Blooper #1
Here we are in a very serious drought. We haven’t seen rain in days, weeks, months. Dry, dusty, nasty, and no hay has been bailed anywhere locally. This means we have to do a road trip. Takes about 2 hours one way. So early Saturday morning Hus announces that we’re going to get our hay. Yay. We take the back roads over the mountain and head up to the plateau, the fastest way, but not the easiest way; super steep in areas, super curvy; totally a very boring ride, and he’s practicing singing a new song from Church and doesn’t know the words. My poor truck, known as the “diller killer” (cuz it met with a few armadillos in Florida) still needs a new engine and tranny so Hus is nursing it along.
We arrived at the hay farm around 10am-ish and boy it’s hot and humid and the sunshine is really bright. I love this hay; luscious, beautiful, sweet smelling, palatable, perfect hay. We over loaded some 52 bails on top of my poor truck while I watched it sink way down on what little springs it has left. That is one very huge tall load towering over the cab and hanging out over the sides and out the tailgate. We headed home and he’s singing again and stopped only once for a quick drink along the way. Hus was bored and began to push the diller killer with that super heavy load and I began to complain about it: “Your killing it”. And then I got; “Who’s driving, you or me?” type of thing, so ok, I’m shutting up, you just sing.
We got about half way home when the sun disappeared and I started watching the sky. Looks kinda strange I told the Hus. If I didn’t know better, I’d say that it’s going to rain. Hus rolls his eyes; “This is a drought, remember?” Ok dumb statement from me so I’m shutting up again and I know he’s singing the words wrong. He’s going “Halleluiah” instead of “Alleluia” and I’m telling him there’s no “Hal” and a bunch of other wrong words he has all messed up but I give up and I’m not saying anything no more. Now we’re about 45 minutes from home and I feel the air changing, it feels cooler and there are some very suspicious looking clouds in the sky. “Those sure look like rain clouds to me” I announce. And then I get “the look” again like I’m wrong of course, but I just can’t stop watching the clouds and he’s just a bellowing out that same song. Thirty minutes from home now, I finally explode and spit it out “Pay attention, It’s going to rain, those are rain clouds, I know it, we’re going to get hit; we have to pull over and cover the hay with tarps. I have tarps in the back seat and bungys. But no. I get that look yet again like I am a crazy person, but he’s not singing anymore, he’s humming it now. So I go for it once more: “Look at those cars coming towards us, they have their lights on; you have to pull over, we’re going into the rain, there’s rain up there, will you look at the sky already?” He thinks I have lost my mind and is telling me this dumb joke now that is like 50 years old.
ONE STUPID LOUSY MILE from my house and here it comes…….pouring down in buckets, all over my gorgeous hay! I’m going to cry. No, I'm going to cuss. I'm going to be a big potty mouth now. We pull over, jump out, and before I can figure out where he went, there he is standing on top of the cab of the truck “Hand me the tarps up here quick!” and I’m hollering at him “you’re going to fall and bust you’re a__ get down from there before you slip” Well we both got soaked and so did the hay. We made a mad dash for home as he gunned it. I jumped out of the truck, slung open the gates as he drove the truck in the isle way of the barn. He looks at me and says “it’s raining.” Duh! Ya think? And he’s smiling and humming and I’m like what is so dang funny? He thinks it’s funny because he said he never saw me move that fast before. The bails on the top were soaking, dripping wet so I set them aside to feed those right away, and turned the industrial fan on the rest where the sides got wet and watched the sun come back out just a shinning like a Christmas tree. Auuukkkkkkkk! Well, the bails dried out but I won’t really know if they went bad till I use them. How much you want to bet they are all wrecked too? Just think, 3 more trips and I’m stocked up on winter hay.
Blooper #2
We’re back to the drought again and the sun is shinning of course, so today Amy and I go to the feed store, some 20+ miles one way. I go down the mountain and we’re traveling along the hwy and almost reach our destination. Within a half mile of the feed store, KABOOM! Pouring down rain. I arrive at the feed store announcing that I must be the only Bimbo around coming to buy feed in the downpour, without realizing there were other people in the store that may have heard that…….oopsie! We covered the feed bags up in hefty bags that I just happened to have with me in my Rubbermaid box of junk in the truck and off I went. The rain was coming down pounding on the truck real hard and that’s when I realized that Amy was freaking out in the seat on the passenger side. She only saw rain once before and didn’t like it so she hit the floorboard cowering down there like a weenie. OOOH puppy. Please do not puke. Please do not puke. We made it home and the sun was still shinning. Never got a drop at the house. And hurray! Amy did not puke in my truck for once! That pup is getting really good!
Blooper#3
Dan was working a job in Chattanooga with the hardwood crew and drove the big van loaded with wood and power tools. It’s a super mansion type home under construction, the kind us normal po fok would be afraid to walk in and sit down. I do love rich people. Anyhow, Dan said out of no where a storm just exploded, the power went out, and before they knew what was going on, branches and debris was coming through the brand new windows of the home, that were just installed a few weeks ago. Then they heard a very large crash and went out to find a large tree had fallen, smashing the work van. Dan said it was not like he parked under a tree. He was parked about 60 feet from the tree lines but the van still got smashed with the top part of the tree, estimated about 70 or so feet tall. The roof is quite caved in and it blew the windows out on both sides. And oh, no collision on the old van, just liability…..Dan thinks it has character now.
I think this is the end of the drought.
Happy Day
Here we are in a very serious drought. We haven’t seen rain in days, weeks, months. Dry, dusty, nasty, and no hay has been bailed anywhere locally. This means we have to do a road trip. Takes about 2 hours one way. So early Saturday morning Hus announces that we’re going to get our hay. Yay. We take the back roads over the mountain and head up to the plateau, the fastest way, but not the easiest way; super steep in areas, super curvy; totally a very boring ride, and he’s practicing singing a new song from Church and doesn’t know the words. My poor truck, known as the “diller killer” (cuz it met with a few armadillos in Florida) still needs a new engine and tranny so Hus is nursing it along.
We arrived at the hay farm around 10am-ish and boy it’s hot and humid and the sunshine is really bright. I love this hay; luscious, beautiful, sweet smelling, palatable, perfect hay. We over loaded some 52 bails on top of my poor truck while I watched it sink way down on what little springs it has left. That is one very huge tall load towering over the cab and hanging out over the sides and out the tailgate. We headed home and he’s singing again and stopped only once for a quick drink along the way. Hus was bored and began to push the diller killer with that super heavy load and I began to complain about it: “Your killing it”. And then I got; “Who’s driving, you or me?” type of thing, so ok, I’m shutting up, you just sing.
We got about half way home when the sun disappeared and I started watching the sky. Looks kinda strange I told the Hus. If I didn’t know better, I’d say that it’s going to rain. Hus rolls his eyes; “This is a drought, remember?” Ok dumb statement from me so I’m shutting up again and I know he’s singing the words wrong. He’s going “Halleluiah” instead of “Alleluia” and I’m telling him there’s no “Hal” and a bunch of other wrong words he has all messed up but I give up and I’m not saying anything no more. Now we’re about 45 minutes from home and I feel the air changing, it feels cooler and there are some very suspicious looking clouds in the sky. “Those sure look like rain clouds to me” I announce. And then I get “the look” again like I’m wrong of course, but I just can’t stop watching the clouds and he’s just a bellowing out that same song. Thirty minutes from home now, I finally explode and spit it out “Pay attention, It’s going to rain, those are rain clouds, I know it, we’re going to get hit; we have to pull over and cover the hay with tarps. I have tarps in the back seat and bungys. But no. I get that look yet again like I am a crazy person, but he’s not singing anymore, he’s humming it now. So I go for it once more: “Look at those cars coming towards us, they have their lights on; you have to pull over, we’re going into the rain, there’s rain up there, will you look at the sky already?” He thinks I have lost my mind and is telling me this dumb joke now that is like 50 years old.
ONE STUPID LOUSY MILE from my house and here it comes…….pouring down in buckets, all over my gorgeous hay! I’m going to cry. No, I'm going to cuss. I'm going to be a big potty mouth now. We pull over, jump out, and before I can figure out where he went, there he is standing on top of the cab of the truck “Hand me the tarps up here quick!” and I’m hollering at him “you’re going to fall and bust you’re a__ get down from there before you slip” Well we both got soaked and so did the hay. We made a mad dash for home as he gunned it. I jumped out of the truck, slung open the gates as he drove the truck in the isle way of the barn. He looks at me and says “it’s raining.” Duh! Ya think? And he’s smiling and humming and I’m like what is so dang funny? He thinks it’s funny because he said he never saw me move that fast before. The bails on the top were soaking, dripping wet so I set them aside to feed those right away, and turned the industrial fan on the rest where the sides got wet and watched the sun come back out just a shinning like a Christmas tree. Auuukkkkkkkk! Well, the bails dried out but I won’t really know if they went bad till I use them. How much you want to bet they are all wrecked too? Just think, 3 more trips and I’m stocked up on winter hay.
Blooper #2
We’re back to the drought again and the sun is shinning of course, so today Amy and I go to the feed store, some 20+ miles one way. I go down the mountain and we’re traveling along the hwy and almost reach our destination. Within a half mile of the feed store, KABOOM! Pouring down rain. I arrive at the feed store announcing that I must be the only Bimbo around coming to buy feed in the downpour, without realizing there were other people in the store that may have heard that…….oopsie! We covered the feed bags up in hefty bags that I just happened to have with me in my Rubbermaid box of junk in the truck and off I went. The rain was coming down pounding on the truck real hard and that’s when I realized that Amy was freaking out in the seat on the passenger side. She only saw rain once before and didn’t like it so she hit the floorboard cowering down there like a weenie. OOOH puppy. Please do not puke. Please do not puke. We made it home and the sun was still shinning. Never got a drop at the house. And hurray! Amy did not puke in my truck for once! That pup is getting really good!
Blooper#3
Dan was working a job in Chattanooga with the hardwood crew and drove the big van loaded with wood and power tools. It’s a super mansion type home under construction, the kind us normal po fok would be afraid to walk in and sit down. I do love rich people. Anyhow, Dan said out of no where a storm just exploded, the power went out, and before they knew what was going on, branches and debris was coming through the brand new windows of the home, that were just installed a few weeks ago. Then they heard a very large crash and went out to find a large tree had fallen, smashing the work van. Dan said it was not like he parked under a tree. He was parked about 60 feet from the tree lines but the van still got smashed with the top part of the tree, estimated about 70 or so feet tall. The roof is quite caved in and it blew the windows out on both sides. And oh, no collision on the old van, just liability…..Dan thinks it has character now.
I think this is the end of the drought.
Happy Day
