Whos right? My son or Me. Opinions please

[Bassett]

As many of you know my son is divorced and has the girls 50/50. This week I started taking Mandys breadkfast to her in bed. She loves it and feels very special. Rodney says don't get her used to it.

I say it isn't going to hurt her. She knows it won't happen at her mothers and it is easier to get her up and going and she LOVES it. It is just a special thing that I can do for her to make her feel loved and very, very special.

And she needs that. What do you think?

 

[Teedee]

Oh I couldn't wait to answer this one.

[SIZE=18pt]GRANDMA TRUMPS SON ANYDAY OF THE WEEK![/SIZE]

[SIZE=14pt]Every child should have someone in the their life that makes them feel special and loves them unconditionally![/SIZE]

[SIZE=14pt]You go girl from a fellow Grandma!

[/SIZE]

Tammi

 

[Bess Kelly]

Won't hurt her at all. Wouldn't do it every day she's there but, I don't see a problem with a special treat. I do it for my grdaughter sometimes. Maybe son would like equal treatment

Hey, haven't you had more yrs of parenting than him? Ask him if he thinks YOU did a good job.

 

[ruffian]

As a very experienced grandma - OK grandma since Friday!!

I say

[SIZE=36pt]YOU GO GRANDMA![/SIZE]

Maybe son could benefit from a BIB too!!

 

[ErikaS.]

I think maybe your son wants breakfast in bed, too!

I also think its nice to be able to do something special for your grandchildren. My mom would do the same for my son if she lived with us. I think you win this one.

 

[Pepipony]

I have to dissagree. While its wonderfull that you do this, make it really special by only doing it every once in a while. After all, HE is the parent not you, so his will trumps yours everytime.

How you would like it if he did something to your horses that you didnt want, but kept it up anyhow?

 

[~Lisa~]

If I am reading right it is something you do everyday? I do not think that is a good idea and would not be happy especially given the fact it is easier to get her out of bed and going that way. No matter how hard it is when sharing custody of kids it is always best to work together and try to make it as consistent as possible for the kids. If you are a normal part of their daily routine I do not agree with it. However if you are only seeing her once in a while (like my kids with their grandparents) then I say make it special and spoil away.

After saying that if you wanted to make it say a special Sunday morning tradition I think that would be great and something you can both look forward to and share.

 

[maplegum]

Even though I agree with your intentions, I do not agree that you should go against his wishes.

 

[Casnos Minis]

I'm coming from the "sons" point of view, I know I don't like it when my parents go against my wishes. We have a ice cream once a month rule, well...my parents buy it everytime the Schwan's man comes (every 2 weeks). They don't just buy 1 or 2 things of ice cream they buy 4-6 things of ice cream and then let the kids have it after school, after lunch, breakfast, dinner, even though we still tell them NO!!!!!! I understand you wanting to do something to make them feel special and I totally agree with that, but maybe not everyday. Maybe on the weekends only or once a month, you can do other things like play a game with them, read them special stories, stuff like that.

Christy

 

[AppyLover2]

Sorry Bonnie but I agree with those who said don't do it except as a special occasion. No matter how well intentioned you are, you're still doing something her Dad asked not be done. You certainly wouldn't want her to learn that Dad's wishes aren't important or that what he says can/should be ignored. Goodness knows.....she'll form that opinion on her own all too soon.

 

[REO]

As many of you know my son is divorced and has the girls 50/50.

Is there more than one girl and you only do it for one of them?

I agree with the special occasion thing too. Like one time per visit. You can still play games etc the rest of the time to make the visits fun and special.

Just being LOVED makes a child feel special.

 

[Jill]

You go, Bonnie!!! I think it's a very wonderful and loving thing you are doing

Hey, maybe your son just wants breakfast in bed, too

:BigGrin

 

[minimama]

I have to also back the opinion of making it special by only doing it on occasion. This is one reason my mother in law barely sees our children. She had no respect for us as parents and would not abide by our decisions for our children or how to raise them. She crossed us at every turn and made it impossible to visit her.

It is very sad too because she has missed out on them growing up and they have missed out on a Grandma. It certainly is not the way we have wanted it at all.