- Dec 1, 2002
- Reaction score
- Nova Scotia, Canada
William Shakespeare, from Henry VHis neigh is like the bidding of a monarch and his countenance enforces homage.
My name is Susan Crocker, and I AM a horse-aholic.
I would like to welcome all of you to this month's online meeting of Horse-Aholics Anonymous. You may be sitting there thinking that you are OK, and don't really need any help. It is not easy to realize that you are a horse-aholic, and even harder to bring yourself to an HA meeting for help. HA is here to assist you. I have some questions to ask to try to determine if you can be helped.
1. Can you say 'sheath' in public without blushing?
2. Do you know exactly what 'snaffle' means? (No, it is not a drink!)
3. Do you drive a truck with some type of towing package and/or dual rear wheel when everyone else you know drives a real car?
4. Do you have more than one type of trailer because you own horses?
5. Do you spend your holidays going to shows, sales, clinics, and seminars when everyone else goes on cruises?
6. Do you discuss things at the dinner table that would make a doctor leave in disgust?
7. Do you consider formal wear clean jeans and freshly scraped boots?
8. Does the inside of your home look like your interior decorator is State Line Tack'?
9. Do you often have barn boots on your front porch?
10. Is your mail made up primarily of breed magazines and horse catalogs?
11. Do your shirt pockets often contain bits of feed, hay, and empty syringe covers?
12. Do you worry about paying your monthly feed bill before you think of paying your electric bill?
13. When you meet a person, do you ask how many horses they have, and pity them if the answer is none?
14. Do you remember the name of a great-great-great grandsire when you can't remember your own great grandfather's name?
15. Is your primary dream in life to breed the perfect foal?
16. Do you find non-horse people boring?
17. Is 99% of your e-mail about horses?
18. Do you have a collection of bits even larger than your collection of horses?
19. Does you halter collection include more than four halters, all thesame size?
20. Do you think nothing of accessorizing your lingerie with rubber muck boots for night-time or early-morning feedings?
21. Do you carry a hoofpick in your purse?
22. Are there more veterinary supplies and carrots in your refrigerator than groceries?
23. Do you take your horse to the vet before you go to the doc for the broken ribs same horse gave you?
24. Could you eat off your barn aisle but haven't seen your kitchen floor in weeks?
25. Do you know more than five people this list fits exactly?
If you answered YES to three of these questions, you are in pretty good shape. You will lead a long, dull life, and never call your mother and tell her "I'm in the hospital, but everything is fine! The horse is OK."
If you answered YES to 10, you are in serious trouble. Give in gracefully, and become a member of Horse-Aholics Anonymous now... You will qualify eventually anyway.
If you answered YES to 15 or more, you are incurable. My advice to those who, like me, are incurable is as follows..... Sit back, smile, read this again with that silly smile on your face...yes...THAT ONE; and know that your life will always be filled with good friends and better horses, and it will NEVER be boring!