Hi there, I know how you feel. I used to have a mini gelding that i showed when i was a teenager but i way to competative and my parents decided it was best for me to sell my horse, if you ask them they wont say the forced me but the pressure they put on me to sell was so strong that i did. I don't regret selling him because i learned a lot in the years where i did not have a horse, i also had more time for my social life. I still don't have a horse at this time, but i have taking riding lessons, and been going to more mini shows and talking to old friends and although i really want to get back into it money is an issue now because i just bought a car and i moved out and thats life. I'm working on picking up a part time job so start saving up but it could be take a year or more to get the horse of my dreams and i can do is wait.
I know it hurts to have your horses sold even though you wanted to keep them, and i know how hard it can be to want to show but not be able to. It does get harder around Nationals and Worlds. But maybe you need to take some time off from the horses and if in a year or however long it takes you really really want to get back into it then do it. You can always see if any barns around you need any help or would let you show with them in the mean time.
-Vanessa