Danielle_E.
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- Joined
- Dec 2, 2002
- Messages
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Why did the chicken cross the road?...
>
> JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the
> road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and
> dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
> BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because
> it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
> HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I
> personally helped that little chicken to cross the road.
> This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day
> One! - that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves
> to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
> GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the
> chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on
> our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for
> us. There is no middle ground here.
> DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
> COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you
> can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
> BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that
> chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
> AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
> JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken
> cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross,
> and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now,
> and will remain against it.
> DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this
> chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this
> side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of
> the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's
> acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new
> problems.
> OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is
> having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So
> instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls,
> which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that
> he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest
> of the chickens.
> ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe
> there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to
> the other side of the road.
> NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because
> he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
> PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent,
> hardworking American.
> MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which
> way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's
> Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No
> little bird gave me any insider information.
> DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he
> cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it
> crossed I've not been told.
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
> GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken
> crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and
> that was good enough.
> BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few
> moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time,
> the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case
> of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong
> dream of crossing the road.
> ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross
> the road.
> JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world
> crossing roads together, in peace.
> BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008,
> which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
> important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is
> an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more
> stable and will never cra.#@&&^(C%..........reboot.
> ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the
> road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
> COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
>
> JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the
> road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and
> dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
> BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because
> it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
> HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I
> personally helped that little chicken to cross the road.
> This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day
> One! - that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves
> to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
> GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the
> chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on
> our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for
> us. There is no middle ground here.
> DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
> COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you
> can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
> BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that
> chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
> AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
> JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken
> cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross,
> and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now,
> and will remain against it.
> DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this
> chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this
> side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of
> the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's
> acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new
> problems.
> OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is
> having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So
> instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls,
> which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that
> he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest
> of the chickens.
> ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe
> there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to
> the other side of the road.
> NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because
> he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
> PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent,
> hardworking American.
> MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which
> way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's
> Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No
> little bird gave me any insider information.
> DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he
> cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it
> crossed I've not been told.
> ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
> GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken
> crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and
> that was good enough.
> BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few
> moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time,
> the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case
> of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong
> dream of crossing the road.
> ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross
> the road.
> JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world
> crossing roads together, in peace.
> BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008,
> which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your
> important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is
> an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more
> stable and will never cra.#@&&^(C%..........reboot.
> ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the
> road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
> COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?