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I may have gottedn fired from my job today

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rockin r

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Tis afternnoon one of my bosses was tell me and the seccretary to have agoos weekend, all was fikne. Then he told me ...bear with me as I am cring and once angaain shakking uncomtrolably.."Try not to kill any of your horrses this wekend" when I told himm that was uncalleed for he said let me refrase thatt..."tell yourr horses not to killl themselves this weekkend" I went offf on him. And walkked out.I am a christiann woman and the words that camee out of my mouth are nott repetable! HE KNOEWS THAT I AM ON MEDDICATION FOR WHAT HASS HAPENED HERE THE LAST 6 WEEKKS. He thoughht he was being funy. Idont even remember the 33 milee drivve home..I need that job. but i cannt go back..what am I gooing to tel aRT?? I am jsut sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo done...
 

Marty

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Teresa that was a lousy thing for the jerk to say. A complete cheap shot.

Anyone that has been through what you have would have done the same thing and then some.

Try to calm yourself down.

I am so not kidding when I tell people to have a nice cup of herbal tea.

That really does help.

Trust me I know.

I'll talk to you later.((((( )))))
 

Maxi'sMinis

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Art will not judge you. You are right in your feelings about what was said. I think I would feel the same about going back too. Prayers everything will be ok for you. Your a good person and God will be with you.

I agree you need to go into work Monday. It will be a tough one. Maybe even call your boss and speak with him before to much time goes by. I bet he feels sorry for say what he said.
 
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Jill

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I really do not think he meant to be hurtful. We've all said things that didn't come out the way we meant them to. His choice of words was bad but not intentionally mean.

You'd mentioned before how understanding the job has been and let you have time to tend to the sick horses, etc., and once that your boss and seen you on camera dealing with things and I think told you to take the next day off?

I'm an employer and I try to be very considerate and understanding to my employees. If I'd been giving one of my assistants time off to deal with family type things and then she went off on me because I accidently said something wrong... it wouldn't be good and would go over w/me like a ton of bricks.
 
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R3

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Try to calm down for now. You will see things a little clearer when you are feeling less upset.

Unless you want to give up your job, it doesn't sound like you have been fired yet, and that you can go back, if you want to. One blow-up on your part, considering the pressures you have been under, and considering his remarks, shouldn't be enough for you to lose your job over.

If you still want the job, it would probably be a good idea to go into work on Monday and as the first thing you do, apologize to the boss about what you said. It might be hard to do, since his words were callous, but is it worth losing a job over?

Or, you might just go in and see what happens, see if it has blown over, or if you need to address it.

Maybe, he will even be the one to come up to you and apologize for being a jerk. He might not have realized how much of a sensitive subject he was dealing with, and he may now feel bad about what he said.

I hope things work out for you, whatever way you want to go with it.

PS - If you have a civil service job, you do have appeal rights if he tries to fire you, and you can fight it with a good chance of winning and keeping your job.
 

REO

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I agree with some of the others.

That being said. What he said (in MY opinion) was UNCALLED for! I can't imagine that he meant that in any nice or friendly way. He knows what you've gone through and your frame of mind through it all.

Instead of saying it again with different wording, he should have apologized.

People who are not animal people don't understand that our horses, dogs, cats, etc ARE OUR BABIES.

They just don't get it.

I would write a note apologizing for blowing up and using bad language, then explained WHY I had blown up over what he said. Explain that your horses are like your children and his saying that was VERY painful to you. And I'd say I hope we can smooth this over and go on with better understanding of each other. I KNOW it would be very hard to do, but it's your job on the line.

I'm here if you need me Theresa. {{{{Hugs}}}}
 

Dairygirl

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he sounds like my father. Can have a heart of gold but can stick his foot in his mouth big time. Mostly showing out to others I work with. I hate that crap and like you it hurts because it seems like it always comes when you are at the end of your rope.

Since my husband left for Iraq I cry at the drop of a hat most days. So where I use to stand up and fight when some one hurt me now I stand up fight and cry.

So don't feel bad. We all understand. Stay strong. Your husband will understand. Mine always does.
 

Bonny

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Theresa, that was a very insensitive thing he said to you. I can understand the shock you must have felt when those words were uttered.

I agree, go in Monday and try to explain the situation and hopefully yall can settle this.

Sending hugs.
 

minimomNC

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I bet he feels very bad for making you cry, and non horse people just don't understand. Give him a chance to apologize to, then make him beg you to stay.
 

Baydreamfarms

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I feel so bad for you! What he said was def uncalled for and you have every right to be upset. I know how bad nerves can get, I have to take medication for mine. Take a nice warm bath, mull over the thoughts in your head, write down how they made you feel. Never discount your feelings and never feel bad for following your heart and saying how you feel. If he was being as good as I have read about the past instances he probably feels as bad if not worse for what he said.

I too would go back in on Monday, but I would def be medicated to say the least. I hate confrontation, but this situation def calls for a meeting with the boss to make sure he knows how it hurt you and to be the bigger person and try to maybe apologize for what you said. The apology is solely up to you, if it a good paying job that helps with the expenses with the horses it may be worth it.

I am so sorry for what just happened, I hope over the weekend things calm down and you are able to process your thoughts and figure out what is best for you. You will be in my thoughts as Monday approaches.
 

dreaminmini

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I agree with the others. I was definitely uncalled for and hurtful what he said to you! I would have gone off on him too! Since he seemed to have been a decent boss with you before I'd give him a second chance. Is he one of those guys that seems to stick his foot in it or tries to kid around and not many people get it? I'd go and apologize for blowing up and tell him how it made you feel. He prob does feel bad and you may end up hearing from him to apologize before the weekend is over. If not, good luck come Monday. Try and let those thoughts go for now and take a cup of tea and go sit with your babies
I know that would def calm me down.
 

CyndiM

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Nothing to add you've already gotten good advise. So here's some ((((HUGS)))) to help you feel better.
 

Mona

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I too hope that you will go back to work on Monday as you always do, and that you and your boss will be able to discuss what happened there today, and work it all out between yourselves. Good Luck!
 

Jill

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Because it might save your job, I'm chiming in again with what may be an unpopular opinion, but again, I am an employer so that is my perspective on this situation.

If the same happened with me in your boss' shoes and my employee came in on Monday with a chip on her shoulder waiting for me to apologize, she'd have something else to be angry at me for (fired). Don't get to feeling all self righteous with people patting you on the back and telling you he should or might apologize. Great if he does, but don't act like he owes it to you.

He may not always be right BUT he is always the boss.

Really just sounds like he tripped over his words and that your job has been a lot more understanding than many other employers could be about time to tend to the horse issues.

Good luck.
 

Sonya

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I agree with Jill. Jobs are way too hard to come by today. If I was you I'd go in on Monday and you apologize calmly and just tell him you were under alot of stress and you know he was just kidding around. Chances are he will also apologize and say he was just joking. I know a very dry sense of humor and not a funny comment, but some people just don't understand the love we all here have for animals. I can sure you from the other things you've said about him, that he did not mean it to be hurtful. Hang in there! ((hugs))
 

Joanne

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Actually if you know your bosses phone number I would contact him over the weekend and not let this fester.

It would be better to go in Monday knowing it was behind you and having talked this out.

The longer you wait the more steam gets built up on both sides.

Good luck and hoping you keep all your animal friends online posted with the outcome. We would hate for you to loose your job over this.
 

rockin r

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Good morning all.....Thanks to everyone who gave advice on this post. I had a good nights sleep and a somewhat clearer head this am. Let me clarify my job/employers...I work at a partnership of 4 clinicians. 2 females ( LCSW-RMT and LMFT, Ph.D.) and 2 males (LADC, and BS/CADC). I am the Office Manager. Three of them are wonderful to me and the secretary. The LADC is the one who I am at odds with. Both males are avid hunters. The CADC is a kind and caring man. The LADC is cruel with his words and means to cut you with them, and if you call him on it he says I was only kidding. The other partners have had several meetings with him about the way he says things, and tell him his words are uncalled for and hurtful. And he will do better for a few months then start again. It don't matter what the subject is, if it is a sore spot to you, he will pick at you like a scab till you bleed. When it comes to animals especially, he is heartless. He told me last Thur. I should re-name my ranch to "Kill'em Ranch"... I told him to please not go there, and I left the room. He has cattle and he is always comparing my horses to his cattle. To him it is survial of the fittest. Nurture the strong and the weak will die out. He could not believe that we would spend the money to have Dreamers surgey. What he told me was "A bullet is cheaper than a sleeper"! I said nothing, just gave him a look. The one boss who saw me on cam scrubbing the barn most of the night was the Ph.D. She is the one who emailed/called and said to take the day off and get some rest. And he "usually" does not say hurtful/cruel things in front of the partners, but there has been times that he has and they call him on it. As an employer, as far as I am concerned he was out of line. When I told him that was uncalled for, he should have backed off and let it alone, but he did not. He came right back with a "re-phrase" and THEN when I got upset he told me to get a sence of humor! Again, uncalled for. IF he don't like the time off that the sec and I have had for family reasons, then he should tell us! I am on salary, and I NEVER pay myself for family time off. He has NEVER once said anything about me being out with Dreamer. I am in meetings with them at least once a week and I thank them for their understanding and patience with my horses. They tell me to do what ever I need with my horses.

I got 2 calls last night from 2 of the partners, the sec. called one of them after I left and told what happened. They were appauled to say the least. They both said that they would understand if I did not come back, but to please come in on Monday so we can all sit down and talk about this. As I told them I truely need this job, and work is hard to come by here. I know that there is nothing that can be "done" with him. He is a full partner. And I don't expect that. He needs to get an understanding of what being a BOSS/EMPLOYER is, and not to continually pick at, cross or even step on the line, and think it is OK because he said I was only joking. No matter how he feels about animals or other things, that is his opinion, and he IS entitled to that...But he needs to keep those opinions to himself unless he is asked...(My personal life is none of his business, BUT, as my employer, if he did'nt like the 3 days off I had with Dreamer, Fri, Mon, Tue. he should have said something) Animals and other things are important to other people, and he should respect that. His way of thinking is not EVERYONES way of thinking. My animals are taken care of to the BEST of our ability. We put our hearts and guts into each and everyone. I am not to good to say I am sorry for calling him a Heartless M%$#!!@#$%^,,,,, and a few other things, whether I stay or not. I should not have said those things, being in the professional business that I am in, it was uncalled for and very unprofessional of me and I will apologize for it.. I am willing to work this out with him, but he, as an employer, is going to have to respect his employees and their personal decisions/emotions/opinions.

Jill, I have no intentions of going in Mon. with a chip when I talk with the partners. Nor do I expect an apology from him. But what I do expect from him is to keep HIS "sence of humor/opinions" to himself. Just because he EMPLOYS me and the sec. does not give him the RIGHT to do or say the things he does to us. He IS aware that the things he says are hurtful and wrong but, he has the ATTITUDE that since he is the BOSS he can say or do whatever he wants. Just because he is the boss, does not make it right.
 

RJRMINIS

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I truly believe NO employer has the right to talk to you that way, Just because they are your BOSS< does not give them that right.......Any employer that acts that way, will never have employees last. You should treat others the way you want to be treated, and I think what he said is heartless. I have never been a person that could take someones mouth running off like that, and I am very good at telling them where to stick it. There are other jobs, and I will never be one that feels I have to continue working where someone has disrespected me, whether on purpose or accident, an apology would be nice, and maybe you could go on....... But we totally understand where you are coming from...........what means nothing to some people, means everything to others, and if you know it is something they have poured their heart into, and you have to pick at it, that is cruel.

I realize this is hard for you especially with getting along with all but him. I would go in on Monday and see what happens, I would not apologize personally, obviously the other partners understand, and If they want you to stay I would not let him run you out, just go on, and if he ever brings up another word, I would tell him that if it is not to do with business you do not want to hear it.

Ok........off my soapbox.........I just hate people that think they are the boss, means they can say anything they want and get away with it...........if it is business fine, personal crosses the line!
 

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