Last few days of school are here, graduation right around the corner

[Leeana]

*sigh* ..this might be long

The last two days of school, ever, are here. First off, i'm a really emotional person lol. This might come off as more of a rant but i just want to share my feelings with someone and who better then the forum family. I dont know where to start. Its really scary to even think about life outside of high school right now. It still feels like we are going to go back next September and tada, things will be like they always are. It still feels like freshman year too. Thursday is the last day, however we have to be there friday until around noon for Senior Awards in the AM which is 2hrs, have to be there at 7:30am ...i have not gotten to school that early in a while. I remember when i use to get to school at 7:15am (class starts at 8am) and then slowly over the past year i kept getting there later and later and later and now i on average walk in at 7:55 and somedays when i am really running behind, 9am which isnt bad bc i have agri science 1st, 2nd, 4rd and 4th and he doesnt really care. I am going to miss that class, i am going to miss FFA.

Senior year was not all the hype i thought it would be, just allot of $$$$ going into the schools pockets. $50 one day for this, $150 deposit for this, $75 deposit on the gown, $40 college applications, $35 class fees, $200 graduation announcements from jostens ugh. I was expecting to be living out of a box by graduation at the rate they were taking money from us all. They could build a new school with all the money they bring in from seniors. I remember paying $5/yr fresh,souph,jr year and that was it, just to cover classe fees every fall lol ahh the good ole' days.

I also feel like i missed out on so much, so many things i just blew off at the time bc i had more important things to do (or well, atleast in my mind anyhow). Starting off at the beginning of this year i didnt go to Senior Resort (little camping trip the first couple weeks of school), i miss out on that and it seemed so small at the time but now i look at it as memorys i could have made. Then the biggy, i didnt go to the senior prom. I wish i had gone now. I chose not to go to prom bc the way i seen it, i could save like $300 on a dress, $75/limo, $50/shoes, Hair, Nails, Tanning and all that would come to nearly $400. Instead of prom, i chose to go to the McCabe Clinic, Taylors Sale, Heritage Sale and spend the money towards that instead. Not saying it was a mistake, i think i had/will have 10x more fun doing all that then i could have ever had a prom but now that i seen all the pics and everything, i just wish i could have been there with my girls lol. Another reason i didnt go was bc the guy i liked at the time couldnt go, and if he had gone, he would have ignored me and ran off with his other friends and i would have just gotten angry so i saved myself the drama. Then i missed my last FFA BBQ bc i decided to sleep in after being out all night with some friends camping, i regret that too. I'm leaving high school with allot of regrets.

I just dont feel like high school should end like this. I missed so much i cannot believe its just going to end like this and be over ...already. Okay, life with the horses kind of took over the last year and half when i got really into everything and it was worth it, that is somewhat the reason lol. So many people i never talked to that i wish i could have talken to now. So many people i wish i had gotten to know. Its also odd, looking back to freshman year i was so worried about fitting in and the friends i was friends with then i have not talken to in over a year ...i moved on and got a whole new group of friends of the years. When the heck did that happen? Now instead of worrying about fitting in i dont really care, i will not see any of these people agian for a long long time. Which brings me to my next random though. Will i ever see all my friends agian? Every year, it seems like each senior class just disapears after graduation and you never see them or hear from them agian. Where do they go? Its always really weird to me. I have to be honest with myself, i barely see the friends i have right now unless they are horse friends and the only time i get to really spend time with them is at school. I know that after graduation (june 3rd) i will not see them agian and that is soo true. All are going so far away. One is going to Oklahoma for American Sign Language Interpreter, others are going to NY, TN, traveling around and i will be lucky if they are in this country half the time.

Three of my closest friends are going off the travel around the world, first stop is germany. Man, i wish i could go but i have other things here. Everyone is leaving, but nope ..not Leeana. I'm staying here and going to the local college. Everyone is going to do something big in there life and going somewhere and im staying here in the little town of Clyde Ohio out in the boondocks. I will prob hear from some of my underclassement friends who are here for like 1 or 2 more years. I kind of expected more people to stay here and go to the local colleges, i didnt expect them all the just ..leave.

So can i make up the last year in two days? Prob now, i soo want to. I have to say, its pretty tempting to just stand up at graduation and be like 'okay listen here i have some things to say' but thats not me lol. I was never the most popular kid in school, not the smartest, not the most tallented, not the one known for much. Only thing i am known for in school is that i am 'the mini horse girl' lol. Not a bad reputation or thing to be known for, i know people who are known for much worse things if you know what i mean

:.

I was thinking about it today, there are a couple people i didnt think would make it to graduation. The one thing i will prob always remember from high school is this one boy, actually my best friends brother who's goal in life was to make my life he**. I get along with everyone at school, but he has had it out for me since day one. I'm not one to attack someone, but he and i have had our little fights ...one last one today just for good measures lol. To be honest, i've taken waaay to much from that kid since i could remember. Part of me wants to tell him what i think of him on the last day of school thursday, the other part just says let it go you will never see him agian after next weekend ..let it go. I know i should let it go but part of me just wants some type of little petty revenge to say 'Hah ..i win' but thats not me, i cant do that although i did buy car window paint just incase bc its tempting lol.

Sooo as school winds down over these next two days i want to try to make up for everything i didnt do these past 4 years. If i had just done this 4 years ago i wouldnt have to do it now lol. I am taking some memories away with me though, like all the FFA memories, when Jeff colored his hair and it fell out, all the movie nights we had out at the campgrounds ..so many more. Its just sad knowing that now the weekends are just another part of the week, no more getting up at 6am every day, no more dress code. Things are about to really change, i know it.

On a positive note, i did get a job and i am getting my classes ready for fall 07' when i start college

. It feels like so much is ending, but i know something is about to start. Thursday is going to be a sad day, i'm just trying to look forward to things like horse shows, clinics, sales that are coming up.

I'll post pictures from graduation, FFA Banquet and Senior Awards after everything is done. Tommarow is the Senior Softball Tournment. I'm going to miss the halls of CHS so much. These next two days are not going to be easy.

Thank you for listening, its just that time of the year

:

 

[billiethekid40]

Leeana i didn't get a chance to read all your post yet, but i promise i will do it! I just wanted to say YOU'LL BE FINE in the big wide world after graduation and sometimes its fun to do something scary (other wise people wouldn't make money off horror moves and roller coasters). Enjoy your graduation activities and BE SAFE! Be there for your friends and look out for them too! And its not just enoug to drive sober and make good choices- watch out for others on the roads who might not have!

 

[Ashley]

Boy do I remember senior year. This month is 5 years ago that I was there. Where does the time go.

Do I miss it, yes some days. What I wouldnt give to go back and have little to no resposablity, to have the safty of home and school.

Other days I am glad I am long gone from that part of my life.

I was a trouble maker in school, mostly because nobody ever understood what I was trying to say, of coarse with out saying it.

:

Senior year was like a bonding year. My class had all of its little clicks, noboby talked to anybody in other clicks. But senior year was different. I would say by the end of they year 98% of us were all friends and all talked to everybody. Grad night was very teary eyed. I miss some, others I was glad to say good bye to.

However, rest assured those that you wished you would never seen again, you will seen again. I have seen so many of them since I have graduated. Granted most dont even reconize me anymore as I have changed so much. Which when you go from normal long haired girl to tomboy, tattooed, peirced and short hair, who would reconize me.

There will be days and things you miss, but you will be just as eager and ready for the new world. It is scary at first but it dont take long to adjust.

 

[lvponies]

I guess alot of people leave school with some regrets and should haves. Remember, you did what you wanted to do at that time and made your choices. You can't change it now. What you can do is learn from all your high school experiences, those you had and those you wished you had had, and apply all that to your future. Real life is just beginning for you. 20 years from now, what happened in high school won't seem so important. I know leaving school is bittersweet, but get excited about your future and college!! The world is opening up for you!!! All new experiences in life await you. Look back at high school one more time, appreciate it for what it was, wave it goodbye and charge forward into the rest of your life!!! I am so excited for you and know you will have wonderful, brand new experiences in your future!!!

 

[Marty]

Leanna, what a stroll down memory lane you just took me on!

I think high school was a security blanket for most of us; a place where we could go and be wrapped up in friends and lots of happening things.

I miss my school sooooo much! Sometimes I think I live in the past way too much. Those were the best years of my life. Yes, I could have done more, but I did what I did at the time: was member of a few clubs, skipped classes, skipped school, smoked in the girls room.........ahhhhhh, and left my mark on about every tree on campus but had a blast. If I had it to live over again, I probably would have done the same things, both smart and stupid.

Dan's in the same boat in a way, although most of his senior year got screwed up. He's feeling like "what the heck do I do now?" and very unsure of which way to go. At 18, who really knows what to do next?

You are right. In a blink of an eye, they will be gone, all your friends, ...spread out all over the place, and if you move away like I did, chances are you'll never see your class mates again. You'll wonder 30 years from now where everyone went and how it all happened to fast! Now, there is classmates.com if you wish to rekindle any old friendships, so that's a good way of keeping in touch.

Leanna, not to worry: I want you to know that you sure came a long way right here over the years and really grew in knowlege and maturity. Congratuations on a job well done at many levels. You will succeed in any path you desire. You've come a long way baby! :aktion033: :aktion033: :aktion033:

 

[Leeana]

Tommarow is the big day, sooo scary. Turned in books today, uhmm didnt we just get these books? I didnt even use them and now we are turning them in??? ALREADY???

Its all just going way to fast. I dont want to go back but i dont want to have to move on either if that makes any sense lol. I am very glad to say i went through all 4 years without one sip of alcohol, no cigarets .....which is allot more then i can say for the rest of our graduation class. I think its mostly the people i'm scared of letting go. One more day *sigh*.

I feel a little better now, thanks you ladies are great!

 

[pamk]

Hey...I am sorry you feel you missed out on a lot of things....you will still find "many memories" about your senior year..years from now

This is just the beginning of your adult life...I am 41 and wish I could do/or did things different all the time...it never changes..that is just how life is as an adult. You just learn to live with your decisions and also LEARN from your decisions...NOW GO OUT AND HAVE A WONDERFUL (FUN) GRADUATION! :aktion033:

Pam

 

[kaykay]

it is a bittersweet time for sure and scary! I know you will do great. Especially once you get into college.

I do agree though on the graduation thing. Katy and Christie graduated the same year and I thought id go bankrupt lol. I couldnt believe what it costs just to graduate!

 

[Leeana]

Its over and i am finially done ....*snif* *snif*

I found out i was voted most likely to show up to graduation late LOL. I have to admit, i am excited to get on with life now knowing that i dont have to worry about school.

Its sad, but this is a great feeling!! We need 23 credits to graduate, i got 25 and i passsed all sections of the OGT's (Ohio Graduation Tests) so its all go from here. Graduation rehersal tommarow :bgrin

 

[~Karen~]

Awwww{{{HUGS}}} Embrace life as it comes. There is something new and exciting around every corner. Don't be afraid to walk down it's blocks. Just like the 1st day you ever set foot in a school, you will be making your first footprint in adulthood, and on into collage . You'll be just fine! ;~) Even though you feel like you missed out on creating memories in school, I bet you created memories elsewhere those times... like your camping trip... bet you could pont out some times there. :~) Yes, it can be expensive, but you made it through those expenses, and I am sure it was well worth it. And tomarrow still comes. We all have big purchases in life, they always come up, this was just one of those times for you. At least you are getting to graduate with close friends. My family moved from Colorado to Arkansas during Christmas break of my 12th grade. I graduated without my close friends, and barely knowing anyone. I helped work on graduation, helped work on the senior prom, helped vote on the senior trip and never got to partake in it. The new school didn't believe in dancing so we didn't get a prom there, and I felt short changed when I didn't get to go to Disney World, but had to go to Branson instead (and Branson wasn't nearly as big back then as it is now) But... I still get to attend reunions set by my Colorado school!! And I treasure that,a nd Classmates.com is a great way to stay in touch with classmates... you should check it out! And now days we have computer/emails to be able to stay connected with old school friends!! That has reunited me with some of my best friends from school, and can do the same for you. Do your best to stay in touch with friends who mean alot to you, especially if they are girls... it is so hard to find a friend down the road if you lose connection with them and they get married, a permanent email address is wonderful, no matter how many moves , how many name changes, no matter what, if an email address is kept permanent, it will be a way to keep from losing contact. But pressing forward, you will be making new friends who you will become just as close to as you are with your highschool friends. You are going to do great! Enjoy life and don't be afraid to be adventurous!

~Karen