nootka
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2002
- Messages
- 7,547
- Reaction score
- 0
Ok, I might be on a bit of a rant, but does anyone else tend to have a few of these "black hole" type friends or acquaintances around them?
What I mean is the type of person that is likable enough, they can actually be fun to hang out with and talk to, and yet they can NEVER seem to say anything nice about someone. If something is said, they contradict it just because. It's almost like they don't LIKE you and yet they continue to come around or talk, etc. so that is a contradiction again.
They never offer comfort or ask how you're feeling, not even when prompted gently. Sometimes they even make mean remarks.
I really don't have a lot of time for these type of people and yet they show up here and there. Some are friends of friends and others are just online friends/acquaintances, etc. Still others are young and maybe don't know any better, but wow, even just a few of these people is zapping to the psyche.
I have to say that 99% of my friends, the people I love and need most, are NOT like this, they are the polar opposite. I myself try to be concerned and caring about others, and inquire to their well-being, their situations and pets, etc. whatever is important to them. We all get busy and distracted from time to time, I understand, but wow, what do you think is at the heart of this "black hole" (I use this analogy because Black Holes are notorious for sucking everything in, even the light around them, yet they don't give anything out, they are sort of a negative space) personality?
I have a theory about some of them, that they "hate" others for whatever reason, but in order to hate them better, they like to be around a person. Also there is a hatred for themselves that may be at the root of their selfish behavior.
Maybe they really don't want friends? Can they not see how negative and draining they are?
I do like a few of the people that I have in mind at this time relating to this, but most of them I've cut out of my life after a time. A few of them were relatives, too. Is it just me or do others encounter a percentage of these people?
What do you do about the ones you think have potential, yet continue to behave in this manner? Perhaps figure they aren't really suited to be YOUR friend and just move on...?
Maybe I'm thinking about this too much! I will say that most of my friendships are not hard to maintain, it is second nature and we all seem happy enough with how it is. I am a very loyal person and give a lot of myself to my friends, emotionally, the ones that have proven I can trust them, as I do have issues there thanks to my family.
Curious about others' observations!
Liz
What I mean is the type of person that is likable enough, they can actually be fun to hang out with and talk to, and yet they can NEVER seem to say anything nice about someone. If something is said, they contradict it just because. It's almost like they don't LIKE you and yet they continue to come around or talk, etc. so that is a contradiction again.
They never offer comfort or ask how you're feeling, not even when prompted gently. Sometimes they even make mean remarks.
I really don't have a lot of time for these type of people and yet they show up here and there. Some are friends of friends and others are just online friends/acquaintances, etc. Still others are young and maybe don't know any better, but wow, even just a few of these people is zapping to the psyche.
I have to say that 99% of my friends, the people I love and need most, are NOT like this, they are the polar opposite. I myself try to be concerned and caring about others, and inquire to their well-being, their situations and pets, etc. whatever is important to them. We all get busy and distracted from time to time, I understand, but wow, what do you think is at the heart of this "black hole" (I use this analogy because Black Holes are notorious for sucking everything in, even the light around them, yet they don't give anything out, they are sort of a negative space) personality?
I have a theory about some of them, that they "hate" others for whatever reason, but in order to hate them better, they like to be around a person. Also there is a hatred for themselves that may be at the root of their selfish behavior.
Maybe they really don't want friends? Can they not see how negative and draining they are?
I do like a few of the people that I have in mind at this time relating to this, but most of them I've cut out of my life after a time. A few of them were relatives, too. Is it just me or do others encounter a percentage of these people?
What do you do about the ones you think have potential, yet continue to behave in this manner? Perhaps figure they aren't really suited to be YOUR friend and just move on...?
Maybe I'm thinking about this too much! I will say that most of my friendships are not hard to maintain, it is second nature and we all seem happy enough with how it is. I am a very loyal person and give a lot of myself to my friends, emotionally, the ones that have proven I can trust them, as I do have issues there thanks to my family.
Curious about others' observations!
Liz