i want a dog

[irishmini]

this is the third time i tried to post this........so if its already on /...................i ,m sorry.

basically...i love dogs.. i had two when i met my hubby....both were old and they died after we were together about a year

i realy want a dog now.. but he really hates dogs

if i get a dog is has to be part of the familly..you know.. in the house..etc ..ect..he says no way............

what should i do..............what i want or what he wants...

i cant bear a life without a dog........!!

lol

 

[Jill]

Oh man. My husband learned long ago that saying I can't do or have something is the best way to see that I make it happen!

Dogs mean so much to me! I actually love them more than horses. We have SIX dogs!!! Four shih-tzu's, a lab x chow, and a blue merle collie. I can't imagine life without them but happily, my husband loves them all as much as I do. The little ones even sleep on our bed.

I'm not sure what advice to give. What about going for a real, tough, "manly" type of breed? Maybe that would go over better than something like my little shih-tzu's, who are not the most fierce bunch :bgrin

 

[mountain_waif]

....

 

[minimama]

Jill, I knew there was a reason I liked you so much!

: I too have six dogs! All big except one. We have a pomeranian too. But she thinks she's a great dane so, we're good!

My husband knows better than to tell me no. I just make sure we are even. If he wants something I don't want him to have or think we do not need, I give in and then go get what I want too. All works out in the end.

Maybe you could compromise and tell him you are going to get a dog becuase it is a need you have but you will allow him to pick the breed or pick the dog out. Something like that.

 

[irishmini]

ok!would i be better getting two dogs... keep each other company.....or one, god..its hard......i think i should have married an animal lover

 

[Jill]

Actually, I think it's best to start with one. I think if you get two puppies at the same time, they can bond more to each other than to their "Mommy" and "Daddy". Oh, won't your hubby love that -- being called Daddy to the dogs :lol: BUT once you have grown one up, it would be awesome to then get another puppy

:

 

[luvmycritters]

Could you two compromise and get a farm dog that stays in the barn most of the time? I would try to convince him that far and then bring the dog in the house more and more....rainy days, snowy days, too cold days, too hot days...etc.

I agree with mountain_waif - I think her advise is a tactic that I would take...I also agree with Jill though -

My husband learned long ago that saying I can't do or have something is the best way to see that I make it happen!

I always try and compromise and sweet talk my hubby when I have a knew brainstorm where critters are concidered - but after a certain amount of time ( which I decide in my own little noggin ) if he doesnt cave - then I just go ahead and get the little lovelys any way! ( Yes - I do have my own moola - not much - but enough! ) Oh - and Mr. hard -ss always falls in love with my ( our ) animals!

Lori

 

[disneyhorse]

Well I sort of believe that your significant other is more important than doing something YOU want to do without getting approval from them.

I wanted a cat when I moved in with my boyfriend, he said NO. Had bad experiences with cats with his ex. I told them that I was eventually going to get a cat and to think over it. I asked and begged and discussed and bargained and pleaded. But I wasn't going to get one until he was okay with it.

One day I found a cute kitten for adoption. Asked boyfriend... please, she's so cute and is going to the animal shelter and has a wonderful personality... and he said OKAY! He now loves the cat and has so much fun with her.

It is tough to be an animal lover with someone not as crazy as you. But you have to be respectful of their wishes, find out WHY.

Now my exboyfriend... he said I was spending too much time with the horses and not with him. He wanted me to get rid of them. It was him or them. So... that's why he's my ex now.

Andrea

 

[1 is not enough]

You could get a new husband! :lol: (sorry could not resist)

Karen

 

[TangoMango]

Jill.....LOL.. That is exactly what I tell my husband, :aktion033: and after several times of getting an animal after he said no, he doesnt even bother anymore. :bgrin I mean after all, Im not 3 yrs old and he isnt my father, what right does he have to tell me what I can and cant do???

:

 

[minisaremighty]

First, I would suggest you get to the root of WHY your husband doesn't like dogs. Did he not like the two you had when you first got together? Did he just tolerate them because he figured they were old and would be gone soon enough?

See if you can get him to be specific about WHY he doesn't like dogs. Because of shedding? Because they are hyper? I find that there are a lot of people who say they "hate dogs" that came to that conclusion after a bad experience with a dog, such as an untrained, undisciplined dog. Talk to him about the different breeds and their characteristics. See if he'd be willing to go to a breeder or two just to visit and learn about a breed that MIGHT work.

My husband put his foot down and said no more dogs a couple years ago. We currently had two at the time and he felt that was enough. Well, let's just say I've spent quite a bit of time working on him with the above suggestions and he's agreed to let us get another one, but he had to have a say in WHAT breed we choose. He attended a local dog show and met some breeders of the breeds he found acceptable.

I do as others have suggested about making sure my husband gets what HE wants also. Makes both of us happy. I want a dog, he wanted to spend some money on a hobby

Don't give up hope!!

:

 

[Shelley]

Sorry....but in my experience as a breeder I have found that if EVERY member of the family

doesn't want the dog - it ultimately doesn't work.

I will never place a puppy in a home now where I haven't met the entire family and they are

ALL in agreement.

A couple of times I sold a puppy (siberians) to Dads that came with kids and no wife, only to

find out later that the wife wasn't there because she didn't like dogs. Neither home worked out, I'm

sad to say.

Shelley

 

[bfogg]

I am sorry but I disagree. I don't think an animal should be exposed to someone who hates dogs. Your husband must have a reason for hating dogs. It would be better I think to explore why he feels that way before bringing home a dog that is not going to be accepted.

I also think your husband should NOT HAVE to be around a dog if he feels that strongly about it. He has his rights as well. I would wait and see what could be worked out between you two before you just kind of spring it on him as a surprise or such.

Be patient give both of you some time to try to work out his reasons for hating dogs.validate that he has these feelings and don't pooh pooh them.

And lastly I have found that men get quite quickly wrapped around a small dogs finger er I mean paws. They are less threatening, take up less room and a lot of them don't leave hair on the couch for him to get mad about.

But please wait and only get a dog when he is ready to give love not resentment, the animal will feel it one way or another.

Good luck,

Bonnie

 

[Miniv]

Read through all the posts so far...........Combine them together and you will have some interesting and valuable advice.

First of all WHY doesn't he want you to get a dog? Find out.

Would he be willing to compromise for perhaps a small dog or a certain breed of dog?

I hate to say this now, since you're already married, but, one of my criterias for the man in my life was that he would be an animal lover -- dogs, cats, horses, didn't matter.........

If he's not willing to compromise, then you have a problem. And it's not a dog problem, IMO. It goes deeper than that.

MA

 

[qtrrae]

WOW!! That is a dilemma! I can NOT imagine my life without a dog. I'm with Jill - I actually love them more than horses! You need to have some serious talks with him and let him know how much this means to you.

"Maybe" you could borrow one on a trial basis (with option to buy) and see how it works out. But if he is really against it then that would probably not work. Somehow you need to figure out a way to make him think that getting a dog is his idea - that usually works with my husband - the other thing I have tried is to say I would like something else (example a pot bellied pig for in the house) of course he didn't want that so we compromise and get the dog instead.

Anyway good luck and I say be persistent - we only go around in this world one time and I believe if you really want a dog there just has to be a way to get it!!

:

 

[Katie12]

My husband told me many years ago "It's Me Or The HORSES" it took me about 2 seconds and I blurted out IT"S THE HORSES!!! He has never brought it up again!

 

[sedeh]

This would be a tough one for me as I'm such a dog lover. One of the things that attracted me to my husband was his love for animals. In fact, I had to put my foot down or we'd have more than we do now! I don't think I'd have married someone that "hated" something I love, but what to do after the fact? If it was something I've done/had prior to marriage I would sometimes say "Hey, you knew that about me before we got married so deal with it". I'm afraid I'm not very tactful though! Good luck with your dilema, but I wouldn't bring a dog into that situation unless your husband does a turn around and agrees......just not fair to the dog.

 

[Marty]

I haven't read the other posts so maybe this has already been suggested.

A lot of Humane Organizations need foster parents for dogs that need to socialize or due to over crowding etc.

Why not become a foster parent to a dog........

???

This would get hubby used to having a dog around.

Then when you foster one that you both like, maybe he'd go for it and let you adopt.

 

[rabbitsfizz]

If you are set to keep the Husband then you need to compromise. There is no reason why a dog cannot be happy outside in a good kennel and run- mine used to be, although it has now fallen down through lack of use, BUT they all used to go out at night and my house was a lot cleaner!!

BUT you have top sit hubby down and tell him this has to be a joint thing- ha has no right to say NO DOGS just as you have no right to say I SHALL have dogs.

Bonnie is spot on, I would not let a pup go to a home like that- I have deliberately done it with cats as they are clever and have the cat hater wrapped around their paw in two days flat!!

But, if Hubby just can't deal with the mess, get a non-shedding, smaller dog- Schnauzer, Bichon, etc, and get two and build a good, warm kennel, and there is no reason why they should be under his feet.

You need to find out why he does not want a dog, and you need to tell him there is more than him in the decision, here!!!

(Just for the record I got rid of the husband- no horses and no dogs and a house full of kids was NOT an option!!)

 

[irishmini]

THANK YOU ALL...youve given me lots to think about........

i will keep you posted..

i did have a chat to him.... he says its the poo in the garden.and it jumping on visitors that he doesnt like................so i told him, i would train it not to jump up, and i,d pick up poo..

i really think it would be great for the children to have a dog........i,ll keep working on it!!!!!!