So whats the meanest thing someone has said to you? I think I have a winner here!!

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jacks'thunder

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So this weekend my mother in law and I decided to do our first craft show. It was good, not sure how they usually go but we did ok for 2 days. Yesterday my MIL's mother came to visit. She told me that I was " unrecognizably fat" and that if she saw me on the street she would not know who I was. I said well thank you that is wonderful to hear! Then she tried to back peddle and get out of what she said.

It's always lovely to know people think your fat! I'm kinda distraught. I'm not sure if there is anything meaner to say to a lady( well maybe your fat and ugly!
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That would be worse! LOL!). I feel like I have been punched in the gut... so I came home drank 3 beers and cried and cried. So now I have a headache, feel like poo, and still keep tearing up.

Now lets see, to make this week "the worst week ever" for fear, I'd have to break down a bazillion miles from home, CHECK, I'd have to be called fat in public, CHECK, Fall off a tall building(or have it fall on me), Umm not yet, and be attacked by spiders and or zombies, not yet either!! LOL!

No in all seriously I'm hurt! That's really mean!

Oh yeah, I also had a nightmare last night that I was in my bathing suit and no one would let me change out of it!!! Cheese and rice man!! That was bad!! LOL!!
 
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Jill

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Urgh! I can't think right now exactly what's been the worst thing someone's said to me, but one time a co-worker told my sister sister it looked like she'd gained weight, or something along those lines. She was offended but remarked "thanks for noticing" which I thought was pretty good for off the cuff.

Another thing... I heard someone once say something like if someone says or asks something rude you can say "if you can forgive me for not answering (or responding), I can forgive you for asking (or making that comment)."

Never know what agendas others have, and women can be SO CATTY.

HUGS!
 

jacks'thunder

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Thanks Jill

I think now of all the " I could have/should have said" things but I just wasn't fast enough, it caught me so off guard.
 

Riverrose28

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Oh my goodness, how awful! Some people can be so darn hateful! I can't think of a thing now, but I'm sure there must be some buried back in my memory. I do know one person that is just hateful and I'm glad I only need to deal with her at weddings and funerals and that she lives in another state. She doesn't mess with me, cause she knows I'll get her back, I almost jumped on her after my duaghters funeral when she disrespected my grandsons cat, but I only yelled at her, it wasn't the time or the place. Even her son, my son-in-law calls her the wicked witch.
 

bevann

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I have a younger sister who is just downright mean.No one in the family will have anything to do with her.She is not even welcome in her 2 daughters homes at holiday dinners.She is almost 70 and will NEVER change.Several years ago my son moved back home after living many years in CA.His best friend is Mexican and friends mother helped raise my grandson.At the Thanksgiving dinner at my son's house his extended Mexican family were all there.My sister walks in and says"I should have worn my sombrero" She is just MEAN STUPID and THOUGHTLESS.She has said so many mean things to me in the past 20 years that are too numerous to list.If my brother and or I die before she does she is banned from the funeral services.All family members have given her so many chances to act nice(lasts for less than 1 week)and she is back being major MEAN again.I have not seen or spoken to her in over 2 years-works for me.Her daughter sent her a birthday card and she replied with a nasty e mail(You just wasted $4-should have saved your money)I sometimes feel sorry for her, but I just move on.She sees nothing wrong with her bad behavior.It is always the fault of someone else.
 
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Debby - LB

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OMG that was terrible! I know that would have really hurt my feelings to the point of crying and drinking too! Being she is your mother in laws mother is she really old? have you been around her before... I mean is she always normally speaking like that? I ask because some people, especially someone who has had a head injury or a stroke sometime it alters the part of the brain that censors speech.

I learned this when I had a severe brain injury when I was 12-13 and I slightly have that. I remember my Grandmom explaining this to me when the Golden Girls was on TV...remember Sofia? she had that and my Grandmom told me this is what you have to control, see the things she says that are inappropriate? just because you think it you can't say it. I may be a what comes up comes out person but I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings to this day. ...well unless they make me really mad (which is hard to do) then I'd tell them what I thought lol! I'm sorry she hurt your feelings like that, since I'm really fat I know how uncomfortable that made you feel.
 

Carolyn R

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My Grandmother was a pretty nasty person. She is the one I have mentioned in previous posts that we cared for her for the last 4.5 years of her life. She passed at 98.5 years old. We loved her in spite of herself and did what we could to make her comfortable in her last years. Among the things she said or did.....was known to say very loudly in a store when seeing a larger than normal individual " my oh my, did you see how fat that person was? How can someone ever let themselves get that big? " she picked on our weight when we were kids, would treat us like stray cats if we walked over to her house. She would tell my grandfather "send them home, don't be feeding them", she would call people with dark skin foul names and when they would come from the city to vacation at a Christian retreat near us, she would say, "boy oh boy, where do they all come from." we always corrected her and would even tell her "you are sicilian, sicily was a port city with many nationalities, italian, spanish, arabic, african.....why do you think some sicillians have such a dark olive skin tone?" she never liked hearing that! My mother inherited that skin tone, and as a child, my grandmother would make her stay out of the sun for fear of her getting even darker!

We would take her to lunch when I was in high school and she would tell us she was leaving a tip, and leave 25 cents, which we would hurriedly replace with several dollars, she would come into the house when we were kids and say, "how can you stand it, it smell like dogs in here, don't you smell it?"

It was never ending, my grandfather was the saint in the marriage but passed years before her. As I said, we did right by her in the end and just accepted that was who she was. The last two years she barely spoke, dementia and alshiemers was too advanced, but prior to that she did her fair share of ridiculing my children, her great grandkids. We told them many many times, please just grant her some grace. Sometimes it is more about doing what is right rather than taking the senseless but hurtful comments to heart.
 
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laughingllama75

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That is really crummy.
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I had an Aunt say to me (as I went to stand on her chair, put hang HER hummingbird feeder up) "Those chairs weren't meant for people YOUR size". I almost fell off said chair......then said "well, I am built just like you, only 2 feet taller". Needless to say....she got the point. I did receive an apology, about 3 months later.

I hope your mean MIL comes to her senses and gives you an apology too. I dont know where people get off, thinking it's OK to voice their opinion on how others look. Rude, and mean spirited.
 

vickie gee

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Oh my. Please stay away from tall buildings until you get past this.

I could probably make a top 10 list of the most mean things ever said to me but I don't want to open up any old wounds.

The elderly sometimes do have a habit of blurting out whatever thought is going through their head. My brother has been embarrassed so many times by my dad blurting out comments about people they see in public. He is always having to tell my dad that the room full of people at the doctor's office are not deaf, so please just BE QUIET.

My father-in-law is a classic case but maybe it is not 100% age related. Once we took the in-laws to a restaurant and our waitress was not out of ear shot range when he asked us "if she was pregnant or just fat?" I wanted to be invisible. Once in public he asked us if a small child near us "was retarded?" The child's family was sitting nearby. My husband said he almost said "I don't know Pop, but I am fairly certain YOU are." It would have been fine with me if he had given him what for.

Sending you a hug {{ }}. Try making lemonade out of lemons is what I say. If you have been reading my thread on the diet and nutrition forum you know that a mean comment is what made me ticked off enough to start eating healthy. I should probably thank the dude that hurt my feelings.
 

Marsha Cassada

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On the topic of weight--my farmer neighbor looked at my miniature horse Dapper Dan once and commented that he was about ready to butcher.

Needless to way, I was not amused by his humor.
 

romewhip

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That's just wicked. Maybe she thinks it'll shame you into losing weight, as if you could just snap your fingers and twirls three times and it'll melt off.

I had someone ask me when I was due, granted I'm fat but since I can't have children it double hurt.
 

shorthorsemom

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Sounds like the lady in that movie "only the lonely" starring John Candy.

hmmm, I had a co worker that told me I needed a boob lift that they were "hanging to my waist". I wanted to say to her "well at least I have boobs" cause she was really thin. but I didn't. I did go on weight watchers after that and buy a new bra, but it did really tick me off at the time that she made me feel bad about myself.

My mom once said in front of her church ladies when I was in my mid 20s "Maybe if we could get her out of jeans we could find her a husband" .. My comment was "maybe I will marry a guy who enjoys wearing jeans".

I am happily married to a dairy farmer now and he loves me just the way I am.

You can't control what comes out of folks mouth. My mom is famous for her odd lines and pointing out weight and talking about who needs to lose some. We just ignore it and roll our eyes and talk about her to eachother for support.

I think thats why I have so many critters. They are always glad to see you, don't mind how you look, they are only your happy critics in life and greet you like you have been gone for hours when you only go outside to get the mail.

Critters are good for the soul. Take care, find your happy place and blow her off, her comment isn't worth the time of day.
 

Tab

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Wow, I tell you what, some people cannot stand that there are others that are prettier, younger , happier , or more talented than they. These angry useless people see joy and want to squash it. Consider the source , but I'd confront her in a message and tell her off! Don't let her get away with it. She will quickly forget it but her words will poison you unless you let it be known that you will not tolerate abuse. I was always nice no matter what nasty things people would say. They knew I didn't stick up for myself so I was an easy target. I would stew from the abuse long after the abuser forgot and it manifested in health problems. Don't let this do that to you! I'm getting better at defending myself. Too bad it took 30 years, two kids, and a 9 lb tumor to get scary! (Not bitter just scary lol)
 

Field-of-Dreams

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I hardly EVER leave my house. And it's because of people such as those. I hide in my house rather than have people like that near me.

Gee, they must think they're so perfect.

Me? I'd rather be fat than be an A_ _ h _ _ _ .
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{{{hugs}}}
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This^^^^. I never go to the mall, and typically only got to WM or the grocery store way early in the morning.
 

Jill

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Shoot, I never go to the mall because I'm simply too lazy and too impatient to deal with other shoppers! I can find EVERYTHING I want online when it comes to most things w/o dealing with a mall. Haven't been to one in at least 15 years!!!
 

jacks'thunder

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First and for most I want to say thanks for the support and sharing your stories, it means a lot to me.

Now to answer a few question, The players in the story are me, my MIL, Grand ma great( the women who said the mean things), MIL sister, and my mom.

Now grand ma great said this stuff in front of my mom, me, and MIL sister. My MIL was not present at the time and has sense ripped sister and grand ma a new one. Grand ma has denied everything and said she would never say such a thing and asked why MIL was taking my side. It's not about sides, what she said was hurtful and rude and 2 other people heard her say it. When questioned "sister" said it was a compliment and that I'm making a big deal out of nothing.(Ahhh no thanks, You can keep your scaring words to your self!! if that was a compliment I'd hate to hear a put down!!) My mom was floored and had she not been hit with evil grandmas words just minutes before she would have stood up for me. ( come to find out evil grand ma told my mom she looked so old, and so much different with her saggy face) I'm hurt beyond words. My mom was only there to give me a hand and watch our booth while I took pictures of the parade. And she gets hammered by mean things too... I'm done with these people. DONE DONE DONE!!!

No I don't see these mean people often. I think the last time was around 5-7 yrs ago. I don't function well at large gatherings so I avoid them like a bad cold. My hubby was furious at evil grand ma and walked right next store to yell at his mom about it. She completely understood how I felt and has felt the same thing by her mothers tongue. Evil grand ma always tries to get MIL to go on weight watcher, or some other diet, so I would assume this has always been an evil part of her. She has always been mean from what hubby and MIL/FIL have said, so I have always kept my distance.

Um I have to admit, it's going to be hard not to let this effect me. I feel really bad about the way I look. What a nasty women to hurt someone and then say she would never said something like that. Stupid stupid women. Come to find out not one of her grand children will come to visit her, and even her children have a tough time.
 
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jacks'thunder

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Oh, and I can't forget the old aunt that would get her hands on your back and chest and then ask "are you wearing a bra yet?"
Yuck!!!

And just to let you know I did stay away from tall buildings, so nothing fell on me or me from it!!!!!!
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So far so good!!!
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