I found this written about my town of Dunlap. I thought it was cute and very accurate.
1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is Dun-lape.
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dunlap has its own version of traffic rules...the truck with the exhaust goes first at a 4-way stop. The truck with the biggest tires goes after that.
3. All directions start with, "Go down to the Wal-Mart"...
4. The Chamber of Commerce says parking after dark in the City should be "pretty safe"
5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning
6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot.
7. Cherry St. can only be correctly pronounced by a native.
8. Stop signs, the two traffic lights and turn lanes are consistently changing. They are moved around in the middle of the night to make the next days driving a bit more exciting.
9. Watch very carefully for road hazards such as deer, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mules, pot holes, cats. pieces of other cars, truck tires, raccoons, squirrels, rabbits and crows feeding on any of these items.
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been " accidentally activated."
11. All old ladies with blue hair driving a pick up truck always have the right of way.
12. The minimum acceptable speed on the section between Main Street and HWY-28 is 85. Anything less is considered downright sissy. This is Dunlap’s version of NASCAR track.
13. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously.
14. Never stare at the driver of a car with their name stickered on the window.
15. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 55 zone ... you are considered a road hazard, and will be " flipped off" accordingly.
16. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches is recommended all vehicles.
17. It is better to stay off the roads on Saturdays, as 3 out of 4 drivers have had way too much or too little to drink.
18. It is good and honorable thing to have at least one head light not working on a car.
19. Yeah the mountains are pretty, but how 'bout all 4 dollar stores!
20. Don't ask anyone about Oak Ridge. We know. They know we know. We know they know we know. We just aren't supposed to say anything about it.
1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is Dun-lape.
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Dunlap has its own version of traffic rules...the truck with the exhaust goes first at a 4-way stop. The truck with the biggest tires goes after that.
3. All directions start with, "Go down to the Wal-Mart"...
4. The Chamber of Commerce says parking after dark in the City should be "pretty safe"
5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00 to 10:00. The evening rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:00. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday morning
6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot.
7. Cherry St. can only be correctly pronounced by a native.
8. Stop signs, the two traffic lights and turn lanes are consistently changing. They are moved around in the middle of the night to make the next days driving a bit more exciting.
9. Watch very carefully for road hazards such as deer, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, mules, pot holes, cats. pieces of other cars, truck tires, raccoons, squirrels, rabbits and crows feeding on any of these items.
10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been " accidentally activated."
11. All old ladies with blue hair driving a pick up truck always have the right of way.
12. The minimum acceptable speed on the section between Main Street and HWY-28 is 85. Anything less is considered downright sissy. This is Dunlap’s version of NASCAR track.
13. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously.
14. Never stare at the driver of a car with their name stickered on the window.
15. If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 in a 55 zone ... you are considered a road hazard, and will be " flipped off" accordingly.
16. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches is recommended all vehicles.
17. It is better to stay off the roads on Saturdays, as 3 out of 4 drivers have had way too much or too little to drink.
18. It is good and honorable thing to have at least one head light not working on a car.
19. Yeah the mountains are pretty, but how 'bout all 4 dollar stores!
20. Don't ask anyone about Oak Ridge. We know. They know we know. We know they know we know. We just aren't supposed to say anything about it.
