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Time for a vacation, but I won't be rude

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Frankie

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It has come time for me to take a vacation from the forum. I am a lot of things, have a lot of faults, but rude is not one of them and there are many on here I wanted to let know, and not just dissappear.


There have been some things going on that I am not comfortable with. A lot of things seem to happen, I post often for help and suggestions and you guys have been so wonderful.

But got an email after my post on Prints choking about my "dramatics". I had never dealt with choke, so yeah maybe I was a little over excited. I did a thread to ask for nicer replies on giving ones opinion on a horse, got a not so nice email about how that thread was pointed at a particular person, they knew it, (and no it was not), and I should "respect them more for their experience instead of making them look bad." Put one of my colts up for sale, got an email from someone who obviously knows all there is to know about all horses and explained to me why the colt, "Is priced entirely too high!"

No, those people did not know what they were talking about, so yes, the real problem here is me, and I know that. People are going to do whatever it is they are going to do, that is about them. You know within yourself what is right or wrong, so when what others do starts to bother and affect you, it is then about you.

I have noticed I just really struggle with those who tell others how wrong they are, those who have to back up every response to a thread with how many national champions they own, yeah you have told us on many occassions. When indeed the most I listen to is those who lead by example. Without starting each thread with a pat on their own back.

Marty told me once I take things way too hard, I take responsibility when there is nothing I could have done. She helped me greatly in that department and she is right. I am trying to fix that even more, so need to seperate myself from some things, including the forum, for now. May all just be a combination of a ton of things.

Again, not here to get sympathy, or responses, just am not going to be rude and walk away.

I will indeed watch, read and learn. My horses need for me to do that, the forum has done great things for me and my horses. This is in NO WAY about the forum.

So, I need to get me worked out! Get over my save the world, have a nice world, type attitude.

I'll be hanging in the shadows. Logging off for now!

Hope to see many still out at shows!
 

minimama

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Oh Carolyn,

I am so sorry to see you leave, if only for a while. I truly value your posts! I know where you are coming from though as I have been told on more than one occasion that I should stop trying to save the world. Of course my response has always been, not the world, just my little corner! LOL I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to make the world a better place. Shoot, if we all did that think how nice a place it would be.


I will miss you and look forward to the day you return!! And, if there is anything I can do to be of help to you just let me know.Stacy
 

Buckskin gal

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I sure do understand your feelings. I too feel uncomfortable at times since I have joined this forum. No doubt there is some wondeful people who give good sound information and help. I have been reading the forum long before I ever joined and hesitated because I did see there are cliques here and there are some very harsh judgements of teenagers, in particular. I notice how some get nice responses on their posting of their horses while others get hardly any...guess it all depends on who you are, for I see no other reason. I have also noticed that some can get totally dramatic and they are cheered on while others get negative responses if they do the same. The posts on some teenagers have really troubled me because I think they try really hard to become good horse owners, enjoy them and need to be encouraged in every way because it is so much better than they getting into trouble, but instead they can be criticized for everything from their spelling to how they state something, to buying too many horses but maybe not having enough money for them etc etc etc. I ask, why are teenagers rudely responded to for so many things that even adults do? Even some adults will have to admit that they buy more horses than what is best and often have trouble paying for all the expenses that can be incurred. Some adults on this don't act any more mature than some teenagers, but how many get put down, like the teenagers? Judgements seem to come so quick while praise seems to come so slow......not only of some teenagers but of their horses. Some teenager may not even speak the English language well, but be judged for not speaking it well. What has happened to common courtesy to all people? Like Carolyn, I suppose this is about me also...I have a problem of feeling uncomfortable when all people are not treated equally. I too will continue to read posts which will help my horses but I think I have learned which ones to just pass by also. JMHO and asking is it possible that all people to be treated equally?
Mary

Frankie said:
It has come time for me to take a vacation from the forum. I am a lot of things, have a lot of faults, but rude is not one of them and there are many on here I wanted to let know, and not just dissappear. 
There have been some things going on that I am not comfortable with. A lot of things seem to happen, I post often for help and suggestions and you guys have been so wonderful.

But got an email after my post on Prints choking about my "dramatics". I had never dealt with choke, so yeah maybe I was a little over excited.    I did a thread to ask for nicer replies on giving ones opinion on a horse, got a not so nice email about how that thread was pointed at a particular person, they knew it, (and no it was not), and I should "respect them more for their experience instead of making them look bad."    Put one of my colts up for sale, got an email from someone who obviously knows all there is to know about all horses and explained to me why the colt, "Is priced entirely too high!"

No, those people did not know what they were talking about, so yes, the real problem here is me, and I know that. People are going to do whatever it is they are going to do, that is about them.  You know within yourself what is right or wrong, so when what others do starts to bother and affect you, it is then about you.

I have noticed I just really struggle with those who tell others how wrong they are, those who have to back up every response to a thread with how many national champions they own, yeah you have told us on many occassions. When indeed the most I listen to is those who lead by example. Without starting each thread with a pat on their own back.

Marty told me once I take things way too hard, I take responsibility when there is nothing I could have done. She helped me greatly in that department and she is right. I am trying to fix that even more, so need to seperate myself from some things, including the forum, for now.  May all just be a combination of a ton of things.

Again, not here to get sympathy, or responses, just am not going to be rude and walk away.

I will indeed watch, read and learn. My horses need for me to do that, the forum has done great things for me and my horses. This is in NO WAY about the forum.

So, I need to get me worked out!  Get over my save the world, have a nice world, type attitude.

I'll be hanging in the shadows. Logging off for now!

Hope to see many still out at shows!

427239[/snapback]

 

yankee_minis

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I am so sorry that you received-- what I call-- personal attacks off the forum.

It's just not right.

And if you were hurt or angered, I consider those normal reactions and VALID.

Sure, if you don't like being here, you have every right to "take a vacation."

But if you're leaving because someone else was being a jerk by attacking you off the forum, I am sorry. The wrong person is leaving.

Take care.
 

Marty

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Carolyn wait.

I hate it that you are feeling so hurt and have been mistreated.

You deal with a lot of sick or injured animals just the way I do, I panic. There is nothing wrong with that. It's very hard to remain calm when you are the one right there having to go through it. It's because you love them so much.

Marty told me once I take things way too hard, I take responsibility when there is nothing I could have done.

Yes that is right. Don't ever blame yourself. You gotta stop that. A lot of people want to blame themselves for a injury or illness but if they have been into horses for a million years, they would realize that horses easily get into trouble just as any child would and that we cannot baby sit them 24-7. You cannot be that hard on yourself, and how dare anyone try to make you feel that bad.

But got an email after my post on Prints choking about my "dramatics".

I'd be dramitic too if I thought my horse was dying in front of me. Some people are heartless. When you get emails like that, don't take them to heart......take them to the delete button.

Leese said it right to me one time when I was getting bashed: she said to me to just let it roll off like water off a duck's back and she was so very right.

those who have to back up every response to a thread with how many national champions they own, yeah you have told us on many occassions.

Totally fed up with it too. I find it repulsive that we have to be reminded of it day in and day out. I just want to say "ok ok I got it, I know you have champions, but enough already." Not to be confused with bragging rights when returning from a show because I love to hear the excitment and placings and all of it. And oh I do so admire the showers. They work so darn hard they deserve to come here and explode and let us celebrate and revel in their joy.

I was very upset yestarday when Lisa did not want to post Raven's show results because someone last week had made the comment of the "show people" taking over the forum. Well that was not right. She worked so hard and Raven I thought it was terrible that she felt that she could not post her results.

And while we are on the subject, it's also my opinion that you do not need to show and campaign a nice stallion to stand him or to breed him. There are many success stories of people that do not show, and I hope she doesn't mind me nameing her here, but Debi M of Seven Acres is not a die hard show person just to name one and she is someone that I do so admire and completely respect and runs a top notch breeding farm with top notch mares and amazing foals and has no trouble selling her horses. And she is one person that has earned the right to brag but never does because she is a class act.

yes, the real problem here is me, and I know that.

No you are wrong Carolyn. It is not you.

You have become one of the very "lighthearted mainstays" here on the forum. Yes you seem to get yourself in trouble on occasion but not anymore than anyone else would be brave enough to admit.

Put one of my colts up for sale, got an email from someone who obviously knows all there is to know about all horses and explained to me why the colt, "Is priced entirely too high!"

Unless you asked for thier opinion, that comes under the heading of "what business is it of yours?"

Carolyn, 99 % of the people here are so nice and so decent. I love these people. You can't let a couple that is full of themselves drive you off with their nasty emails. Hey, I don't have any show results that I can brag about, but people here are still nice and humor me anyhow! I get tons of good help here and so do you.

I also try to help out best I can. You do too. The way I do that is to offer "critize" a little bit, but not in a way to belittle, I would hope not, but then to add my idea of a possible solution to their problem. I call that constructive critisim.

Carolyn if you want to take a little vacation ok then but not for long. But what am I supposed to do without you when everyone goes to the Nationals and the rest of us stay home and go on our anual ROAD TRIP on the BACK PORCH without you????? You're the only one that ran into an alligator!

You are a handful lady to do this first thing on a Monday morning.

Love ya Carolyn.
 
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Miniv

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Carolyn,

I really do think this Forum is much like a family.....a family with many of the same interests and one particular focus and PASSION. Unfortunately when you put family and get intense feelings it gets kind of goofy sometimes.

Taking a break from family is sometimes a good thing, as long as you stay in touch and don't stay away too long.......okay?

Take care,

MA
 

midnight star stables

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Well Said! Wow, I feel like that is me! : rolleyes: yes I too believe some people can get pretty nasty.. Just imagine if you were that person, & people said that your horse was ugly, or you were not worthy etc.. Now there are some very nice people, & people who tell their honest opinions in a nice way.. But there are others who are mean & try to hurt.. I don't see why, what is so good about making a person feel bad about their horse or their own self worth..?
Buckskin gal & Frankie, I understand what your saying & I really wish people would, not necessarily change, just put them selves in the persons shoes that they may be hurting... its not always a happy place.

Buckskin gal said:
I sure do understand your feelings. I too feel uncomfortable at times since I have joined this forum. No doubt there is some wondeful people who give good sound information and help. I have been reading the forum long before I ever joined and hesitated because I did see there are cliques here and  there are some very harsh judgements of teenagers, in particular. I notice how some get nice responses on their posting of their horses while others get hardly any...guess it all depends on who you are, for I see no other reason. I have also noticed that some can get totally dramatic and they are cheered on while others get negative responses if they do the same. The posts on some teenagers have really troubled me because I think they try really hard to become good horse owners, enjoy them and need to be encouraged in every way because it is so much better than they getting into trouble, but instead they can be criticized for everything from their spelling to how they state something, to buying too many horses but maybe not having enough money for them etc etc etc. I ask, why are teenagers rudely responded to for so many things that even adults do? Even some adults will have to admit that they buy more horses than what is best and often have trouble paying for all the expenses that can be incurred. Some adults on this don't act any more mature than some teenagers, but how many get put down, like the teenagers? Judgements seem to come so quick while praise seems to come so slow......not only of some teenagers but of their horses. Some teenager may not even speak the English language well, but be judged for not speaking it well. What has happened to common courtesy to all people? Like Carolyn, I suppose this is about me also...I have a problem of feeling uncomfortable when all people are not treated equally. I too will continue to read posts which will help my horses but I think I have learned which ones to just pass by also. JMHO and asking is it possible that all people to be treated equally? 
Mary





Frankie said:
It has come time for me to take a vacation from the forum. I am a lot of things, have a lot of faults, but rude is not one of them and there are many on here I wanted to let know, and not just dissappear. 
There have been some things going on that I am not comfortable with. A lot of things seem to happen, I post often for help and suggestions and you guys have been so wonderful.

But got an email after my post on Prints choking about my "dramatics". I had never dealt with choke, so yeah maybe I was a little over excited.    I did a thread to ask for nicer replies on giving ones opinion on a horse, got a not so nice email about how that thread was pointed at a particular person, they knew it, (and no it was not), and I should "respect them more for their experience instead of making them look bad."     Put one of my colts up for sale, got an email from someone who obviously knows all there is to know about all horses and explained to me why the colt, "Is priced entirely too high!"

No, those people did not know what they were talking about, so yes, the real problem here is me, and I know that. People are going to do whatever it is they are going to do, that is about them.  You know within yourself what is right or wrong, so when what others do starts to bother and affect you, it is then about you.

I have noticed I just really struggle with those who tell others how wrong they are, those who have to back up every response to a thread with how many national champions they own, yeah you have told us on many occassions. When indeed the most I listen to is those who lead by example. Without starting each thread with a pat on their own back.

Marty told me once I take things way too hard, I take responsibility when there is nothing I could have done. She helped me greatly in that department and she is right. I am trying to fix that even more, so need to seperate myself from some things, including the forum, for now.  May all just be a combination of a ton of things.

Again, not here to get sympathy, or responses, just am not going to be rude and walk away.

I will indeed watch, read and learn. My horses need for me to do that, the forum has done great things for me and my horses. This is in NO WAY about the forum.

So, I need to get me worked out!  Get over my save the world, have a nice world, type attitude.

I'll be hanging in the shadows. Logging off for now!

Hope to see many still out at shows!

427239[/snapback]

427269[/snapback]

 

hhpminis

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Sorry Carolyn,

We do all have passion as MaryAnn stated and we all have our own little ways of doing things. It is nice to be able to share that without feeling hesitant to share what has worked for us in the past. Sometimes these things may be totally out of the box, but if they have worked for us, why not let others know about it, and for peets sake people, take it as that. Pick and choose, if you like what you read, try it, if you dont, put it in the memory banks for another time that maybe it will be handy.

I personally always look forward to your posts and hope your vacation will not be long as we will miss you.

Take care
 

rabbitsfizz

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I should hate to see you go, Carolyn, try not to let yourself be driven off. I was the one who started the "please use the spellcheck" thing, but merely because I could not read the post, and I wanted to!!! Gosh, when it comes to spelling I'm no good, that's exactly why I use spellcheck, and Lisa is HOPELESS (Ducking, coz she'll stick up for herself
) BUT I can understand what is being said, I really could not understand what was being said on the other post. It has nothing to do with language, when I speak/write French or Spanish my grammar is appalling, but my spelling is not!! I think sometimes we get carried away, but all anyone has to do is not reply!! Anyway, you HAVE to keep us up to date with Prints because she's OURS not really yours, you just get all the hard work involved.
Please stay. Jane.
 

ChrystalPaths

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Carolyn, I have never met you but I feel much closer to you this year having gone through all of your trials and tribulations WITH you... "HERE!" I am one who is thin skinned and sometimes hesitate to post as I don't wish to be chastised but helped. Don't punish us and yourself by staying away.

There should be some way that those who get TOO personal and assault verbally can be chastized by MaryLou or another moderator. We're a forum, a family.

If your (meaning anyone) opinion wasn't asked for shut the heck up. We're all trying to do the best we can each and every day with our beloved minis, and ponies and horses.

Darn it folks, I've had about enough of people hurting feelings with no regard for the consequenses. I'll say it one more time people, this sort of thing ticks me off and it takes alot to do that. ANYONE who intentionally hurts someone's feelings should be ashamed.

IF YOU CAN'T SAY SOMETHING NICE....SHUT UP!!!

Speaking of Prints...we're way over due for an update on the Forum Poster Child.


I'm so upset by this...doggone it....to darn often....
 
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AS IF BY MAGIC

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i have not been a member long, but i have been visiting for a while...

the forum is like people you will meet anywhere some you'll like, others you won't care for. But you just got to get on with it. Stick with those that love ya !

It's horrible to feel victimised over a subject your passionate about.. I don't know what you guys go on about nationals/regionals personal trainers !

We do it all ourselves here !

p.s Jane is always on at me to do spelling check !

Lil x
 

Frankie

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Before anyone gets carried away, I am NOT thin skinned!

I am bigged mouth!

Before I tell a few people what I really think, and Mary Lou hangs me at the nearest tree, I better walk away, and SHUT UP! I know when I am close to the point of just, letting go. And even though it may be somewhat deserved, it is not appropriate and I know that.

I can pick and choose what I read on the forum, don't always see it coming in personal emails though.

So, I have banned myself, and it IS the right thing.

I really better shut up now!
 

CKC

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I have always tried to be very careful which posts I reply or what posts I start. I don't know why I care. I shouldn't let people bother me. I feel exactly like you do.

A while back I put my trailer up for sale. A got quite a few nice responses, but got one that just blew me away. I had someone tell me my trailer was priced way to high and that so and so was priced at....... Oh did I ever get mad and thought how will I respond to this nosey body. I decided to be the better person and responded with a this is why my trailer is priced this way...


You know what's funny.... My trailer wasn't priced too high and those great prices in the magazine... if you were to add all of the "extras" that price wasn't so great after all.

P.S. that trailer sold to an awesome forum member.

So everything works out and it took some time, but those negative comments were trashed and to be honest I don't even know who sent it. I deleted that e-mail pretty quickly.

Carolyn, please come back soon.

Kim
 

capall beag

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Well you know best, so do what works for you!

I have to say I was going to write a reply and then read the reply by AS IF BY MAGIC and just need to agree!!

It is like when you go to a party and get stuck talking to someone who is NOT your type and they are driving you crazy and you need to get away!! We all have a common interest BUT we have very different opinions on what is right and wrong when it comes to our minis!

I think some people are out to lunch on the forum and I am sure they feel the same about me but there are many that I think are just a brilliant wealth of info and awfully nice too!


I feel badly for you that it has got to this point!!
 

justaboutgeese

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Of course there are people here that will not always agree with the way we think and act. If anybody was so offended by your post or threads they were certainly under no obligation to read them and definatly not required to PM or e-mail you regarding them. You are definatly under no obligation to feel responsible for their actions or thoughts. If its come to the point where long standing members of the forum are reluctant to post their current winnings for fear of ridicule the people who have a problem with it should be the ones taking a sabatical. A person e-mailing you over a horse for sale needs only not to buy it and let it go. Just remember the real world is like a bowl of granola, what ain`t fruit and nuts is flakes.
 

Hosscrazy

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Carolyn - I've been on the forum for 8 years (???) and also took a break at one point. I respect your decision to take a "vacation", but just had to reply to your post.

As we ALL know, there are some mind-numbing discussions going on here, and personal emails that are not even worth the time to double-click and read.

I personally enjoy your posts, and enjoy reading what you have to say. I hate to see seasoned, experienced people leave, leaving us with those circular "I'll ask for advice, but I know I'm right anyway" posts, which get really old, really fast.

I look forward to your return.

Best,

Liz R.
 

Kippy

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Carolyn

I always look forward to your posts and read them all. You are one of the positive people who I look forward to hearing from. Dimimore is another one whose posts I always read and appreciate. I also really like the posts from people like Lisa - Ruff-n-Tuff who seems to always bring up interesting things to ponder and Rabbitfizz for her passion and experience. People who are willing to share their knowledge without making us feel stupid for not knowing something already. Or wrong for disagreeing. Or just bothering to answer a question when nobody else seems to want to bother. There are several more who are such a positive influence and always seem to share good information, humorous stories and touching things too. In short, a true mix of what it is like to own and love horses. Good and bad. Sometimes we are up and things are going well with our horses and sometimes it seems like we can't catch a break. We don't have to agree on everything, we just need to show respect.

I don't really show, just club shows for fun, but I love to see how things go at the shows and like to see the pictures of the show horses. I also love to see the fuzzy babies that are busy at their job of loving and being loved. Enjoy it all - as I imagine most people here do. There is room for all. Right?

I have cringed at some posts and sometimes people can surely seem nasty and judgmental. It is a shame, but I hope you don't let it keep you away for long. I know what you mean about stepping away before you say something you will regret. I'm like that too. Sometimes it's just better to let things sit a while.

Please come back soon (how about tomorrow?
)

AND please don't stop giving us news about Prints. I love to hear about that little spitfire. What a brave little girl.

Cheryl

"Ironically, I reread my post and what jumped out? Incorrect spelling and punctuation. I'll never re-read a post of mine again. LOL"
 
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Kippy

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justaboutgeese said:
Of course there are people here that will not always agree with the way we think and act.  If anybody was so offended by your post or threads they were certainly under no obligation to read them and definatly not required to PM or e-mail you regarding them.  You are definatly under no obligation to feel responsible for their actions or thoughts.    If its come to the point where long standing members of the forum are reluctant to post their current winnings for fear of ridicule the people who have a problem with it should be the ones taking a sabatical.  A person e-mailing you over a horse for sale needs only not to buy it and let it go.  Just remember the real world is like a bowl of granola, what ain`t fruit and nuts is flakes.
427367[/snapback]

Well said!


Cheryl
 

ChrystalPaths

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Cheryl, that was so very nicely said and I for one thank you.

Vic...if you weren't married and I weren't married I'd love you! Granola! I love it and so true thanks for lightening my mood. I luv you anyways, your wife is a lucky lady.
 

Magic

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Carolyn, I hope you enjoy your "vacation", I will miss your posts but I understand that you need a break, and it was nice of you to let us know so we wouldn't worry about you.

I hope you will be back soon, and in a frame of mind to deal with those nosy rude busybodies.
 

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