Date with my son night

[Frankie]

My son is 16, soon to be 17,,,oh geezzzzze.

Like all other teenagers he is on the go a LOT!! He is driving, has a car, plays high school tennis, part time job, plays in a band, and when not doing those things, has a skateboard attached to his feet!

Not because I can't let go,,,but because I want to stay connected, be informed,,,we now have a date night every other week. Uhhh, sorry, mother/son night,,,the date night phrase made him a little sick.

One is at home, cooking our supper, a card game,,,then the next one we go out. No movies as we can't talk. Dinner, bowling, pumpkin patch, (I know, but it's that time of year). I have Colts tickets, plan to get Pacer tickets, (again, I know but all we got).

So,,,,do you do anything like this with your teenager? At some point do they say, no really mom, come on? Things you do?

For now I would say he is just going along with it. The appreciation part comes into play in about what, 20 years? Although I've got to say I am SURE he enjoyed the day he was teaching me how to skateboard down stairs, and while I went down the 12+ steps, the board stayed at the top.

When you were a teenager, if your parent had done this date night thing,,,,,you would have????

 

[Marty]

At some point do they say, no really mom, come on?


Of course!





When you were a teenager, if your parent had done this date night thing,,,,,you would have????


No way. And now I know how my mom felt......can't say she didn't warn me but I guess what goes around comes around. They all grow up no matter how much you try to sit on them and squash them down so they stay small, it doesn't work, I tried.

 

 


That stuff quit around here the minute they got their license and cars. It was bye bye mom, hello homies! Believe me I tried to keep the ride to the pumkin patch alive and the great Christmas tree hunt, but it all pretty much went out the window when the hormones kicked in and girls and parties and camping became more important than humoring mom and her little traditions. Last year was the very first time ever that Hus and I went by ourselves to select the Christmas tree. Poor Hus, he was usually always working and didn't have a clue about how this worked so I had to teach him:


First we play Christmas Carols all the way to the tree farm and sing along in our very decorated truck, battery lights and oranments and all.


Second we wear our Santa hats (the boys would duck till we left town)


Third we get the biggest tree we can fit in the space which takes hours of being fussy


Forth we celebrate on the way home caroling along and stop to eat something sinful


Well ....tree shopping with Hus was a complete let down. We didn't do steps 1, 2, and 4 and step three lasted about 5 minutes.


I stayed pretty much connected as much as possible but there comes a point that they certainly won't be telling you every detail and they will keep you from the "oh my gosh you did not do that!" stuff. My kids referred to it as "protecting my blood pressure." I did learn the hard way that the more I pushed myself the further they would withdraw so I had to back off and let them go and hope to heck their upbringing would kick in when push came to shove.

 


The way it works now is if I call Dan and ask him if he can do this or that with me on a specific day, he will as long as he knows its important to me.

 

[h2t99]

I think that is great!! I would of loved that when I was growing up, my parents and I did not get along at all so maybe if they had shown me some attention things would of been better between us!! We talk about it now and wonder how different things may of been if we had done different things together!!

So I say keep on getting your son to do things together!!

 

[Frankie]

I was going to do it once a week but decided that may be to much "mom" time. He gets to pick what we are doing every 2 times, that is why I ended up on a skateboard. We do have common interests and that helps a lot. Bowling, tennis, and computers. So in some cases when the other one picks what were doing, at least there is a chance the other one will enjoy it.

So we'll keep it up until I see he is miserable, or I break my arm doing an allie-thing-a-jigger on a skateboard.

 

[LindaL]

Some of my "best" times with my kids has been after they moved out and wanted to spend an evening with me; going out to dinner and talking. Of course, they are only 21 and 22, so those "dates" are few and far between since they have "lives" LOL, but I still cherish them!

When they were teenagers, we really didnt do much "one on one" times unless it was horse related then it would be my daughter and I. My poor son was left in the dirt a lot unfortunately...Yet, funny thing is...he is usually the one who "welcomes" time with me now...

BTW, as a teenager I would have been horrified to spend time like that with my parents....LOL!

 

[leigha]

I love it and wish you luck on keeping it alive. He will so appriciate it later on in life. I know I absolutly LOVE hanging out with my mom, dad, and grandma. EVERY saterday we meet up at mom's to go yard saleing. Well my dad doesn't but it's great to have a little chit chat in the morning with him before mom, grandma, and me head out for yard sales. My brother used to take my grandma to the movies every once in a while all the way up till he moved 9 hrs away.

I think you have a great idea and I hope to remember that in about 9 years when my oldest is that age

Especially the everyother week such a great balance

 

[ChrystalPaths]

My son (18)is taking me for my first tattoo, there's a date! and yes he spoils his mum, I love him. We've done movies and supper, not every week but once in a while he makes me feel special.

 

[Karen S]

Well, my son (who's 28) still enjoys an evening of just the two of us. He orders Pizza, picks it up and we spend the time either watching Wrestling or Ghost Hunters his dad (my husband) works nights so he can't be with us. It gives us time together to visit about his job, his friends, and girlfriends and any other topics that might come up.

Karen

 

[user 488]

At some point do they say, no really mom, come on? Things you do?
When you were a teenager, if your parent had done this date night thing,,,,,you would have????

When I was a teenager....like 15 or so, my dad decided that once a week we would do something together. I was not totally thrilled at the time......but I had NO choice. It was mandatory. You know, they were my parents and I did have to do what they asked contrary to some kids today.

Anyway, it was always a nice dinner at some wonderful restaurant......I grew up in Chicago......great food. Or we would go out together on the boat or he would take me shopping. So it wasn't all that bad!

I look back on that now as some very special alone time with my dad. I wish I had that time with him now. Your son will appreciate it later in life.

 

[Marty]

Linda I swear I think I see and hear more of Dan now than I had when he lived here! Every time I turn around here he comes or is calling me on the phone "Hey Maw....."