A little political humor

[Neil]

I just recieved this humor in the mail and it says a lot about how I feel.

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I asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President of the US some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there. So I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?'

She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.'

'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'You don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow, pull weeds, and rake my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'

She thought that over for a few seconds while her Mom glared at me, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?'

I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'

Her folks still aren't talking to me.

 

[littlesteppers]

John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

John's favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, could run for cover.

To John's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Renfrew County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the No Bell Piece Prize but they also awarded him the Pullet surprise as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention.

Vote carefully this year, the bells are not always audible.

 

[horseplay]

Perfect, I love it

 

[Neil]

Vote carefully this year, the bells are not always audible.

WOW !!! That one snuck up on me. Very good and probably very true.

 

[laughingllama75]

LOL, those were too funny. thanks for sharing. It's funny.......my sisters and I are on total opposite sides as far as political parties, but we do respect each other enough to not argue over our beliefs, and we do share all sorts of jokes like these. I will have to pass them on........

 

[Sonya]

Great Jokes! Loved them both!

 

[Jill]

Both jokes are very funny

 

[Miniv]

BOTH jokes are great........I am passing them on!