I told my husband it's quits for me

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JennyB

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I have been crying all morning and I just can't seem to stop...
...I love him, but not the way I should...I have my mini's here that I need to sell and the market is so depressed...I am depressed and feel way bad. I have left him twice before and came back and this time I don't want to come back. I want to try to live on my own. I will be going with to my sisters home in Montana until I get on my feet and probably stay there.
....but this is so hard to put him through this after 27-years...
....Breaking up is hard to do....


<sniff>

Thanks for listening,

Jenny ...
 

stacyeking

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After 27 YEARS????

I feel very sad for both of you. I have a friend who recently ended a 24-year relationship, and I know what she deals with. It is a sad thing.

I'm sorry that is worked out this way for you and your husband.

Stacye
 

lilmiraclesfarm

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ah, I'm sorry. But you can't keep lieing to yourself. You have to do what you truely believe is going to make you happy.
 

ruffian

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My sister and husband divorced after 27 years. It was heck for a couple of years, but they are both much happier and healthier.

It sounds like this is what you need. So be strong, and our prayers are with you.
 

maplegum

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I left my husband after 16 years.

Yes, it was hard, especially with young children.

You have to go through the painful feelings to bring you out the other end. And at the other end is a new life awaiting you. It makes you a much stronger person.

I understand how hard it is to hurt someone that you care about. It was those feelings that almost made me go back to my husband. I remained strong and fought his tears, his pain, his promises.

Hang in there. It won't always be this painful.
 

The Simple Life Farm

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OMG!!!


Bless your heart. I know how hard it is to make that final decision. Sorry to hear you are having to sell your horses. But if this is what you need to do to be a whole person again, stay focused on your goal. Good luck, and know we are here when you need us.
 

JennyB

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I feel a little better tonight, but I can't leave until after the 24th of July when I have an important doc appointment, so having to live with him here is going to be even harder. Before I just left right away so I could get away from him, but now I have maybe 3 weeks to stay here at the house with him. I don't have any people children, but we share a dog and that will be hard for the dog, plus I am leaving 4 miniatures with him. He takes good care of them when I am gone, but just soon they weren't here. There is a large fenced in area at my sis's home in Montana that I could get ready for them, then a friend who lives there with a large stock trailer could come and get them all....I just don't know if I am doing the right things


Thank you all for your support and I know things will get better for both of us someday, that is why I am doing this. Right now he thinks, BOY what a BITCH, leaving me after 27-years and he thought we would retire together. But he drinks, I have mental issues which have hurt both of us. I would like to get on SSI, but can't be married to do that...and I am not leaving him just because I want to get SSI, I truly don't love him like I know I should and feel he would be happier with someone he has been wanting me to "BE" for 27-years and you can't change people.

If anyone would like to lease one of my Miniatures for their care who would be either in Washington, Idaho or Montana, please PM me and maybe we can arrange something. It would be better if I can't sell them, if they were gone from this place before Winter strikes...I would love to have them with me in Montana, but that might not be a realistic situation either. They are listed with pictures on the forum salesboard.

I am 53-years-old and look what I am doing....


Tell me I am doing the right things?

<sniff>

Jenny
 

Charlene

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jenny, only YOU can know if this is the right thing. i can tell you this much, i divorced after 25 years of marriage. i can honestly say i loved him the entire time but i do not know if i was ever IN love with him. hard to explain, so many emotions, but i knew it wasn't working for either of us. i was alone for several months when i ran into an old acquaintance at an auction i was attending to furnish my little apartment. that acquaintance invited me out for a cup of coffe. from that night forward, we were never apart until his death last november. when i found gary, i found what true love is.

that's not to say you have to find another man in order to be happy, i'm just giving you my personal experience. do what makes YOU happy. YOU are the only one who can live your life. it'll be a roller coaster of emotions until you are settled in to your new life but i have a feeling you know exactly what you want.

the first couple of years after my divorce, my ex and i were "distant". when he met a wonderful woman, we started having contact again. the 4 of us became very good friends, i love her like a sister. they were two of the people who were very supportive of me during gary's illness and since his death, they have been even more so. we are the 3 muskateers so, it CAN work out for all concerned.

i wish you much luck!
 

hhpminis

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Jenny, I am sorry you are going through this. I understand how hard it is on you.

I remember when you did it last time, you were sad and torn, but while you were apart, you got healthy, you got strong. Ask yourself, why can I not be healthy, happy and strong when I am with him. I think if you can figure that out, it will help you make up your mind and be settled with the decision.

I am not going to tell you what to do, this is something only you can decide and no one else's opinion matters right now except what your gut tells you.
 

JennyB

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Thanks sooo much gals and Annette...words of wisdom for sure. Yes I have left him 2 other times and become stronger only to come back. Actually both times I came back the very day he went into the hospital for life threatning surgeries, so I hope he doesn't pull that one again! There is a lot of water under the bridge between us and it's time for me to step away again and leave for good
...but it's still such a hard thing to do. I have spoken with my sis and she is coming over to visit relatives on the 16th and we will leave together and my dog, zip for Montana on the 26th. Zip is a very special dog for me because I got him for free in Montana when I left Michael before and he was my saving grace and licked all my tears away and there were a lot ....he is going back to Montana again and I know he and my sister, her husband and my friends who are there will all the there to help me become the stronger, better, healthier person I want to be.....and Charlene maybe we can all be friends like you did. Anything is possible...Thanks all of you for being here for me when times get tough, one can always count on your internet forum and friends....


<sniff>

God Bless you all,

Jenny
 

yankee_minis

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Dr. Phil says if there is any emotion left-- anger, sadness, or anything-- then you're not ready for the divorce.

Personal experience tells me this is true.

Best of luck to you!
 

Marnie

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Been there, done that (more than once) and I think Doctor Phil is real wrong!! I say get out while you still have your mind and while you can still be friends in the future. You don't want hate to set in.

Good luck to you with your future, I"m glad you have fiends and relatives to help you through this. ((hugs))
 
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Charley

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I agree with Marnie.

btw...Dr. Phil is a phony!
 

Charlene

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gee, i'd like to go back in time and put dr. phil in my cowboy boots when i was going through a divorce!!!!!
 

Hosscrazy

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I know how hard this is - do you have friends and family you can talk to for support during this difficult time? My ex and I split after 12 years (8 years ago) and seriously, I have never been happier in my life. We were too different, we grew too far apart, we had nothing in common anymore. Doesn't mean he was a bad person, just means that we no longer belonged together as a married couple.

Best wishes,

Liz R.
 

Gini

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Best wishes for your future life. The hardest part is leaving especially when your spouse tries to lay a guilt trip. I married in 1963 right out of high school, had a baby and moved to Michigan with him. Divorced in 1965 and it was the best thing for both of us.

Met and married my DH in 1966 and we have now been married for 42 years. We've had up and downs but wouldn't trade the years we've had together for anything. There is a wonderful life out there for you! Please don't get caught up in his pity parade, recognize it for what it is. A trap!

The best to you and the great life you are embarking on. {{{HUGS}}}
 

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