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[Maxi'sMinis]

Sending prayers to give you strength. It breaks my heart to hear of you and your husbands suffering. I lost my Dad this way 20 sum yrs ago. Reading this post has brought back those feelings that have been tucked away. I will keep your husband in my prayers that his hospital treatment helps him to get stronger and heal so he can hurry home to be with his loving family. As all of the folks here have said cherish every moment with him. Again sending prayers that God holds you both in his ever loving hands.

 

[sfmini]

TJ, your doctor gave you excellent advice as have the others. I am so glad your step daughter is coming to help, sounds like one you get along with so that will be great support for you.

Don't start grieving until it is time to do so, now is the time to share treasured time with your husband, time enough to grieve later. It will be hard, but give him the gift of at least thinking you will be ok so he can go in peace instead of stressed over you. It sounds like you love him enough to do that for him.

Also you are such a lucky woman to have met the love of your life, many people never have that, I am one of them. Treasure the time you have left.

Ask the doc about any hospice services you might be able to receive so he can be at home for as long as possible.

I am so sorry you are going through this, you have lots of friends out here in cyberspace.

 

[Taylor Jo]

I swore I wasn't going to cry today but I sit here and read these last 3 post and I weep with such warmth that you guy's took the time to speak from your hearts just like the other 70 some post you have "all" touched my heart deeply. I wish I could find the words to say to each one of you how greatly each one of your words have touched me in each way, a line, a word, a whole sentence a paragraph, sometimes just like knowing it's from someone like Jill it touches me deeply or others that write. How can I keep expressing the depth of my love for all of you that you care so much for me and my husband. My heart is overwhelmed. I have bared my soul to you, there is nothing left, I come to you opened armed I am striped of all, all I have left is my faith in mankind that it will take care of me and help me get through this rocky road. God has led me to you and you have opened your hearts and gave me a safe haven and for that I thank you.

I'm terrified to tell him it's ok to let go, but yesterday I told him I'd be ok what ever happened, I'd be alright, of course I couldn't help but not cry. He said he knew I'd be ok. I know what it's like though NEVER to hear a voice again and to be honest I don't know how to live without that. I've lived 10 years without my sons and that is the hardest thing, never hearing I love you mom. Now at some point I have to live without him saying, I love you and me saying I love you more and him saying in return, "I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU MORE THEN YOU'LL EVER KNOW......" I gasp at the thought of losing that.

I'm sorry I said I was going to be strong today...... No tears, ok, I'm going to get my healthy choice dinner and some veggy's and water. I'm going to watch Dancing with the Stars tonight and turn in early so I can go see him and hopefully bring him home and I want tears of happiness on my face, NOT sadness.

Thank you all so much, God Bless and love to you all, TJ

 

[Magic]

TJ, what you are going through is one of my worst fears.

I think about you so much, and pray that you will make it through this ok, and that your husband can have some good quality time, the more the better.

My Stepdad has told me that he SO misses the sound of my Mom's voice, he wishes that he had even a scrap of a recording of her, but he doesn't. But YOU still have time! Ask your hubby if you can record the two of you talking (and you'd better have a list of things that you can talk about or you'll both end up tongue tied at the thought of trying to think of something to say!) It doesn't matter what you talk about, maybe reminisce about the past? A videotape would be wonderful, both picture and sound.

When my Mom died, she had been very sick and was hospitalized for weeks on end, but she was getting better and we thought she would be coming home, when she suddenly went into a coma and was brain dead.

One thing that kept me going after was the fact that I was there with her almost every day, all day (if I wasn't there, someone else was) and I treated her with the love and respect that she inspired in me. I treasure the little moments of that time with her, from massaging her feet to helping her get to the bathroom with that IV cart, and am so glad that I told her every day that I loved her.

I'm so sorry about the loss of your son, I didn't realize that. Obviously you are far too well aquainted with loss.

I do wish that we could help you more. Just know that there are many many of us out here hurting for you and with you and praying for both you and your husband, and hoping for the best. {{Hugs}}

 

[HGFarm]

Oh TJ, I dont even know where to start.... this has all made me SO sad.

You NEVER get over not being able to hear their voices, talk to them on the phone, share a joke. This is normal and unfortunately something we all go through at some point in time with a parent, child, sibling or something.

Hang in there, and you WILL be ok and yes God is with you. You are stronger than you think!!

And I agree, wash these other people from your life. In the big picture, they don't matter and you don't need the stress. It is better to fill your life with those that love you and appreciate you. You can decide who you choose as 'family' and who is not, and I hate to say it, but sometimes family comes in other forms- not what a piece of papers says is legal family.

Enjoy your puppy! What a cutie. That's my favorite color of the breed.

It sounds like you and your husband have a wonderful relationship.... and I see in the pic that he is not giving up yet. I detect a sparkle in his eye yet! I hope the chemo helps quickly with the reduction of fluid that is filling him up. I know exactly what you are going through- went through it all earlier this year.

And the time on the road... I drove back and forth (about 1 1/2 hrs each way) at all hours, to make sure the animals got fed and cared for, twice a day, for 2 months. I dont know how I did what I did, but I guess God helped me get through it all, and he will help you too.

I dont blame you for being angry about the people not helping... that is pretty mean and uncaring. Some are just that way though. Do not waste the energy to fight their negative ways, and focus on you and your hubby, and those that love you.

Hugs, and I do hope that your husband is able to come home soon!!

 

[PromiseAcres]

Warm thoughts being sent your way.

 

[Taylor Jo]

I'm so tired I can hardly hold my head up. I've been going since 6 this morning. I had the garage door man here early fixing my doors cause they would go up but wouldn't come back down unless you held the button in the garage, so I got it all fixed for $69.00, ya hoo.... Then before I went to see my husband I had to go and get feed at two different feed stores and shavings at another one. WHEW, I was already tired just from doing all that, plus feeding 4 dogs, and cleaning 5 stalls and feeding 5 horses. YOU know what it's like you all do it. It's an every day occurrence. The feeding and cleaning that is. Oh PLUS, my 6 mth old puppy isn't house broken I found out and I had to take her our 3 times before I left.

My lab at the moment is LOUNGING on the couch with his head on the arm and I don't have the heart to tell him to get his BIG BUTT off, so I'm leaving him there. I'm to tired and so is he I think.

Well the "GOOD NEWS" Went to see my hubby and the Dr and social worker said their putting him in a nursing home 10 miles from my house that, that was the closest one and they will continue chemo once a week and I can take him the hour and 15 min down there for it. But they were worried that if I brought him home he'd go back down hill and end back up in the hospital. So my husband agreed to that and so did I. Plus, they gave him 6 mths to 2 years to live. We shall see, but at least he's eating better and will get breathing treatments and get medicine to make him eat. He wouldn't have got that level of care here. I'm so happy. I just praise God and everyone for their prayers and good thoughts. I'm still in shock about it.

I do agree though about video taping us, I think that is a great idea. We have a V camera. I can do that while he's in the nursing home. I can get him to talk about his Marine days he likes to talk about that. I'm used to hearing about it and I'd miss hearing about it anyway.

They say you can't pick your families but you don't have to keep them either, at least not the other side one,,,,, LOL!!!!!!! I'll just keep 99% of them, that 1% I can do w/o.

Thanks, guy's. I haven't cried no sad tears all day I'm so proud of myself. I've got to get some sleep, 6 comes early. Love to all, TJ

 

[MountainMeadows]

TJ

You are so brave and my heart just breaks to read your posts about all the ups and downs you are going thru and those to come. I think that the video taping is a wonderful idea - here is another one that may prove to be of solace to you. our know they say that people enter your life for a reason, and perhaps meeting this gal last weekend and hearing what she does comes at a time that you need also. She told me of groups of very specially trained people who call on nursing homes, veteran's administrations, grange halls, etc and these people are gifted writers. They sit and listen, and then they write the life stories of those who are telling them - they are wonderful - they dig deep, ask questions, bring out little details that many would never have known anything at all about - most of the time their service is free - it is their gift to mankind -- how wonderful that there are such people in the world who are so talented and giving. I am sure that your husband has many stories to tell, probably more than even he knows. My blessings to you and your husband - I am so hoping that your journey is painfree and full of love.

((( Hugs )))

Stacy

 

[dreaminmini]

TJ
You are so brave and my heart just breaks to read your posts about all the ups and downs you are going thru and those to come. I think that the video taping is a wonderful idea - here is another one that may prove to be of solace to you. our know they say that people enter your life for a reason, and perhaps meeting this gal last weekend and hearing what she does comes at a time that you need also. She told me of groups of very specially trained people who call on nursing homes, veteran's administrations, grange halls, etc and these people are gifted writers. They sit and listen, and then they write the life stories of those who are telling them - they are wonderful - they dig deep, ask questions, bring out little details that many would never have known anything at all about - most of the time their service is free - it is their gift to mankind -- how wonderful that there are such people in the world who are so talented and giving. I am sure that your husband has many stories to tell, probably more than even he knows. My blessings to you and your husband - I am so hoping that your journey is painfree and full of love.

((( Hugs )))

Stacy

Wow! What a beautiful idea. I wish they had been around when my grandfather and grandmother were still alive. What a wonderful way to have those special memories preserved and to pass down to future generations.

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I couldn't possibly imagine. But everyone is right, enjoy all your todays with your husband, ignore the people who are so negative. I wish there was more to say to help, i am not very good with words, spoken or written,. You guys are in my prayers.

 

[sfmini]

Stacy, that is a great idea! Hope there is someone who can come do that.

TJ, great news on the six months to two years! A nursing home is a good idea, and so good to be closer to you. You should be able to take the dogs to visit him, I was allowed to have Frasier with me all day a few times and it was my sanity. He was great, just settled in my bed between my legs and was so careful of the knee that had been replaced.

Heck, you might even be able to take a mini in to see him.

 

[HGFarm]

Oh this is good news that he will be so much closer, and able to still get the care he so needs right now! With their training too, they will be able to keep an eye on things closer and get on top of it if there's a problem much quicker. It is scary to have them come home, and every little thing freaks you out. Maybe after a few chemo treatments he can come home?

At least this will be much closer for you? I hope it is a good place- have you been there yet? I would check it out if not! It's hard to get them out, once they are in, if you need to! I would also check to see if there have ever been any complaints or anything on the place............

We took Mom to a hospice facility that was supposed to be the 'valley's finest'- I had her out of there in two days- she would have been dead in another two if she had been left there!!! It was AWFUL!