We are moving,

[Casnos Minis]

We will be moving the last week of March. We are moving into my boss's apartment. It's a 3 bedroom, 2 full bath, hot water, heat included for $1100/month. It's 5 minutes from my work and 15 minutes from Tracy's work. So it is a win win that way. I will most likely stop working for my dad (good money, big headache!) Both Honey and Drew will go to my boss's barn for rough board. We can take all my dogs(3), but because we have 3 dogs I can't take the 2 kittens

. I nursed Oliver back to health (my brother brought him hone 1.2 starved and full o' fleas at 4weeks old) medium tiger and white, and Haley is a gorgeous jet balck long haired kitten. They are both the same age, and full of love and hijinx. But it's all good, mybrother will be moving in with his dog and girlfriend. They both work full time (30-40 hours a week), so they won't be home that much to have to out up with my dad's crap.

Rant: If we don't leave now I'll probably never want to speak to my parents again. That's how difficult it's getting around here. My kids can't have any friends over because my parents are always in bed and my dad refuses to get completley dressed. He says it's his house and he was nice enough to let us live there. Well if it wasn't for us they would have been living in their broken down van on the road, they would have lost everything. My mom keeps trying to raise the rent every time the gert something fixed or the taxes come in, ect. I give her $500 a month which is for 1/2 the electric. 1/2 the DTV, 1/2 the propane, the rest is for oil or pellets for the pellet stove, and $50 for the water bill and taxes(they come 2 times a year). She doesn't get that if I'm paying rent that is can't go upmeverytime something need tomge fixed beacuse they waist their money on cigarettes and tickets, and junk food. So it's for the best we move now.

I have never hated my parents, but right now I do. And I don't like that feeling and I don'tmwant my kids to stay feeling that way either (they already do feel that way somewhat).

Sorry it's so long.

Christy

 

[The Simple Life Farm]

Bless your heart. Sounds like it is the best decision for all. Good luck in this next chapter of your life. Hopefully your relationship will improve with your parents.

 

[Charley]

So glad to hear you are moving to a new home. Enjoy!

 

[Sonya]

Congrats on your new place, too bad about the kittens. I think it's terribly hard for adults to live with their parents, no matter what the situation. I think your relationships will improve greatly once you get into your new place.

 

[ruffian]

I'm confused - - - You are currently paying only $500 rent, which as I read it pretty much pays for everything, including DTV. Now you are moving into a place that is more than twice that amount, doesn't include DTV, and quitting your job. So where is this a win win?

I must be missing something. What time do your kids want to have friends over if your parents are "always" in bed? 9 pm? 10 PM? Midnight?? You don't say how old they are, but how rowdy are they? That can get wearing really quickly for folks who have already raised their kids.

Does your boss know you are bringing 3 dogs into his rental? Most places won't accept even one dog, but apparently your parents allowed 3 plus 2 kittens.

Hope you know what you are doing and what you are giving up because some rules and respect were required.

 

[Casnos Minis]

I'm confused - - - You are currently paying only $500 rent, which as I read it pretty much pays for everything, including DTV. Now you are moving into a place that is more than twice that amount, doesn't include DTV, and quitting your job. So where is this a win win?
I must be missing something. What time do your kids want to have friends over if your parents are "always" in bed? 9 pm? 10 PM? Midnight?? You don't say how old they are, but how rowdy are they? That can get wearing really quickly for folks who have already raised their kids.

Does your boss know you are bringing 3 dogs into his rental? Most places won't accept even one dog, but apparently your parents allowed 3 plus 2 kittens.

Hope you know what you are doing and what you are giving up because some rules and respect were required.

Yup, he knows I have 3 dogs and is fine with it. My parents are in bed pretty much all day long only up to eat and go to use the bathroom and smoke a cigarette. Yes e pay $500 for rent, but we also buy food, and she thinks that she can get money out of me for everyhting they can't afford or have to fix. My parents are 77 and 56. I'm only quiting the job of taking care of my dad, I'll still be working at my other job, which is going to be more hours anyways.

I'm sorry you don't think it's a win/win, but if you were in my situation with my parents you'd understand more.

Christy

 

[AppyLover2]

I personally think moving is the best for everyone concerned. There are very few homes big enough for 2 families.

 

[Shari]

Is why my parents live in another state.

Good for you, for moving out. Think you will be a lot happier. <Hugs>

 

[Taylor Jo]

Christy, I'm glad to hear your moving out. Your relationship with your parents can ONLY be improved upon by you moving on with your life. Don't get caught up in their drama and fight with them. Be respectful of them and don't argue, it's not going to do you any good anyway. You have your own idea's and your a grown women now. Get emotionally feed and your needs met by your husband, kids, friends etc. and NOT from your parents, it's a no win situation. Good luck to you and go and make this a "happy" home now is your chance to do things your guy's ways and not YOUR parents. TJ

 

[Casnos Minis]

Thanks everyone.

christy

 

[Casnos Minis]

I have a delema(sp?). How do I tell my parents. I am sick of their crap, but I don't want to hurt their feelings. I planned on just saying,"We found a place to move to, and we will be moving in for April 1st. Derek and Lauren will be moving in here to help you guys. I will also be working only 20 hours a week for dad as I'm going to be working more at my other job." "I'm sorry if you don't like this, but we need to do this for our family. I love you guys alot, but right now this isn't working for any of us and I don't like where our relationship is heading and I don't like how your relatinship with your grandkids is heading either." "Please don't be mad, I just can't be in this situation any more, thank you for the help, but now it's time we move on."

If you have any other suggestions let me know.

Thanks,

Christy

 

[minie812]

Christy...just say it like it is and be truthful with them. You have to do what you have to do and they should respect you for that...Good Luck

 

[Taylor Jo]

Christy, I think NO MATTER (from what you say) what you tell them their going to try and make you FEEL guilty so don't stress over it to much of what your going to say. My best advice is keep it simple. Less is more and the LESS talking you do the less they can ENGAGE you in a battle over this. Be SHORT and to the point, but be LOVING about it. Let them know you do care about them and you do worry about them and that you are like you said going to work for your dad and if they want to keep talking about it, just say, I've already told you that. Then go take a drive some place and let them chew on it. Give them their space so they can digest what you've told them. That's the best advice I can give you, treat them like you'd want to be treated and talked to. Christy, there's no need to feel guilty, your right you are doing what's best for your family. You said exactly what's right, but you have been made to feel guilty for having feelings that are normal to have. It's ok to stand up for yourself in a respectful way and take care of your family. You need to be out on your own and not living with your parents with your children, that's very stressful for you and your parents. Good luck to you and let us know how it goes. TJ

 

[Casnos Minis]

Thanks guys. I'll be telling them this week.

Christy

 

[Basketmiss]

Good for you all, it sounds like this will be best for all involved..

You shouldnt feel guilty for wanting to be an adult with your hubby and family.

I agree with TJ, keep it simple and the facts, you are moving out, your brother is moving in, you love them but this is best for your family. Dont get into a battle of wills with them, some people like to do that.

You are responsible for your journey in life as they are theirs. You have to do what is right for YOU..

People like to play the victim so they have an excuse to not look at their own behavior... If everyone would jsut truly see themselves and how they behave-this world would be so much nicer to live in. Everyone is so busy trying to blame someone else for their troubles, when we are each responsible for our ownselves.

Good luck

 

[My-Lil-Pony]

. If everyone would jsut truly see themselves and how they behave-this world would be so much nicer to live in.

My family was just discussing this exact same thing over the weekend, my mother always said to do just that!

 

[AppyLover2]

If I were your parents I certainly wouldn't be too happy about being told arrangements have been made (evidently without their input) that someone else is moving in. I think you're right to find your own place but think about how you'd feel if you were told that someone was moving in with you. You might want to suggest that Derek and Lauren move in with them but I certainly wouldn't tell them they're going to. It is, after all, their home and they should be the ones making a decision about who lives with them - or not.

 

[Casnos Minis]

If I were your parents I certainly wouldn't be too happy about being told arrangements have been made (evidently without their input) that someone else is moving in. I think you're right to find your own place but think about how you'd feel if you were told that someone was moving in with you. You might want to suggest that Derek and Lauren move in with them but I certainly wouldn't tell them they're going to. It is, after all, their home and they should be the ones making a decision about who lives with them - or not.

The only problem with that is they sometimes can't make their own decisions. They are going to play the we can't afford to live here without you, if I tell them Derek and Laruen are moving in and that they will still be getting rent from them then they should be okay. They like to say they can't afford their bills, as they spend at least $300 a monthe on cigarettes, and they only bring in $1000/month. Their other bills are high too especially thier electric bill becasue my dad wants all the the light on 24/7 along with their TV. Plus he has to have a breathing machine on all night and he has a nebulizer that he uses 4-8 times a day. So they will need to know that they are going to helped even though I'm not living here anymore.

Christy

 

[Miniv]

I have a delema(sp?). How do I tell my parents. I am sick of their crap, but I don't want to hurt their feelings. I planned on just saying,"We found a place to move to, and we will be moving in for April 1st. Derek and Lauren will be moving in here to help you guys. I will also be working only 20 hours a week for dad as I'm going to be working more at my other job." "I'm sorry if you don't like this, but we need to do this for our family. I love you guys alot, but right now this isn't working for any of us and I don't like where our relationship is heading and I don't like how your relatinship with your grandkids is heading either." "Please don't be mad, I just can't be in this situation any more, thank you for the help, but now it's time we move on."If you have any other suggestions let me know.

Thanks,

Christy

Why are you making so many excuses about your moving out? You may just be setting yourself up for them to grab hold on something and STILL make it difficult.

Perhaps just letting them know that an opportunity has come up for a new place to live....PERIOD. Let them know how much you have appreciated them having you stay there.....PERIOD. And then let them know that Derek and Lauren would be willing to move in and take your place, if they want....PERIOD. (Be careful how you word it, that's all.)

 

[Casnos Minis]

I have a delema(sp?). How do I tell my parents. I am sick of their crap, but I don't want to hurt their feelings. I planned on just saying,"We found a place to move to, and we will be moving in for April 1st. Derek and Lauren will be moving in here to help you guys. I will also be working only 20 hours a week for dad as I'm going to be working more at my other job." "I'm sorry if you don't like this, but we need to do this for our family. I love you guys alot, but right now this isn't working for any of us and I don't like where our relationship is heading and I don't like how your relatinship with your grandkids is heading either." "Please don't be mad, I just can't be in this situation any more, thank you for the help, but now it's time we move on."If you have any other suggestions let me know.

Thanks,

Christy

Why are you making so many excuses about your moving out? You may just be setting yourself up for them to grab hold on something and STILL make it difficult.

Perhaps just letting them know that an opportunity has come up for a new place to live....PERIOD. Let them know how much you have appreciated them having you stay there.....PERIOD. And then let them know that Derek and Lauren would be willing to move in and take your place, if they want....PERIOD. (Be careful how you word it, that's all.)

Thanks, I figured that I was saying too much. I thank you for your opinion.

Christy