Advice on how to handle a situation

[StarRidgeAcres]

I'll try to keep this generic enough so that hopefully no one ends up offended.

How would you handle this? Someone inquires on a horse. It's not someone you already know. Their email contains a website, so of course that's something I would check out...even before answering their questions. You see something on the site that is a no-no for you. I'm not talking about abuse or dangerous activity,etc. All their horses look extremely well taken care of, etc. But if breeding is what they have in mind, regarding the initial inquiry, then it's not someone I'm going to sell to.

How to handle this? Probably very nice people; horses look great. But some, let's say breeding decisions, don't look like the best ones. How not to offend? If no breeding was involved, I might consider it.

I'm generally not at a loss, but this one has stumped me.

 

[StarRidgeAcres]

Perhaps they are working on improving their breeding program..

Perhaps.

 

[alongman]

Parmela -

I am going to use the same line that I used in another topic post........you are your horses ONLY advocate. Do what is the best for your horse. If your gut has you thinking about it enough to post, then is it the right decision? The horses I have sold, even to people I don't know, it was easy to tell that they were going to good homes - it felt right.

 

[StarRidgeAcres]

Parmela -

I am going to use the same line that I used in another topic post........you are your horses ONLY advocate. Do what is the best for your horse. If your gut has you thinking about it enough to post, then is it the right decision? The horses I have sold, even to people I don't know, it was easy to tell that they were going to good homes - it felt right.

Thank you Adam. I believe you are right. I have decided I am not selling in this particular situation. But how does one tell a buyer, essentially, "the horse isn't for sale to you" but thanks for asking anyway. I could lie and say the horse has already sold, but that isn't right. If I'm honest I'll just offend by saying "the mare isn't for sale if you're going to breed her to that stallion" which would be the honest response..but not very tactful or polite.

Ugh, sometimes I really think selling stinks. I think I'm getting too soft for this. Too soft for breeding myself, too soft for others to breed horses from my farm, too soft to handle all the heartaches that come with these little guys.

 

[Hosscrazy]

Exactly - if your gut says there's something about the situation that you're not comfortable with, then move on. You'll find the right buyer and both you and your horse will be happier in the long run.

Liz N.

 

[Marty]

Why not just be direct and come flat out and ask if the intentions are in fact to breed to their stallion? Then you can say something a little diplomatic like "They don't appear to be a very good match"

 

[StarRidgeAcres]

Thanks everyone for your feedback and advice. I do believe I have to respond and I have to say something. So first I will confirm if breeding is the intention (of course the problem is what someone says now may not be what happens in the future - doesn't mean they lied, just means they changed their mind) and if it's to breed I will just say "not a good match" and leave it at that.

thanks again.

 

[Karen S]

Parmela,

I'm going to put the shoe on the other foot. What if it was you that was the buyer and was looking for a new prospect to breed to your stallion? How do you know that this person hasn't done their homework in regards to breeding lines? You don't know if those lines will cross or not because they have not been done before in the past. It's not our call (as the seller) to tell a buyer as to whether or not those two lines are good crosses or not. The breeder has to find out for themselves. Remember it's a 50/50 breeding here. 50% Stallion and 50% Mare. Most people will blame a Stallion before they blame a Mare for a cross that didn't work. It only takes me one time, sometimes two breedings for a particular pair before I decide whether or not they work. If they don't, then I either find a new cross or sell what I have. If those horses are being taken care of then as a seller you really don't have the right to tell me the buyer what I can or cannot do in regards to my breeding program. Yes you can lie and say the horse isn't for sale, or you can put them up for sale as in a private treaty. That pretty much keeps any buyer away as they think you are going to want lots of $$$$ for your horse. You have to remember, if you put any horse up for sale, you are in the business of selling horses. I have only turned down one buyer all these years and they wanted one of my ponies for a three year old child. I knew this pony wasn't a childs pony. Yes, she got upset but after a bit while I was still talking with her in person, she finally understood what I was telling her. She decided on another pony that did fit in her program. I didn't loose a sale but I didn't insult my buyer either that could have hurt me more in the long run. It only takes one bad comment and we all know how those can fly like wild fire to make us look like the bad person when in reality we are really trying to do what is right for not only the horse but the buyer too.

Karen

 

[Genie]

I usually think that if I am asking, I am usually just looking for confirmation of my decision.

On the other hand, I made two separate sales to people who I thought I knew, and that my horses would have good homes.

The result is that I would never sell either person another horse no matter what they offered.

 

[shorthorsemom]

Don't fry me,... please. But IMO, if it is a great home, and their horses are in terrific shape and the people are really nice, what is it that is really bothering you? Trying to control someones breeding of a horse after a sale can really only be done by gelding a stallion before he leaves. If they make you uncomfortable, tell them no. If they are truly a good home and you just don't like the "look" of what they are breeding you could ask more questions as to what they want in a mare. Like the other post said... what if they want to improve their breeding lines by purchasing a new better quality mare. Maybe they have intentions of breeding to an outside stallion to improve the look of what they are breeding. Sounds like more questions are in order and sounds like you need to get more comfortable with who the potential buyers for your mare are, rather than sell her and kick yourself later. That is a good thing..

But honestly, checking out their website really isn't going to get you the answers you really want. You sound like a smart cookie and sound like you truly do care where your horses are going to end up and what will be done with them. Listen to your gut feelings, but you really don't need to go into great explanation to them as to why you refuse to sell, don't hurt their feelings, they might just be nice people looking for a nice mare and might not have any intentions of breeding her. Get to know them, if you at all feel uncomfortable, move on.

Me, I will never be a breeder. I don't have the guts for it and would worry about every baby forever and as for the foaling out and stress in breeding minis...

. I tip my hat to those of you that are dedicated breeders trying to make a difference.

 

[StarRidgeAcres]

I do appreciate everyone's perspective, so thank you for responding. I replied to the email by only answering their specific questions. I have decided I will be very honest with them if they inquire further. They will probably not believe me and will become defensive, but for the sake of the horses I will do it. I'm not losing a sale if I have no intention of selling to them in the first place.

They have more than one breed of horse and their horses all look wonderfully cared for. But their mini stallion is a dwarf and is producing dwarfs but they still use him. For many breeders that is an acceptable practice. For me it is not. No exceptions. So I will chose to not sell to that type of situation. Certainly not knowingly. I believe I have that right. I can't control everything that happens to my horses once sold but I owe it to them not to knowingly put them at risk.

The reason I'm sharing the details now is because I've decided to give them honest feedback if it goes any further.

 

[attwoode]

Parmela, you have every right to want to protect your little mare from a tramatic birth of a live dwarf foal, or worse yet, one that dies in utero. That is not to mention the uncertain future of any of her foals. I would not sell her to that farm unless that dwarf was a gelding!

By the way, your mare is beautiful and it would be a shame for her background to be blamed for the dwarfs that would be produced in the next generation or further down the line. Wish I had the money, I'd solve your problem and bring her to live with me!

 

[Kiss This]

For that reason I also would not sell to them. You are making the right decision & everyone will understand that.

 

[Jill]

You know, I think I have in mind what the situation is, but who knows -- I may be far off... but with what I have in mind, I would answer the person and indicate that I appreciate their interest but that I didn't feel my mare / filly was a good match for their breeding program. Not going into the why of it, as that would be insulting if it's the situation I am picturing. With SO many horses for sale, I think that this type of message will have them pursuing a horse other than one you love and care for.

 

[shorthorsemom]

Mentioning that their stallion is a dwarf and producing dwarf foals changes everything... Sounds like you know what to do already.

 

[StarRidgeAcres]

Oh.. now I understand now.. the buyer has a stallion that may possibly sire dwarfs.. Why did you not say this in the first place?? Yes, you have a right to be concerned.. I guess.. if you know they plan to use their stallion (that could produce dwarfs) to breed with your mare..

I didn't say it at first ML as I wasn't sure I was going to confront them about it (assuming it came to something more than a casual inquiry into price, etc.), but I now plan to be honest with them if it goes further. I plan to say that I believe your stallion carries the dwarf gene and that based on pics on your site he has, for sure, passed it along, so I can't place a breeding mare in a home where the only stallion is a dwarf producer. Just not worth it as I've seen the damage that can be done to a mare when she foals a dwarf. It's heartbreaking all around. So not for me.

 

[Koriana]

Really stupid question ..... How new are these people to breeding ? Do they even realise their stallion is a dwarf ? I know it's not your place to fix things as such but I wonder if they know ? I know your mare will find a beautiful home as she deserves you are doing the right thing parmela =)

 

[rabbitsfizz]

Parmela, I have always loved your your horses, and would look to an animal I bought form you to improve my breeding lines. If I am using a dwarf stallion (and I have been in a similar position) then there is NO way to improve the bloodlines, none, it is a dead end.

I am afraid I was probably a bit too up front, said simply that , IMO, their stallion was a dwarf and that were my mare to have a dwarf foal (it is not possible to test, yet, after all, so a full dwarf is possible from any mare in this situation) she could be compromised severely, maybe even die. That was the bottom line, the welfare of the animal. I was not going to wait around ten years for the genes to click into place and the mare have a dwarf foal, I was not willing to play Russian Roulette with her .

I think you have already made your decision, and I think you have made the right one.

If it were merely that the stallion was inferior, since the home is brilliant, I would suck it up and let her go, as it is she would be constantly contributing, at best, to a problem we already know we have in the breed, at worst she could die.

 

[alongman]

Really stupid question ..... How new are these people to breeding ? Do they even realise their stallion is a dwarf ? I know it's not your place to fix things as such but I wonder if they know ? I know your mare will find a beautiful home as she deserves you are doing the right thing parmela =)

This sounds really stupid, but I went to observe a sale recently where the HIGH selling horses (plural) were both dwarves. Both from the same farm! Both clearly identified as being "the new style of miniature - the really tiny ones". Will that farm continue to breed dwarves - absolutely! They walked away with nearly 4 times the price of any other horse.

I respect your decision Parmela! Some people, like you, are in it for the animals, not the quick buck of selling one.

 

[Koriana]

I agree Marylou if you were Parmela would you broach the subject with the people ?