I need some parenting help...

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RainSong

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First, let me say I already feel like I'm the world's biggest screwup here. I can't sleep right now thinking about this, and am almost in tears typing this. Now, you all know Nathan is my angel...

The first problem is... food. He doesn't eat much variety. Lunch, breakfast, dinner, it's been the same thing for months now- and it's mostly junky foods. He won't usually try new foods- he may come over, point, even take some- and then he usually throws it on the floor without eating it. He lives off PB&J, Water, some strawberry or chocolate milk and occasionally juice, grilled cheese, goldfish crackers, chips, peanut butter toast or peanut butter ritz crackers and fruit breakfast bars. Sometimes he'll eat stuff like yogurt, too, but he gets burnt out on it and takes ages to get back to wanting to eat it. He started eating early, started self-feeding early, and started refusing foods early. This is my biggest problem, really- How the heck do I get this kid to eat more? He does get vitamins and calcium supplements now, but I am really really at a loss. Peer pressure would be nice, but I don't know anyone (aside from Nootka, and she doesn't live anywhere near us) that has little kids. We have finally got him on JUST a sippy cup not too long ago, and finally got him to drink flavored milk from cups, straws, and his own sippy cups - usually not tons, but more then he used to. We offer fruit with lunch and dinner, but he rarely eats it.

Second problem? Plates and bowls. He doesn't use them- we've never much given them to him. So... do we just start doing it now?

Third... Potty training. He's mostly dry in the mornings. Rather, a little wet but nothing major except a few times a month- it depends on what/when he drinks at night, goes to bed, etc. Usually if he goes to bed late or we're out late, he's very wet. He knows WHAT the potty is. I don't know how to get him to connect it with bodily function, however. He's seen us use the toilet, but still doesn't quite get that he needs to use it, too. He doesn't tell us if he is wet or dirty- he does repeat us if we say he's one or the other.

And... well, when do you switch to a toddler bed? He's still in his crib, has only gotten out once (and he fell out, that time)- he doesn't even try to get out as far as I know. Oh yea... He's not napping in the afternoons much anymore... should he be? He gets up at 7-7:30am, we usually put him down for a nap about 2pm, but he doesn't always sleep. When he DOES sleep, he sleeps for an hour, comes downstairs, and sleeps for another hour or two on us. His bedtime is 9pm. Any advice?

---

So yes. We love him to pieces, but now I'm worried I've really gone and messed things up. I've been more worried about his lack of talking (Now we can't shut him up
), his lack of using the sippy cup (then his lack of milk drinking), etc. For a long time we worried he wasn't eating enough, so when I found stuff he WOULD eat... I clung to it. That's how we got to what we have... three unchanging meals a day... for months. But my friend says it's all junk food (and a lot of it is, now), and my mother went nuts about him not using a plate tonight.

Bad timing, too. I can't handle it with grace today, and I don't know how to change any of it- so here I am, unable to sleep and almost sick. Honestly, I feel rotten- I worry that I'm not doing good by him, and sometimes wonder if he'd do better elsewhere- which tears me up. Some of it's the money - affording clothes and food and diapers and the like is sometimes hard. Some of it's just "Am I doing things right? Have I screwed up- and thus, screwed him up?" ... honestly, I'm scared to death I HAVE screwed up- he's getting a lil bit chubby now, instead of being very skinny.
 

Sonya

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I am not a parent but just wanted to say that you need to stop beating yourself up about all of this!

Every child is different and there are no set rules...many children take a very long time to potty train. My friend has twins, they are about 2 1/2 now, they have a terrible time with food....they just don't want to eat period. And if they do eat, it is very slow. They are very thin...not unhealthy thin, but thinner than most 2 yr olds. All children are different.

I'm sure you'll get some great advice on how to help his eating habits....now stop beating yourself up!
 

AppyLover2

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There was a Dr. Phil show not long ago about bad eating habits in kids. His advice was something to the effect that if all he'll eat is junk food....quit giving it to him and he'll learn to eat other things. Easier said than done, I know, but probably good advice. Point out that mommy and daddy aren't eating peanut butter crackers and chips and encourage him to try other things. Hang in there....all parents are afraid, at one time or another, that they're screwing their kids lives up....and they tend to survive in spite of us.
 

kaykay

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I think honestly you have just given in way too much. Its been proven over and over that children do best with firm boundries. Even young children. (speaking as a mother of 4)

First the food. You make him lunch and if he doesnt eat it he doesnt eat it. Period. Do not make special things just for him. This sets up a really bad pattern. Believe me he will get hungry and start eating whats in front of him. I never force a child to eat anything but I never give in and make something just for them. I would get on this asap as living on peanut butter is not at all a healthy diet. Raising 4 children theres no way I could cater to one child like that. I know since you only have one its easier to slip into but I would stop it right now. Eat with him. We have a rule here and my kids left at home are now 16 and 18. We eat as a family with everyone sitting at the dinner table all at the same time. NO tv or phone ever. My kids friends love to come eat here and are constantly amazed that we eat as a family.

YES he needs to eat with plates, forks etc!! Ours started with a spoon and plate as soon as they could hold one.

I do think naps are important and all of mine took naps until 1st grade. Again you have to have a schedule and stick to it. Kids do so much better this way when they know what to expect. I never told them they had to sleep but they would lay down for an hour and rest. Invariably they fell asleep
 

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Im so sorry you are feeling this way but believe me all parents go through this at some point its called parenting and kids dont come with a service manual like appliances.

I had a picky eater too and I did offer things like fruits and veggies at Nathans age it was a matter of wanting things she could eat with her fingers. So peeled grapes and dried bananna slices and cherrios small pieces of hard cheese and things that could be picked up and eaten became her salvation chips and junky things were replaced with healthy things . I remember give her pieces of raw vegetables in little cups put around the house so she could pick at them when she wanted. She really didnt eat like a regular person until she went to Headstart at 3 then we had to set the table and use napkins etc like they did at school no more bad habits by us either. Plates and utensils and napkins no more sitting in front of the TV during meals.

Then we made a game of trying new things if she tried a mouthful of something new she earned a mouthful of something she liked. That said she is 35 now and still pretty much eats what she wants and wont touch things she doesnt. So far she has survived. My baby doctor told me dont worry if you take away the bad stuff she will eat the good stuff and sure enough she did. As Applover said they grow up despite us and we never know until they are grown with kids of their own if we did a decent job or not.
 

sfmini

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First off, I am not a parent, but I do read and observe.

Your little angel is a little dictator and is in total control of you. That needs to change, and he isn't going to be happy at first but you need to stick to your guns.

If the junk isn't there, he won't eat it, and I doubt he will starve himself to death refusing food. He may go hungry a meal or two, but it won't kill him, as long as he isn't diabetic.

Now is the time to build healthy eating habits, not later, and you are not doing him any favors by allowing him to run things this way. You WILL be doing him a GREAT favor by teaching him to eat right.

I have heard it said that kids need to eat something 10 - 12 times before they develop a taste for it.

Good luck, stick to your guns and you will be so glad you did!
 

Marty

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Hey Mom, You're quite the pushover but its never too late to fix things so don't worry and don't cry.

I haven't met the perfect mother yet. I always say moms don't come with instructions and it's true.

Moms make lots of mistakes and doesn't mean we are bad or ruining our kids. One thing I learned is that moms are not always popular with their kids. You really need some boundries there. Part of being a mom is saying "NO" and being consistant. You can't allow somethings one day, and then another time put your foot down. BE CONSISTANT. If he gets mad at you...let him get mad. But you are the mom, the boss, the teacher and that is your job. I would highly suggest you start watching SUPER NANNY . Where was she when I needed her????? She's wonderful. I was a worse pushover than you till I figured out one day my kids were running me instead of the other way around.

The first thing I would do is stop him throwing that food on the floor immediately. That is so

way out of line. What in heck is up with that? Come on, you know that is not right.Set a new goal for you and Nathan each day. Make him stop doing that today. He has to use his plate and utensils. No negotiaing on throwing food or plates on the floor.

The rest is simple and a no brainer. If you don't want him to eat junk, don't buy it and don't feed it to him. If it is not there, it's not there. You put on the table what he is supposed to eat and if he doesn't, he doesn't. This is not hard. You will be surprised how fast he learns to eat what you serve. A CHILD WILL NEVER STARVE HIMSELF. Try cutting up some carrots, cucumbers, celery,and put out a little dish of dip he can use to dip if he wants. Kids like to dip. That being said of course we had our share of junk

food but moderately. I let them fill up on good healthy food and snacks first and then they are

full and don't really want the junk food. If you eat your dinner, then you get a nice desert. But

no dinner, no desert.

The potty training is just being consistant again. Mine were potty trained very early on like way before 2, and in pull ups at night. Potty training is easier than you think. Don't let him drink before bed. Offer just a sip if you have to. We did youth beds at about 2 years I think and had those bars you stick under the mattress.

Look, you are not being a bad mother. Please don't think that. Don't cry, you are not ruining your son so dry it up and smile that you are lucky enough to have him. If it makes you feel any better I will confess that Dan still won't eat the crust off of his bread to this day and that's a fact.
Mothers are human too!
 

RainSong

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It's pretty ironic in a way. I'm a real hard case in other areas- where he's allowed to go (NOT in the garage), what he can't do when he gets mad (NO hitting. >.<), and other things. Yeah- he's an angel AND a devil, all rolled into one.

But the food one- that was his from the get go. We were always worried he wasn't eating enough, and we were told "He'll eat what he needs". PFfff. That's how we got here! He does use utensils- forks, spoons, toddler knives that look like mini rowboat paddles. Just not plates and bowls. We're starting on the plates and bowls.

I could go on and on explaining, but ... really, it doesn't help and comes across as excuses. Some things can't be changed while we live here (like Grandma's candy stashes and giving him candy/chips whenever she has them), but I'll change what I can otherwise.

You know, he's been getting in trouble for throwing food on the floor since he started feeding himself. You'd think he'd have stopped by now :DOH! I know part of it is watching Harmony go nuts to get whatever he dropped- I wish there were a way to lock her outside while he (heck, while any of us) eats.

How do you get them to make the connection between "it's a potty" and "this is what you do in a potty"? I've got the potty in the downstairs bathroom, but he bathes upstairs- my mother says to put him on the potty before his baths. But... then it would be upstairs and harder to get to?


Look, you are not being a bad mother. Please don't think that. Don't cry, you are not ruining your son so dry it up and smile that you are lucky enough to have him. If it makes you feel any better I will confess that Dan still won't eat the crust off of his bread to this day and that's a fact.
Mothers are human too!
Can you love a toddler into ruination? LOL We are lucky, honestly. I always feel bad posting these things; I hate to remind you of Michael. Truth be told, there's been more then one night I've laid there thinking about you and Michael and wanted nothing more then to pick Nathan up and pull him into bed and keep him close. I didn't, because then we'd have problems with him always wanting into the big bed, but still. I do wish I could share Nathan with you.

Hey now. If Dan still won't eat the crust off his bread, I feel a little better
 
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Jetiki

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My kids are 2 and 4, for a while my youngest decided she didn't want to eat much of a variety of foods and my son who's 4 has an issue with the addatives in food so when we went to almost all organic it was a drastic change to my daughter with her food choices. We never did a whole lot of real junk food, and I still don't. But we would do macaroni a good bit, we wouldn't have quite as many veggies as we do now etc. I do my best to make the best food I can for them. Sometimes its hard but stick to it and you can accomplish it. My kids know that if they don't eat due to stubboness they'll get it back for the next meal, regardless if its breakfast or lunch etc. They have learned that momma don't play and its easier on them just to eat it the first time. My hardest thing right now is finding treats that my kids can have. Its been a long road and it will be a long road for you, but remember you are doing it for the health of your child and that it will pay off in the long run. You just have to be strong and make the best decisions you can for your family. My son made his daycare teacher cry just before easter, she was putting candy in the easter baskets for the kids in the class and he looked at her said please don't give me any I can't have it. He knows what it does to him and he doesn't like it so he doesn't eat things like that. So hang in there, it will take time but you can do it.


Karen
 

Marty

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Can you love a toddler into ruination? LOL

You have no idea how I adored and worshipped Michael every minute of every day I couldn't get enough of him. Dan comes along and makes my perfect world more perfect. Love them into ruination? Sure I did....just temporary of course


I always feel bad posting these things; I hate to remind you of Michael.

Don't EVER feel like that. I love hearing about babies! The good, the bad, and the vomit......
 

hobbyhorse23

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RainSong said:
Yeah- he's an angel AND a devil, all rolled into one.
Yep, sounds like a typical little boy to me!


But the food one- that was his from the get go. We were always worried he wasn't eating enough, and we were told "He'll eat what he needs". PFfff. That's how we got here!
I was quite possibly the world's pickiest eater as a child and I remember very distinctly how completely dedicated I was to rejecting the "icky" foods. Mama had a rule at my house- I had to try every food once. If after I tried it I didn't like it I didn't have to eat it, but I had to try it. And I was given choices just like getting dressed in the morning. It wasn't "What do you want to eat?" It was "Do you want corn or broccoli tonight?" Give him an age-appropriate choice and let there be consequences to every decision. He gets this veggie or that veggie, and if he absolutely refuses to eat either one then he has to give up something else he wants like dessert or a bedtime story or something similar. This isn't intended as punishment and you sure as heck don't get mad, but you let him know at the beginning that he has a choice and if he makes the choice to not eat one of the options you've given him then he's going to have to accept what comes of that. It's HIS power, HIS choice, and he can't get mad at Mama for something he chose for himself.

One thing I've very grateful my mother never did is insist that I clean my plate. I think it's very unhealthy as it teaches the child to ignore their body's messages of fullness and can lead to real problems in the future. I'll have to ask her how she taught me because however she did it, it worked! *LOL* My body tells me clearly when it's hungry, I find myself craving foods that my dr tells me later are exactly what I should be eating for my hypoglycemia, and I stop eating when I'm full. Lord knows I was a picky eater and still am but I have grown up to eat foods I didn't as a child and I can tell you I did grow out of the worst of my stages none the worse for wear.


How do you get them to make the connection between "it's a potty" and "this is what you do in a potty"?
I don't have any experience with kids but I know with potty-training puppies it's a matter of noticing when they're getting squirmy or giving signs they need to go and getting them to the right place, then rewarding them. Does he stay in the bathroom when you're using the facilities? You said he knows about going "poopoo" and "peepee" so maybe make casual reference to what you're doing on the potty so he gets the idea in his head that big boys and big girls do those things on the potty? Every kid is different and they'll be ready for potty training when they're ready and not before, but from what I understand most kids eventually decide they want to be like Mommy and Daddy and will decide to try it.

Sorry I'm not more help but I hate seeing you worrying this way and thought I'd contribute what little I could. I haven't been privileged to raise kids yet but I admire the way my parents did it and am good with stubborn or difficult animals who really aren't that different when you get right down to it.


You can do this! The most important thing is that you love him and care what is best for him, and that he knows he can count on you to be there for him. Sometimes that means setting limits so he can feel secure.

Leia
 

Marty

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OK so lets potty train Nathan for good this week. This is how I did my boys.

First thing you need to do is start talking and explaining it to Nathan all over again. But this time, get his atttention. You have to get him very excited about it. Begin with getting the diapers gone and out of sight. Tell him he is a big boy now and the diapers are gone and he needs underwear now.

Plan a trip to the store and buy fun underwear and off comes the diapers FOR GOOD and they are GONE period. We made a big deal about buying underwear and bought funs ones they picked out with spider man and batman. We celebrated buying underwear and sang songs about it all the way home and boy they felt so great in underwear. And we talked about how bad it would feel to get them wet or stinky so they would realize the difference in having a wreck in underwear in comparrison to diapers.

Next I make the potty very easy accessable. For that I used a stool for them to step up on so reaching the potty would be easier for them to get to. He will want to climb up on it himself most likely without your help. I used the kind of seat that just hooks onto the regular toilet seat. We went to the store together and made a big thing about buying it and had a celebration about buying it.....I let Michael pick it out. Geesh. Then we sang songs about it on the way home.......geesh again. Then we practiced sitting on it and made it a really big deal and FUN! We made up tons of songs about getting to sit on the potty like it was a very special thing. I'd just get in there and sit on the edge of the bathtub with them and sing away and discuss every single plop like it was the best thing ever.These kids couldn't wait to get on there and take a dump. And boy did we have applause every single time! Then they got to flush and yes we had songs about that too. Pee songs and poop songs oh my gosh we had a million of them. Then we called Grandma and Daddy at work every single time and told them every last detail. Then we told the dogs and the cat and the fish and the bird and went outside and told the bugs. Oh heck yea. Every single time. You will find that celebrations work pretty good.

Now when we had an accident in our underwear we had a very low keyed morbid song for that "yukky poo" or some such thing and made a big deal about how messy that was and made ugly faces about it and believe me, once they have an accident in underwear after using the potty, they do not like it and are more careful. The thing here is, don't ask him if he has to go. Kids get way too busy playing and forget. You just keep taking him in there a bunch of times and oh, do bring him a book with pictures to look at or something. And don't forget to make up a bunch of fun poopy songs. He'll be trained in a few days. Do not get lazy on your part either. Keep him moving and do not resort to diapers anymore just because you may be in a rush to get some place or do something. Be consistant. When you take him into a store head right to the bathroom in there first and maybe before you leave too.

No food after a certain time in the evening and no drinking before bed. Use pullups at night time. You will be running back and forth like crazy for a while now worse than ever. Happy running and don't forget those fun songs and celbrations. And no more diapers!

PS YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOTHER NOW QUIT THAT STUFF!
 
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CKC

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Please don't beat yourself up. You are not a bad Mom and will come to realize a lot of this is normal testing behavior. I have been through this. Even with the food throwing over the edge of the high chair. My son went through a stage of only eating certain foods, but he would always eat fruits and veggies and LOVES steak. So everything we give him has something called Steak in it.... ie( Chicken... is called chicken steak)..... If you called it just chicken he would not eat it. Now he eats it fine.

One of the things we did was give two choices...... you either get this or this(or ask him what you like x or z tonight)... make them good food choices.. Let him make his own decision. IE: If you are having veggies and chicken. Let him pick which one or both. We found our son loved making decisions. Eventually, they just made it on the plate and he never argued again except, when we tried to give a taco bell kids meal. It had refried beans in it which I didn't realize. I have to say that makes me gag as well. So we had a backup meal that night.

It's just discovering whatever works for you.

As for potty training we got one of those potty seats with the ladder attached for #2's and we have a little stool he can push around to stand on for #1's. We did start with a potty chair that sits on the floor, but I think I will avoid that with my second son as it was too hard to get him to move to the big potty. Daddy finally had to step in to help and show him the way(if you know what I mean). That helped a lot as well When we first started I used 1 m & m (he doesn't get any candy so this was a major deal) that he would get to pick out of a jar. We made a big deal out of not only the candy, but the color and then we graduated to stickers for each potty time. He started preschool this year and seeing the other kids helped him a lot. Right now I'm dealing with jealousy issues with my 3 1/2 year and 1 year old now. I had my oldest potty trained and he has now started having #1 accidents. It took a long time to get him to finally start being consistent. We think he's having accidents as a means of getting extra attention. Key now is you have to really watch the subtle signs and catch him before he tries to have an accident because he won't go if you just take him and will not tell you when he's gone. Another thing that helped him is we put him in preschool this year.

May I make a suggestion as this was suggested to me a couple of weeks ago and it works!

Get the book 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas W. Phelan Ph.D.

My son is counted now(1-2-3) when he is doing something he isn't supposed to (you can't use the counting when you want them to do something(ie:clean their room). There's a seperate part to the book on that(which I'm just starting to read), but the counting works amazing well. The deal is your child learns there is a consequence if you get to 3. AND when you get to 3 your child goes straight to a time out spot(can be anywhere) and you say nothing a minute for each age. You don't talk to him.. nothing. You just put them there. They can't stand that part. That's the key. I was so guilty of doing the time out before, but we would have a small war over words and that was getting us nowhere. They really do not like the fact they aren't getting you all worked up. You just get them to the spot and walk away. It's a miracle in my house. The book makes a lot of sense and I would never have believed it until I saw the results. Key- my husband and now my Mom and his daycare use this now with him(consistency). My son will still test to 1 sometimes 2, but rarely a 3 anymore. He is a tester. The book says the "tester child" may take a few weeks to get it, but man is it good. I even used it in public and it worked(I suggest having a good handle on it before you move to the public stage because they KNOW when the right time to test is).

The only reason I told you about the counting is if your son is testing you with the food there is a good chance he will test you on more that just that and this works really well with no arguing(which I love). I also, think the "praise" section may work for getting him to do some of the things you want him to do without a lot of fight. I just feel like a weight has been lifted.

You're a good Mom! You asked for advice! That says a lot in my book!

Kim
 
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RainSong

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Thank you, all of you. I knew you'd be able to help me- even if it was to tell me I'm not absolutely insane! While I'm mulling over the hows and whens of what's been said about potty training...

NAPS. We are very set on his nap times. Wakeup is a little less so though we've been more consistant lately. Bedtimes ... he stays up once in a while, usually no more then an hour late and that's maybe once or twice a month.

But he won't nap! Ok, he will when he gets really tired from not napping for several days, but otherwise he sits up there and talks and makes noise. Later on, he becomes cranky and whiny and oh-so-wonderfully tantrum laden. When he throws a tantrum for the most part we ignore him, but it is tiresome to have him going ballistic over every little thing.

Maybe we should take to reading him a book before nap time, too, like we've recently done for bedtime? He adores "Goodnight Moon", and sometimes "The Velveteen Rabbit".
 

sfmini

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I am with the others, you sound like a great mom to me. The fact that you are asking for help, and beating yourself up, sounds normal to me.

I was a non napper too, so bad my mom would put me in my crib and go next door so she didn't have to listen to me scream bloody murder.

I used to really foil their plans when they went to the drive in movies, my older brother never made it past the cartoons, I was wide awake and watching until the bitter end.

Good luck, just keep at it, and listen to Marty! She sounds like super mom to me.

LOL at the poopy songs!
 

Jetiki

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We call it quite time, not nap time. My son has to stay in his room and quiet, no screaming, running etc, if he wants to talk to himself or play quietly with a toy or two its ok, but the key word is quiet, usually he goes to sleep but sometimes he doesn't and thats ok, he ends up going to bed a little early on those days. My kids go to bed around 8pm give or take about 30 mins. The quiet time is there for him to have a break and relax and give mommy a break I do this usually after lunch, unless they are behaving super bad then its earlier. I usually give him an hour if he's not a asleep we go outside or do something if he's asleep then I let him sleep.

Maybe try just a different approach to it.

Karen
 

wade3504

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I don't have children that live with me, but on any given day Monday through Friday I have between 8 and 12 two year olds


As far as the eating goes, all the children have a lunch that is made by the school (cooked main course, vegetable side, and milk). They start off by eating and then the milk is added later. If they don't eat and drink their milk then there is no dessert (pudding every other day or fruit). They use utensils, plates, bowls, etc. and yes we even serve soup. If they play with utensils, bowls, plates, etc. then they are taken away. They also use cups, no sippy cups, and this is what their dessert goes in. If they don't drink it or purposely spill it then the cup is taken away, therefore, no dessert.

Children love to learn from and mimic the adults. They've practiced doing what adults do. If the child dumps or throws food on the floor or across the table then they help clean it up. We have towels that they must go and get and start the cleanup process. No, they aren't going to get it all and there is follow up by an adult, but they must help. They clean up their utensils, plates, napkins themselves.

You have to be firm. Once you set something up don't go back and change it. I had a child that screamed for two and a half hours last week because he didn't want to do something he was told to. He was asked to sit "criss cross applesauce" on the carpet or would not be called to go to what we call work (play). He decided he wasn't going to so he had to sit in the quiet corner and screamed. He tried to move elsewhere to scream and he was put back in the quite corner on some pillows. Finally he quieted and sat criss cross so he got to go outside that he ended up missing the majority of and when he went outside he started pushing other children to get into the cars they were driving. He was warned not to and continued doing it, so was taken back inside screaming some more. He chose to miss snack. After snack I told him if he could sit criss cross he could join his friends in doing their work and he sat up did what he was told and was fine for the rest of the day. The following day, he chose not to do as instructed again which again was criss cross. He sat quietly in the quiet corner for 40 minutes, came out onto the carpet and sat criss cross. From that day on we've not had to do that again.

Potty training needs to be done in underwear and needs to be done often as Marty said and maybe others I didn't read all of them. There will be accidents but once they start do not put them back in a diaper. We had that happen as well. A child started coming to school in underwear as he had been trained. He had two accidents and they decided he was going back in a diaper the following day and the child proceeded to go all day in his diaper. We sent a note home saying he was potty trained and not to send him in diapers again. Folloing day he came in underwear and not once did he go in them. When they do have accidents let them take the wet clothes off. That is not a pleasant experience nor is feeling it when they go in the underwear.

Naptime they don't have to sleep, but they do have to lie down and quietly. I had one that refused to stay down. It took time and repeatedly taking him back to his mat and sitting with him but he now sleeps. There are still days when he challenges it, but you have to be firm and consistent, and set pattern.

Some people may think this extremely harsh and too much for a two year old, but it isn't. My assistant is the grandmotherly type (has grandchildren and in her 60's) I ended up in the hospital for two weeks and while gone she was in charge. Things were changed (to how she thought they should be) and none of them were happy. They all wanted Miss Amanda and wanted to know when I was coming back. Two days after coming back we were back into the regular routine and things calmed down again.

So, be consistent, be firm, and don't give in. You said he doesn't have any peers to learn from and that's not a problem. He learns from you. It can get overwhelming, believe me that 2 1/2 hours of screaming I was ready to run screaming from the building and was so happy I had hair left in my head after that, but it can be done. One major thing is LOTS OF PATIENCE.


Amanda
 
E

Elsa

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I haven't read all the replies, so some of this might be repetition.

As far as the food goes, don’t give in. Give him healthy stuff and a tiny bit of something he likes. If he wants more, he has to finish the other stuff first. Throwing things on the floor is a big no no and warrants taking the food away until he can show you that he can treat you and the food/plates/whatever with respect.

The potty training takes longer for some kids. When he looks like he’s about to go, get him to the potty quick. Sooner or later he’ll make the connection that this is where we go when we need to potty. Ask if he wants to try to use it a lot. Also, make it something he wants to do. At the daycare I worked at, we would give them stickers when they used to potty.

Another routine they had at the daycare is naptime. Two hours for kids ages 1,5 to 4. It took some kids half an hr to fall asleep, and some days, they don’t sleep at all. Either way, at naptime they have to lay quietly, possibly with a book (toys are too distracting). Regardless of when he falls asleep, after the two hr mark of when you put him down, he has to wake up. This creates a consistent schedule.

Good luck. Be consistent. He'll learn
 

Marty

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I love this thread and all the other experiences. Gee whiz I need a baby!

Amanda, that was great!

I am hoping VickyTexas will show up too. She's a care giver at a day care center

and she has incredible stories to pass on.

Ok here's another little tip about the potty training. I heard one time from Dr. Brazelton

that he says sometimes kids seem to hate to "give up their poop" and let it go
Dang that was weird. But anyhow, after the deed was

done, Michael used to look and say "I made a spider one" and "I made a butterfly one" and sometimes go into this great details.........oh man that was so funny but hey, whatever works you know?

As far as nap time. Oh yes, that was a must have for my sake~

Playing outside in fresh air will wear a kid out real good and he will be more than

ready for nap time. Just let him out to be a boy and run and swim and play his brains out.

Be sure before nap time Nathan is winding down and not all still keyed up from playing.

Keep any thing that is a stimulant away from him such as soda or candy, and let him

settle himself down first before you put him in for his nap. Make sure his favorite stuffed

toy or somebody he loves is waiting for his nap too, his teddy bear or whatever and make

it more about the teddy bear needing a nap than him. Dang I tell you girlfriend, sometimes

you got to really get creative and do things a little bit nuts or out of the box, whatever works

for you, use it.
 

wade3504

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Just wanted to add, since you have a boy, you can start the potty training by trying to get him to sink the cheerios. Put a few in the toilet and have him stand there like an adult would -again mimicing an adult-and to sink them he must pee then he gets to flush. I started this with my nephew and gradually the cheerios aren't needed anymore.

One thing I've learned while potty training at school is just the fact that if they go potty they get to flush the toilet and if not they don't-Something so simple to us yet huge to them.

I'm on Spring Break this week. It can be so hard going back as they've been off routine for a week and not happy about being home. I do love my job though as it is never boring and I have great job security as nobody wants the two year old room.

Amanda
 

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