I am very uncomfortable with this...

[Marsha Cassada]

She asked me what I thought about it and I was so shocked I said I would have to think about it. Next thing I know she has sent off the paperwork and it's a done deal. There are six of us children. One (the executrix) thinks it's a great idea (when you're dead you're dead--who cares?), the rest of us think it's terrible. The thought of my mother's body being cut up, stored in formaldahyde, and viewed by medical students totally repels me. Her motive is not the betterment of society, it is simply because she hates spending money. I could probably bear it if she had a love of her fellow man. Anyone else have this in a parent?

Marsha

 

[Marylou]

You should honor her wishes. I am going to do the same thing. If I can help one person than its worth it. I feel its a waste to put the body in the ground to disintegrate when good could come from it. Your mother won't be there, only her earthly shell.

:

 

[Ashley]

While its something I would never do, and im lucky enough to know my mom would never either if that is what was wanted that is what would be done.

I know my mom wants to be cremated and im not thrilled with the idea of burning her up but if that is what she wants that is what she will get.

 

[Marty]

My mother was an eye donor, but then she went blind ............they couldn't use her eyes

Michael was an organ donor...........but he had nothing left to donate...........nothing.......

I don't like the idea of being donated for science.........not at all

but the idea of donating a part, like eyes to help the blind see, or a heart or a lung etc. that would help someone else to live a normal life is ok with me........

 

[SunQuest]

I guess I look at it from the standpoint of the person who is making the decision about the way they want to be handled after dying. It is their wishes, and if you love them, you will honor those wishes even if you don't like it. I have nothing against cremation as I think it is more sanitary for the enviroment and when there are massive natural disasters, then the bodies don't resurface and contaminate food and water supplies (ie floods). And organ donation is ok, but I am not thrilled with it in the aspect of some issues that I have heard about. As far as donating to science, well... I have to agree with your opinion on it. Still, if that is what your mom wants, even if for the wrong reasons, then you should let her do it. I personally believe that funerals and burial rituals are mostly for comforting the living. The dead pretty much don't care where they rest in peace as it is just a shell that is left behind. After all, they aren't there in spirit.

Enjoy the money that your mom saves you all. Spend the money that she saved on buying a tree or two to plant in her name so that the next generations have something pretty to look forward to and so that you have something left of her to go take comfort in visiting. And understand that your mom is helping others to learn about medicine and she may save a life with her passing.

Hugs.

 

[Relic]

Like a lot of things it's a very personal choice to make and should be respected as a last one in honor of that person whatever they decide they would like done. All of us here will be cremated if there is anything left that wasn't donated on the back of our drivers license and we all have a niche in one cematary we picked out and paid for where the ashes will be stored. For us we thought it would be easier this way ahead of time to leave one less problem for the others in the family to handle if or when something should happen.

 

[Cronewolf]

[ You may luck out, my best friends dad wanted this also but he was too old.and they wouldn't take his body.quote name=Relic' date='Aug 8 2006, 12:02 PM' post='665534]

Like a lot of things it's a very personal choice to make and should be respected as a last one in honor of that person whatever they decide they would like done. All of us here will be cremated if there is anything left that wasn't donated on the back of our drivers license and we all have a niche in one cematary we picked out and paid for where the ashes will be stored. For us we thought it would be easier this way ahead of time to leave one less problem for the others in the family to handle if or when something should happen.

 

[Bluerocket]

Both of my parents are doing the same thing - My father is a retired Doctor and my Mother a retired nurse. Had someone else not donated their body to science -- neither of them would have been in the medical profession (e.g. they needed a cadaver to study).

I am fully in support of this.

I personally am a organ donor and donating my body for the same if they want it.

I see no purpose in wasting space in the ground with my body -- I want to eventually have the leftover remains cremated and spread where-ever they choose.

My personal opinion is that --- I won't be in that body - so I don't care what happens to it.

My husband has not decided what he wants yet - I will honor his wishes should he decide differently than I have chosen. The main thing to me to consider is what the individual wants to do with their body.

JJay

 

[Southern_Heart]

The lady that lived next door to us donated her body to science. She was 94 years old when she passed on and didn't look a day over 60. She had always kept herself in great shape till she fell and hurt her back and hip and then she just went down hill after that. She had to be moved to a nursing home and thats what I really feel killed her as she hated it there.

But getting back to the donating to science, She felt if her body could help just one person it would be worth it as she no longer would need it.

She was a great person and a wonderful friend.

Joyce

 

[susanne]

Once I'm dead, I want my body and organs to help however possible -- I won't need it any longer, so why should it just rot in the ground? Of course, as a type I diabetic, they probably won't have much use for me, so in that case I wish I could just be composted so I could make a beautiful garden even in death, or else I'd want to be cremated and have my ashes distributed to all of my friends (those who can stomach the idea) to scatter throughout the world...

If somebody DARED to go against my wishes (and Keith knows this), I would haunt them forever.

 

[Marsha Cassada]

So, almost everyone is saying that I don't have any rights as a surviving child. Mom gets what she wants--or thinks she wants. Like I said, if her motive was helping her fellow man I'd feel differently, but it's really all about money. Anyway, she is so healthy, she will probably survive all her children, and then there won't be a problem!

Marsha

 

[OhHorsePee]

I don't think anyone is telling you that you do not have rights as a surviving child. I think they are just voicing their opinions that they feel you should honor her wishes. Everyone has a different wish for their remains. It's what having a choice is all about. Money aside, it is my belief that funerals are for the living, not the dead. I want cremated and thrown in someones flower bed. Don't care whos!

My deceased mother-in-law wanted to be cremated. Her husband was against cremation and he overturned her wishes. It was upsetting, to me, that she didn't have that last wish that she so wanted. She always said she didn't want anyone staring at her in a casket. They did.

It's all about being able to have a choice.

Good luck

Fran

 

[susanne]

Ooohhh...that's another one -- open caskets! I am horribly offended when I go to a funeral and see the lid up -- I refuse to go up and look. That is absolutely the ghastliest tradition, and if anyone tried to do that with me, I'd sit up in the middle of my funeral and shriek like a banshee! (Not an issue, though, as I won't have a casket or a funeral...more like a huge blowout party...)

Seriously, I can't imagine objecting to anyone else's last wishes -- it is absolutely my right to say what is done after I die, and nobody -- not even Keith -- better try to fight that. It's not a matter of your wishes...what right does anyone have regarding someone else's corpse? Nobody owns me while I'm alive, and nobody will own me after I go.

 

[CKC]

I had a very serious boyfriend many many years ago. He went to medical school and one night he took myself and a couple of his friends to see the area where they did their reserach. I went to see the remains of those who donated their bodies to science. We weren't there long as there is a reason I am not in the medical field. He told me that they are told at the beginning that everyone was to respect their donated body and they did. I'm pretty sure they had a mass memorial service at the end of their semester/school year. I think that the cremated bodies were then given back to the families if they wished. It's been so long ago. I really can't remember that part.

My Mom wishes to be cremated. She has been telling me this since I was really young. She's the only one that talks about it. The rest of us keep saying that we will decide, but haven't. It's something we need to do.

 

[LaraP]

Well at least you know what your Mom wants. IT makes it harder for the families when an unexpected death happens and you have no idea what they would have wanted.

I myself am for organ donation, but if a medical person or COMPANY should call me in my time of grieving and ask for a BONE DONATION, I am afraid I wouldn't be too nice. Had a bad experience and don't intend on doing that mistake again..

I have to disagree with an open casket. And I also agree that the funeral homes are for the living. not the dead. Like someone said, they don't give a rats behind. by then they are rapped in the arms of their maker. what better place to be??

Seeing Joshua in the casket gave us some closure. at least we have no doubts, (even tho I did) that there was no mistake made especially when it takes several hours to ID a body.

And even tho, it takes up space David visits Joshua's gravesite guite often, gives him peace. And if that is what he needs to get thru this, then he can camp there if need be.

Everyone is so different about these things. So, it sure would make it easier on the famlies left behind on what you want done. And by all means, I think one is obligated to do what there love ones request is.

I guess I would be upset if my mother choice to give her body to medical science.I certainly wouldn't be happy about it, but that isn't my decsion to make. That would be hers. But I would want no part of that. But that is JMO.. nothng more.

Lara and David Pier

 

[user 488]

Ooohhh...that's another one -- open caskets! I am horribly offended when I go to a funeral and see the lid up -- I refuse to go up and look. That is absolutely the ghastliest tradition, and if anyone tried to do that with me, I'd sit up in the middle of my funeral and shriek like a banshee! (Not an issue, though, as I won't have a casket or a funeral...more like a huge blowout party...)

Seriously, I can't imagine objecting to anyone else's last wishes -- it is absolutely my right to say what is done after I die, and nobody -- not even Keith -- better try to fight that. It's not a matter of your wishes...what right does anyone have regarding someone else's corpse? Nobody owns me while I'm alive, and nobody will own me after I go.

I couldn't agree more Susanne.........right down to the open casket. I too would sit up and scare the heck out of everyone there. It wouldn't be a pretty sight. But like you......it won't be an issue with me either.

Shame on anyone who does not or even THINKS about not honoring someone's last wishes. Remember.....that maybe YOU someday. No child or husband (let alone anyone else) has the right to interfere. And Fran, I am appalled at what happened with you x mother in law. The husband must have been a real jack A $ $!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UGH! People just disgust me...especially those who pull stunts like this.

And right on.........NOBODY OWNS ME WHILE I AM ALIVE........AND NOBODY WILL OWN ME AFTER I GO......and that includes my husband and child!

 

[Marty]

open caskets! I am horribly offended when I go to a funeral and see the lid up

That's pretty much what I thought, until........

If you walked a day in my shoes, you would feel differently.

I would have given ANYTHING, ANYTHING to be able to see my beautiful boy's face just one more time, just one more time.......That's all I wanted and begged for and screamed for someone to open it up for me so I could just love him one more time............ I never got to say goodbye when he left to go riding. I even tried to get it open by myself but they came and locked it. It could not be done, not even in private for me under the horrific circumstances, it had to be closed casket. I had no choice. As for the gravesite, Jerry lives there. We all have plots together there now. I can't wait to be in mine so I can lay next to Michael.

 

[Leeana]

I dont know to much on this subject but i do know that my mom has said she wants to be cremated since i could remember ...how do i feel about this? Well dead or alive, i cant imagine someone throwing my mom into a burner. I want to be able to go to her grave and see her (well i guess not 'see her' but you get the gist). I dont want to see a vase everyday and be reminded of her death, thats just me. This really scares me as both my parents are 'up there' in age and when they go i will have little if any say in what happens. I think my older brothers will take care of all that and i have a feeling they will go along with what she wants. I really want mom to have her last wish fullfilled but its going to be soooo hard for me at least.

I dont want to see ashes and i want to see a grave site with flowers.

I really hope something works out for you all. I realy do.

 

[Russ]

Marsha, just let it go.It isn't worth fighting over it. I would trade you my relatives but that would be cruel. If I told you what happened in my family.....I kid you not you'd go screaming into the night. :no: At least she cares enough to make some type of arrangment.

Not flaming you for your feelings.....your entitled to have your feelings. Just saying be glad she did something to think ahead for arrangments.

Marty.......we all care about you alot.

: Think of you alot and smile at you......way over in Iowa

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