vickie gee
Well-Known Member
I really don't know where to begin...
So here goes. I have known my friend J since elementary school. We used to have our slumber parties at her mother's employer's cabin. In high school we remained friends but were in different social circles. Neither of us ran with the goodie two shoes. I can't really classify myself...one might say I was an honor student, reble behind the scenes dating guys from other schools and after dates hanging with my brother and sister's crowds who were older than me. One might say I was an Eddie Haskell guy kind of gal. One teacher would have me grading everybody else's essay questions and babysitting her kids while another who was my cheerleader sponsor was on to me and busted me at every antic I pulled. Now J ran with the thugs. She got pregnant in high school, got married, had a baby that died in infancy. His intestines were outside his body and he had no immunities. She had two other children (a daughter and a son) by this marriage, which ended in divorce and he (the ex-husband) is now deceased and oh by the way was the neighbor whose parents lived in front of me. This is worse than a bad soap opera I know. Ok, fast forward past the episodes in both our lives to thirty-something years later and we find ourselves working in the same office. J is an alcoholic and her son is a POS leach and they are living with her mom who has dementia. It is literally a circus. She is a cat with more than 9 lives. When I moved back to the area in 2005 and hired back in to a former employer J was under all kinds of letters of instruction from the employer. She had all kinds of legal problems and financial problems. Let me say right now that sober she is the sweetest person you will ever meet. That being said, between the DUI's, getting in a physical altercation with a cop (he had her down on the sidewalk beating the H out of her), shooting a would-be break in ex-boyfriend in the leg, and the work managers trying to terminate her she really held her own. About seven or so years ago she was going to by fired if she missed a day or even came in late. The only reason the courts had given her lee-way on all the DUI's was that she was her mom's primary caregiver. So one morning mid July she calls me crying and babbling all sorts of incoherent blurps. I caught something that sounded like "gonna die" and asked her if I needed to call 911. She said no. Our towns are 35 minutes apart. I called in emergency leave to work and rushed out there. Describing the situation is difficult. Her air conditioning has been out for a week, the floor is covered in pee pads for all the dogs and cats she and her mom were homing. The floor as well as all the pads were covered in pee and poop. Her mom can't remember me but wants to chit chat jibberish to me. There is a big dead swelled up dead dog in the pen in her back yard. Her POS son acting useless as the T's on a boar hog and his adolescent girlfriend just wants to help. J is weak as a new kitten and there are empty half gallon bottles of vodka on, behind, and beside every stick of furniture. I tell the kiddie girlfriend to run the bathtub full of tepid water, strip J down, and put her in the tub for 20 minutes, dress her, dress the POS son down on how that dead dog better be removed when I get back from the doctor's office where I am taking her and if not he will have to deal with me and it ain't gonna be pretty, and literally carry her to the doctor's office. I end up taking her to eat pizza and she has a doctor's statement that will save her. I got my son to go fix her air conditioning. He says never ever again in a million years. I struggle to remember everything that happened since. She rented out her own home to a co-worker that cleaned it up. Her mom went into a nursing home, died between some of J's incarceration trips to county. There were numerous. Her mom's home gets foreclosed. She moves back into her own home which is now basically in the hood but used to be a nice neighborhood. Her POS son and his latest venomous girlfriend call the cops one night and have her picked up on yet another DUI. She undergoes more pressure at work for being AWOL. Last straw one night she leaves her home (drinking, of course) and rear ends someone at a stop sign. Around the first of this year she was forced into retirement since she knew she was about to face convictions. She was forced into retirement with very little money (FERS). She has spent the last 7 or so months in a women's recovery unit. None of us former friends and co-workers have been in touch with her. Recently I spoke to a lady involved in prison ministry and she tells me she is doing well. I sure hope so. I had a friend that does transport for prisoners check on her last week and she also tells me she is doing well. She has one more phase to serve before they find her a job on the outside and provide transport to and from it. She requested that I write to her. I did this week. I'm told she wants to put me on a visitation list. Of course, I will go but admittingly I am afraid. I cannot even put into words the types of fear this envokes in me. Those of you who pray please do so. I want to show her love but I don't want to be an enabler.
So here goes. I have known my friend J since elementary school. We used to have our slumber parties at her mother's employer's cabin. In high school we remained friends but were in different social circles. Neither of us ran with the goodie two shoes. I can't really classify myself...one might say I was an honor student, reble behind the scenes dating guys from other schools and after dates hanging with my brother and sister's crowds who were older than me. One might say I was an Eddie Haskell guy kind of gal. One teacher would have me grading everybody else's essay questions and babysitting her kids while another who was my cheerleader sponsor was on to me and busted me at every antic I pulled. Now J ran with the thugs. She got pregnant in high school, got married, had a baby that died in infancy. His intestines were outside his body and he had no immunities. She had two other children (a daughter and a son) by this marriage, which ended in divorce and he (the ex-husband) is now deceased and oh by the way was the neighbor whose parents lived in front of me. This is worse than a bad soap opera I know. Ok, fast forward past the episodes in both our lives to thirty-something years later and we find ourselves working in the same office. J is an alcoholic and her son is a POS leach and they are living with her mom who has dementia. It is literally a circus. She is a cat with more than 9 lives. When I moved back to the area in 2005 and hired back in to a former employer J was under all kinds of letters of instruction from the employer. She had all kinds of legal problems and financial problems. Let me say right now that sober she is the sweetest person you will ever meet. That being said, between the DUI's, getting in a physical altercation with a cop (he had her down on the sidewalk beating the H out of her), shooting a would-be break in ex-boyfriend in the leg, and the work managers trying to terminate her she really held her own. About seven or so years ago she was going to by fired if she missed a day or even came in late. The only reason the courts had given her lee-way on all the DUI's was that she was her mom's primary caregiver. So one morning mid July she calls me crying and babbling all sorts of incoherent blurps. I caught something that sounded like "gonna die" and asked her if I needed to call 911. She said no. Our towns are 35 minutes apart. I called in emergency leave to work and rushed out there. Describing the situation is difficult. Her air conditioning has been out for a week, the floor is covered in pee pads for all the dogs and cats she and her mom were homing. The floor as well as all the pads were covered in pee and poop. Her mom can't remember me but wants to chit chat jibberish to me. There is a big dead swelled up dead dog in the pen in her back yard. Her POS son acting useless as the T's on a boar hog and his adolescent girlfriend just wants to help. J is weak as a new kitten and there are empty half gallon bottles of vodka on, behind, and beside every stick of furniture. I tell the kiddie girlfriend to run the bathtub full of tepid water, strip J down, and put her in the tub for 20 minutes, dress her, dress the POS son down on how that dead dog better be removed when I get back from the doctor's office where I am taking her and if not he will have to deal with me and it ain't gonna be pretty, and literally carry her to the doctor's office. I end up taking her to eat pizza and she has a doctor's statement that will save her. I got my son to go fix her air conditioning. He says never ever again in a million years. I struggle to remember everything that happened since. She rented out her own home to a co-worker that cleaned it up. Her mom went into a nursing home, died between some of J's incarceration trips to county. There were numerous. Her mom's home gets foreclosed. She moves back into her own home which is now basically in the hood but used to be a nice neighborhood. Her POS son and his latest venomous girlfriend call the cops one night and have her picked up on yet another DUI. She undergoes more pressure at work for being AWOL. Last straw one night she leaves her home (drinking, of course) and rear ends someone at a stop sign. Around the first of this year she was forced into retirement since she knew she was about to face convictions. She was forced into retirement with very little money (FERS). She has spent the last 7 or so months in a women's recovery unit. None of us former friends and co-workers have been in touch with her. Recently I spoke to a lady involved in prison ministry and she tells me she is doing well. I sure hope so. I had a friend that does transport for prisoners check on her last week and she also tells me she is doing well. She has one more phase to serve before they find her a job on the outside and provide transport to and from it. She requested that I write to her. I did this week. I'm told she wants to put me on a visitation list. Of course, I will go but admittingly I am afraid. I cannot even put into words the types of fear this envokes in me. Those of you who pray please do so. I want to show her love but I don't want to be an enabler.
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