Bassett
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jul 2, 2006
- Messages
- 1,729
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> >Thought this was pretty cute and true too, Recieved from my niece in Va. I can just imagine her saying these things. :bgrin
> >Some thoughts
> >
> > Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my
> own pants
> >
> >
> >
> >Marriage changes passion.
> >Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
> >
> >I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
> >So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
> >
> >
> >
> >How come we choose from just two people to run for
> >president and over fifty for Miss America?
> >
> >A good friend will come and bail you out of jail..but, a true friend
> will be
> sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"
>
> I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear
> loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I
> wouldn't have
> signed up in the first place!
> >
> >When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky
> dunk."
> >
> >
> >
> >Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the
> difference.
> >
> >Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply
> press
> 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!
> >
> >
> >
> >Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they
> can in
> prison?
> >
> >Wouldn't you know it...
> >Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.
> >
> >
> >
> >Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten
> Commandments cannot
> be displayed outside?
> >
> >Bumper sticker of the year:
> >"If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English,
> thank a
> soldier"> >
> >
> >
> >
> >And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets
> to the
> end, the faster it goes.
> >Some thoughts
> >
> > Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my
> own pants
> >
> >
> >
> >Marriage changes passion.
> >Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
> >
> >I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
> >So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
> >
> >
> >
> >How come we choose from just two people to run for
> >president and over fifty for Miss America?
> >
> >A good friend will come and bail you out of jail..but, a true friend
> will be
> sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"
>
> I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear
> loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I
> wouldn't have
> signed up in the first place!
> >
> >When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky
> dunk."
> >
> >
> >
> >Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the
> difference.
> >
> >Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply
> press
> 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!
> >
> >
> >
> >Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they
> can in
> prison?
> >
> >Wouldn't you know it...
> >Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.
> >
> >
> >
> >Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten
> Commandments cannot
> be displayed outside?
> >
> >Bumper sticker of the year:
> >"If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English,
> thank a
> soldier"> >
> >
> >
> >
> >And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets
> to the
> end, the faster it goes.
