Fear of being a bad parent?

[bonloubri]

I have always said that my son turned out super in spite of everything we did raising him.

He is now a wonderful father to my two super grandchildren. Am I proud of him and his children? You bet I am.

 

[Candice]

I don't post on here very often, and I haven't read all of the replies, but I think the fact that you are putting thought into this and worrying indicates how much you care and that alone will make you a GOOD Mom. The world needs more Moms that care as much as you do.

Just my two cents,

 

[Russ]

Strass.....if your wife shows up pregnant...now I will always wonder...

.............is it Eduardo's or yours? Kidding only kidding

....I couldn't resist tying the sleep talking thread you posted on with this one. You sir, are a very funny and smart guy. I implore you to come talk to my neighbors who think...."babies make good workers''.....yeah that is a big reason why my menonite neighbors keep having them. To each their own...but after I heard it right from their mouth.....I was a bit shocked. Never a mention of loving a child.....just..''they would be great help on the farm''. OH!

Ashley, I've met you several times and you would be a great mom because you do care and you do put alot of love in all things you do in life.......

 

[susanne]

Mike, whether others like to hear it or not, you speak the truth (but look out, the fact that I agree with you will make this opinion even less popular, lol!). However, I would add that your comments are indirectly a vote in favor of Ashley raising children.

Ashley, I'm not a parent, but I am a very involved and observant aunt. I have to agree that the very fact that you are concerned and giving this great thought says that you are going to be a good parent.

The road that you have taken getting to where you are today will give you great empathy, and the children you raise will benefit. Be sure to continue asking questions of yourself and others and never take anything or anyone for granted, and you'll do fine.

 

[AppyLover2]

I haven't read page 2 and 3 so I may be repeating something here; but my advice would be to take your time. If you're haveing doubts don't rush into things....a baby sure isn't something you can take back if you decide you could live without it. Motherhood is a lifetime commitment. There are times that it's just as hard as it is rewarding.

 

[barnbum]

I agree with the above--and lots of other stuff scattered in. Parenting, to me, is a HUGE life long commitment. It's a MAJOR change, and there's no turning back. It's scary as heck! I remember bringing my son home from the hospital thinking why in the world they allowed us to bring him home--how do they know we can do this? But each person finds their own way. Some ways are better than others.

My advice is to wait until your relationship is 100% secure (if there is such a thing). You haven't been together that long. Is there NOTHING that would tear you apart? If parenting is hard, I would imagine splitting up with children is even harder. Just keep thinking about it. If the passion to parent, if the 110% commitment to parenting isn't there--don't do it. If you are at all a selfish person, or one who needs time to herself--don't do it.

Good luck.

Note--my children are 18 and 21. I feel they are going to be wonderful citizens who contribute to the world in a positive way. I gave parenting everything I had in me to be the best mom I could be. And this will be the first summer in 21 years I will spend the days home alone. That's amazing. What a ride.

 

[Mercysmom]

I can't imagine my life without the joy they give. There are MANY challenges, but I think about what I would have missed out had I not had them. They are two of the three HUGE loves of my life.

My first "baby" graduates on Friday the 27th. I have no regrets and consider myself lucky to have had my sons in my life.

Kids don't come with instruction books...I only know having grown up in a family with drug and alcohol abuse that I wanted my kids' lives to be better. I still get hugs every night from two boys who tower over me and could pick me up off the ground.

One son has a learning disability but got accepted to a trade college and has a job in his field when he graduates.

Another son is confident enough to tell me he was gay at the age of 13 and I admire him for his ability to speak his mind and be who he was meant to be. And he is the best darn hair stylist I know of... he told me he was getting his cosmetology license so he could help support himself through college. He is the only kid I know who thought ahead like that...

Guess somewhere along the growing up part, I helped instill those important values in them.

Like the old saying goes, you give your children roots and wings. I think you would be a great parent!

Denise

 

[bingo]

I have been reading this thread and find it interesting that so many have reasons and put thought into why they are to smart or to good to have children but yet very few put any thought into how many horses or dogs they choose to breed a year.

To quote Mike why make more babies until we can provide for all that are already out there.

 

[strass]

I have been reading this thread and find it interesting that so many have reasons and put thought into why they are to smart or to good to have children but yet very few put any thought into how many horses or dogs they choose to breed a year.

To quote Mike why make more babies until we can provide for all that are already out there.

Bingo!...um, Bingo.

I was hoping that someone would pick that up and run with it.

It only makes sense. If we've overpopulated the Earth with ouselves, why would we practice any restraint in any other breeding that we control. If we like it, we flood the market with it. If we don't like it, just go ahead and put it on the endangered species list.

"Moderation is all things" is certainly not the Human Race's best attribute. I'm as guilty as anyone else about going to extremes in one way or another.

 

[bingo]

To bad horses can't tell their owners they are highly intellegent and really should not be bred.