When will something good happen at our house? I'm done.

[dixie_belle]

I swear, I haven't had anything good happen here in so long I've forgotten what it feels like. First, I got breast cancer. OK, did all that treatment. Then grew a polyp which bled like crazy anytime I moved (due to the anti-cancer medication). OK, so I had that removed.

Then hubby had this bleeding thing and spent 5 days in the hospital.

Here's the latest: hubby has been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. Well, we live on 17 acres, it needs constant work, you know the mowing stuff and it isn't level so, in years past, he has spent hours on the tractor with the bush hog keeping everything mowed. Well, I can't drive that darn thing....it's just too big for me. He cannot physically do it anymore. And he isn't going to get any better.

So, the long and short of it is, we'll be putting our house up on the market at some point, probably soon. We'll need someplace smaller. If I can get a place with 5 flat acres - great. I should be able to keep that up. If not, well, hubby is more important than the horses so they will have to go.

Right now I'm just caught in a nightmare. What in the world am I going to do??? We have put our hearts into our place. The thought of looking for something else is so depressing.

And these next two months we are driving an hour and a half (one way) back and forth to all kinds of specialists for all sorts of testing.

Seems like the bad news just won't stop.

 

[Sonya]

Very sorry for all you both are going through. Hope you can find that perfect place that will work for you. Sending prayers and good thoughts.

 

[Marsha Cassada]

Oh my goodness! What a terrible diagnoses for him! What in the world!

You are smart folks to be planning ahead. I feel so bad for you.

 

[Kim P]

You have made a lifetime building your home. It is done. Now you and hubby get to sale and go on another wild and zany adventure together! So how long have the two of you been together?

 

[dixie_belle]

We've been married 12 years now. Time flies when you're having fun. LOL We retired 5 years ago and moved from Texas to Kentucky so we could have more land for my horses. Since then we've crosses fenced 5 acres of pasture, installed solar panels, built an underground apartment/storm shelter and generally made improvements to suit us. If our house gets sucked away by a tornado, we'll just go underground and live. (there is a two year supply of food and water down there). And we haven't had a utility bill for these past four years because of our solar panels. It will be difficult to start all over, but it's something we absolutely must do. I cannot maintain all of this by myself. We'll probably sell with all the long term food storage and all our tractors, etc. Silly to take all of that.

 

[bevann]

Is there any way you could sell off part of the land and keep just what you can maintain without hubby's help?I am facing similar issues here as I age.75 now and have major joint issues.I have found a buyer for the big portion of land of my farm but I keep 5 acres and lifetime rights to the house and barn.I can live downstairs and have someone live upstairs when Karl is gone.I'm sure you can figure out something that will work for you and hubby.Hang in there and explore some options.Look at what is there and maybe you can make it work without moving.If not I'm sure you will figure something that will work for both of you.

 

[7fluffyfriends]

I am sorry Dixie Belle. You have been through a lot of tough living.

Many on this forum can empathize with you for a variety of life changing reasons and you have raised an important topic.

How many of us really plan for getting older? Getting sick? Unemployed? etc. It is so easy to be totally caught up in the day to day needs, who has the time to contemplate the "what ifs"!

I think Kim P is right - when life changes we are headed for a new adventure - it's just that 'adventures' are not always fun or light-hearted.

You mention quilting and painting in your avatar.............picture someplace where you can indulge in these interests and talents with fewer interruptions! I bet your husband has some interests too that he may like to take time to investigate. As Bevann states, you will figure this out!

You and your husband aren't alone and you will find the help you need to see this through ...........

 

[stormy]

Is it possible for you to hire a bit of help .... with Parkinson's keeping moving is so important so the farm will actually be therapy ..... Lots of teens around here would love to hop on a tractor and mow .... I too am feeling age creeping in and getting harder to keep up, will be dispersing most of my horses but the farm I will never let go .....

 

[sundancer]

So sorry to hear of all your sad happenings. I wished I lived closer to help. I hope everything falls into place for you and your husband. Life seems to be unfair at times but here's hoping things will take a positive turn.

Take care

Julie

Victory Pass Stable

Maine

 

[REO]

I'm so sad to know this

I wish there was something I could do to help.

I wish there was a trailer or little house there for a man to live who would do the maintenance work in exchange for rent.

No matter what, I wish you both the best

 

[dixie_belle]

We had a real estate agent out today. Hubby needs to get rid of his race cars, his car parts and a ton of "man stuff" in the barn and garage before we can list. We are aiming for having it on the market by his birthday, May 28. We will sorta start looking for someplace else to live. We need one level - no stairs. And less land. MUCH less land. House is our most important deciding factor, so if we find the perfect house for his needs, and it has no land, so be it. I will have to get rid of my animals. Some of my horses came to live with us the day they were weaned. They don't know any other mom.

Right now I am in a state of denial. (And you thought I was in the state of Kentucky.)

We are selectively going thru closets and drawers and starting the process of downsizing. It is so very difficult though. And hubby feels so guilty. Hey, it is what it is. We'll do whatever is best for him.

 

[lucky seven]

Hope you find something suitable for both of your needs so that you can keep some of your pets and not worry so much.

 

[Kim P]

Dixie belle, you still have a great sense of humor! That always helps. It sounds as though the two of you have had an awesome 12 years! Your place sounds awesome. Sounds like you two are some pretty fun people to be around. Lots of hobbies. Hopefully you will get a good price on your place when you sale. Maybe look for something with enough land for a (small garden). Do some things that the two of you always talked about doing but never had the time or opportunity to do. I know I can't get away much bc of our 3 ponies. Go to the NASCAR races, if you haven't already. Life is still good. Hopefully hubby will stop feeling guilty and look forward to a new adventure. Feeling guilty is not good and could lead to depression. I know it has to be overwhelming. I believe that there are lots of prayer warriors on here. I remember my sister divorcing and leaving her two story that she had totally remodeled and loved. We live in a small, quite little town. She packed up and moved to Lewisville, Texas. She got a large two story apt. On the 2nd floor, in town! She loved it! It was hard at first for her. I think that you and hubby will figure it all out and be pleased with whatever you decide. Praying for you.

 

[7fluffyfriends]

I wish I were closer Dixie belle and could lend a practical hand.........fetching/toting/cleaning. Closets are the very devil sometimes - been going through ours for similar reasons to yours and it is amazing sometimes the stuff that shows up!

It was a relief to actually get rid of some items .............. now that I finally let go of that size 10 dress that i loved (decades ago), the pressure is off to actually be able to fit into it again

Blessings and prayers on your journey and Kim P is right - lots of folks wrapping you both in prayer!

 

[Silver City Heritage Farmstead]

Dixie_belle,

As others have said, I'll add you to the prayer lists here. You've been through so much the last few years, and I truly wish I could offer you a quick fix. You've remained so dignified and strong through some terribly difficult things, and it puts a whiner like me to shame. You're definetely someone I admire.

You put so much work and thought into building your place, it seems such a shame to have to let it go. I've enjoyed watching you develop you place, especially the making it an independent property. Are any of the options some of the above posters offered feasible for you? Did your realtor offer any options other than a straight up sale?

I'm sending you a pm. Some people might think it's silly to care about our forum friends. I don't post as frequently as I like, however, I read the boards every day. I care about what happens to all of us here. I offer what support I can. I believe in the power of prayer with all my heart and soul and that's why I put folks on the prayer list.

I'll pray for healing and understanding for your family, since "Why?!" happens in situations like this. I'll also pray that your husband's feelings of guilt go away. He doesn't need to be feeling that.

Here's a big cyber-hug {{{{{hhhuuuuuuggg}}}}.

Most respectfully yours,

Julie

Dragon's Wish Farm

 

[Debby - LB]

Shelley bless your heart I love your attitude! To get a diagnosis like that and have to give up all you have worked for for so long, especially after your own health problems, is just so heartbreaking. To hear you kick into fix it mode and start planning a new future is beyond amazing to me. What a inspiration you are!! I wish I were closer I would be so happy to help you. I hope you can find homes for your fur kids I know that will be so hard for you.

This is a whole new journey and I know you are tired but you have been so strong and I so admire you. At this point in your lives I think you and your husband can meet what ever comes along head on with grace and overcome whatever gets thrown at you. You are a very strong, compassionate woman just please focus on all the good in your life. I have been praying for you and will continue to do so.

May Gods hand help heal you body and soul

May your strength increase,

May your fears be released,

May blessings, love, and joy surround you.

In Jesus name Amen.

 

[lucky seven]

Debby, the like button for your comments. I wish I could help also, even adopt one of her fur kids.