Feeling sorry for myself.....

[Shari]

Am so feeling sorry for myself....mooping around which isn't like me.

I already deal with Myofacial pain, which has had me limping along, I still got things done, well at least did a few things. But I was sort'a got used to being a part gimp.

Then I had to be a dang gum doofus, and trip over my own two feet, fell down twisting that leg funny..... lets see... over a month ago now. Tore something up on the right side of my knee. Doc just kept saying it was nothing it will heal.

Then last week, he said it is not healing is it. Like no....da... Wanted to say that but didn't.

So went to get a MRI yesterday, Tech let me see the MRI,, Doc is going to be suprised there is so much fluid in my knee and lower leg, among other things.

The soonest the Doc can see me is next Wed.

After two weeks I started riding again, and I was very careful riding only short periods of time,, like 10 minutes. I do not want to get totally out of shape. Used a Big bucket to use to get on and off them. Am wearing a brace with metal hinges to keep the knee area stable. So riding did not bother me any more than siting down does.

Christopher had to go get the horse I was going to ride that day for me.

Was taking some Advil at the time. The other stronger meds make me sick, so that was no help.

I want to go to the Fall home and Garden show, but there is not way I could walk that at all. ...

Now If I could have Maggie cart me around all would be OK.. but then am sure they don't let horses, even minis at the show, not that I would be able to get her there anyway..

Now my lower knee is hurting to the point I don't want to walk on it.

Am bored, feeling very sorry for myself. Just can't get motivated to do anything today.

Could finish that painting I am working on, or the Counted Cross stitch......Could hobble out and feed Maggie more treats....

Why I am knuckle dragging so badly??

 

[ChrystalPaths]

Oh Sweetie, welcome to our PainPals club. So many of us deal with incredible pain. I hate to say we have learned to live with it but many of us have. I think my knees are about the only thing that doesn't hurt me but can imagine how very limiting it can be. Do your cross stitch, have a galss of wine and feel free to "whine". Sending healing thoughts and warm hugs. I hope Wednesday comes quickly, stay as busy as you can and keep the leg up.

 

[CAM]

Hang in there. You have had alot going on it seems, and being in pain as you are, if you are a normally active person, could get anyone down. How is your weather? I am always more apt to want to hunker down and watch a good movie if it is winter-like weather. Think it is harder to hold still when it is sunny too unless you can grab a good book (or crosstitch) and sit in the shade under a tree by the horses. My horses always get my spirits up. Just a thought. Good luck at the doctor next week. Probably the more you stay off it the better I would guess, but only my opinion.

 

[Miniv]

Debra made a good point about the weather. If it's gloomy outside, it doesn't help.

The other point is your pain. My mother was in constant pain for a long long time (it turned out to be a brain tumor) and the pain turned one strong optimistic positive person almost suicidal!

Shari, you might consider checking out a medical pain specialist. They are trained in different therapies on how to handle chronic pain -- not just with doping you up. What you want is some sort of quality of life! And you have every right to have it. (I just wish those specialists had been around back when my mom needed them.)

Blessings,

MA

 

[Horse Hugs]

Since I have been dealing with chronic pain for quite awhile, also, I can understand what you are going through. You have every right to feel gloomy, but the key to survival is not dwelling on it. I always hate it when people tell me to keep busy and keep my mind off the pain, but, it actually is a good advice. Prop your knee up on some pillows and put on a good movie that you have been wanting to see, or get into a good novel. Make sure you have some good comfort food and relax. You deserve a break. Try to use the time for something special- pamper yourself a little- maybe take a nice long bubble bath. I hope you feel better soon.

 

[Shari]

Thanks everyone, really appreciate all the kind thoughts and ideas!.

Ya, it has been grey here today, and right now we have heavy rain with a bit of hail.

I was resigned to the Chronic pain.

But hurting my knee just made everything worse. Before I hurt my knee I could at least putter about, now I can't really even do that. Sigh ~ ~ Feel like I have been hog tied. Has been a bit over 4 weeks...and I was told it could take 6 months for my knee to heal!!

MA, have been trying to get the military insurance to do such as that, but all they seem to want to do is offer more pills that my system can't handle.

I now have to find another new PCM Doc, so maybe the next one will be more likely to listen.

Guess part of me is scared that my knee will not heal, and will just add more pain to what I already have to deal with.

 

[susanne]

Hey, Shari...

Not to sound like Pollyanna, but...there are a couple of HUGE positives that I read in your post:

1. Your doctor can't claim that there is nothing wrong, that it's all in your head. Now that there is proof, the cause of your pain can be addressed.

2. You can RIDE! I remember back awhile when you talked about never being able to ride again, which made me so sad. Then you got your big mares, and now Dyfra is calming down so that she is more trustworthy...And you can ride without causing further pain...

3. While you may not be able to drive Maggie at the Home and Garden Show, you could take her other places to drive

(...and by the way, did you check to see if the H&G show has carts that you could drive around in?)

Take care...

 

[Shari]

I know Susanne, just hurting so much today, to the point I do not even want to try walking. Sigh ~ ~

<LOL> that would be different won't it,,a Doc that can't say there is nothing wrong.

Yes, I will keep riding (Doc said it was not a good idea), or at least try too, being careful not to hurt that leg any more. Was up to riding 1 to 1 2/2 hours before I hurt my leg. Now I am trying to be happy with riding just 10 minutes.

Luckily DS is homeschooled, so I do have help. But I also feel bad I can't take him to Archery, or SCA or any of that stuff right now.

No, I did not check to see if the home and Garden show had carts to ride around in.

When I went to the spring one, I did not see that they had them. But I guess I could do some searching on line to find out.

Think I need a nice hot cup of Hot cocoa!

 

[Marty]

Then I had to be a dang gum doofus

As long as you gotta dad gum in you, I think you're going to be alright.

And it surely is ok to have a bad day and gripe about it and vent about it and feel sorry for yourself. And yes I think the gloomey weather has a lot of affect on us. It's been rainy and misty and chilly and dark and foggy here now for 2 days and I'm on my third cup of hot tea. Things will get better. They really will.

 

[rabbitsfizz]

You poor old thing you, welcome to the club, here you are allowed to whinge as much as you like and all you will get is understanding and big {{{CYBER HUGS}}} all soft and fluffy around you like a big old feather bed quilt. Lie back and let us take some of your pain for you.

Real positive actual thing you can do?? Go out and buy yourself a "Daylight" light bulb- heck, get two or three!! Have one, at least over the computer or wherever you sit the most, then you will at least be getting your daylight fix in these gloomy months ahead!! If we can avoid "SAD" on top of everything else, it is a start.

 

[runamuk]

Thanks everyone, really appreciate all the kind thoughts and ideas!.
Ya, it has been grey here today, and right now we have heavy rain with a bit of hail. 

I was resigned to the Chronic pain. 

But hurting my knee just made everything worse. Before I hurt my knee I could at least putter about, now I can't really even do that.  Sigh ~ ~ Feel like I have been hog tied. Has been a bit over 4 weeks...and I was told it could take 6 months for my knee to heal!!

MA, have been trying to get the military insurance to do such as that, but all they seem to want to do is offer more pills that my system can't handle.

I now have to find another new PCM Doc, so maybe the next one will be more likely to listen.

Guess part of me is scared that my knee will not heal, and will just add more pain to what I already have to deal with. 

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I remember when I was one of the pain pals ...and well gloomy days don't help. BUT try to relax get as comfortable as possible with a warm throw a good book and some hot tea and listen to the rain....strangely the sound of heavy rain can have a nice soothing effect if you let it.......forget your farm and all your responsibilities...... just get engrossed in the sound of the rain the smell of the tea and the story in the book......believe it or not that technique may have saved me from offing myself on several occasions.......it doesn't make the pain go away permanently but you might get a 3 hour mini vacation...and more importantly you will give yourself a mental break........I do understand the year prior to my surgery I kept asking people to put me out of my misery......told them no one would let an animal go on like that ever.......but I always had a little bit of that "dad gum" in me.......and I will be a pain pal member again sadly it is only a matter of time and predestined

for now I enjoy being able to kinda do things............

 

[Shari]

Runamuk, That is not good.... you should never want to give up that way. <<Hugs>> to you.

Glad the surgery worked for you.

Rabbitfizz, I bought one of those Daylight lamp things at Costco. Will be turning it on today, I am thinking.

Oh Marty, I am a fighter, never really giving up. Just scaried and frustrated that I will not be able to walk. Hurting is getting worse to the point I do not want to even walk.

The other pain I have been sort'a gotten used to as much as someone can.

But at least I could putter around, and feel like I could get at least one thing done a day. Now I can't even do that. Sigh ~ ~

We need to go to the store, I want to go butonly if Hubby Drives, but there is no way my leg could handle walking. I can't drive the car.

Is raining again today, and really wanted to drive Maggie around.

I know the horses will be ok, they sure have enough land to run around on.

DS has been fluffing their coats up between rain storms, when they dry out. So their coats stay nice.

But am still feeling quilty about not working with them... not that I think, that they will really mind for now.