Another loss

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Well-Known Member
Feb 22, 2004
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Cedar City, Ut
I'm sure you all are thinking that all I do is complain, but I just need to talk. I knew this Christmas was going to be hard, it used to be our favorite time of year. After losing Shawn it became tough, and now its even worse. My Dad, Mom, and I decided to go to Arizona for a few days prior to Christmas for some good ropings and to visit some friends. We had some really good people that were going to take care of the few animals left at the places for a few days. Well the morning to leave came and Mom decided that with the weather being so bad she didn't want to go. So Dad and I said our goodbyes, loaded four horses up and headed out. The first day was wonderful, the weather was great in Arizona, such a change from all the snow in Utah. But on Saturday afternoon Mom called me, she said that Chato was feeling sick, just laying out in the snow. So I told her to take him into the barn, blanket him, and give him some banamine. She said he wasn't kicking at his belly or rolling, just pawing a little and acting like he was body sore. I was worried with the weather change that it was colic so I told her to get a vet to come tube him with oil and check him out. No luck with that, it was the weekend before Christmas and I coudn't even get anyone on the emergency numbers. So I told her to put a gallon of oil down him herself, give him some banamine to ease the pain and make sure he had a salt block so maybe he'd drink, she kept checking on him all night. Sun Morning she said he had peed some and there was a small pile of hard manure. She said he was acting better and wanted to go outside and walk around. So she started walking him around the pasture and called me in a panic. She found at least a dozen places where he had rolled in the snow the day before. She hadn't seen them when she got him the day before but now we were both scared. I kept leaving messages for all the vets around but no one would answer or return my calls. She said he was acting sick again so she took him back in the barn and gave him more oil, and since he was pawing and laying down and getting up she gave him more banamine. I told her to give him a couple grams of ace to try to relax him so if he hadn't twisted a gut then maybe he would relax and help himself go, I also had her give him electrolytes since I knew he was dehydrated. Dad and I were on our way home, but it was a long way with the weather as bad as it was. Mom had the trailer hooked up and ready to go so she could be at the vets first thing Monday morning. I called her at about 8 Sun night and she said that he was acting like he was fine, I told her that the banamine was hard on his kidneys, so if he was acting like he wasn't hurting she should wait to give him more. But while I was talking to her he stretched out to pee and there was blood in it, then about ten minutes later he started pacing the stall and pawing again. I had a feeling it was too late and told her to give him more banamine, at least he didn't need to suffer too much. I tried the vets again, but the same thing. I told her that there was nothing else we could do and just to pray. At 11:30 she called me and said that he was just laying down and getting up and down and up. I prayed to God and asked him that if he wasn't going to let my baby get better to please let him quit suffering. Two minutes later he was gone. He was a tough one, she said he never thrashed, never kicked, never beat himself up. I have never lost a horse to colic before, but I've seen it and although he had some of the signs he also was missing many of the signs. I don't know what it was that took him for sure but this is breaking my heart, he was only 10 years old. I bought him as a 7 year old stud who had never seen a person, he was so full of himself lol. A year later he was my best heel horse, he was a sweet rascal, oh so full of personality. About two weeks prior to this I was roping on him and he broke a seismoid bone so he was on vacation for a year. I don't know if maybe Shawn was up in heaven and knew he wouldn't heal so he took him up to where he would be sound again or if he just needed him up there. When I buried him I looked up to heaven and I swear he was there with Shawn. Take care of eachother, I miss you both so much.

Through it all I hope everyone has the best Christmas possible and lets all try to remember the true meaning.

This is us in the mountains this summer, we were way back in Gods country


This is him at a big roping this spring


He was beautiful, and I am so sorry for your loss. I'm wishing you all the best and a brighter new year... (((hugs)))
A beautiful boy.........Losing one you love anytime is hard.........Losing them over the Holidays is a double whammy.
I am so, so, sorry...

it is not whining, it is sharing the burden of grief and we are offering comfort the only way we know how: by listening.

My thoughts are with you.


I figured out it is much better to cry, scream, kick, bang, and yes whine when you need to. Its much better than trying to hold it in or you can easily go crazy inside yourself and retreat which is what I had done for a long time. You play the hand you have been dealt anyway you need to for your own sanity and your friends, your real friends, will stand by you and never let you down.

I hate that so much bad has happened to you in your young life and I will not promise you that it will get better soon. But I will promise you that you are much loved by your family and friends and of course your brother forever always and that will never change. Look for the brightest star in the sky tonite. That's yours. Hang on to the love it represents and let it guide you.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss

What a Beautiful boy he was... I wish there was something else I coud say to help ease your pain.

Always know we are hear to listen and help, so dont ever hesitate to vent or cry or whatever...

I'm so sorry for this loss. I will hope and pray that next year will be a better year for you honey.
I am so sorry on the loss. He sure was beautiful, I am sure you will always treasure all your happy memories you have of him. (((hugs)))
I am so sorry, and there are no words right now that can help the pain. it takes time, a lot of time. Just try to hang in there, but cry as much as you need to. I know I still do almost every day. My thoughts are with you.
Oh Kera...I am soooo very, very sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy. Sending you warm ((Huggss)).
Oh gosh I'm so sorry for this tragic loss - I hope he and your brother are having a good reunion right now.
I am so very sorry..........he was beautiful....I know this is a hard time. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm so sorry, he was a handsome guy. God bless you.

You know there is a saying that God will never give you more than you can take. Sometimes there are days you really, REALLY wonder. I am sorry that this has happened to you. You are not whining and our heart breaks for you. I am very sorry.
I'm so sorry. I have lost a horse to colic too. You've had a really tough year, please don't think we think your complaining as you stated. We are here for you....... anytime. Give your parents a hug too and say a prayer.
Thank you all so much for your kind replies. I really need to talk but I don't want to burden Mom and Dad anymore and I don't have any friends that REALLY understand. Ya know now that a few days have passed I thought of a cute little story from the day Dad and I were burying my Chato. We went into his favorite part of the pasture and picked a spot to bury him. While Dad dug the hole with the loader I went into the barn and talked to Chato, then I decided that I wanted a chunk of his tail for a keepsake. So I snipped a piece and hung it in my tack room. Dad and I both had tears running down our faces as we took him to his final resting place. We talked about how Shawn must have needed him and how they would be winning ropings up in heaven. Then as we said our last few words over him Dad looked at me with all seriousness and said "Shawn's gonna be peeved at you" I was shocked, what did he mean? Then I saw the chunk missing from his tail and had to laugh. I informed him that when he got to heaven it would be whole again, but it was good for both of us to put a tad of humor into a really tough day. Shawn always said ya had to find the bright side to everything so we really tried hard to do that. Maybe it didn't come across right in print but the day it happened it really broke the ice and helped us both to cope with everything that has happened.

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