Excuse the flatulence, I’d invite ya over, but…um…

[SWA]

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Ok, now that you’ve sprayed your screen with your morning coffee/juice/cocoa/soda (whatever get’s your motor running in the morning)…go get a paper towel and clean it up.

Oops…ya missed a spot.

Ok…there…

Hey now, I’m serious ya’ll, I have never in my life ever heard hide nor hair of ANYTHING like this…but it’s TRUE!

Sad as it is (and EXTREMELY EMBARRASSING)…my brand spanking new house FARTS!

I swear, honest to goodness!!!

HELP?????

I’ve been struggling for days and days now with “how do I†ask for help with something like this? I mean, I can’t just come out and say…MY HOUSE FARTS, can I? Well, I tried and tried to come up with a less “blunt†type word, but there just ain’t no other way to even begin to plea for help, but plain out, make no beans about it, that it FARTS! No need to be “lady likeâ€, cause it just doesn’t cut the mustard with trying to say and ask for advice.

I mean, I’m all for kicking back and letting it all go kinda “country living†and all…but…WHEW DOGGIE!!!!! This house is doing it wayyyy above and beyond mear hillbilly hick manners!!!

I mean to tell ya, just as an unexpected whiff hits ya….PEEEEE YUUUUUU!!!!!

Now, how on earth can a brand new building be so filled with methane, is beyond me. The first couple nights, and so far…it’s only at night for some reason, (oh, and first thing in the morning too), hubby and I would just roll over and look at each other awful funny, and think…â€whew, what’d we have for supper anyhow???â€

Then, of course, after the first couple days of this we got to talking and came to the “mutual understanding†that “it wasn’t usâ€. <Whew…escaped a major potential medical intervention THERE!!!â€>

So…then, we began to suspect the only other prospects we could imagine….well, I did anyhow. I mean…no waaay could it be my little Rexy-Pooh, nu-uh!!!! So, in “my†opinion, there was only one other possible culprit. HUBBY’s little poochie!

I mean, yeah his name is “Waylonâ€â€¦well, “wasâ€. He does however, quite eagerly and without hesitation, “nowâ€, answer to the name “HINKYâ€. A name well earned I might add! Back when we lived in Maine, the poor thing was nailed dead on by a skunk!

Well, for the longest time, he was so rank, that “Stinky†was all that could ever come to mind when reference was made to him for anything. To call him to get him to come for a bath…â€Stinky†was on the tips of my tongue, that’s for sure.

Hubby, however, never had the heart to ever call him that. So, he compromised the obvious and managed to ever so fondly call him, “Hinkyâ€. Well….just like the aroma of peppy le-pew’s finest, that name pretty much STUCK, ever since. Thankfully, though the fragrance eventually dissipated.

As time went on though, “Hinkyâ€, like the rest of us, put on some years…and inches around the belly. And well…after meals…he does send off, um, “aromas†if you will. So, “Waylon†has long since vaporized from the memory banks of identity for this one.

Anyways….it seemed to make sense that Hinky was the culprit here. Or so we thought…uh, well, “I†did anyhow, hubby has yet to admit to the notions “verballyâ€. But, I know he sure was THINKING on it! Anyways, so then we, ok half-heartedly, concluded that we have to start this boy on a strictly regulated diet, pronto!

In the mean time, every single night….the spirradic whiff of the vapors would stand us up right of our slumbers!

Another week or two goes by, and Hinky is starting to at least look a little more “fitâ€, but BOY HOWDY!!!! Those nightly episodes are by no means dwindling and beginning to really cut into our much needed sleep time just to function everyday!

Well, by now we got to thinking…ok, this boy needs to go to the vet, something fierce!

Hubby still not quite ready to admit that Hinky could quite possibly be very astutely making up for long over duly living up to his nickname.

Willing to give him the benefit of the doubt…we decided to give it another couple days. Ok…that lasted just one more night, then I had to put my foot down. Poor Hinky was reluctantly banished to the kitchen for bed time, at least till after the previously passed Thanksgiving holiday. Then, we would make that appointment for sure!

We went back an forth on whether or not to let Hinky “indulge†over the holiday, and decided we better not tempt fate. So poor Hinky stuck to his diet plan. No table scraps for a while yet.

Well, lo and behold….the next couple nights….it was either seeping through the walls and under the door crack to our room, as if it was a fragrant foggy drift from the kitchen like a fresh baked pumpkin pie! Only, this was definitely NO pumpkin pie! This was HINKY all over the place!!!!

OH…..MY…..GOSH!!!!!!!

Well, Hubby had enough too, and stands up and declares a new suspect. The nerve! His suspicions ever glaring toward my sweet little Rexy-Pooh! Nuh-uh, says I!!!!! No way!!! I quickly grabbed up my little snuggle muffin in a big ol bear hug, and dared hubby to even IMPLY, as I bravely sucked in a sweet wiff of yummy green apple shampoo! NOPE, NO SIRREE BUB! It ain’t him, for sure!!!!

Well, now, all wide eyed and awake…again…I decided to go get a drink of water.

HOLY MACKERAL!!!! As I walked into the bathroom and stood over the sink to grab a little paper Dixie-cup, it smacked me upside the head like a true V-8 kinda moment!

The whiff of WHEWIE-WHO-DUNNIT was billowing like a thick cloud of plug yer nose now, or I’m gonna fill it kinda WHEEEEEEEEEWWWEEEEEEEE!!!

Ok, now that I’m all cross-eyed and dizzy, and feeling like SUCH A DOOFUS, I slump over and give poor Hinky an ever so remorseful apologetic hug, and invite him back to his doggie plush while I go make the rounds at every sink and tub drain in the house!

BINGO!!!!

It’s the daggum PLUMBING DRAINS. My HOUSE is the culprit! All the sink and tub drains seem to some how intermittently pass these putrid awful “puffsâ€. It’s not the toilets, nor the faucets where the water comes “outâ€. (I think.) Just the drains where the water goes down.

So, there ya have it. My house FARTS! I tell ya, I’m so dawgone PLUM-TARD from lack of decent sleep the past few weeks, all I wanna do is fill up my nice new “REAL†tub, for a relaxing CALGON DAY….but, SHEESH!

I’m scared to death to even consider that for right now. I mean, what if I was to fill that thing up with water…and let it all accumulate with the drain stopper holding it all in…and then even DARE to pull that plug so’s it’ll it all drain out in such quantity???

Well, that has me so scared that it might cause a catastrophic volcanic eruption of WHEEEWEEEE HELLO NEIGHBORS, or something!!!

What on earth did we tap into when we had our well put in? Who do we call for something like this??? How on earth can I call a plumber and ask him to investigate WHY MY HOUSE FARTS?????

What could EVER be the “Plumber’s Bill†for something like that???? I fear the worst…please help???

Sincerely,

Tanya - The DOOFUS Gasping for AIR!

 

[justanothercowgirl]

Hey Tanya, we had the same trouble with our bathroom drains for a couple of months, it was so gross we called it the stench of death. We tried pouring bleach down the drains, vinegar and hot water, drain cleaner blah blah. Still the stench came pouring out, I mean gross. I read on another forum that it could be bacteria growing in the overflow drains. So...I did what they said to do I poured hydrogen peroxide down the drains and into the overflow drains and left it for a couple of hours. Stench gone!!! Worked like a charm!!!!

 

[Sterling]

Gosh Tanya I was gonna say ..."well at least you don't get the aroma of it"...until I kept reading on!

I thought you meant that your house actually "made noises". Like my floors will creak here and there especially when my heavy little critters (yes even our fat little 'ol Larry - cat) walk on certain parts of it.

The way you wrote your thread gave me a chuckle...but I hope it's nothing serious that can cause harm to you guys. I don't know how to help you or what to suggest, but I do hope you get the problem fixed...that would definitely be annoying. Are there any more houses around closeby to you? Ya think maybe there is an underground natural gas pocket somewhere...but the builders would've checked all that out I would imagine?

 

[rabbitsfizz]

First off I'd get a whole truck full of Tums and chuck the lot down the toilet!!! That might give you a whiff free night. Then you need to get out the plans and see where the drains go, and how, because sticking bleach down might solve the problem short term but I would think it would come back to haunt you if you do not sort it right out.

 

[runamuk]

Well at least it is your drains........our well water has varying amounts of sulfur .....nothing like soaking in a nice hot bath of fart water

the house reeks everytime someone bathes or showers.......and because it is a brand new house with weird pipes we haven't been able to install a water filter ...need some fancy expensive tool to cut the pipes and clamp on the connectors

lately the water has been extra ...peeee eeewwww

 

[Al B]

Drain systems create methane gas. Check all the vent pipes. These go up from the drain out thru the attic. If they are stopped up the methane will force it's way thru the P trap (or J trap, whichever you have) and come out thru the sink.

 

[chandab]

Well at least it is your drains........our well water has varying amounts of sulfur .....nothing like soaking in a nice hot bath of fart water

  the house reeks everytime someone bathes or showers.......and because it is a brand new house with weird pipes we haven't been able to install a water filter ...need some fancy expensive tool to cut the pipes and clamp on the connectors

 

  lately the water has been extra ...peeee eeewwww

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I shouldn't laugh, we now have this problem with our well water. It's not too bad and it's intermittent, but it's definitely there.

[i can't believe there isn't a smiley face for stinky stuff].

 

[Sunny]

It never ceases to amaze me, the things we learn on here! Our bathroom sink upstairs emits this vile, disgusting odour so we keep it covered. We've tried using Drano, Mr. Plumber, and bleach but nothing has worked. Now I'll try Pam's suggestion of hydrogen peroxide (how much? a whole bottle?) and ask my husband to check the roof vents. There are always starlings up there making nests and perhaps they've done something up there to cause this stench. My greatest concern, though, is the fact that any liquids drain soooooooo slowly that there might actually be something down there causing the "stench of death".

Thanks for sharing your story, Tanya. I hope you can resolve your situation quickly and easily.

 

[justanothercowgirl]

Our bathroom sink upstairs emits this vile, disgusting odour so we keep it covered. We've tried using Drano, Mr. Plumber, and bleach but nothing has worked. Now I'll try Pam's suggestion of hydrogen peroxide (how much? a whole bottle?)

I bought a big bottle of the 3%hydrogen peroxide and poured liberally into the sink drain, the tub drain and the overflow drain. Used maybe half a bottle. Peroxide is so cheap I figured I would put lots down. We were utterly amazed that it got rid of it, we had lived with the stench of death for so long!

 

[ChrystalPaths]

This is you pretty new home right? Sounds to me like your vents aren't working. Call whomever did the work and tell them the prblem...happened here too.... sigh..the worst potty smell! Turned out the vent wasn't "venting". Got it fixed and no more problem. Also was told if you have a bathroom shower/tub you don't use often to be sure to run water in often so there is always water in the trap. The water keeps the gas out! Hope this helps. PHEW!!!

 

[ChrystalPaths]

This is you pretty new home right? Sounds to me like your vents aren't working. Call whomever did the work and tell them the prblem...happened here too.... sigh..the worst potty smell! Turned out the vent wasn't "venting". Got it fixed and no more problem. Also was told if you have a bathroom shower/tub you don't use often to be sure to run water in often so there is always water in the trap. The water keeps the gas out! Hope this helps. PHEW!!!

BTW I loved your story.

 

[justaboutgeese]

I agree with the other posters. You have sewage vents which are either improperly situated or blocked. I promise its a very simple problem with a very "simple" cure.

 

[SWA]

Thanks ya’ll for the great advice and reassurance that it’s likely not something more serious than I imagined. At least I hope not. I will show your posts to hubby later and we’ll contact our “builder guys†to let them know about this. They are supposed to be coming out for some other finishing touches in a couple days, and we’ll have them look things over with the plumbing vents while they are out.

Hi Geese, how’ve ya been? Thanks for the reassuring promise in it’s simplicity. I’m gonna hold ya to it, okeedoke. I hope that’s all it is, LOL. I can live with that as long as it’s not another monstrous bill to pay. Hopefully, it’ll fall under warranty stuff and the builder guys can either fix it, or have “their people†take care of it. I’m sorry for the notion of potential volcanic activity comment, LOL! I was sorta caught up in the momentum of our plight and just went with it, same as just about any other LB poster. I’ll try to keep a rein on that though, LOL.

I know that wasn’t a likely outcome (at least I hope not, LOL), but really, I just wanted to somehow make light of the whole situation. As it was of concern, but didn’t quite know just how concerned I should or shouldn’t be, in addition to how to even best make mention of the whole thing, strangely embarrassing as it was, LOL.

I don’t know about you, but personally, I’ve never experienced a flatulent house before, and I was seriously scratching my head for THE longest time, with gosh…now how do I even bring this subject up, let alone not get all redfaced from just what the situation was…a house that…um…well, enough o’that, you get the picture right, LOL! This was really hard for me to come out and say and not get all red faced about it, LOL!

So in effort for “me†to save face enough to bring it up, I tried, feeble at it was I guess, to make a joke out of it at the end of my story there. Anyways, so long as you say there’s no need to worry “that†much…I do feel better now. Thanks.

Think I better also see if hubby wants to give a try with a bottle of peroxide too, to at least tie us over till we can have someone out to look things over and get it fixed. Thanks for that great tip too Cowgirl! Here’s to hoping it works, LOL! I know we could sure use a good night’s sleep, and it sure would be so nice to have our “pup snuggles†back TWO fold!

I’m equally comforted in that so many of you all have also experienced this, ROFL! Very surprised, but it’s so good to NOT be alone, especially for something like this, LOL!

I mean, this is literally THE FIRST time I have ever heard of so many, (excuse me for say this, but I can’t resist, LOL) FELLOW FARTING HOUSE OWNERS out there, ROFL! This is sooooo funny! I’m so glad I “found the courage†to come forward with this, ROFL!

Hey… we should all start a “Neighborhood Watch†or something, each of us could take turns to “stand on guard†and be armed with cans of Lysol Sanitizer and Glade Air Freshener, or at least have peroxide in stock, LOL!

ROFL! Whew boy! Okeydoke…back to workey.

Thanks again all of you. Sunny, you are right, we learn the strangest things here, LOL. I've now learned that houses have to "vent" too. I did not know that, and in every sense of the word.

 

[Al B]

Or, your house could really be haunted by a flatulant ghost.

GASPER, the fharty ghost

 

[ChrystalPaths]

 

[SWA]

Or, your house could really be haunted by a flatulant ghost.
GASPER, the fharty ghost

 

 

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[justanothercowgirl]

Or, your house could really be haunted by a flatulant ghost.
GASPER, the fharty ghost

hee hee if it smelled anything like our bathroom did it is entirely possible, we were considering an exorcism when all else failed!!!!

 

[SWA]

Cowgirl, LOL! I was seriously considering a BIG BOTTLE of "BEAN-O".

 

[Bess Kelly]

Definately the vents are not working correctly.......

In a new house, yep, it's a warranty issue. Don't give up on making them fix it correctly.....hey, you sure don't want to smell "that smell" instead of the Christmas tree

 

[Marty]

Jerry says you are probably getting sewer gas. It comes up from the septic tank, sewer lines. Doesn't matter that it's all brand new. You've most likely got it. Sound like it.

The toilet, everything, every drain has to have a "pee trap" (that's the pipes underneath) and your's may not be working, connected right or just stuck, and be sure the wax ring is under the toilet.

You totally have cracked me up.