Good morning all.....Thanks to everyone who gave advice on this post. I had a good nights sleep and a somewhat clearer head this am. Let me clarify my job/employers...I work at a partnership of 4 clinicians. 2 females ( LCSW-RMT and LMFT, Ph.D.) and 2 males (LADC, and BS/CADC). I am the Office Manager. Three of them are wonderful to me and the secretary. The LADC is the one who I am at odds with. Both males are avid hunters. The CADC is a kind and caring man. The LADC is cruel with his words and means to cut you with them, and if you call him on it he says I was only kidding. The other partners have had several meetings with him about the way he says things, and tell him his words are uncalled for and hurtful. And he will do better for a few months then start again. It don't matter what the subject is, if it is a sore spot to you, he will pick at you like a scab till you bleed. When it comes to animals especially, he is heartless. He told me last Thur. I should re-name my ranch to "Kill'em Ranch"... I told him to please not go there, and I left the room. He has cattle and he is always comparing my horses to his cattle. To him it is survial of the fittest. Nurture the strong and the weak will die out. He could not believe that we would spend the money to have Dreamers surgey. What he told me was "A bullet is cheaper than a sleeper"! I said nothing, just gave him a look. The one boss who saw me on cam scrubbing the barn most of the night was the Ph.D. She is the one who emailed/called and said to take the day off and get some rest. And he "usually" does not say hurtful/cruel things in front of the partners, but there has been times that he has and they call him on it. As an employer, as far as I am concerned he was out of line. When I told him that was uncalled for, he should have backed off and let it alone, but he did not. He came right back with a "re-phrase" and THEN when I got upset he told me to get a sence of humor! Again, uncalled for. IF he don't like the time off that the sec and I have had for family reasons, then he should tell us! I am on salary, and I NEVER pay myself for family time off. He has NEVER once said anything about me being out with Dreamer. I am in meetings with them at least once a week and I thank them for their understanding and patience with my horses. They tell me to do what ever I need with my horses.
I got 2 calls last night from 2 of the partners, the sec. called one of them after I left and told what happened. They were appauled to say the least. They both said that they would understand if I did not come back, but to please come in on Monday so we can all sit down and talk about this. As I told them I truely need this job, and work is hard to come by here. I know that there is nothing that can be "done" with him. He is a full partner. And I don't expect that. He needs to get an understanding of what being a BOSS/EMPLOYER is, and not to continually pick at, cross or even step on the line, and think it is OK because he said I was only joking. No matter how he feels about animals or other things, that is his opinion, and he IS entitled to that...But he needs to keep those opinions to himself unless he is asked...(My personal life is none of his business, BUT, as my employer, if he did'nt like the 3 days off I had with Dreamer, Fri, Mon, Tue. he should have said something) Animals and other things are important to other people, and he should respect that. His way of thinking is not EVERYONES way of thinking. My animals are taken care of to the BEST of our ability. We put our hearts and guts into each and everyone. I am not to good to say I am sorry for calling him a Heartless M%$#!!@#$%^,,,,, and a few other things, whether I stay or not. I should not have said those things, being in the professional business that I am in, it was uncalled for and very unprofessional of me and I will apologize for it.. I am willing to work this out with him, but he, as an employer, is going to have to respect his employees and their personal decisions/emotions/opinions.
Jill, I have no intentions of going in Mon. with a chip when I talk with the partners. Nor do I expect an apology from him. But what I do expect from him is to keep HIS "sence of humor/opinions" to himself. Just because he EMPLOYS me and the sec. does not give him the RIGHT to do or say the things he does to us. He IS aware that the things he says are hurtful and wrong but, he has the ATTITUDE that since he is the BOSS he can say or do whatever he wants. Just because he is the boss, does not make it right.