the wonderful things YOU have done with your animals over the years that your sister could never do. And how richer your life is for having the understanding for those that can't speak for themselves. No matter what non-animal people think, those who work with animals have an education in people they will never have

Don't let it get to you

 

[Basketmiss]

I would have been so hurt but I wouldnt have given her the satisfaction of asking twice. She was insulting you, for whatever reason, I bet if you blow them off, she will all of a sudden be saying "dont you like my baby" Some people are just weird like that.. If you act like you dont care, here they come running...

I love babies and cant hold enough of them, usually people are flattered that someone wants to hold and give their baby attention...

Dont worry about it, just move on and know next time to ignore her... IMO

 

[bingo]

I am not sure I would be dwelling on it to much. While I realize you feel very justified in your reaction you have to understand that for whatever reason she feels equally as justified in her own.

 

[capall beag]

Per your description, I would say your cousin is very odd!

Seems like she is very childish and silly.

I wouldn't allow someone like that to bother me.

I would completely ignore the whole thing. People can become very strange when they become mothers

 

[minie812]

Let it go she isn't worth it with that childish attitude...I quit the family reunions along time ago because of all the crap that went on at them (there was more fighting then a nice get together) No wonder I prefer my animal friends to family.

 

[chandab]

I am like Brandi, I do not like to hold babies and when most people ask me to I just say I don't feel comfortable holding him/her. It's not because I'm afraid to, or that I don't like babies, I'm just not into them much. I do not go googoo gaga over children. I suppose it's because I'm 39 and never had kids. I'm very set in my ways and normaly, to be honest, any children I see to me are just annoying. No flames please...I know in reality they are not!

I could have written this, as I'm 38 today, and no kids. I just don't care to hold someone else's kids and I don't go gaga over them. I did hold my nephew, very briefly, when my sister visited, but she understands I'm not big on little kids.

I was at a social function a couple years ago and a family friend (in-laws' friend) forced their kid on me,

it took about 2 secs before another family friend took her from me, as the second person could clearly see, I wasn't comfortable.

 

[wade3504]

You and I must belong to the same club. I am the only woman in my family with no child and therefore I know nothing. Now I've worked with children of all ages for the past 10 years but I guess that doesn't count. Apparently once you give birth you become an expert-at least with my sister and sister in law

. I agree with you, I'd be hurt.

I think she'll eventually get over it though as my relatives have let up a little now, especially when Grandma says she can't babysit.

Amanda

 

[Brandi*]

LOL my family gets offended and says " I can't believe your ok with animal poop and throw up but you are disgusted by my babies spit up"!!!!!!

:wacko

I just tell them that it's their baby and "no, I don't want anything to do with their spit up"

I'd take animal poop any day over spit up

 

[Reijel's Mom]

It sounds to me like your cousin has something against you personally!

 

[Lisa]

It sounds to me like your cousin has something against you personally!

Yes, I am thinking that too...

Thanks for the support everyone!

 

[CyndiM]

I agree with the others....ignore her and the baby the next time you are around them and she will be begging you to give her and her baby attention.

I know you felt hurt but try not to let it bother you anymore she was being petty and foolish.

 

[Lisa]

I talked to my grandma tonight and found out why she treated me like this. She is immature, plain and simple. Apparently it was because I asked to hold him when they first got there and she wanted to show him off and was afraid that if I was seen holding him, people would think he's mine. So, instead of saying "I actually just got here and wanted to introduce him to everyone. Did you want to hold him a bit later?" In which case I would have said sure, she decided to treat me like that!

 

[Brandi*]

Wow that is immature! Yes just ignore her next time. It's not worth your time. The baby will not suffer if it does not have your attention.....but she will I'm sure

Sorry she's treating you like that