Selling your whole herd

[MBhorses]

We are selling our whole herd. We work so hard to get where we are. My husband has decide he no longer wants horses. I had to pray long and hard on my decision to sell. My family has to come first over my horses. So I decide the best thing for our family is the sell the whole herd. My husband is no longer happy with me because of the horses. I want what my husband and I used to have for each other. Those who had to make very hard choices had did you all make it through. I love my family very much. I love my horses as well, but my family has to come first.

so please pray for us and our family during this very very hard time. Myself and the girls are the ones who are harding a hard time with this. I finally got my dream appy and pintos I always wanted now this.I know I will miss the horses dearly, because I live,breath and eat horses 24/7.

I feel like i am lossing my best friends by letting go of the horses. My horses have help me throught so much, but I had to put my family first.

others out there had to make hard choice like this pray for us.

 

[Jill]

Melissa --

Is there any room to compromise? And reduce your numbers but still keep some?

If no room to compromise, what is he going to be unhappy about next (is what I would think).

I just can't imagine the situation and am sorry for you and your girls

Jilll

 

[OhHorsePee]

So sorry to hear you are going through this. You are right in the family first decision. I am sure with the economy that there are farms that will go through the same thing as you are now. All you can do is go with your head not your heart.

 

[MBhorses]

My husband no he don't want any horses anymore

My husband don't like to be tied down because of the horses.My husband used to love the horses like we do, but know he don't any want to look at them.

The things we do for our family.Myself and the girls are very very heart broken. I pray the Good Lord helps us throught this.We have been marriage very long time.

I am so heartbroken it is very hard to type sorry.

All of you who have meet me through the forum knows how much I love horses. This is very very hard choice for me. I don't know how I am going to handle when the last one leaves our place. I will be so lose without the horses. the horses bring so much joy to me and the girls. the horse help me throught my ups and downs. so pray they will go to good homes a must.

 

[justagirl]

I say keep the horses ... get rid of the husband .

And I hate to appear harsh .. but he should have considered this BEFORE buying abd breeding .

Flamesuit on ......

 

[MBhorses]

My husband is the one who got most of the horses for us,because he wanted them as well.

We just got Keepsake in Dec our dream appy. I love all the minis but letting go of the ones I have work so hard for is going to be hard. I have cried all weekend of this.

 

[Basketmiss]

Melissa,

So sorry to hear this...

IF you get rid of the horses then will everything be great between you and your husband? I mean if so thats great but if not and you have given up your babies, what a shame...

I wish for you all to compromise , so you could keep a couple horses. I wonder if you didnt have as many would that make him feel better if you didnt spend all your time with the horses and more time with your hubby.

Maybe he just needs some attention. Its easy for us to get caught up in something and take your spouse for granted. If you devote more time to him , maybe he could handle a smaller amount of horses??

I am hoping it will work out for you and your family..

Missy

 

[Jill]

Melissa --

Don't not stand up for yourself. What I'd be asking myself is what kind of a husband would want me to give up something that is so important to me??? If he understands what horses mean to you, then how much does he care about your feelings to make this kind of a demand?

Jill

 

[MBhorses]

For the last few months I have given my husband more time then my horses. My husband does not any want our house anymore. My husband wants to move to a place with no yard.

he told me I need to think of the family needs first.my daughter ashley used to love horses until a few months ago now she want play with them or nothing.

 

[Jill]

Also, you say you are putting your family first and everyone should do that imo, but are you putting your family first, or are you putting your husband's whim first? Don't talk yourself into doing the wrong thing... I'm betting you are not giving up horses for the sake of you and your kids, right?

It's just so hard for me to relate to the situation, and I am very sorry about what's going on.

 

[RockRiverTiff]

My condolences go out to you. Many forum members have faced this choice for various reasons. I don't know the dynamics of your home life, so I have no advice to give there, but I will say that knowing how much you love your horses it seems worth it to look for a compromise. Are there any other breeders in your area? Perhaps you could keep a couple horses via a partnership with someone else. Even if you DO make the difficult decision of selling all of them, put a buy-back clause in the contracts of those you really value. I wish you the best.

 

[MBhorses]

my husband did not tell me to sell them, but told me he didn't want them anymore so what would you get out of that?

I am giving up the horses to save my marriage.

 

[whimsical]

I have to agree that a compromise has to be met.

My thoughts are that you are trading your happiness for your husband's. How much can he care for you if he is willing to see you go through so much pain? I can understand financial strains and time constraints that he would want to be lessened. But reducing your herd could accomplish that. And with fewer horses you could afford someone to care for your horses if you decide to go away with him for vacation.

I just think there is something more going on here. I would investigate that further.

 

[MBhorses]

No children want their parents not together. My children would be more heart broken over us then the horses. So I had to do what is best for my marriage and my children.

 

[Jill]

my husband did not tell me to sell them, but told me he didn't want them anymore so what would you get out of that?

I am giving up the horses to save my marriage.

This will sound hurtful but if he cared about you as much as you care about him, he'd not LET you do this. He really wouldn't.

If he doesn't want to be tied down -- sell some of them and then you can more cheaply hire a critter sitter so you can go away on trips. It will also take you less time to do chores, etc.

If someone was willing to let me give up my main passion in life, to suit their current mood, that wouldn't be a person I would see a long term future with and there are some people who get to the point of where you cannot give up enough of yourself to make them happy. It's a no win situation if this is the case here.

 

[Minimor]

my husband did not tell me to sell them, but told me he didn't want them anymore so what would you get out of that?
I am giving up the horses to save my marriage.

Melissa, just be very sure that giving up your horses will actually save your marriage! I'm with the others here, and have to wonder...when your horses and your home and yard are gone....what is left for your husband to not want???

I don't mean to be hurtful, but so many times I have seen different women in this same situation. Husband uses the horses for an excuse for what is wrong with his life, then when the horses are gone the real truth comes out, it wasn't really the horses at all, it was his life in general, and it's actually the wife/family that he doesn't want. The horses were only an excuse, and once they are gone he comes out with something else that is wrong. The wife is left with no hubby and no horses, and then she dearly wishes that she had kept the horses and ditched the hubby!

Just be very, very sure.

edited to add: I meant to add in above--I cannot imagine asking someone I love to give up something that that person loves as much as you love your horses. If your husband wants you to give up all your horses to make him happy, he isn't showing much care for what makes you happy. If the horses are taking too much of your time, that's a fair complaint from him--but that should be able to be fixed by comprimise; by selling half or 3/4 of your herd, you free up more time for family things, and yet you get to keep some horses for your personal enjoyment. Keep a number that you can care for on your own, so that hubby doesn't have to do anything with them.

 

[Basketmiss]

Is there a chance he is going thru a mid life crisis? Men say and do weird things if they are.. I remember you saying your husband bought you some horses. weird for him to now be DONE with them??

I just hope for your sake that you dont sell the horses and then he still isnt satisfied.

It shouldnt be about either one of you giving up Everything.. I hate to hear you giving up the most important thing to you, what if he then decides its ok he wants horses again. I guess I dont like the wishywashy way he is acting..

Good luck I hope he will reconsider..

Missy

 

[MBhorses]

My husband loss 85 lbs since dec has not been the same.He looks great but thinks he is a 20 or so sometimes. who knows

he has been on a diet. He said he loss all the weight for his health which is great. I think he looks very nice now, but I loved him no matter what he looked like. I am a person who is very caring and try to put others first over myself.

it makes me feel like with the horses i am not putting him and the children first.my daughter no longer wants the horses now either which is not like her you all talk to her on here.so that is only me and my niece caring for the horses.

I pray the Good Lord gives me the direction I need.

 

[kaykay]

Melissa

there is a lot more going on here then just horses

And of course there are 2 sides to every story. It will be very difficult to sell an entire herd. Just put some up for sale and get your numbers down. None of us can possibly know what your marriage is like or what the answer is.

I do know when I talked with you once I told you to go slowly and not rush putting a herd together. I think sometimes we get so excited and get over our heads rather quickly. Breeding is very stressful as there are so many things that can go wrong and I know the stress alone can do a lot of people in. I have had second thoughts myself many times when things go bad.

Good luck to you in whatever you decide

Kay

 

[Suzie]

Melissa, there is a lot more here than getting rid of the horses. My husband and I have been married 24 years and not once in that time have I told him to get rid of something that he enjoyed to "save our marriage". We have not always liked the same things and to be honest until we started in the minis 8 years ago, we never liked the same things. But that did not mean we could not enjoy our individual interests and still be happily married. I love him way too much to demand he give up anything just because it does not please me.

I would strongly suggest family counseling. A drastic weight loss in your husband could be a signal something else is going on. It is not unusual for children to grow out of interests from time to time and adults grow tired of the "same ole thing" too. But I have to agree with the statement "this week the horses, what goes next week?" There is more to this story than just being tied down with animals.

You will probably end up selling your horses anyway to please him and your daughter but I hope you are not letting go of your dreams in hopes of solving this problem. At most, I feel it could only be a temporary fix.

My heart goes out to you. I hope you can come to some compromise.