minisaremighty
Well-Known Member
[SIZE=10pt]I[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]n light of lvponies thread, I thought I would start a new thread.[/SIZE]
Just some things to ponder.
When you first got married, how did you look? Did you take pride in your appearance? Wear make up? Dress nice?
Do you still take pride in how you look? Do you still wear make up? Do you still dress nice?
When you first got married did you put your husband first?
Do you still put your husband first?
When you first got married, was there a lot of "passion"?
Is there still a lot of "passion"?
When you first got married, did you treat your husband with respect and like a MAN?
Do you still treat him with respect and like a man? Or do you belittle and yell at him when you are unhappy?
_______________________
I think many of us after so many years of marriage start to take things for granted. We get comfortable. Our lives expand, we have children, we get busy. Many of us wives stay home and tend to the kids, home and critters. We get in a rut.
I realized awhile back that I had become frumpy. I was the typical stay at home mom. I wore sweats, no makeup, gained weight and was tired all the time. This was not what my husband married. This was not what I wanted to be. I wasn't getting out of our marrige what I wanted anymore and neither was my husband.
Like a few others have mentioned, I read the book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands and the light went off. I realized that a big majority of it was my fault and under my control to change.
I now dress nice again. I now wear make up again EVERY day, I now exercise and eat right. I've lost weight. I treat my husband with respect and like a MAN. A man needs to be treated like a MAN to feed his pride. My husband says I look better than I ever have and he's continually showing/telling me how he feels about me.
We had lost the passion in our lives, but after stepping up and taking responsibility for my role in our "boring" life, we got our passion back and it's better than it ever was before. We have fallen in love all over again and it's the best thing ever.
I put my husband FIRST now over everything, including the kids. I love my children and would lay my life down for them, however, they will grow up and move on soon and who will be left when they are gone? My husband, the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Because he comes first now and then the kids, there is no longer room in my life for our mini horse or goats, so they will be moving on. It was totally and completely wrong of me to put animals before my husband. I know that is opening up a can of worms on THIS forum because there are many of you who claim to put your animals before your husbands, however, in my newly refreshed and extremely happy marriage, I can say now that I find it very sad to do that. I'll never do it again, it wasn't worth what I put at risk to do it. If you can find a "balance" between the two, good for you, but I couldn't.
___________________________
I guess I just wanted to take this opportunity to ask you all to take an assessment of your marrige and see if there is room for improvement. If you are in a rut, do something NOW to start trying to get out of it. Don't let it continue on another day without making some effort. Your marriage is worth it.
I feel pretty strongly the divorce rate is very high because of people just like my husband and I. We were fortunate enough to realize that we were on our way to an unhappy future which could have led to divorce. We know how lucky we are to have figured it out before it was too late, before all love was lost. If I can get just one couple to realize they are headed down a path to a possible divorce and rekindle what they once had before it's too late, I will feel I gave something back and the flames I'll most likely get for parts of this thread will be worth it.
So please take some time and think about your life and marriage and make sure you truly ARE going to be married until death do you part
*edited to reduce font!
Just some things to ponder.
When you first got married, how did you look? Did you take pride in your appearance? Wear make up? Dress nice?
Do you still take pride in how you look? Do you still wear make up? Do you still dress nice?
When you first got married did you put your husband first?
Do you still put your husband first?
When you first got married, was there a lot of "passion"?
Is there still a lot of "passion"?
When you first got married, did you treat your husband with respect and like a MAN?
Do you still treat him with respect and like a man? Or do you belittle and yell at him when you are unhappy?
_______________________
I think many of us after so many years of marriage start to take things for granted. We get comfortable. Our lives expand, we have children, we get busy. Many of us wives stay home and tend to the kids, home and critters. We get in a rut.
I realized awhile back that I had become frumpy. I was the typical stay at home mom. I wore sweats, no makeup, gained weight and was tired all the time. This was not what my husband married. This was not what I wanted to be. I wasn't getting out of our marrige what I wanted anymore and neither was my husband.
Like a few others have mentioned, I read the book The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands and the light went off. I realized that a big majority of it was my fault and under my control to change.
I now dress nice again. I now wear make up again EVERY day, I now exercise and eat right. I've lost weight. I treat my husband with respect and like a MAN. A man needs to be treated like a MAN to feed his pride. My husband says I look better than I ever have and he's continually showing/telling me how he feels about me.
We had lost the passion in our lives, but after stepping up and taking responsibility for my role in our "boring" life, we got our passion back and it's better than it ever was before. We have fallen in love all over again and it's the best thing ever.
I put my husband FIRST now over everything, including the kids. I love my children and would lay my life down for them, however, they will grow up and move on soon and who will be left when they are gone? My husband, the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Because he comes first now and then the kids, there is no longer room in my life for our mini horse or goats, so they will be moving on. It was totally and completely wrong of me to put animals before my husband. I know that is opening up a can of worms on THIS forum because there are many of you who claim to put your animals before your husbands, however, in my newly refreshed and extremely happy marriage, I can say now that I find it very sad to do that. I'll never do it again, it wasn't worth what I put at risk to do it. If you can find a "balance" between the two, good for you, but I couldn't.
___________________________
I guess I just wanted to take this opportunity to ask you all to take an assessment of your marrige and see if there is room for improvement. If you are in a rut, do something NOW to start trying to get out of it. Don't let it continue on another day without making some effort. Your marriage is worth it.
I feel pretty strongly the divorce rate is very high because of people just like my husband and I. We were fortunate enough to realize that we were on our way to an unhappy future which could have led to divorce. We know how lucky we are to have figured it out before it was too late, before all love was lost. If I can get just one couple to realize they are headed down a path to a possible divorce and rekindle what they once had before it's too late, I will feel I gave something back and the flames I'll most likely get for parts of this thread will be worth it.
So please take some time and think about your life and marriage and make sure you truly ARE going to be married until death do you part
*edited to reduce font!
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