Selling your whole herd

[MBhorses]

Thanks everyone for your taughts and prayers.

Please keep our family in your prayers.

 

[K Sera]

I hated to even comment on this but I had to! Sounds like your husband is looking for a "smokescreen" to cover up what's really going on! DON'T give up what makes YOU happy! Take the necessary measures to be able to do for yourself and know that you will be fine ... it may take some time and some tough times ahead but you can do it .... you and the kids and the horses!

Been down that road before .....

 

[mininik]

Sounds like a midlife crisis to me. I would downsize if it'll make life more enjoyable, but I wouldn't ditch everything I love for someone who is supposed to love me.

Been there, done that and IT DOESN'T WORK.

 

[susanne]

It sounds like you are the only one making an effort to save your marriage...why should it be entirely up to you to make such sacrifices?

You say he is acting like he's 20??? That sounds ominous to me. Just a thought, but did he pick the one thing he thought you would refuse to give up so that he could go sow his wild oats and not be the bad guy?

I absolutely agree with Jill that you DO NOT ask someone you love to give up their passion.

At the very, very least, you could keep a couple of your favorites and board them so that he can have his no-yard lifestyle without entirely cheating you of your dreams.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best. Take care.

 

[minie812]

All I can say is I sure wish you the best whatever your decision is but it sounds like hubby may be using the minis as an excuse for other issues whatever they may be, maybe he is overwhelmed with something right now. I would sit down and have a heart to heart and not do anything to drastic right now as things could change later for you.

 

[Floridachick]

Sounds like you need to sell your husband! Seriously, nobody that LOVES you would ask you to sell your land and all your herd. Is he depressed? Sorry

 

[user 488]

Sounds like you need to sell your husband!

UGH! I agree. I say WAKE UP and smell the horse poop! There is more going on here.

There are better solutions than having to give up everything you love. No man is worth your self identity.

 

[disneyhorse]

Hmmmm I sort of agree with the others... a relationship is a two-way street. I do NOT believe in ultimatums without compromise that BOTH sides are not HAPPY with.

I agree... downsize to (not sure how many horses you have) 2-3 horses and see how it goes. See if it makes a difference.

If both of you want to move, it will be easy to board that number of horses (I live in an apartment and board six). That way he has his smaller house and you still have some horses to love on.

Before you jump into something crazy, see what you can work out.

Andrea

 

[susanne]

Melissa,

The more I think about this, the more it bothers and saddens me.

Whether he will go with you to counseling or not, you need to talk with someone about this. You will not be doing any good at all for your children if you make such a one-sided sacrifice. They will know that you allowed yourself to be miserable for their sake, and conclude that that is what marriage and family are about. I'd rather the children see that loving your family does not mean giving up your dreams.

 

[Miniv]

I agree with everyone that has said ---

Love (and marriage) is about compromise, not total sacrifice.

Something sounds not right with your husband's weight loss, behavior, and sudden change of interest.

Counseling seems to be in order, IMO.

 

[FairytailGlennMinis]

Compromise is one thing....selling down to where he isn't having to do the work is one thing...this however is flat out emotional blackmail. What happens after you give up the horses and the house so he can pretend to be footloose and fancy free again? What will be making him unhappy and you the bad guy then? There is a LOT more going on here...

 

[Leeana]

It takes two to make a relationship work

.

I am 100% devoted to my ponies, if my "man" ever say "hey hunny, im sick of these ponies, we are selling them" i would say

and

to him and then give my ponies a

.

But that is just me

.

Okay, seriously now, i am sorry but PLEASE talk to him, let him know there are OTHERs in the family besides him and if he doesnt want what is best for you and what makes you happy well then that is not good !

 

[MeadowRidge Farm]

Just going to agree with what everyone else has already said. We have been married 37 years, and there is no way my hubby would ever even think of asking me to do something he knew would not make me happy nor would I to him. If I were you..I would not give my horses up for him..What is going to be next???.... and THEN will you and the kids be happy???

Something just dont sound good about this. SORRY.

 

[Maxi'sMinis]

I know this is really hard. I can feel your pain and sadness. I have to agree with the majority. There is no person worth giving up your entire life for especially under these conditions. If you are capable of supporting some or all of your horses then I would keep them. If you don't have income that is a different situation. If I would have given up everything for the men in my life I wouldn't have anything left by now. Pretty much it's LOVE ME LUV MY ANIMALS. Stand up for your self girl.

Prayers GOD will give you the strength to get through this tough time and make the right choice for yourself and your daughter.

 

[Marty]

Nothing in the world would allow me to ever put my horses in front of my family, but I also think this is not the total problem although horses can be a readily excuse for other underlying problems.

Most men think with their wallets. I have to wonder if having horses is draining your finances. We all know they surely can and the bills with owning horses just keep on coming. Did you perhaps tell hubby that if he invested in horses for you that you would reap good profits? Is it possible that maybe he thought breeding horses was going to put him on Easy Street?

As far as horses tying you down he of course is absolutely correct. My hus wants to do some traveling with me and he is ready for vacation out of here. With a herd, it's not easy but do-able if well planned out.

I hope you two can sit down and figure out where the problem really is. Best wishes.

 

[barefoot]

I understand Melissa. If my husband was unhappy with us having horses I would get rid of them. If we needed to make a life change and move I would find homes for them. Would break my heart. But I would do it.

Sometimes someone needs to be self-sacrificing. Sometimes we need to take turns being self-sacrificing. Maybe he can take a turn next time. I think your thinking is very loving.

Emma

 

[Reijel's Mom]

Most men think with their wallets. I have to wonder if having horses is draining your finances. We all know they surely can and the bills with owning horses just keep on coming. Did you perhaps tell hubby that if he invested in horses for you that you would reap good profits? Is it possible that maybe he thought breeding horses was going to put him on Easy Street?

I was about to inquire re: the same thing! Many folks go into this and think they are going to make money, but I think more and more are finding that it just isn't working that way, at least not right now. Feed, vet, and farrier bills seem to cost way more than what most of these minis are selling for. I was at a mini auction this weekend and it was one of the saddest things I've ever seen. NICE registered minis, some with show records, some bred mares, some with babies at side - to be had for literally almost nothing. Some did not even get bids on them

!

I wish you the best of luck, and hope you can keep a couple as pals for you and your niece.

I think it will take a long time to sell a herd, anyway (unless you plan to take them to a sale) - so maybe that will give you and hubby time to think and plan things out.

 

[JourneysEnd]

Went through the same thing 20 yrs ago except it was dogs.

He started exercising and losing weight. Said the dogs (I was a breeder) were keeping us from traveling and doing things.

Then he decided the house was too much responsibility.

Then he decided I was the reason he was unhappy.

Been divorced 19 yrs now.

So sorry you're going through this. Hope your story ends up different.

 

[Cathy_H]

Thing is what are you going to do for your "fix" - what will you be doing to fill all of your time that you now spend on the horses? Do you have other hobbies that you will be doing just for "you"? If you do not then I say you are not going to be happy & it IS going to affect your family & affect your relationship with your husband - perhaps even to the point of resentment.................... If the "wifey ain't happy then the hubby ain't happy" & he may want to get rid of the next thing that is making him unhappy & I feel his finger may be pointing at you.

 

[Echo Acres]

I felt a need to post on this one. My husband and I are trying a fresh start after nearly getting a divorce. It seemed as though everything pointed to the horses fault (he is not a horse lover like myself and kids). I am not like you. I felt that if my husband was so selfish to ask me to give up something that meant so much to me and has been a part of my life longer than he has, that he didn't love me enough to stay around. Yes, maybe cut back and make more time for the family. But how happy would you be moving to town and not having horses. Probably about as happy as me and guess what, I don't think it will work in the long run. If making him happy makes you and your kids miserable... I say good bye husband. Sorry to talk so harsh, but have been in a similiar situation. I have been married for 10 years. He doesn't truely love you if he is asking that...think this over very hard before it is too late!