(ex)friend stole money from me!

[~Palomino~]

So about two weeks ago a couple of friends wanted me to go shoppin (one of them isn't really that close of a friend the other one is) and while we were their the friend that isn't that close asked if she could barrow some money cause she really wanted this other shirt and she was short. And she said she'd pay me back next week. I said thats fine, as long as you promise and she said ya I promise. Well to make a long story short, I peeved her of and she refuses to give me the money back. it was $60.00

This same girl has admitted to me that she steals money from her work (her grandpa owns the store) and also drinks and she is on the cheer squad (zero tolerance policy)

What do you suggest I do? Im planning on having a cop come over tomorrow and talk to him about this but is there really anything I can do? My other friend was there when she said it and said she will prove it to me, also I used my debit card so I have a bank statement!

Not really looking for the answer ;its not in writting so your SOL,' so please leave useful comments!

Thanks so much!

 

[kaykay]

My best advice number one is dont lend money to anyone

Number 2 I would let it go as a lesson learned. Probably not worth the hassle and I really dont think the police can help. Really about all you could do is go to small claims court but probably not worth the hassle.

Best advice I got when I was a kid was is only lend someone money if you never need it back and think of it as a gift. Because chances are they will never repay it.

 

[Katiean]

I had gotten a large sum of money and took a trip. I would count my money each night after my friend had gone to bed. I put my last $20 in my trucks gas tank at Lovelock and figured I could get a family member to come get me some gas to get home. Each night I would think Now wait a minute, I spent this and this. Things don't add up. I never said anything because a friendship of 25 years is not worth trashing over a bit of cash.

 

[Miniv]

When you agree to "loan" money to someone, consider it a Gift. Because, too often it never gets repaid and will cause friction in a friendship. If it does get paid back, then it's a lovely surprise!

Your (ex) friend is going to be very sad some day because the more people she burns, the less friends she will have.

 

[Pepipony]

Probably will have to write it off , sorry to say. If the police offer any advice though, I would go for it, even if it puts you out a little bit. I would bet that if someone in her past had made her own up to what she did or does, she wouldnt have done this to you. Good luck!

 

[~Palomino~]

Thanks for the advice y'all. Sad thing is is this is the second time this has happened to me, another friend owes me $150 still and our friendship was ruined over it.

Guess I'll really never barrow money to anyone again. I was thinking there is nothing I can do... So Im going to consider it a donation and hope that good Karma will come to me someday.

I will however be telling the owners of the store that she steals money from them.

Gage

 

[krissy3]

you know 60 bucks isnt a lot of money to us, we are older established and some of us with double incomes.... but I remember a day when 60 bucks was my car insurance payment ( dating myself) and I needed it .If you know , and trust the cop, have him over , talk to him about it ... see what he says. but to sit back and let it slide might stay with you for a lot longer, you know what I mean . I had a boss that paid me cash for working at a nightclub serving drinks... I was 15 , and they were "non alcholic " drinks ... Every night that I worked he would tell me that he was going to file my taxes for me , and take 20 bucks cash from my earned income. I was grateful that he was looking after my best intrest, and filing taxes for me... yes I was young , and stupid, and I would give anything now to find that SOB and burn him alive. I really wish i had told someone , so that he would get caught.... 20 bucks from me , 20 from the other gal , and who know what else his name was NISSAR ...if anyone knows someone by the name of that working in Walnut creek California in the early 80 s ... another time my friend stole a poster from our 4th grade class. I thought about that poster of 4 little kittens , and finally told my teacher Mr Lum. this girl was my friend , but she did something wrong, I knew it wasnt right and i learned to be honest, so I told. Mr Lum thanked me , but did nothing, my friendship remained the same but I had a clear head about it. I dont know if this is the answer your looking for... but , do what is in your heart no matter what the other will think of you... you have to live with you, and develope your sense of pride, and honesty and character... thats the cool thing about being young, once you move away from your parents you can decide what your life is going to be about. hey... good luck, sorry to get all personal on you, its just me.

krissy

 

[minimomNC]

Not sure why you guys aren't talking other than she owes you money and can't pay it back. My opinion is see if she will answer a call or write her an email or even a letter and mail it. Tell her that things are ok, you can get past what has happened and if she doesn't have all of the money right now, she can pay you a little at a time. Try to work it out first before you give up on it.

Now for what I really think, what heck does she need to borrow that kind of money for a shirt. I could see $5 or even $10 being short, but $60??? Thats just crazy. If she doesn't have the money to buy it, she sure as heck don't need it. Don't ever loan anyone money for something that is not a matter of life or welfare, unless she is walking naked around town, she didn't need a $60 shirt. There is a point in which you can be to nice and need to learn how to say no.

Good luck with the outcome, I hope it works out for you and you get your friendship and money back.

 

[Katiean]

Is it worth the loss of a friendship over $60-$150? What I did when I realized I would have money missing by the next morning was I locked my purse in the truck at night. I could have confronted her and had a big blow up over it but we have known each other for 25 years and at times she was more of a sister than my own sister. is your friendship worth so little? Just don't lend her any money any more. She may be mad at the moment but she will get over it.

 

[Sue_C.]

Is it worth the loss of a friendship over $60-$150?

is your friendship worth so little?

I don't think there WAS a true friendship...REAL friends don't "do" a friend over for $1000's, let along $60.

She may be mad at the moment but she will get over it.

I am sure SHE will...after all, she is the one who took the money and isn't paying it back...what has she got to lose? I wouldn't give a TOOT, whether SHE "got over it", my consern would be whether I could. Hard to remain a trusting friend with someone who doesn't value [c]my [/i]friendship.

 

[Jill]

I'm sorry for what's happened, Gage. That wouldn't have been a little bit of money to me when I was your age (even accounting for inflation) plus it would hurt my feelings for lack of a better expression. I'm sorry those "friends" took advantage of your generosity.

 

[HGFarm]

I have to agree that real friends, or just plain good honest people, dont steal- period. I can not hang out with people like this- there are too many nice people in the world out there to surround yourself with. WHAT KIND of person would steal from a friend AND relatives, etc.... Not a very good one.

I agree on the karma thing! What goes around comes around. You might approach the relatives by asking if there is any way they could talk to the person about what they owe you, and in casual conversation mention that she said she takes money from them too. That is technically EMBEZZLEMENT, which is a CRIME.

Dont ever expect to see your money and no, if you can't afford to give someone a 'gift' then dont loan it. And I agree, if she could not afford a $60 shirt (gee, even after ripping off her grandparents at work?) then she didnt need to have it. Sounds like she is not living within her means and this will all come around to bite her sooner or later!!

I would wonder, besides ripping off friends and family, what else is this person into?

 

[Pepipony]

Is it worth the loss of a friendship over $60-$150? What I did when I realized I would have money missing by the next morning was I locked my purse in the truck at night. I could have confronted her and had a big blow up over it but we have known each other for 25 years and at times she was more of a sister than my own sister. is your friendship worth so little? Just don't lend her any money any more. She may be mad at the moment but she will get over it.

YES!!! its worth it. If they arent caring enough for a friend to pay back what they BORROWED , then they arent actually a friend. Plus they wont learn. Probably will never learn anyhow. I couldnt be friends with someone like that.

 

[Miniv]

FORUMS are great places to get a lot of different viewpoints...... There are a lot of very wise folks who've given their two cents, IMO.

I said - don't loan money, expecting it to be given back...look at it as giving a gift....We've learned the hard way.

Personally, I think some smart comments include --

* Why did she NEED a $60 shirt in the first place?

* Loaning money - at that amount or more, should probably be reserved for more important needs, unless she was in rags....and even then, there's always the Thrift Stores!

*Her attitude and behavior is such that I would question even WANTING to be her "friend"......There is a lot to be said for the old saying: "Birds of a feather, flock together."

 

[~Palomino~]

So today was very interesting! I finally had to call the cops this morning. She had sent a picture text message to two boys that was pornography and one of the two boys sent it around saying look everyone its the town bycical. I was informed of this last night and someone even sent me the picture (which I deleted right away) and just kind of laughed and thought wow Karmas a great thing. Well this morning as Im getting ready for work I receive a text message from her blaming me for the picture. I was like how the heck would I have that picture of you (it was a picture she took on her phone OF herself showing everything) I called the cops right away. She is no longer allowed to contact me and if she does then she will be charged with harrasment!

Its not about the money or even about my time, Its just I can't stand for her to think she is alright doing that. I make $11.50 and hour and Im a senior in high school. Not tooting my own horn but I have plenty of money. Its just wrong, and no I refuse to surround myself with those type of people!

I will be letting the store know that she steals from and I will be contacting her cheer coach.

Thank you all so much for the advice. Im really kinda happy that I finally have this ***** out of my life.

Sometimes you have to Pick the Weeds and Keep the flowers.

And one of my favorite sayings Id like the share with y'all is 'Love them More' Be the bigger person and do what ya have to do but just don't let them stupe down to your leval!

Gage

 

[HGFarm]

OMG, too bad you deleted the text- perhaps the police would have been interested in that as well?? Or the school?!! Good grief!!! Or even her PARENTS?!!!!!!!

You are right to move on and what an idiot to blame you for the text with the pic....

Well, now you REALLY KNOW what kind of person she is! Yep, it's time to drop that one like a hot potato! Wow.

 

[~Palomino~]

OMG, too bad you deleted the text- perhaps the police would have been interested in that as well?? Or the school?!! Good grief!!! Or even her PARENTS?!!!!!!!

You are right to move on and what an idiot to blame you for the text with the pic....

Well, now you REALLY KNOW what kind of person she is! Yep, it's time to drop that one like a hot potato! Wow.

Well she told me the two people she sent it to and I let the cop know... So Im pretty sure they will be doing some tracing but Im pretty sure over a hundred people have the picture know. Im pretty sure her mom has to know as the cop was going to contact her and let her know she is not allowed to contact me in anyway, and she is under 18 so Im sure the cop told her mom also. I heard today that one of the boys she sent it to is trying to blame it on me and my friends (once again, never seen the picture, never wanted to and I DO NOT advocate sexting nor do I want to be apart of it in anyway) sound guilty much? Im not positive how far the police are looking into her little problem but its not mine. She isn't allowed to contact me and Im as happy as can ever be...

Thanks again everyone... It really does feel good to get bad people out of your life, all they do is bring you down, and lifes to short to let low people make you low!!

Gage