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Well-Known Member
Dec 2, 2002
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Why did the chicken cross the road?...


> JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the

> road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and

> dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

> BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because

> it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

> HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I

> personally helped that little chicken to cross the road.

> This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day

> One! - that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves

> to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

> GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the

> chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on

> our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for

> us. There is no middle ground here.

> DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

> COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you

> can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

> BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that

> chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

> AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

> JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken

> cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross,

> and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now,

> and will remain against it.

> DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this

> chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this

> side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of

> the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's

> acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new

> problems.

> OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is

> having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So

> instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls,

> which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that

> he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest

> of the chickens.

> ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe

> there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to

> the other side of the road.

> NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because

> he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

> PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent,

> hardworking American.

> MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which

> way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's

> Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No

> little bird gave me any insider information.

> DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he

> cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it

> crossed I've not been told.

> ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

> GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken

> crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and

> that was good enough.

> BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few

> moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time,

> the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case

> of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong

> dream of crossing the road.

> ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross

> the road.

> JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world

> crossing roads together, in peace.

> BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008,

> which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your

> important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is

> an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more

> stable and will never cra.#@&&^(C%..........reboot.

> ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the

> road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

> COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?


Well-Known Member
Jul 2, 2006
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West Central Wisconsin on the Mississippi River
Good one. Thanks