Just some thoughts

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MBennettp

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Location
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First of all, I want to say that I really do like most of the people on this forum and would really like to thank Mary Lou for doing such a fine job and for making a place for all of us mini horse fanatics to get together.

There are sure a lot of the old members that have quit posting. The few that I have talked to said they stopped posting because of some people that have been so nasty to them. Not only on the forum but sending them nasty e-mails too.

I think it is sad that the wealth of experience that these people have shared in the past can be lost to the entire forum because some people thinks it is funny to be mean and nasty and try to humiliate them.

It is a great loss to the forum when so many have left because of 2 or 3 that think being mean is okay.

I also have really slowed down on posting for the same reason, I see the same posters bashing one person after another and it is easier to just not post than it is to get bashed.

Anyway, I for one, miss a lot of the old posters and their knowledge. And, if someone wants to bash me because of this post, go right ahead, I won't give you the satisfaction of even knowing whether or not I read your comments or whether I have you blocked!

Mary
 
I have a pretty simple answer for this ...

Anyway, I for one, miss a lot of the old posters and their knowledge.
They have emails ...websites ...phone numbers just like everyone else, there are other ways to chat and contact them. I know, i am brilliant
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If you cant take the heat, stay out of the fire.
 
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I miss a lot of people that used to post on the forum. I used to look forward to their posts everyday. I took a bit of a hiatus from the forum, but now that I am back, things are very different! Not necessarily bad different...but different. Maybe I am getting resistant to change in my old age. :DOH!
 
I've been here since the beginning, in May of 1997 I first looked in.

Many have come and gone, some even passed on. It is as in any community, people move in, they move out and they leave, not always because of anything to "do with" that community, but because life changes and they need to keep up with that, their priorities are different.

In the 11 years I've been reading this board, there have been times when I've only looked in to read, sometimes to drop private messages to people if I saw they needed a note. Lately I have been unable to post much due to time constraints and my laptop's keyboard was missing the top row of letters. It is far too time-intensive to copy and paste replies, but I have been reading and responding on a few things.

I have only ever gotten a FEW nasty, private emails or messages. Of those 11 years, to say that there were two or three horses' you know whats, I think is something, particularly because I have probably said some things that made them feel uncomfortable b/c of things they do (they know who they are).

I've gotten a few concerned emails from friends who thought it might have been them I was referring to, etc., but really, there are far more terrific and reasonable people here than we're given credit for.

It IS a community, with youth, with older members, some of them have an agenda all their own, others are new to horses, long-timers to professionals and there is a wealth of experience to enjoy as well as friendships or even just the healthy discussions we all get into.

I'm sorry if anyone felt the need to leave because of unsolicited emails. I hope they still look in on us (and waves to those I might have known).

Liz
 
Many have come and gone, some even passed on. It is as in any community, people move in, they move out and they leave, not always because of anything to "do with" that community, but because life changes and they need to keep up with that, their priorities are different.
Well said, nootka. A mesage board ebbs and flows, the currents change, divide and come together again. Life moves on

and we come and go. The board reflects that...

Of those 11 years, to say that there were two or three horses' you know whats, I think is something, particularly because I have probably said some things that made them feel uncomfortable b/c of things they do (they know who they are).
Heh. No doubt they do. I have only been hanging around here for 8 years. And I can only think of a couple of bad apples that annoyed me to the point where I got angry. After He Who Must Not Be Named was banned - and all the nasty PMs he liked to spew... I drifted away for more than a year - peeking in now and then but never posting. Most of us come and go in cycles like that. By the way - there has never been a poster on this board in the past 8 years that has come anywhere clsoe to the vitriol of the one I mentioned.

I've gotten a few concerned emails from friends who thought it might have been them I was referring to, etc., but really, there are far more terrific and reasonable people here than we're given credit for.
Definitely!

It IS a community, with youth, with older members, some of them have an agenda all their own, others are new to horses, long-timers to professionals and there is a wealth of experience to enjoy as well as friendships or even just the healthy discussions we all get into.I'm sorry if anyone felt the need to leave because of unsolicited emails. I hope they still look in on us (and waves to those I might have known).
Report nasty emails and/or PMs. And then simply let them roll off your back. Here's to not caring!!

I guess I cannot think of an email that would stop me from enjoying all the experiences to be shared and discussions to be had... but not all of us are able to simply step aside and let such things flow by. We each handle things in our own way.

I also hope some of the "oldtimers" check in from time to time... and a few names just came to me...
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Leeana - I think that is what Mary was getting at - when you said - " If you can't take the heat, stay out of the fire." You see, none of should have to take the heat.
Lisa - on any forum with a vast diversity of personalities and experiences - there will be heated threads at times. Or at the very least, very animated discussions.
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So yes - occasionally "heat" happens. And if you do not care for that, it is best to stay out of those threads and steer clear of those topics. There is nothing wrong with that - we do it in real life all the time. And some people's "heat" is merely "discussion" to others.

I guess that what I am trying to say is that it is unreasonable to expect everything to be mellow all the time. And yet this board is very, very mellow compared to a lot of boards out there - on a variety of topics. What is considered a heated thread here is a picnic compared to what goes on elsewhere.
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So I guess it gets back to the basics of message boards... and how to handle things you do not like.

Ignore.

Scroll.

Let it roll off.

Or all three!
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You know, I must have a thick skin or go to bed too early and miss the bickering...

I rarely see any nastiness going on here. Even the transparent cattiness is usually dealt with swiftly. The moderators do a great job when something has to be done -- but I don't think there's a lot of mean spirited things that have to be cleaned up by them (or if so, they do it too fast for many of us to even have seen it).

By far for the most part, I see people being considerate of each other and trying to be helpful as well as friendly.

Have you noticed how many active members this forum has? I think it runs very smoothly and nicely, and I think that's amazing given the number of people, mix of personalities AND a topic we all are pretty passionate about.

There are some members who seem to take things way too personally, or to be overly impacted by other's opinions, or who decided to be upset by something before logging on. That is not the same as people being rude or mean to each other.
 
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I am also one of the "old timers" - I joined 10 years ago and have been a moderator for 2 years now.

Absolutely I agree there are people that come onto public forums just to make trouble. They are called trolls. I'm not interested in trolls. I am interested in miniature horses.

So if I have a question, I am fairly confident that there are others on this forum who have had a similar experience or have knowledge they can share with me. It's this exchange of educated knowledge that I'm interested in.

As far as the trolls go, just let the moderators or ML know if there's a problem. We're always here to help!

Liz R.
 
I just wanted to jump on and say....I LOVE THIS FORUM!

I have NEVER received even 1 nasty PM. All have been HELPFUL and ENCOURAGING.

IF I ever did, I would use the copy and paste function to post it to the main forum. I believe if you're not BRAVE enough to say it publically you shouldn't say it at all.

My advice for those that have received them, POST them so EVERYONE can identify these people and avoid them. I've noticed that members keep these kind of people inline if they post to the main forum.

End by saying again I LOVE THIS FORUM and have learned A TON from it. THANKS EVERYONE!
 
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Well as a moderator on this Forum for maybe 7 or 8 years now I find this topic comes up a few times a year. Not really making light of your feelings but in all honesty this is the tamest Forum I have ever been part of. If we (the moderators) swept out the troublemakers every day they would be replaced two fold. Not that we don't clean up once in awhile.
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It is just the nature of the Forum and we do the best job we can do. Some people just have stronger opinions (and stomachs) then others. If we were all the same it would be one boring World.

As I have said at least 20 times before.....you have a REPORT POST at the bottom of each post. USE IT! If you are getting nasty PM's from somebody.......LET US KNOW. We can't do anything about problems unless we know about them.

I truly believe some people just don't have the makeup to participate in any Forum as they don't want to hear that anyone has a different opinion than they do. Or they take offense to some pretty silly things. All in all this is a pretty great place.
 
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I am totally addicted to the LB forums. I find all of the posts interesting. Granted it isn't nice to be on the receiving end of some ones bad day but the risk is worth it to have the valuable knowledge and experience the forums bring me. I do look forward to many of the regulars posts especially the crafty members that share their awesome talents. I won't go any where else. I know if I have a question about minis this is where I will get the answer.

I like the heated debates
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, especially the ones that have a sense of humor and can laugh at themselves.

Thank you all
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, Mary Lou (For LB), Mona, Jill, Liz, Carol and all the moderators for sharing your time to moderate the forums, you are all the best.
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I haven't been on the forum but a year and a half. I was wondering who these old timers are or were. Do you remember their forum names and maybe their farm names.? I kinda feel like I would like to know these seriously missed forum members. Could someone list them and maybe tell a little about them? Just an idea.
 
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I too will chime in as moderator and say yes, this topic comes up quite often.
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We as mods do the best we can, but unfortunately, there is no pleasing everyone.

I agree with the fact that there are heated discussions, and there is nothing wrong with a heated discussion, as long as it does not get personal. Once that happens, we will delete posts, and issue warnings, or suspend account as we see fit. Some people like to push those lines, so sometimes it's hard to make judgement with how to proceed. And if your post is deleted, we are NOT required or obligated to contact the poster to let them know why. A simple reading of the rules will generally explain why the post was deleted.
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I also want to say that I think sometimes when people are sent PMs, it is because people are voicing an opinion and it may be personal and should be kept off the board. It may not be what the person receiving it wants to hear, but I personally feel it is better kept off the forum and taken to PMs, as long as it is not downright rude, harrassing or threatening etc.

Overall, I feel you are a good group of people and I know I sure enjoy your input here throughout the bvarious LB Forums, even if I don't get time to read and respond as often as I used to!
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I am all for lively discussions and love hearing the different opinions. I have met SO many great people on here. For the most part, I find it a fun and interesting place. And yes, thanks to MaryLou and all the folks who help keep this place functioning!

And OK, I am an idiot, I never really looked at the report button or realized what it was for!! LOL

I agree, different people have different personalities and different views, and it's great. only a handful take enjoyment out of being mean, or are just that way by nature. Dont anyone allow the handful to ruin everything. You will find them everywhere - in school, at work, in the neighborhood, etc... Can't really do anything about them to change them, it's just the way they are. It must be awful to lead such a miserable life with that frame of mind about things.

And dont take it personally either- they are probably that way with EVERYbody, not just you, LOL! I agree, if it is bad enough they KNOW they can't post it here because it would be removed, most email services have something where you can block them from even emailing you privately again. I would not even respond, just report it, and move on. They make their own lives miserable and you know misery loves company, so dont join them by quitting or giving up!

And for some of you 'old folks' out there that are still reading, please join back in if you are up to it.

Man, I guess I must have missed all the excitement with the One Who Shall Not Be Named, LOL (about fell out of my chair over that one, heehee)
 
I think perhaps one of the reasons this topic comes up every so often is that as we get to thinking about our old friends, we hope that maybe they ARE reading still and know we are thinking of them (and maybe even will decide to join in the fun with us again)
 
And if your post is deleted, we are NOT required or obligated to contact the poster to let them know why. A simple reading of the rules will generally explain why the post was deleted.
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THANK YOU Mona.....that is definitely something that needed to be said. The moderators do not owe anyone a personal explanation. Often times I do give a quick PM but sometimes there is just not enough hours in the day and I refuse to banter back and forth with anyone.

We pretty much know who the trouble makers are.........many stand behind an innocent facade and some are just, well..........fill in the blank
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Doesn't fool anyone.

And yes, I agree ML........I miss some of the old times too. Many still read and others have just moved on with other things. So be it. I respect their decisions.

Man, I guess I must have missed all the excitement with the One Who Shall Not Be Named, LOL (about fell out of my chair over that one, heehee)
LOL! Laurie! I think we all have those "ONE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED". (or maybe two or three
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) We can't like everyone and everyone cannot like us! But I am thankful for all the nice people I have met through this Forum.
 
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Am also an "oldie"...know there are still a few around...some just doing some reading. I know I do not post as much as I used to but when I have the time I like to come, visit and read to see what everyone else is up too.

The Mods do a great job here and as far as big forums go...this is the best run one I know of!!
 
I also want to say that I think sometimes when people are sent PMs, it is because people are voicing an opinion and it may be personal and should be kept off the board. It may not be what the person receiving it wants to hear, but I personally feel it is better kept off the forum and taken to PMs, as long as it is not downright rude, harrassing or threatening etc
Exactly. I have reported a few PMs in the past - and they were doozies. And I have thick skin - because as Carol pointed out - this forum is MILD. Extremely so. So you can only imagine what the PMs I actually reported were like. Some of them from He Who Must Not Be Named. Those were dark and interesting days - as Mona and Mary Lou and others can attest to.

As far as posting PMs on the board for all to see?

Ummmmm.... no. They are called Private Messages - meant to be a private conversation. Report them to the mods if you need to - but posting them for all to see is just wrong. I have never sent a nasty one - I have replied bluntly to a few nasty ones sent to me, however.
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I truly believe some people just don't have the makeup to participate in any Forum as they don't want to hear that anyone has a different opinion than they do. Or they take offense to some pretty silly things. All in all this is a pretty great place.
WORD - as they would say on other boards. On any board, some simply cannot see that if you ask for an opinion or advice - you are going to get it. I have seen people take offense to something someone said who was only trying to help them... and make it ino a Great Drama... and have often thought that if that same thread was transported to another board that it would be snarked on, shredded and then there really would be drama...

On any board - any topic - you will have a variety of types.

Those who always play the Victims.

The Drama Queens / Kings.

The Snarky. [SIZE=8pt]<---- ummmm... me at times [/SIZE]

The Sarcastic.

The I Am More Intelligent Than Yous.

The Bullies. [SIZE=8pt]<--- who are usually taken care of by Admin[/SIZE]

The Curious.

The Newbies.

The Sages.

The Empaths.

The Self-Appointed Mods. As opposed to the real ones.

Lots more... and lots of overlapping.

And most of the time we all get along just fine..

After years on internet boards - I can offer some advice - as seen on other boards - and here.

If you truly do not want to hear a variety of opinions... then do not ask for them.

If you only want people to nod and smile and agree with you - then say that.

Don't feed the trolls!! Ignore them when their pointy little heads pop up.

BTW - a troll is not someone who may simply disagree with you.

Most important - you cannot determine TONE on a board. You have no way to read between the lines. You cannot always determine if a person is snarking/smiling as they typed - or was truly annoyed. So attributing tone and motives to others and mislabelling them is a bad idea most of the time. Posting styles vary as well - and that IMO that just makes things more interesting. How dull it would be if we were all the same!

And NO SHOUTING. THIS IS SHOUTING. THERE IS NO NEED TO DO SO AT GREAT LENGTH!!

WE CAN ALL READ YOUR COMMENTS WITHOUT SHOUTING!!

Your point can be made just as well at a lower volume.
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Anyhoo - just some observations.

JMO. (Just My Opinion)

YMMV. (Your Mileage May Vary)
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I sure miss the old posters very much but I do think many lurk from time to time. I do wonder where is this one and that one. I see some of their websites done and gone. The oldies were sure goodies.

I think two things: (what? only 2 things??? LOL)
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1. This forum has helped my family live through a crisis, a nightmare that won't end and presently, everyone here who is writing letters for us, is helping make a difference in this world right now.

Sure, I've been roasted and toasted here and there on the hot seat from time to time but that's ok; it's opinion that's all and everyone is entitled, but don't get mean about it. I don't like meanies or sarcasm or cruelty or people insulting other's horses by slick inserted innuendo. Nah...play nice.

2. I think if people have a personal beef with someone, it does not need to be spoken of here at all. If someone screwed you out of a horse, or sold you a sick one, ripped you off, cheated in a show ring, whatever they did, take care of it privately. Do not hint of who ripped you off, just take your private matters elsewhere.

Last but not least I do think this forum is very tame compared to one candle forum I was on once years ago. OK so I practically burned my kitchen down to the ground with what I thought was my new kind of candle making invention........gee whiz they made chopped liver out of me in record time!
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Last but not least (again sorry) Please people, life is very short. Lick your wounds, bury your hatchets. There is NOTHING worse in this big old world worth wasting your time and energy on this little picky-oon stuff. Accentuate the possitive, eliminate the negative.

Best wishes to all.
 
I am fairly new but have noticed when these topics come up that the people that post things like "people take things wrong" or "some are thin skinned" or "maybe forums aren't meant for you" are usually the ones that caused the problems being complained about in the first place. Please don't tell me I am the only one that has noticed this
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I am fairly new but have noticed when these topics come up that the people that post things like "people take things wrong" or "some are thin skinned" or "maybe forums aren't meant for you" are usually the ones that caused the problems being complained about in the first place. Please don't tell me I am the only one that has noticed this
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I have to agree - and disagree. Yes, some of those "thicker skinned" folks make some very honest comments - both positive and negative. But then, some of those that are not as thick skinned usually make a big deal out of something that maybe wasn't, and they fire back. It goes both ways, and I think there are a lot of us that are in the middle that can see both sides pretty easily, and sit back and watch the discussion.
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